tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post4059738318303257234..comments2024-02-13T05:20:46.558-05:00Comments on A CUP OF JO: My Balance: Erica Rivinoja from "Up All Night"Joanna Goddardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109285188206811042noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-14146871483434572702012-12-18T01:18:46.066-05:002012-12-18T01:18:46.066-05:00She lives in San Francisco with her husband Kermit...She lives in San Francisco with her husband Kermit and toddler Ella. Here, Janet talks about how she tries to find balance (including moving her family cross-country. <a href="http://www.yasabe.com/es/" rel="nofollow">Páginas Amarillas</a><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09988824537426226265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-21249363380719509712012-07-11T15:29:35.740-04:002012-07-11T15:29:35.740-04:00Obviously this is a sensitive subject and people t...Obviously this is a sensitive subject and people tend to measure things from their own perspective although we are all different individuals with different needs. I have been reading this blog for many years without comment and I very much enjoy Joanna´s posts and how insightful and honest many of the readers comments are. We do not have to agree on how we live our lives, there is no secret formula for raising your kids, having a good time or being successful. We just have to try to respect each other and find joy in our own situations.<br /><br />Here is a confession ..I have children myself and as a freelancer for many years my job routine is hectic. While I love my family very much and find them wonderful companions I would never consider being a stay at home mom, it just isn´t for me. Honestly I would be a terrible stay at home mom. Even if financially I did not have to work I still feel working (as a creative person) and connecting with likeminded individuals is the thing I want and need to do. It may seem strange to some to work only to pay the same amount for schools and daycare but both me and my kids would loose our minds if we were together 24/7. Plus my kids have needs to be around other kids as well and I know my kids are happy with both parents working. Perhaps I´m not the average kind of mom but I think this is something a lot of my friends relate to as well.lghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00569808759890970359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-29336376870254075832012-07-10T14:35:15.042-04:002012-07-10T14:35:15.042-04:00Oh my God, Finally someone I can relate to! I am s...Oh my God, Finally someone I can relate to! I am so tired of people not taking trips/refusing week-ends and dinners because they have children... This is pretty much my set up as well.<br /><br />She's hilarious, too.Alexandranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-34599235010015869852012-07-09T04:30:06.562-04:002012-07-09T04:30:06.562-04:00Loving this series, Jo!
Can I just give a big *H...Loving this series, Jo! <br /><br />Can I just give a big *HIGH FIVE* to the commenter Anna Culp for her comment...<br /><br />I couldn't have said it better myself! <br /><br />xSally Cagenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-35772744620027092782012-07-08T09:01:47.684-04:002012-07-08T09:01:47.684-04:00HAHA! Your answer to Number 7 is so me, and one of...HAHA! Your answer to Number 7 is so me, and one of the main reasons having children terrifies me! Seriously, just last weekend I walked through target (trying to buy ONE SPECIFIC THING) and left with flip flops and three $30dresses! I love the honesty of saying you loved your life before your child, but that you wouldn't trade what you have now for that life. So great!lauravaughnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12145176101153516243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-50691038357784188312012-07-07T22:04:28.269-04:002012-07-07T22:04:28.269-04:00I found this whole series very sad. People who hav...I found this whole series very sad. People who have little time to devote to their marriage, themselves, and their children. I'm not sure when raising children became optional, or a luxury. <br /><br />As a child of a mom who worked 50 plus hours a week (and still does, at age 61), I have little sympathy for these women and feel for their kids. I had very caring babysitters (not called "nannies" at that point), but they were not replacements for my parents. I remember crying myself to sleep after my mom said she would be home to tuck me in, pick me up from school, attend recitals, etc. but was later "too busy" at work. My father also worked and made a very comfortable living, and was home most evenings by 8pm. <br /><br />I have made a decision to never work more than part time while raising my children. This meant that I took a significant pay cut, we had to move to a smaller house in a less desirable city, and I can't afford to buy some of the clothes that I want, but it has been 100% worth it. I really think that my decision to cut back has made a huge positive difference in my marriage and my relationship with my children (and their relationships with each other). <br /><br />My mother raised me to never be "one man away from welfare" (her words, not mine) and now she has accused me of wasting my college and grad degree. I was so grateful for the Atlantic article and purposely left it at her house. I hope she will read it and consider my perspective. I understand that work has been very meaningful for her (my father made a very comfortable living and my mother was not working for the money, necessarily) but I think she missed out on us growing up. I don't know if that's a great trade-off.<br /><br />I know that no one will read this, since I posted it so late. However, the idea that women, or men, or children, "can have it all" is a lie. I don't know if I celebrate the women in this series or pity them.Amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-64904125754818712352012-07-07T20:17:10.849-04:002012-07-07T20:17:10.849-04:00This series has been an answer to my prayers. As a...This series has been an answer to my prayers. As a newer mom (October 2011) - I have really struggled with how to find balance. I work in advertising, am working on my masters and have found this life as a new mom to be completely overwhelming. I have a wonderful husband who stays home with our little girl, but I feel so guilty being at work and then so guilty when I can't get all my work done to the level I want to. Today, I have had a revelation that all moms struggle with how to do well - at motherhood, marriage and career. It's great to know I am not alone and also great to get some much needed perspective. Thank you SOOO much for doing this series.Karihttp://www.upupandaways.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-60630631245763452252012-07-07T19:14:35.409-04:002012-07-07T19:14:35.409-04:00"quality over quantity" is like my mantr..."quality over quantity" is like my mantra whenever I'm feeling a little guilty about taking some time away from my kid or being at work late. It helps both to ease my guilt and to make sure the time I do have with her is really spent WITH her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-76189309162853949762012-07-07T17:15:07.510-04:002012-07-07T17:15:07.510-04:00Janan, really agree. I spoke to someone much older...Janan, really agree. I spoke to someone much older them me, who had 7 kids. Old school Mom. She said the same thing, women are fulling themselves and becoming slaves to their work and boss.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-78781277401893131502012-07-07T08:16:04.831-04:002012-07-07T08:16:04.831-04:00I think it is good to go back to work after you be...I think it is good to go back to work after you become a mum, as what happens if the marriage dissolves and you still have young children living at home and need to start financially supporting them? I've read articles about men having a midlife crisis and running off with their secretary and the wife, who was a stay at home mum, has been out of the workforce for so long that she struggles to find a job. I think we need to be prepared for anything - you never, ever know what will happen so it is important to be able to take care of yourself if necessary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-58343658740925688662012-07-07T00:06:32.781-04:002012-07-07T00:06:32.781-04:00I think the idea that you can't begin anything...I think the idea that you can't begin anything new after your kids leave is ridiculous. And also the idea that if you're staying home with your kids you can't do anything awesome? I have MORE time for awesomeness than any of these featured ladies! lol. I am raising awesome people. I have 4 kids and am a SAHM and I have a full happy life. I have time for my kids, me, and my husband (you know, that guy you made vows to?) The working mom is a slave to her schedule & boss & commute etc..., not me! I am Queen:)Jananhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04127594741785301487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-28131725399631414642012-07-06T18:48:25.721-04:002012-07-06T18:48:25.721-04:00Mandee, I work full time and have a toddler, and I...Mandee, I work full time and have a toddler, and I do work out regularly. It requires a little creativity but I squeeze it in. I do a lot of it at home after my sons bedtime, and on the one night a week my husband picks up from daycare I go to a s class. I don't run, but my husband does and he just does it in the neighborhood before dinner if he gets home early enough. Anyway, just wanted to tell you it is possible!Michelenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-90384172403654274682012-07-06T17:05:14.069-04:002012-07-06T17:05:14.069-04:00Gotta agree with Ms. A. As a new mom recently bac...Gotta agree with Ms. A. As a new mom recently back to work, I have been enjoying this series and I plan to go back and read the one that features moms that are at home with their kids. I can't help but notice, though, that so many of these wonderful women you profile have (the resources for) nannies, international vacations, etc. That's fabulous, but not an option for me or any of the women I know. How about including some folks in lower income brackets in the next series?Alicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-51906061475340194342012-07-06T14:41:34.148-04:002012-07-06T14:41:34.148-04:00hey Joanna, I have been enjoying all these posts a...hey Joanna, I have been enjoying all these posts about mom's. I am 26, not yet married and no kids but this is a one day for me! I am loving reading about it and it sounds like such a challenge. Something that is SO important to me is fitness and I haven't read about any fitness into these women's days! Where do they find the time to work out? If these women don't, hopefully we can read about some women who make that a priority and how they squeeze it in! I want babies but I can't bear the thought of giving up running and Pilates. thank you!Mandeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04872550106479607094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-52047471658692057032012-07-06T14:09:55.253-04:002012-07-06T14:09:55.253-04:00it's always interesting hearing about other pe...it's always interesting hearing about other people's lives. is it just me wondering about the work/life balance of the nanny? I'm sure she has a wonderful job, but working 50-60 hours per week?kristinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-89034376230863754802012-07-06T13:00:57.557-04:002012-07-06T13:00:57.557-04:00I liked her alot until her stay at home mom commen...I liked her alot until her stay at home mom comments. Those are fighting words woman! I personally feel I'm contributing to society by raising secure, happy children that know that I'm there for them. Believe me, it can be a very thankless and at times bleak job, but it's not less important than what you are doing. I find many children of working families to be moody, whiny and clingy around their parents. And a handful of them to have behavioral problems in class. And many of them lack social skills as well. No offense, but thats what I see. and I see it because I'm there every day picking up my children and chit chatting with the nannies. I also live in a major city. One child I know fakes some kind of sickness whenever his mom has some time off. I asked him why he gets sick everytime his mom is not working and he told me that he misses her...alot! So, there's definitely some trade offs I guess to working and for staying at home. If it means that I'm will be so BORED when they go off to college... that's okay. As long as they are happy, well adjusted, secure and knew that I was there for them, then I can deal with that :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-26988741398400859922012-07-06T12:38:59.569-04:002012-07-06T12:38:59.569-04:00Joanna,
This is a nice coment I promise :)I come t...Joanna,<br />This is a nice coment I promise :)I come to your website every day for my relaxing, calming, stop working and breathe time, and I was dreading coming today, because I am a working out of the home mom and I hate it, this series was making me sad :( but this post really made me laugh and cry and I guess I need to stop feeling bad about myself and be happy and work with what I do have. Erica is very funny, she made me laugh, so thanks for her profile.Mimi Hnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-59616994835622733302012-07-06T12:18:25.213-04:002012-07-06T12:18:25.213-04:00I love this blog, but I gotta say, I'm over th...I love this blog, but I gotta say, I'm over this series. White women, nannies, top jobs as television and magazine writers? <br /><br />Come on, now...CultureCubehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17331130811772874947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-52083225227049447102012-07-06T11:33:00.709-04:002012-07-06T11:33:00.709-04:00It's funny because a few days ago I was just t...It's funny because a few days ago I was just thinking how it would be a good idea if you wrote posts on balancing work and having a baby. It's been super hard to figure out, I'm not there yet but love knowing I'm not the only one! Thanks:)Meganhttp://www.himegan.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-49744153648395353842012-07-06T11:14:36.913-04:002012-07-06T11:14:36.913-04:00Although these women are in different career field...Although these women are in different career fields and economic level from myself, I am finding them enjoyable to read. I am learning new ways to fit time in for myself and spouse. My hubby and I have dropped the ball in this area and need to reconnect. So I can't afford a night out on Broadway, but I can do a high school play or even catch a free summer park performance. Can't do the international trip but a day trip to a new town works just the same. Thanks Joanna!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-50475147350826329332012-07-06T10:48:12.940-04:002012-07-06T10:48:12.940-04:00It's great to hear how these women balance the...It's great to hear how these women balance their lives. This series is very interesting as I've never really had a desire to have children. It makes me realize that having kids is not for everybody. I don't want to worry about childcare and not being able to go when I please. It might sound selfish but that is why I don't plan on having any. I also find this competition between working moms vs stay at home moms to be odd. They both seem very difficult and stressful in it's own very different way. Being a mother is a tough job. I do love the never lose who you are statement. I think that should be applied to all mothers regardless of finance, stay at home, working mom, etc. Thanks for the insight. I loved reading this post as well as the rest of the series.DInoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-88439343655691333322012-07-06T10:47:41.025-04:002012-07-06T10:47:41.025-04:00Yes! Number 7, yes YESSSS! My sister-in-law kept s...Yes! Number 7, yes YESSSS! My sister-in-law kept saying that after I had our baby late last year, "Can you even remember what you did before him?" and my mind would be flooded with - "went to the movies, read a book, slept all night, took a nap, ran into the store with just a credit card and car key in my pocket," etc. Of course I love my baby, but come on. <br /><br />I'm also a stay-at-home mom but really would like to get back to work, I really miss it. I think people assume that women feel fulfilled staying home with kids when in fact, some don't. :) Love these interviews!Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01607073144566952786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-6531023629817692752012-07-06T10:47:25.428-04:002012-07-06T10:47:25.428-04:00As an older(49) reader, I find this series fascina...As an older(49) reader, I find this series fascinating. I remember struggling with striking a balance when my children were babies and feeling like their 18th birthdays were eons away and that the bleary-eyed morning rush into the world would never get better. And while I hesitate to define myself because at any given moment I am something else, the title of mother has brought me more joy than other I have held. My boys are now kind, talented, empathic young men and this is my greatest success. Striking a balance was always difficult but I have never wished for more days at work as I now long and ache with all my heart and soul for more days with my sons. I know you hear it every day, and in my mind I can see myself rolling my eyes, but those 18 years go by so very, very quickly. Admire your careers for they are powerful, amazing accomplishments, but try to embrace "Mom" for all the beauty,grace and light that it can bring to the world every day.Lizzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06842654891027390821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-33695950859608861302012-07-06T10:31:19.367-04:002012-07-06T10:31:19.367-04:00Thanks, Joanna! I am really enjoying these intervi...Thanks, Joanna! I am really enjoying these interviews...<br /><br />I have to disagree with a previous commenter who said kids do not admire their mothers for working but for only being with them.. My mum was (is, actually!) a working mum, and I am so proud of her career and I see her as a role model. <br /><br />I have many friends that complaint or are sorry because their mothers only occupation was being a stay at home mother (which in Argentina usually means, having a full time nanny/maid to the the housework, as well) and after their kids grew up have nothing to do.<br /><br />A few years ago my father and mother got divorced, and although it was tough for both my parents, and for my siblings and I, my mother did not have to worry about her financial situation because she is capable of providing for herself (and helping us, too :)).<br /><br />She is a great role model, and a great mother, who always spent time with us, despite having to work very long hoursAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-50045325065214196262012-07-06T10:28:31.088-04:002012-07-06T10:28:31.088-04:00These are tough decisions, and there are too many ...These are tough decisions, and there are too many variables at play to judge yourself or others so harshly. <br /><br />The thing is, most women make less money than men for the same work. Women also tend to have careers that are non-linear, which means their income gains are non-linear. If you are thinking about having a family, you should talk to people with similar jobs in your city because childcare costs vary so much. I enjoy these interviews even though I can't really relate to their jobs, incomes, or childcare options.<br /><br />I get hung up on the logistics of work and babies, so it's nice to read these interviews and focus on the universal experiences of being a mother, wife, and woman.ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11414537639917539473noreply@blogger.com