tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post4016614830951420037..comments2024-02-13T05:20:46.558-05:00Comments on A CUP OF JO: Motherhood Mondays: On having a boyJoanna Goddardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109285188206811042noreply@blogger.comBlogger584125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-29005623296300553672015-04-30T20:16:39.431-04:002015-04-30T20:16:39.431-04:00I babysat two boys I absolutely adored when I was ...I babysat two boys I absolutely adored when I was a teenager and I think that has helped me feel more truly like I'd be equally happy with either. It does seem natural to be enamored with the idea of bonding with a girl and of course all of the adorable clothes, and I would love a girl too, but I am definitely of the opinion that if I ended up with a little mini of my husband that would be quite alright with me!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01035278685203676561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-21024039798728724192015-02-19T12:03:21.399-05:002015-02-19T12:03:21.399-05:00love that you shared this. I'm expecting my fi...love that you shared this. I'm expecting my first, a boy, and there is that little disappointment over not having a girl. This post is so comforting in that I am so thankful he's healthy and so thankful that I'm pregnant and I've been hoping that when he arrives those little anxieties over having a boy will disappear.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10341082525012888686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-36442431640077247912015-02-18T09:33:35.572-05:002015-02-18T09:33:35.572-05:00Joanna, I have read your blog for years and yester...Joanna, I have read your blog for years and yesterday to my great surprise the doctor who told me that I probably was carrying a little girl, told me I was having a boy! I was so unprepared and hormonal I just got to the car and cried. No more princesses, and tea parties...but I have thought so much about it and read this post. Thank you for writing it, and for your encouraging honesty. I am sure from the moment he is born I will love our sweet little boy!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15557434772948932604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-59534804884541213542015-01-22T14:26:57.959-05:002015-01-22T14:26:57.959-05:00I had to come back to this post. I'm pregnant ...I had to come back to this post. I'm pregnant (with my first) and before I knew what I was having, I hoped for a girl. I know I want a daughter someday, and maybe it will never happen. When the U/S tech told us that we're having a boy, I was numb. I cried all the way home. Not because I don't want this boy that I'm having, but because I felt I was mourning that possibility that I will never have a daughter. it was incredibly painful. It only took a couple of days, though, to fully absorb the idea of a little boy, and now I'm very excited to experience the mother-son bond that so many people talk about! Thanks Joanna, for being so honest about this subject. Seeing your sweet little boys really proves that gender doesn't matter. I'm now just feeling so lucky to be pregnant with a big healthy baby.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15890224543170035877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-43101515629938276212015-01-17T18:50:08.293-05:002015-01-17T18:50:08.293-05:00I thought having a boy would be tough because I ma...I thought having a boy would be tough because I mainly have women on my side of the family, but I couldn't imagine my life without my son. I thought he may not be as close to me because he is a boy, but it is the opposite. The love he shows me at the age of two is amazing and I can't believe I doubted that. :)<br /><br />-Erin<br />www.thecurlyroots.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13420391737261416520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-29444527925959796312014-12-08T18:45:46.829-05:002014-12-08T18:45:46.829-05:00This is my experience EXACTLY. Imagined, expected ...This is my experience EXACTLY. Imagined, expected a girl, felt lke an awful person for being disappointed...but then I met my beautiful, giant, grunty baby boy and of course, of course he's perfect.Thank you for writing this! It's something I've tried to express and just haven't gotten right. Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12965955787877536897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-50225754635375267192014-10-09T08:43:31.602-04:002014-10-09T08:43:31.602-04:00Hey Jo, love the blog! :) What strikes me most abo...Hey Jo, love the blog! :) What strikes me most about the first part of this post is the gender stereotyping; not your fault just something that is very prevalent in our society. I think it's more harmful to us than anything else. Why would you consider swimming in the ocean as a boy's activity? I'm a girl and I love swimming in the ocean more than anything and I don't think I'm an exception. I just wanted to make the point that the more rigid we are about what makes boys boys and vice versa keeps us stuck in roles that we might not want to play. Let's stop labelling things as boys activities and girls activities and let's just enjoy the plethora of choice that this world yields to us.<br /><br />Best wishes,<br />Claire from LondonFollowYourBlisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07154974271296999442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-33179127512670689812014-09-24T01:55:19.253-04:002014-09-24T01:55:19.253-04:00How funny, I had the same thing when they told me ...How funny, I had the same thing when they told me I was having a girl. I 'felt' it was a boy and was secretly disappointed, even if I kept saying 'I'm trilled it's a girl'. I was a real boy when I was a kid, a knew everything about boystuff... So I was afraid of all the girly stuff and that I wouldn't connect with my baby. How silly! Now she's with me for 4 months and couldn't imagine me anybody else then my little sweet Sofia! And to be sure, I made my sister (who is extremely girly) godmother, so if the girly stuff was to much for me, she could always count on her... :)Anche_vrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16355068769806547062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-49372694259746843892014-09-15T17:14:55.194-04:002014-09-15T17:14:55.194-04:00I just found out today that my little baby is a BO...I just found out today that my little baby is a BOY, when I imagined him as a girl all along. I, too, harbored that secret longing for a girl (although it made me feel incredibly guilty) and I didn't quite squeal with glee at the ultrasound because I was so shocked. <br /><br />But then I remembered this post and how sweet it was, and I came back to find it and read it again. Thank you for sharing thoughts like these because they are a great comfort to many readers who are having very similar experiences! I am the first of my friends to have a baby, so a lot of your motherhood posts offer that great sisterly advice that I sometimes miss. <br /><br />It's only been a few hours since the big surprise, but I'm already smiling thinking about this unique and wonderful little guy that I already love; this post really helped ease my fear. katie vanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15767793583288316942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-40064424891074276972014-07-24T16:07:26.577-04:002014-07-24T16:07:26.577-04:00Sorry, but I find this post and the comments reall...Sorry, but I find this post and the comments really depressing. There doesn't seem to be much room for a child's behaviour outside of the traditional gender norms. How can you make assumptions about a person's preferences who doesn't exist yet? It seems really restrictive, old fashioned, and super heteronormative too. I also really hope these posters don't assume their children aren't/ won't be queer, otherwise everyone may be in for a difficult time.Alihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01437669568699951209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-11599994785617528762014-06-02T15:59:15.817-04:002014-06-02T15:59:15.817-04:00I'm so glad you are addressing this. I felt li...I'm so glad you are addressing this. I felt like a terrible person for feeling the same course of emotions that you shared. It took a good day and a half for me to stop thinking that I was going to be a terrible mother who would have no connection to a boy whatsoever. Now at 29 weeks pregnant I am so super excited! What helped me get there was all my friends with boys saying the same thing: "little boys love their mommas". I can't wait to give and receive that amazing love.Carlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11076964976138996510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-51732621046096133322014-05-13T22:37:49.151-04:002014-05-13T22:37:49.151-04:00I did secretly hoped for a girl. But I knew he was...I did secretly hoped for a girl. But I knew he was a boy from the beginning. I began planning and I thought I would be one of those "gender neutral" moms. That was until I found out my son is obsessed with Cars (the movie and real things) and basically anything with wheels (wheelchairs, cars, strollers, doesn't matter). It has totally changed my perspective of all things boys. I'm still not sure about sports, but he is a mini-me with doing all of my habits and looking just like me!<br />I am happy with a boy, especially one with a fashion sense he was born with. It saves me money in the fashion department. ;-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13317305899031396050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-68787695156286972762014-01-30T08:27:58.314-05:002014-01-30T08:27:58.314-05:00I was terrified at the prospect of having a boy. D...I was terrified at the prospect of having a boy. During my first pregnancy I worried constantly about it. I knew nothing about boys. I grew up with a sister, I had never BEEN a boy! I had been the girliest little girl I knew.<br /><br />I am now the mother of two little boys and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are 6 and 7 and fantastic. They play football, build lego spaceships and know everything about Star Wars. And so do I. And it's fun! <br /><br />And everybody knows how much boys love their mummys. Mine are no exception and I never, ever wich that I'd had a girl.MayPearcehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02398317411246122163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-82403098958397038442013-12-10T22:15:15.043-05:002013-12-10T22:15:15.043-05:00Thank you for this post. I'm 6 months along an...Thank you for this post. I'm 6 months along and since we found out we're having a boy, I've been, sadly, a bit nervous/disappointed/apprehensive about the whole boy thing. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who had those conflicting feelings.<br />Again, thank you for your honesty and helping me see that in a few short months I'll be a mom to the best kid ever (boy or girl)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01000851353144371181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-33284846888416446892013-10-15T21:02:07.886-04:002013-10-15T21:02:07.886-04:00I always wanted girls because I wasn't sure wh...I always wanted girls because I wasn't sure what to do with boys. Then I had a son and he has coloured my world. We have such a special relationship. Sons make their mothers feel like rock stars. Such a unique and precious bond.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-52950881323565351562013-09-24T11:15:09.991-04:002013-09-24T11:15:09.991-04:00This sums up my experience perfectly! It's no...This sums up my experience perfectly! It's not that I wished for a girl but I only picked out girl names (they were so much easier to come up with than boys names) and only looked at girl clothes :-) Now, I couldn't imagine having anyone other than my little boy! I'm sure it's because he is my Benjamin that I am so happy to have had a boy.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16551133232259825303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-4897517628961031722013-09-02T15:47:20.636-04:002013-09-02T15:47:20.636-04:00I love your blog! I just wanted to let you know t...I love your blog! I just wanted to let you know that I've added you to my blog roll: http://www.amyroachsenter.blogspot.com<br /><br />Thanks for posting!<br /><br />Amy Senter<br />ASpoolofThread<br />www.aspoolofthread.etsy.com<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-61370267369104685292013-07-05T14:28:58.116-04:002013-07-05T14:28:58.116-04:00Wow this is exactly what i needed yesterday i had ...Wow this is exactly what i needed yesterday i had my gender revealing party i cried all night after everyone left i wanted a girl so bad i couldnt see myself with a baby boy but this post was so honest positive and reassuring i cant wait to meet my little Eligh thank you joAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03253149304890874020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-53356215006190005272013-06-28T09:36:18.801-04:002013-06-28T09:36:18.801-04:00OK, over two years since you wrote this post, but....OK, over two years since you wrote this post, but...you have a Toby! I have a Toby too, although mine was born in 1996 and just turned 17. Yikes.<br /><br />I hear you completely about fear of bonding with a son. I too was afraid of that, before I married and children became a probability. For some odd reason, once I met my to-be husband and knew we were our futures, I (note the pronoun) decided we'd have two children, one of each; that the boy would come first, and that his name would be Tobias. Because it goes with Henley. We'd name him Daniel too -- Tobias Daniel, after my father Dan. The girl would come next, and we'd name her Elizabeth Jean, after her paternal grandmother Eliza, my mother Elizabeth, my mother-in-law Jean and my wonderful step-mother Jean. I did have back-up names in case we had two of the same gender. And they would both be redheads, as I am but as my husband isn't.<br /><br />And my children did come in that order, with those names, and they are redheads.<br /><br />But I digress. <br /><br />I was less afraid of Toby's development because my husband and I are bookish, computer-addicted types and there are no close masculine role-models whose interests differ vastly from ours, but that bonding! Oh my god, the bonding. I would go into his room at night, pick him up deep in sleep and sit with him until I felt centered and ready for bed. This became essential later when Toby was not quite a year old and my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Always a nervous flyer, before Toby I'd imagine my cat sitting on my lap when things got rough. After Toby I'd put myself back in the glider, him on my shoulder, warm, heavy and smelling milky. It always calmed me down then, and calms me still as I write this. Sometimes better than sex, that warm milky silence.<br /><br />Anyway. Glad I discovered you. Congratulations on your success! Blog on!Bravegirl01https://www.blogger.com/profile/11644318538839619982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-24986462052107092242013-04-02T03:04:19.498-04:002013-04-02T03:04:19.498-04:00When I read this, I felt as though you had actuall...When I read this, I felt as though you had actually expressed everything I have ever felt! Picturing my "ideal life" I thought that I would get married and then have two kids (a boy first and then a girl). But when I found out I was pregnant and I was five months along, I secretly hoped for a girl. I thought to myself 'if this is the one child i'll ever have, I really hope it's a girl'<br /><br />Then my beautiful, sweet little boy came along and I couldn't be happier! He is 14 months now, and is so cuddly and affectionate. He is the happiest baby I have ever seen, and is so full of character! If I am having a bad day and i'm a bit upset, he comes up to me and starts patting my back and lays his head on my knees, and if that doesn't cheer me up he starts trying to do anything he can to make me laugh!<br /><br />I do get a bit concerned sometimes, like the other night when he saw monster trucks on TV and sat completely mesmerised by the whirring engines and the giant, flying, brightly coloured trucks, and then cried when I turned the TV off and the trucks went away. "Manly" hobbies like monster trucks and wrestling really aren't in my realm of interest, but I know that we have a strong bond and that he loves me, and i'm sure as we get older we'll find other activities to do together.Mother Goosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16541255467801416909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-76006093428803844492013-03-24T09:04:25.183-04:002013-03-24T09:04:25.183-04:00Jo,
I felt the same way you did! My whole pregna...Jo, <br /><br />I felt the same way you did! My whole pregnancy (we didn't find out the gender until birth)I was hoping and even praying for a little girl. When that little boy surprised me, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. He is only two and half months now, the little squirt, and I can't wait to see him exploring the greenbelt with daddy or finger painting with me. Thanks for your honesty. I was always afraid to admit I had wanted a girl because of my little boy finding out and feeling that I didn't want him. You have inspired me to write a blog about it! <br />Check out my blog if you have the time. I'm still working out the kinks. Let me know what you think. http://dropsofapril.blogspot.com/Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17735578639847476020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-80306645140422268412013-03-13T00:33:22.999-04:002013-03-13T00:33:22.999-04:00Just wanted to say how much this post meant to me....Just wanted to say how much this post meant to me. I found out a couple weeks ago I'm having a boy (due in July, too!) and was a little disappointed at first, I'd just always dreamed of having a daughter and don't really know anything about boys! This post made me feel much more positive and excited, can't wait till the little one comes!Awniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11471246476901417673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-50612419731010615222013-03-12T18:20:33.555-04:002013-03-12T18:20:33.555-04:00I absolutely adore my four-year-old son. He just g...I absolutely adore my four-year-old son. He just gets better and better, as if that's even possible.<br />I always wanted to be a mom; I never could have imagined this much joy, bliss, and love (or sleep-deprivation). <br />I love having a boy. Presumably I would feel the same way if I had a girl...I suppose?K.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13853112998521464650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-10387040868196471492013-03-12T18:16:43.024-04:002013-03-12T18:16:43.024-04:00I felt the same way as you. Had two girls' nam...I felt the same way as you. Had two girls' names picked out; no boys' names; etc. <br />I immediately fell head over heels in love with my son. He is now four-and-a-half and just gets more wonderful, as if that's even possible! I love having a son. I presume that I would feel the same way if I had a daughter...but...I don't know...this is awesome! K.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13853112998521464650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-19418348283273068722013-02-23T15:53:10.088-05:002013-02-23T15:53:10.088-05:00My husband and I were ambivalent about having chil...My husband and I were ambivalent about having children, but both hoped for a boy - I because I'm not the girliest girl there ever was, my husband because he grew up with mostly males leading us to believe we'd be able to relate to a girl. After years of not not trying to the point of my thinking there was something very wrong with me, we got the surprise of our lives. I immediately knew I was having a girl because my relationship with my mother is in such shambles that she would either help us heal or continue the trend. As time wound down to my 20 week ultrasound, it suddenly occurred to me just how ridiculous I was being. Here I was with this great blessing. Shouldn't I be more concerned that my baby be healthy? Then, like Lori above, I realized that this would be MY baby and our relationship wasn't doomed to follow any pattern we didn't create for ourselves and I stopped fearing having a baby girl and just enjoyed the fact that I was pregnant. My husband and I ultimately learned we were having a baby boy. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com