tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post1005241510923794814..comments2024-02-13T05:20:46.558-05:00Comments on A CUP OF JO: How to say goodbye at a partyJoanna Goddardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109285188206811042noreply@blogger.comBlogger261125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-62507992099028540512015-02-20T10:54:52.886-05:002015-02-20T10:54:52.886-05:00You know what? Before my Sunday night wedding last...You know what? Before my Sunday night wedding last october, I would have thought this was rude. But, I spent probably at least an hour total of my reception saying bye to people, having small chit-chat, when I could have been having fun on the dance floor with my hubby or spending time with the people that were staying (like grandparents and out of town guests!). I totally agree with this one. <br /><br />If it feels rude, a quick wave might be nice--people understand that you might need to get home for some reason. But it doesn't take up 10 minutes of the host's time for "goodbye talk". <br /><br />Great post!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06158138985543071177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-81751715430669725882015-02-17T20:03:29.572-05:002015-02-17T20:03:29.572-05:00I am a HUGE fan of just leaving (why take up their...I am a HUGE fan of just leaving (why take up their time?). Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14814658966982155228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-5565893446809669042015-02-17T15:45:18.359-05:002015-02-17T15:45:18.359-05:00Oof, just read the comment about someone who didn&...Oof, just read the comment about someone who didn't get a chance to say goodbye to a brother who later died. Yeah, another case in point. Some token of a appreciation, a good time, something. Send a large group text, whatever, but something, I feel is called for or it becomes weird. Don't make it about you or rob someone of time with others, but send a text or something as you walk to your cab, shut the door, something to put the people you left behind at ease me thinks.the Jungsts and their youngstershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06044317276157102252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-22241760953271258092015-02-17T15:40:34.170-05:002015-02-17T15:40:34.170-05:00TOTALLY understand where this is coming from as a ...TOTALLY understand where this is coming from as a host, but truly think it's a major bummer. Granted, I don't have or often attend larger parties and it's quite possible that it'd make more sense with larger crowds in smaller spaces and departing. Gotta say, though, that it's actually perceived as rude and does often makes people feel like something was wrong. We have a couple in our group who often do this exact thing and it leaves all of us perplexed and wondering if everything was okay. It'd likely be fine it they'd just say it was their m.o. and hope they didn't offend anyone and thanked us for a good time, even if they said something the next day, but they do not. So, it just comes off as selfish and rude. Even a quick text would suffice, but they say nothing, so it feels kind of weird and little gross, honestly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-23984083194628301912014-01-31T15:39:53.661-05:002014-01-31T15:39:53.661-05:00Upon first reading this, I thought this concept wa...Upon first reading this, I thought this concept was absolutely brilliant . A lingering awkwardness almost always accompanies a goodbye, and so avoiding that uneasiness all together is lovely. However, I went to a party the next Sunday, after I had read this, at my oldest brother's home. All my family, consisting of 7 siblings, all of our kids plus our parents attended. I left without a thank you or our usual hug goodbye. <br />Unfortunately, my brother unexpectedly died the next morning due to an undetected atrial fibrillation and more than anything I wish I had taken the opportunity to give him one last thank you and hug goodbye.<br />My case in point: Never skip a chance to show appreciation and love to those who mean the most to you...even if leaving a large gathering.The Red Crewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04427312834523776250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-20825567594071244312013-12-09T10:22:06.408-05:002013-12-09T10:22:06.408-05:00I do this all the time! I find it easier than trac...I do this all the time! I find it easier than tracking the host down (when they're usually in conversation with someone else already), and then bursting their happy bubble with a goodbye. I always send a hand written note the next morning to say thank-you. If they did notice me slip out the door without saying goodbye, their joy at receiving a handmade thank you card eclipses any upset that may have been caused!Amelia Kate Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285078024123029132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-18326042550376951782013-11-23T17:48:37.215-05:002013-11-23T17:48:37.215-05:00I think this is a great idea! I completely agree t...I think this is a great idea! I completely agree that good byes are typically a downer. Unconsciously I have been doing this for years even with big good byes. Living abroad I realized that having my mother drop me at the airport to return to Spain was a disaster for all of us. Tsa questioning if I was "ok" to fly was never fun. Yes I was ok, can't a girl miss her momma????<br />So from a small party like yours to a going away party I have always snuck out. I always send some sort of text email or card that encompasses my sentiment that would have been the formal and in person good bye.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-39936304751191075832013-11-14T11:58:51.976-05:002013-11-14T11:58:51.976-05:00So funny, this wouldn't even occur to me--I gu...So funny, this wouldn't even occur to me--I guess I've never hosted a party with enough people!<br /><br />Check out my blog, if you'd like: http://greenmountainglobetrotter.blogspot.com/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-62903233344803488292013-11-12T17:38:16.653-05:002013-11-12T17:38:16.653-05:00I had no idea that so many people slipped out of p...I had no idea that so many people slipped out of parties without saying goodbye! I would find it extremely rude if someone left a party I was hosting without a goodbye. It can be a quick wave and thank you if I'm busy but just slipping out would make me wonder if something was wrong! So naturally when I'm leaving someone else's party, if the host is busy, I'll do a quick wave and mouth 'thanks' but if they're not, then sometimes that's the best time to have a little conversation with them before leaving. I think that people who leave without saying bye probably haven't hosted too many parties themselves. I hope this isn't a trend that is going to catch on!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07268054404470551333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-3214833751960699792013-11-12T06:38:56.024-05:002013-11-12T06:38:56.024-05:00I live in Spain and here you can easily spend an h...I live in Spain and here you can easily spend an hour saying goodbye. at a friends, at a party, restaurant even if you just meet for a coffee, they spend MIN 15 minutes saying goodbye. I try to stand up, say bye and leave, but most people think I am rude but say "she's english, she's different"... so I kinda get away with it. In any case, I always try to sneak out, not making people feel that since i have to gi, it's time for them too. great.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07884177624671452757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-68791497771300315572013-11-11T16:03:31.301-05:002013-11-11T16:03:31.301-05:00As a recent bride, I have to say I am totally grat...As a recent bride, I have to say I am totally grateful that our guests did not say good-bye before leaving! That being said, I always thought drawn out good-byes were perfectly normal, based on my family gatherings (on both sides!)... the price to pay with large families!Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13312541719280232877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-83603554998809493112013-11-11T11:51:41.555-05:002013-11-11T11:51:41.555-05:00so fascinating to hear everyone's thoughts!! t...so fascinating to hear everyone's thoughts!! thanks for these comments:)Joanna Goddardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109285188206811042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-38088599263126925692013-11-11T10:44:50.956-05:002013-11-11T10:44:50.956-05:00An interesting concept. It makes me wonder how peo...An interesting concept. It makes me wonder how people who have huge weddings deal with this--their entire night would feel like a goodbye instead of a fresh start! I had a small wedding 33 people and we never once said goodbye that night because it was a destination wedding and everyone had a room at the chateau that entire week. I will rethink about saying goodbyes now however, when I am invited to a larger party for the sake of the host.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-56894587084477157172013-11-11T09:35:55.781-05:002013-11-11T09:35:55.781-05:00I always heard of Irish Goodbyes, which is where y...I always heard of Irish Goodbyes, which is where you just leave.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03246844609776543680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-79407323773910014212013-11-10T04:42:33.396-05:002013-11-10T04:42:33.396-05:00So I read this and shared your idea of not saying ...So I read this and shared your idea of not saying goodbye with my husband who loved it but I found it incredibly stressful. I think you really need to take in to consideration who your hosts are. As an introvert and a people-pleaser, it is deeply important to me to connect with all my guests and when some slip out and don't say goodbye (especially when I have no idea how long they actually stuck around) I will worry for days that I did something wrong or offended them in some way. Even if they send a thank you later. But I also don't mind all the little goodbye conversations. I think you just need to consider who it is.Stacia, Paper Swallow Eventshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09385161105645416484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-33177185512266514192013-11-09T19:32:40.953-05:002013-11-09T19:32:40.953-05:00Irish goodbye where I'm from ;)Irish goodbye where I'm from ;)Melissa Jadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16616948541407120871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-60688193290557640212013-11-09T16:44:31.753-05:002013-11-09T16:44:31.753-05:00I'm a big fan of the Irish goodbye. Especially...I'm a big fan of the Irish goodbye. Especially with children.Amy @ The American-Made Guide to Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12094414111497767952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-23452734407740311572013-11-09T03:59:59.986-05:002013-11-09T03:59:59.986-05:00I find that saying goodbye is one way to be acknow...I find that saying goodbye is one way to be acknowledged at the party by the host. Depending on the guest list, some folks never even get a chance to have a conversation with the host so the 'goodbye' is an informal way of tying ends together.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02217605615888676657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-73433051867095522072013-11-08T23:17:34.159-05:002013-11-08T23:17:34.159-05:00I think it would be cute to slip out from a party ...I think it would be cute to slip out from a party unnoticed, but leave behind and little thank you card for the host(s) to findReinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12573756036115300827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-37079651722952579192013-11-08T22:46:53.224-05:002013-11-08T22:46:53.224-05:00I most always slip out of large parties or events ...I most always slip out of large parties or events but feel guilty for doing so. I love your post, gives me permission and I totally agree. I hate the long good byes. I also like the followup "thank you". Kimmielovesparishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16259476867320752006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-6795605032149085562013-11-08T22:45:48.602-05:002013-11-08T22:45:48.602-05:00I most always slip out of large parties or events ...I most always slip out of large parties or events but feel guilty for doing so. I love your post, gives me permission and I totally agree. I hate the long good byes. I also like the followup "thank you". Kimmielovesparishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16259476867320752006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-23993219257425964282013-11-08T16:34:04.416-05:002013-11-08T16:34:04.416-05:00ahh i cannot leave a party without saying goodbye ...ahh i cannot leave a party without saying goodbye and thanks! but i personally like to keep the goodbye short and non-distracting, and i follow up with an email the next day. but i totally hear you about feeling like you're saying goodbye to everyone at your own party and not being able to enjoy just partying it up!? perhaps it's one of the wish-we-didn't-have-to-but-have-to jobs of the hostess, to know you'll be spending a while both greeting and saying bye to people that we have to suck up ... people just don't want to seem impolite by fading like a party ghost out the door. Coco Cake Landhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00623934740303666925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-33418361128697531352013-11-08T14:01:52.501-05:002013-11-08T14:01:52.501-05:00I can't believe this is even up for debate!
...I can't believe this is even up for debate! <br /><br />You might find it tiresome but I think it's bad manners to leave without saying thanks and goodbye to your host. Simple as that. Phillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10353042947082334542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-41522948459294327632013-11-08T09:27:54.985-05:002013-11-08T09:27:54.985-05:00This suggestion is absolutely mortifying to me. A...This suggestion is absolutely mortifying to me. As someone who's hosted many parties, I would totally notice and never forgive my friends for just "slipping out." Not to say that goodbyes need to be drawn out and said to every single person left at the party, but I think a quick "thank you I had a lovely time" to the host is necessary and expected.<br /><br />I feel like the mere suggestion of this kind of disappearance being acceptable reflects the diminishing courtesies and general good manners in the digital age.Joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13471835796229770772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28060897.post-82198539858279331302013-11-07T22:58:23.824-05:002013-11-07T22:58:23.824-05:00I love slipping out the door! I love slipping out the door! Lucie Boshierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05589656451253269412noreply@blogger.com