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Thursday, March 13, 2014

What's your spiritual age?

This morning, I read a fascinating article by a mother who spent a year in Paris, hoping it would transform her two young sons into model citizens. The entire article was gripping (needless to say, things did not go as planned), but this line jumped out:

Once, when I was eight or nine, [my mother] told me her theory that everyone had two ages, an actual age and a spiritual age. “For example,” she said, “I’m always going to feel seventeen.” She glanced at me through cigarette smoke. “And you’re always going to feel 40.”

How old are you (truly), and what's your spiritual age? For some reason, I always secretly think I’m 27. Three-year-old Toby acts like a 15-year-old guy in his high school theatre program, and Anton is an 80-year-old trapped in a chubby baby body.
(That's Anton:)

P.S. Articles club, and why French kids eat everything.

(Thanks, Devin. Top photo by Keri Herer, and bottom photo from WHMS)

102 comments:

Dani said...

This is fascinating! I'm tempted to say thirty, although my actual, physical age is really nineteen. I fret about my family, budget everything, shop at mommy-stores, and feel like the best part of the week is settling into bed early with a cozy cup of decaf. Thirty is the ultimate age of fabulous and responsible, where you really come into yourself, so I want to be that forever.

Katrina said...

I also always think I am 27! I have no idea why. I am 29 in real life but this has gone on from before I was 27.

Emily said...

I'm 29 but in my mind I always believe I'm closer to 22. I can never remember how old I actually am! My mom is 62 but says she'll always think of herself as 18!

Emily said...

I'm 29 but in my mind I always believe I'm closer to 22. I can never remember how old I actually am! My mom is 62 but says she'll always think of herself as 18!

R.L. said...

Physical age is 27, but I've always felt 17. Though I probably act like I'm in my 40s.

Christine said...

I think I'm somewhere around 27 too. I'm actually 35 this year!

M.M. said...

There's part of me that still feels 12 -- or maybe I just want to think like I did when I was 12. Ha, not because of being a kid, but the fact I was so confident in myself, I wasn't really interested in boys yet, so that didn't cloud my thoughts (or judgement!), and I really wasn't skewed by the gender binary system yet. However -- now at 29, I almost feel like I've come full circle to being 12 -- I'm engaged (so got that crazy boy period out of my life), am aware of the gender binary and continue to fight against it in my own thoughts and actions (no bossy talk for me!), and I'm fully confident in my decisions again. So maybe I'm hitting my real spiritual age this year. :)

Carrie said...

I'm 26 but whenever people ask me how old I am I always want to say 21. So I guess that must be it. It has nothing to do with drinking or partying or anything like that (I'm very straight and narrow) but apparently spiritually 21.

Mary Schaubert said...

I love this! Seems very true. I always feel 30, but I'm 25. I wanted to get married & have babies way earlier than all of my friends - and I've always had more adult taste in clothing & home decor. I've really never even minded getting older - and at work, I keep my age hidden unless someone specifically asks!

Caitlin Ashley said...

This made me giggle, and I totally agree.

Gina said...

I loved the article and I also love your question... I'm 22 but my spiritual age is 30 or more. I've always been way more mature than my same-aged friends, even more mature than people who is ten y.o. than me. I get along very well with people who is forty or fifty too, except my mom, who is 53 but 15 in spirit... which is pretty confusing and not really my idea about what parenting should be.

Ellie said...

As a little girl people would often comment that I was 3 going on 15, or 13 going on 30. Now I'm 25, but I've always felt more 28-30. I'm especially curious about how I'll feel when I'm past that age.

Great post!

Joanna Goddard said...

my mom always says she's feel much younger, too, and can't believe she looks in the mirror and sees an older woman.

Melissa Tedesco said...

I'm not quite sure how to figure this out, but I've been thinking about this very idea lately and might have come up with a way... Growing up, I always thought I was really mature and had things together, but at some point in the last few years, I've realized that I no longer consider myself mature when compared to my age... so maybe I have physically passed my spiritual age.

Sarah said...

I'm 30, have always felt & said I'm 80!

Aja Lake said...

At 33, I still think every person that looks the least bit over 20 is older than me. Spiritually, I'm about 23.

Ace has 19-years-old written all over him, but baby Beau appears to be quite the wise lady.

Kendriana said...

My spiritual age is 30. I'm 22 now, I'll be 23 in less than a month and spiritually I remember being 30 or 31 since I was 6. As I get older my spiritual age will probably become younger ;).

mamamgeni.com said...

Whoah, wait - WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS ARE THOSE? They are so beautiful!!!!!

Lee Taylor-Penn said...

My best friend tells me I dress like a "hip mom," even though I have no children! I also love my bedtime of 10 pm, and I'm drawn to friendships with women in their early-mid 30's. I'm 27, but I think my spiritual age is probably 32 or 33.

Mallory said...

I've never thought about this before! I was born 27 years ago, and I am pretty certain my spiritual age is 30. I agree with the first commenter, Dani, that 30 feels grown up enough to worry about budgets and family life and responsibility, but still young enough for it to be okay to not have it all figured out yet. Funny that they're so close in years (maybe that's why it took me a minute to figure this one out!).

Jenna | je na sais quoi said...

Kari herer is my wedding photographer! Love that you shared one of her photos :)

emy said...

I love this! My husband has always said I'm like an 8-year-old boy and 80-year-old woman all at once. Luckily he finds this endearing. (On a side note... Have you ever seen that Conan interview with Aubrey Plaza where she says she can't wait to be old? I totally get that.)

June said...

I started to forget how old I was when I was about 25. What is my "spiritual age"? I have no idea!

I really enjoyed the article, it was very well written.

Making it Anywhere said...

Wow, I'm surprised at how young your average reader seems to be!I'm 27, and I think I'll stay 27. When I was younger my friends always said I looked older, but now that I'm in the "grown-up" world, I get a really hard time because I look so young, I sort of look perpetually 20. Until I thought about it I would have said my spiritual age is 24- because that's automatically what comes to mind when I am asked. But 27 is really great... 30 is too scary, i wont enjoy that... so I think I'll just hang out at 27 until people start telling me a look old!

Kari said...

I am going to just love hearing about, and seeing, Anton as he grows up!

Amy said...

That article by Danzy Senna was fantastic. I laughed out loud ~ and admit that I have dreamed of doing something similar for my sabbatical period on the horizon. Similarly, I have read all the books to which she referred. Bless all our hearts, we just want to be the best possible moms and do the best possible jobs we can!

Sharita Hyppolite said...

Lol! Jo thanks for the good laugh this cold Thurs. Poor chubby Anton. Anyway, Im in my thirties and believe it or not I believe I'm in a zone now physically and spiritually. It makes sense to me though. Pretty awesome. Thanks for the post Jo!!

Joanna Goddard said...

emy, no but it sounds great! going to look it up:)

Joanna Goddard said...

june, i know! she's such a great writer.

Joanna Goddard said...

mamamgeni, i think they're roses? i know next to nothing about flowers:)

Kate said...

HAHA! I loved this post! It's so true. I will always be perpetually 25 I think (actually 36 now). It's funny how you view your boys, but I wonder what they will think the same thing of themselves in time.

Samantha said...

Such an interesting article! I never think of an exact age, but always feel like I am 3 years older than I really am...maybe one day it will start going down!

Kate Harrop said...

i'm 19 but i think i'm somewhere in my 20s or 30s. i don't know, i'll let you know when it feels right ;)

Allyson said...

what a delight to see your link to this article...i read it a few months back and shared with my mom too. i found it so touching. i'm definitely an 80 year old, so anton and i could be friends! i'm apparently 31 otherwise :)

p.s. i love your blog.

sumslay said...

I was always an old spirit (although, sometimes I feel like I'm regressing, haha). I think that's why I like my 30's so much - I don't have to make excuses for staying in on the weekends or being oddly responsible. I was just always meant to be old! :D

themessyjessy.com said...

Hm, I think I'm in my 30s spiritually, but I'm really 24. I'd much prefer hanging out with babies at home than going out to bars.

Kellie P. said...

I have felt 23 for 7 years now. And my 5-month-old is really a 35-year-old no-nonsense businesswoman haha.

Amy Lauree said...

I'm actually 27 but I seem to think, feel and act like I'm 19 I think. Sort of responsible and grown up but still a bit of a teenager.

MeghanTopjian said...

I'm 30 and feel 21... I don't know how I ended up 30 so fast! My little Nate is just like Anton. :) And old soul - always observing.

Maywyn Studio said...

Do any old people read blogs? 29, 27, 30...Am I even suppose to be here?
I think to myself, I'm not much (senses vs. awareness) different than I was at eighteen. But, if I looked like this when I was eighteen, then I'd still be screaming I was kidnapped by aliens.
I'm good with being old, and without a gap between my spirit and age.

hardcoversandheroines.com said...

I'm 26 but I've always felt about 33. I'm very curious to see if something crazy happens when the two ages match up. I also wonder if I will turn 33 and be like, actually this is nothing like I imagined this would feel.

emily sandall said...

I feel and have always felt like I'm around 43 or so, even though I'm only half as old and have much more to see and do!

emily sandall said...

I feel and have always felt like I'm around 43 or so, even though I'm only half as old and have much more to see and do!

Sarah Shearing said...

I feel 15! I'm still kinda dorky, playful and a little sensitine. I also really get excited about arts and craft projects and making things :)

Siren Jane said...

In my mind I tend to think I am still 27. Maybe because I don't want to believe I am 34. Or maybe I don't think I'm like most 34 yr olds. Whatever that means:) I will say though that this year is the first year I have looked in the mirror and noticed visible signs of aging and I'm trying with all my might to accept and embrace it. :)

Megan @ Siren Jane

Ange said...

I'm 23 but most of my good friends are in their 30's and feel far more comfortable with them then friends my age. I like a nice dinner, a good glass of wine and hit the sack by midnight. Unlike my early 20's friends who enjoy the late night party scene. I feel 40 and always have.

Celeste Muller said...

To the person who asked about the flowers, they are a type of garden rose. Although there are a million different types so unfortunately I wouldn't be able to tell you the exact type.

dobrya said...

I think it's so lovely that her mother could recognize that old soul in her child at 8! I think too many people see their children as always being little. I have always felt like I'm a little over 30…but now that I'm close to 30 I'm finding it's different than I expected, in a good way! :)

Chloe said...

I'm 18 but somedays I act like I'm 13 and others I act like I'm 35. I guess as I get older I'll figure out my spiritual age :)
xox
chloe
http://popcosmo.com

fleur_delicious said...

Those are garden roses! Blooms like this are called "cupped" (cupped roses and chalice-shaped blooms are my favorites, aren't they pretty?). Many of the classic English roses developed by botanist David Austin have this quality (and beautiful scents, to boot!), if you want to grow some of your own. =)

I'm 33, but I've found in the past few years that I'm more comfortable socializing with people in their 50s and 60s. I don't know why that is!

Vicsta said...

This idea has fascinated me for the past few years, and I was hoping you might write an article on it.
I'm 31, with 3 kids, and often can't believe that I really am that age. I feel 25. I often ask people 'how old do you feel', and most often the reply is 25-30, though my Mother-in-law says 21. I think as I've gotten older, I've gained more knowledge and experience, but still feel young. It's such and interesting topic. And also reminds me of the film with Kate Hudson, The Skeleton Key.

Alyssa said...

What an interesting article! It's funny, when I was growing up my mom would tell me that I acted like a 35-year-old. Now, as a 26-year-old, I don't think that's holding up as well. Whenever someone asks me how old I am now, I always say 23 and then have to awkwardly correct myself.

Joanna Goddard said...

thanks, fleur_delicious!!

Ashley and Katie said...

Thank you for sharing that article, it was fascinating! Good to know moving to Paris won't solve all problems, as I had thought after reading "Bringing Up Bebe"... I would be interested to know what happens when French families uproot and move to the states... future post? :-)

Meg said...

Oh, I thought I was the only one who felt this! Haha, what a nice surprise to know it's not just me. I am 28 right now, but really, I've been 54 since I was 8.

Ashleigh Blatt said...

This is great and so true! I always say my 3yo is going on 30 and my 2 yo is going on 12... you know that stage when she is beginning to hate mom and roll her eyes at me!

Colleen said...

I would have to say I am about 25. My dad always said when I was kid I was like a 30-year-old in a kid's body. I never did the crazy stuff my friends did when we were teenagers, I always did the right thing, and let my conscience talk me out of a lot of things. I'll be 31 in July, so I think 25 sounds right for me.

LPC said...

I'm 57 and oddly, I feel 57. I think I just revise my perception of ages as I reach them:).

Film as a Subversive Art said...

Gee! I was JUST thinking about it right before I opened the page! I am almost 28 and totally feel like I was 12! :D

Dellah said...

Something magical must have happened when we were all 27, because at 32 I agree w/ feeling that age even though most people think because of my good genes I look 18. I'll take it! After having two intestinal resections {one 14 yrs ago and one almost 2 months ago} and two rambunctious monsters {9 years ago and 3 years ago} physically I feel better than ever! Great article & post will need to share!

Dellah said...

Something magical must have happened when we were all 27, because at 32 I agree w/ feeling that age even though most people think because of my good genes I look 18. I'll take it! After having two intestinal resections {one 14 yrs ago and one almost 2 months ago} and two rambunctious monsters {9 years ago and 3 years ago} physically I feel better than ever! Great article & post will need to share!

Dellah said...

Something magical must have happened when we were all 27, because at 32 I agree w/ feeling that age even though most people think because of my good genes I look 18. I'll take it! After having two intestinal resections {one 14 yrs ago and one almost 2 months ago} and two rambunctious monsters {9 years ago and 3 years ago} physically I feel better than ever! Great article & post will need to share!

Katerina said...

LOVED the article. Thank you for posting it. I had a good laugh over her mother throwing the shoe and shouting "I can't take it anymore!" Haha, brings back memories.

Amy P said...

I've always thought that I'll feel the most 'me' when I'm in my mid-30s (I'm currently 26). I've never been particularly good at being young! Although I really do appreciate my health and youth.
I have to say, I thought there'd be a quiz - who can resist a scientifically-unsound quiz that tells us our spiritual age?! ;)

madeline said...

I am 26 but I have two kids so I feel much, much older! Most of my friends are closer to 40 now. It's actually a weird/lonely place to be in because I don't relate to people my age (because they don't have kids and they can do whatever the want) and I don't fully relate to older women because they own homes and don't have to live paycheck to paycheck!

madeline said...

I am 26 but I have two kids so I feel much, much older! Most of my friends are closer to 40 now. It's actually a weird/lonely place to be in because I don't relate to people my age (because they don't have kids and they can do whatever the want) and I don't fully relate to older women because they own homes and don't have to live paycheck to paycheck!

Amanda Scott said...

I found the article a little frustrating...I, too, moved to Paris last year with my then 7 year old son, who spoke no French. We enrolled him in a local French school, and it was fine! Yes, he struggled a bit in the first few days, but we approached the situation with a positive attitude, and two years on, he is speaking French with a solid group of French schoolmates. I don't agree with the cult of French superiority that one finds in books like "Bringing up Bebe" - I think most of the supposed "cultural differences" are just a matter of teaching kids manners and avoiding places like her "Kumbaya Preschool" - if you mollycoddle kids to that extent, they will never learn to persevere. Sometimes things aren't always perfect and easy, but it doesn't mean you should give up. Anyway. My 2 cents.

Rachele Alpine said...

I love this! I've never thought about it, but now that you bring it up...

I'm 35 but think a will always have a bit of arrested development and feel like I'm 16. I'm a Young Adult novelist, so I spend a lot of time in the world of teenagers when I'm writing!

www.rachelealpine.com

Caroline said...

This has always been my theory too!! I think I'm about 8 -- still get that childlike excitement about things, always curious, eternally optimistic, and love creating things! I also say my fiancé is about twelve or thirteen for many of the same reasons, I just think boys hit those qualities a little later than girls :)

Cassie {Home and Sass} said...

GREAT article!!! When it ended, I was wanting more!!! When does the book come out?? :)

Bethan Mills said...

I'm 18 but I feel like I spend my life being pissed off at everything about people my own age, so maybe my 'spiritual age' is older? Perhaps 25? However, I also have a soul woven of immaturity so who knows. Maybe it fluctuates.

liz @ btb said...

I'm thinking 27. I always laugh when people say they still feel 18-21. I say "go hang out with a bunch of 18 years olds and you'll change your mind!"

liz @ btb said...

Oh! And I'm 29. But was placed a year ahead in school, so all of my friends turned 30 when I turned 29. So I oddly feel like I'm already 30.I guess it's good prep for when I actually do turn the big 3-0!

girlseeksplace said...

This is really interesting. I'm 31, but feel much older. There's a girl in my journalism class who always comes in listening to music, but she has it so loud everyone can hear it through her headphones. It's super annoying.

Joanna Goddard said...

ashley and katie, yes! absolutely—we'll be talking to parents from other countries who moved to the US for our next series of "parenting around the world." really looking forward!!

Joanna Goddard said...

amanda, i agree. i had some issues with the article....would be interesting for an articles club:)

Rachel said...

What a beautifully written article. Most days I believe I'm a six year old trapped in a twenty-six year old's body.

Schenck catherine said...

Well, I'm one of the old readers, everyone here is so young!
When I was 15, I remember wishing I was old, like 60 or 65!! I had no patience for teenage years. Still, I loved my 20s and 30s but I'not so much enjoying my 40s. Once again, I can't wait to get old! Weird, right?

LPC said...

The 40s can be hard. The 50s are much better, in my experience.

Jayni said...

I've always felt 27! Even when I was 5 or 17. "27" was even my youth soccer number because I loved it. Now that I am 30 I feel like this the first decade where I'm "winging" it, if you know what I mean. I'm still very responsible, but this decade feels like anything can happen - I'm writing it from scratch - whereas my 20s felt more natural and comfortable. Strange to feel that way when externally I've become more established in my career, family and social circles.

Olithée said...

I am 70 when it comes to health, life and death. I am 30 the rest of the time, having dreams trying to pursue them but still playing it smart, walking on sidewalks. I like being 30 (I am turning 29 in a month)

Love ur blog, always, ALWAYS great inspiration

courtney said...

What fun! I've always felt older - but not too old. I think I'd go with 35. My 7 year old is a total 7 year old and my 18 month old wants to be the 7 year old! :)

aly said...

When I was little my friends and I told my dad he was an honorary 12 year old, and to this day he is still very proud to be 12.

jenny said...

I've always felt 30, or couldn't wait to turn 30. I'm 32 now and I definitely feel like I stopped aging two years ago (in a good way).

Liz said...

I'm 33, and I always feel like I'm eternally 27--but I wonder whether, as I get older, that will change? I'm so enjoying my early thirties that I can see myself wanting to stay here for awhile.

Design Scouting said...

PS I adored this. I think my spiritual age is 80. HA! I'm an old lady on the inside.

Amanda said...

So interesting, but so true! For a a long time, I have felt like I will forever be 26 to myself. Old enough to be a legal adult, but not quite a full-fledged grown up and 100% responsible.

bisbee said...

Wow...reading these comments makes me feel old! I am old...chronologically (I'll be 63 in May and I'm a grandmother), but I don't think I'm old in spirit! I always think my brain is stuck in my 20's...and it's shocking that my children are 39 and 36!

Of course, thinking young is a good thing!

mamamgeni.com said...

Thanks Joanna & Celeste! They look like a cross between a peonie and a rose - crazy beautiful!

Jess said...

I've just turned 35 and found it a tough one however it seems lots of your readers want to be 35 so i'ld better "man up" (as my husband says) and embrace and enjoy it!

domonique matthews said...

This is so amazing. My very dear friend and I had this conversation about 16 years ago and it has always stuck with me!!! She is 8 years older than I am and was 32 at the time, I was 24. She said my age was definitely 32 and that's why we were such close friends despite her being married with a child and me single,just entering grad school. We also joked about how an ex boyfriend of mine was they way he was at 26, he was really 18 and always would be!! Love this Joanna. I couldn't agree more. In fact now that I'm 41, I feel this is why my 40s have been so tough on me, my mind and body say I'm still 32!! xxx

pinklegwarmers said...

My physical age is 38 but I have always felt around 7 or 8 years younger than I actually am. After going through some family trauma and having a baby last year though, I feel my spiritual age catching up with my physical age. But only by a few years.

Kayla said...

My physical age is 24, but people often think I'm 18-20. Proud owner of a baby face.

However, I had a fascinating conversation with a woman from Israel the other night.

She was visiting Maine and we got to talking about philosophy and spirituality (as one does with a bartender when visiting somewhere new) and at one point she stopped our conversation, gave me a once over and said, "you are so smart to be so young."

I'd like to think my spiritual age is older than my physical age, but I can't put a number on it just yet.

wabisabiwife.com said...

Love this! I have always felt older than my age, even today as I approach the big 50. My mother told me when I was 7 that she trusted me to always do the right thing, make the right choice, and to be sensible, because that was just who I was. I felt very old when she said that to me....

Jessica Gray said...

I've always felt 27, too! The weird thing is, I'm 27 now, so I guess I'm at my true age? I kind of thought it would feel magical somehow, but it just feels normal.

jennifer squires said...

I'm spiritually 25 and I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels two ages!

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jagdish said...

I'm morally 28 and I'm glad to perceive sound I'm not the only one who feel two ages!

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