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Wednesday, October 09, 2013

New York sunsets save the day.

Our new neighborhood faces the Hudson River. This means that it's extra cold and windy in the winter (we've been warned by all our neighbors!), and we're a bit farther from restaurants and stores, but the flip side is that the evenings are so, so beautiful.

Yesterday we had a pretty stressful day—Anton wasn't eating, I was exhausted from never sleeping (not to be such a broken record about it!)—and, while Alex took Toby to Shake Shack, my plan was to take Anton for a walk, call my mom and burst into tears. But when we got outside, we saw this sunset and everything felt better. The fresh air, the pink sky, the sound of water lapping. Thank you, New York, sometimes you really come through in the clutch.
(My little walking buddy)

P.S. Hope I don't sound like such a psycho all the time! These early baby months are no joke:)

217 comments:

1 – 200 of 217   Newer›   Newest»
Erin said...

You do not sound remotely like a psycho. You sound very tired, which is only perfectly reasonable at this point. New mamas (having been one recently and about to be one again) have to try to remember to be as gentle with themselves as they are with their little ones. You're doing great!

And I can just feel the bracing fresh air and hear the water lapping in those pics - they're so beautiful - thanks for sharing!!

Ashley Cassandra Ford said...

You don't sound like a psycho, you sound REAL. Thanks for giving those of us who aren't mothers (yet) a look at what's really going on in the hearts and minds of young moms. Being honest changes lives, Joanna. Thank you.

Natalie S. said...

Hang in there Joanna!! My son never slept at all the first 4-5 months of his life (only slightly exaggerating). It was SO hard and I am sure it's even harder for you juggling two little ones and a recent move. You just don't feel like yourself on such little sleep. I am praying it gets easier for you soon and admire how you are still managing to keep your blog so interesting and readable all in the midst of it ;)

jm said...

Beaituful pictures and look at that little face! Thanks so much for sharing.

Stacey - Posh in Progress said...

Wow, gorgeous photos! I still get stressed when my 11-month old isn't eating, despite my best efforts. But then I remember that he'll eat when he's hungry/ready.

Sara M said...

Not at all like a psycho, you sound simply like a mama with a new baby. It's ok! Hang in there, be gentle with yourself, and try to rest whenever you can. It'll get better.

Carol said...

I don't feel you talk about not sleeping much!! My 5 month old is now going through sleep training with Daddy! I have moved out of the room (so I will not go to him every cry I hear...I hate letting him cry to learn to put himself back to sleep !) and Daddy is doing an awesome job with him. Hey, your a momma of a new baby,who cares if you did sound like a broken record anyway right?!!

Ashley said...

Those are gorgeous!!! The new-mom tiredness is so brutal and debilitating. It's so unfair that the tiredness creates such a fog around the precious, fleeting newborn stage. I have four boys and always say the newborn stage is the best and worst of times. Do whatever you need to to survive. For me that meant lots of tv for my older kids and lots of drive-thrus for lunch and dinner. You'll feel normal soon!

Ashley said...

Those are gorgeous!!! The new-mom tiredness is so brutal and debilitating. It's so unfair that the tiredness creates such a fog around the precious, fleeting newborn stage. I have four boys and always say the newborn stage is the best and worst of times. Do whatever you need to to survive. For me that meant lots of tv for my older kids and lots of drive-thrus for lunch and dinner. You'll feel normal soon!

E. Hartman said...

Thanks for your honesty! The early baby months are soooo tough. My second child is almost 4 weeks old. Whew! You make me feel less alone :)

Sarah Spitz said...

So true. I have a day on which I could need a New York sunset;-)

Love from oh-so-rainy Germany,
Bambi

http://lasagnolove.blogspot.de/

Lauri Anderson Alford said...

The hardest three months of my life. I kept telling myself, "It's not personal. He's just a baby. It's not personal. He's just a baby." Hang in there!

Lilia said...

You don't sound like a psycho. You sound human and that is something great to sense in a blog author.

Laura said...

You sound nothing like psycho. I think women should be completely honest with each other about how tough the first months of a baby's life are. When I had my little one, I was blindsided. It wasn't until after I was a mother that my mom friends stopped glossing over things and admitted how hard it was. I could have used that information earlier, you know?

Georgia Christakis said...

You don't sound like a psycho, Jo! You sound like a new Mom. I hope you get some rest. xx

Griggs said...

Thank you for being honest. Its too easy to assume everyone is managing Life so much better than you are. Its the posts like these that make me love the handful of blogs I read so much. You are being real, not a psycho. Its hard. Period. Good for you for admitting it and getting through. (I, too, rely on walks and crying to mom on the phone. Moms are the best!)

Lauren Gabrielle said...

I think it shows a lot about your character to share such personal thoughts with us! You are so strong and beautiful, just remember we are all on your side. :)

Emily said...

I feel like I'M a broken record- glad to hear I'm not alone! I am constantly interrogating friends, neighbors, and random moms at the grocery store about their kids' sleep. I don't want to be the heartless dictator who let's her son scream it out but I don't want to be the softie who can't handle his crying either. It's encouraging to feel that this is normal and to be expected. Preventing sleeping is a form of torture in some countries... I truly believe moms need to talk about it MORE and encourage each other!

toandfromage.com said...

Yesterday, my husband and I were making dinner when we noticed from the kitchen window how striking the sunset was. We grabbed the camera and dashed up to our building's rooftop deck to watch. Other people began to appear as well, saying they'd noticed the colors from their windows. Glad it also brought a little joy to your day.

Josephine said...

Respect. Both my sons were frequent night walkers for the first 8 months of their lives. I was a basket case during those times. I feel your pain. Sending a massive virtual hug. Better times are. Just round the corner.

risewiththebirds.com said...

Hot damn, those photos are awesome!

lindskov said...

I love your comment about having a planned "good cry" with your mom. I've totally done that too! Hope you got the tears out eventually, it always feels go to let 'em flow once in awhile. You are a star mom and it will get better!!

gina said...

My first is 7 months and I still shiver thinking about the first few weeks/months until he began sleeping (i don't mean the technical 6 hrs! i needed my bebe to make it 10-12 hrs!). Take it one day at a time, and cry as much as you can. The release is sometimes the only thing that provides relief. Hang in there!

Jackie {York Avenue} said...

I love how you said "my plan was to call my mom and burst into tears." That made me giggle. I can relate, I've definitely called my mom with that plan in the back of my mind. Thank god for moms! PS-Anton is SO adorable!

Diana McNeill said...

life is so crazy it's alright to feel psycho.

Jo said...

I am always relieved to hear other mothers share how tough the first year can sometimes be because it appeared to me at the time that everyone else's baby slept and ate and my second beloved son didn't sleep (no naps in the day and no longer than 1.5 hours at night) or eat properly till 10 months. Of course, that's just some babies for you. However, although we kept telling each other that we were so lucky to have him and so lucky he was healthy and that we really know this to be true and feel so blessed, the lack of sleep almost KILLED US. And we almost killed each other at times too. Plus - I have to be totally honest - sometimes I begged my husband to take him away otherwise I feared I would throw him out of the window just to get rid of the screaming (colic). This was all down to lack of sleep. It can make everything black and full of despair (and "brutal" and "debilitating" as Ashley describes above).
You never sound like a psycho to me either. (It's always the people that never think they sound like psychos, that probably are the psychos!).
It passes. So be kind to yourself even if you feel a ton of guilt about a ton of things (like I did). Just be really really kind to yourself. And write whatever you need to write. Because as others have stated here, it makes us all feel so much less alone.

PS I sent you a picture of my son and our Swedish Christmas chimes once and you were kind enough to email me back. I always think of you and and your boys and send my most loving thoughts stateside.

redweather said...

Seconded! I don't come here for perfection, I come here for something real, charming, and sincere. Thanks for always delivering in spades. Take care of yourself - wishing you a little more sleep tonight....

Sheri said...

Hang in there, Joanna! You're a star mother and have created such an honest, beautiful space here on your blog. I'm grateful for you!

stefynae said...

Yes yes yes to this. I wish more people would talk about the first few months of motherhood openly and honestly. It was so hard on me. I nearly lost my life.

Many big, comforting hugs to you, Joanna. You are an inspiration to us all and we love sharing in your journey.

nonnyw said...

first months are hell, no matter how deeply you love your little one. hang in there. one day at a time. you're doing an amazing job and are clearly a wonderful mama. it will never be this hard again!

stephanie said...

I have really appreciated your honesty during this time in your life because I am right there with you. I always feel like I have the only baby who refuses to sleep. I feel all I say is, "I am so tired," over and over again. So thank you for reminding me I am not the only one.

Ali said...

So pretty! I love how you try to always find the good in things. The first couple of months are rough with a newborn. I just had my second boy two months ago so I know how you're feeling, but I try to remember that it will get easier and when it does I will be sad they aren't so little anymore:)

Grace Beekman said...

Gorgeous! Keep up the good mom work! That's gotta be the toughest yet best job in the universe. :)

http://sometimesgracefully.com

sakisister said...

Refreshing to hear someone being honest about how hard it is in those early days. All good...

Jesse said...

you don't sound psycho at all! i can't count how many times i called my mom crying after having my son, and still to do for that matter. you should still call your mom, i bet she says just the right thing to help. hang in there!!

http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2013/10/work-outfit-3.html

Nerissa said...

Haven't time to read other comments because I am right there with you-- I have a super fussy 7 week old myself-- you are not broken record! I thought the second baby was supposed to be easier! [have a 3 yr old as well]. Thanks for making me smile re "plan." My plan tonight is to have a glass of wine and walk/rock a fussy baby for hours...

J and H from Beyond The Stoop said...

the sunset last night WAS indeed a gorgeous one!! want to see what your 'hood looked like from my 'hood? see here for the manhattan view from jersey city:
http://www.beyondthestoop.com/2013/10/finding-time.html

Lisa Gordon said...

and for the record... it's also totally okay to call mom and burst into tears... perfectly acceptable.... :-)

growMama said...

Those early months can be so hard. That not sleeping thing...sheesh, I hear you...my boy has never been a great sleeper. A change of scene, and being near the water helps so much doesn't it? We live near a wild surf beach in New Zealand and when it seemed too hard I would pack us up and decamp down to the beach. Hang in there.

M.M. said...

I love how honest your posts are about the early months. While kids are only on the horizon for me, for some reason your honesty makes it seem more manageable, like I can really see myself with kids and still be me, the real me -- who cries on the phone to her mom. :)

Mekhala said...

hang in there, Joanna! The early months are never easy! :)

Gaby said...

no joke indeed! clementine woke us up at 4 am this morning ready to start the day. i wanted to cry.

Amanda Simwaka said...

You definitely don't sound like a psycho! I don't feel like you've been complaining much at all! I'm about to have my first in January and I hope that I am as cheerful as you seem to be when I am tired. :)

Amanda Simwaka said...

You definitely don't sound like a psycho! I don't feel like you've been complaining much at all! I'm about to have my first in January and I hope that I am as cheerful as you seem to be when I am tired. :)

Tricia said...

Thank goodness for those little glimpses of beauty and grace; they really can save the day. I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old and I feel completely out of it about 80% of the time (and mostly out of it the rest of the time). You are not alone.

Jenna Lombardi said...

you are not psycho! you are doing great. nights with sleep will come. toby and anton adore you! you are their precious, beautiful, one and only mama! stay genuine xoxo

Kirby Kurtz said...

Oh, you poor thing. It is SO HARD! You aren't a psycho. We all have our own difficulties with motherhood. I had to go back to work when mine was 6 weeks. I'm a resident, and the day I got back they suprised me and said I was working 24 hours the next day. I felt like quitting. But now she's 18 months and understands our schedule. I cherish every moment with her, but it's so overwhelming. I hear you, it's tough

Carmen said...

Hi Joanna, you are so brave for telling the truth; my daugther is 18 months old and the first month was so hard, but nobody tell me that it was normal, I feel
like a very bad mother!!! sorry about my english and kisses from Madrid(Spain).

D+I+A said...

You sound totally normal! How stressful the lack of sleep can be. You come across as a very compassionate person on your blog, so remember to show some compassion to yourself! I love what Anne Lamott says in Operating Instructions: treat yourself like a beloved relative, with lots of kindness and lots of little treats.

Carmen said...

Hi Joanna, you are so brave for telling the truth; my daugther is 18 months old and the first month was so hard, but nobody tell me that it was normal, I feel
like a very bad mother!!! sorry about my english and kisses from Madrid(Spain).

LPC said...

When my daughter wouldn't nurse it was always an ear infection.

I hope your little guy is back on track, and that you get a nap.

xoxox

Annaslammo said...

Joanna, it's actually refreshing to hear you say that it's hard. My (2nd) little one is 4 months old and I honestly sometimes feel like the only person whose baby doesn't sleep. I cried the other day when I read on FB that someone I know with a similar aged baby was going out to dinner. Like, HOW?! Anyway, hang in there! that's what I tell myself. I know it gets easier. Although 4 year old tantrums are also pretty challenging!

Debbie Lynne Malison said...

Never apologize for being new mom! It is an extremely stressful time. And having two makes it that much more. Listen to your gut when it comes to your kids. It is always right!

Annaslammo said...

Joanna, it's actually refreshing to hear you say that it's hard. My (2nd) little one is 4 months old and I honestly sometimes feel like the only person whose baby doesn't sleep. I cried the other day when I read on FB that someone I know with a similar aged baby was going out to dinner. Like, HOW?! Anyway, hang in there! that's what I tell myself. I know it gets easier. Although 4 year old tantrums are also pretty challenging!

Charlie Davenport said...

You are not a psycho! It is so hard. I had a baby 10 months ago & I thought I was going crazy the first 3 months from not sleeping. I felt weepy & exhausted all the time. Now, she is teething so not much sleep again, but I am getting the hang of it now. Hope it get easier with Anton. Best Wishes :)

Maria said...

This video never fails to give my husband and me encouragement during trying times (and it's impossible not to smile while watching it):

http://youtu.be/6ox6eX2wG3Y

Michelle Panting said...

Loved seeing these pics on your Instagram. What a beautiful time of a year. You have a great view!

http://www.fullbellywornsoles.com

Maja Rabjerg said...

I've followed your blog for quite some time now and I think it's time to say thank you!
I'm a 21 year old girl from Denmark, who loves New York. I've lived in the city for 7 months last year, but I had to go back to Denmark to finish college.
Now to the thank you. Thanks for all the nice, funny and heartwarming blog posts. I love to read about New York, your everyday life and your lovely boys.
Keep up the good work!
- Maja Rabjerg

Darwingirl said...

I am right there with you my newest addition 12 days old has been on a sleep strike and my nipples are suffering since I just keep feeding him hoping it will eventually work to put him asleep!

Darwingirl said...

I am right there with you my newest addition 12 days old has been on a sleep strike and my nipples are suffering since I just keep feeding him hoping it will eventually work to put him asleep!

suzy said...

I think i cried for the first 4 months straight!!! lol.....we mummas do it tough though we are the strongest living creature on this planet! its easy to say, he wont starve, though with our emotions on high new mummas let everything get to us....know your not alone and know he'll eat again soon ;)

mc+p said...

Thank you so much for this post.

Although my daughter just turned one and things have gotten significantly easier, I still have a touch of ptsd from the early months. They were just so hard.

On top of sleep deprivation I had a huge struggle with breastfeeding (a heartbreak after being such a fan of Marvelous Kiddo, etc.) I ended up EP-ing which is borderline insane.

I lost my mother several years ago to cancer, but my husband's mother died just two days after our daughter was born. We have no mothers to soothe our worries (let alone watch the baby for a couple of hours!)

At this time I can't fathom having two. Many say it's easier the second time, but from my observations it seems exponentially more complicated! Please keep us posted on what it is like.

Sending you love and strength. "It's just a phase" is a good mantra.

Julie Taylor said...

It's awful, those first months. Awful awful awful awful! I am not a gooshy baby person, so even worse for me! My mom had 6, and told me it is basically impossible to even get on a loose schedule or routine until between 3-6 months so I let that be my excuse to just hang loose and try to survive day to day. My oldest did not sleep a 5 hour stretch until eleven months. Eleven. Months. (younger one did not do much better.) Oldest one is 8 now and I still feel like I have PTSD from the sleep deprivation, and many many bouts of recurring plugged ducts and mastitis, phew! Hang tough!

Anitra Sweet said...

I hate the newborn stage! Since I had twins it was never ending! But like you, God always seemed to send something good along my way to cheer me up. :)

Jess littlebunny.etsy.com said...

I just got a new job at a wine store in that same area! (right by shake shack) I've been sneaking away on my breaks to catch glimpses of the river whenever possible. I've also been warned about the winters here, I'm completely dreading it! haha. I hope you start getting some more sleep soon :)

Alexa said...

I hear ya Joanna! I'm sitting here watching the 3rd Curious George episode with my 2.5 year old daughter trying to be quiet as can be so my 3 month old can nap in the other room...it took me 40 minutes to get him down and I'm on pins and needles. I just saw a post on someone's blog that she's at home on a rainy day with the candles lit and she's baking pumpkin muffins and wearing slippers, listening to NPR. I was like...that sounds like Heaven right now! Ha.

Michelle Ash Latham said...

Stunning sunset photos! What I wouldn't give to live in New York to see it more often than our yearly visits :)

www.ahealthymrs.com

jdawg said...

You sound like I felt with a newborn too, but the challenge of it is not coming across all the time if that's what you are wondering! You still seem very in love with your family! Your blog is very balanced. Subject-wise and Tone-wise. I am impressed that you are running such a super cool blog in the midst of that crazy newborn phase. Lack of sleep is such a killer - I lost my mind for sure! I'm glad I wasn't in the spotlight! Well, I hope you get enough sleep to keep you going and, new neighbourhood: keep those sunsets coming! All the best to you, and thanks for your awesome blog, and awesome voice.

Katrina said...

You just sound like any new mum, don't worry. My daughter (who was sleep trained) still gets up to eat once or twice in the night and she's 11 months old! I am tired all the time. There is a really wonderful podcast I listen to called "The Longest Shortest Time" that accompanies a blog and it helps to remind me that we're not alone in this and it will pass (someday).

P.S I would be careful though about sleep training Anton when he's four months old, although many books say it's okay most Drs will tell you to wait until 6 months. They often go through a sleep regression around 4 months and it can be pretty traumatic for the baby and the mama. xoxo

New Mom and the City said...

I have a six week old, so I feel your pain. With my older daughter, I waited until 10 months to sleep train her... I was tired all the time. Just remember, there's a light at the end of the tunnel....

www.newmomandthecity.blogspot.com

Susan M. said...

I'm all teared up just reading this story and seeing Anton's dear little face. My baby is almost 4 months. You'll get there. I know it's hard, but he's healthy, has gained weight beautifully, has a loving family. Try your Grand Canyon therapy? Your advice helped me to think of the bigger picture. (I could share thoughts about sleep and babies but you know most of it already; I got tips from you! - Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block; Sleep Easy Solution..... Every baby is different. You've added more change in your life withe the move. That can't be easy.) My best wishes go out to you!

michelle said...

They are NO JOKE indeed. You hang in there, girl. Screaming at full volume into a couch cushion helps. Also: wine.

Patricia said...

You're amazing and inspiring! And your honesty is appreciated. I think you're really doing a great job :) Patricia

Budget Indulgence said...

You are writing coherent sentences, and communicating with hundreds of readers, which is more than i could say for myself. It's so so hard, but they change so fast. Hang in there!

Lynn said...

You're doing great and I appreciate hearing a bit of reality. Some days are just hard and its helpful to know that you're not alone.

Amy Lauree said...

Those first few months are so hard, especially with a toddler at home too. You can't just nap whenever, and get that extra rest you maybe could have the first time around. It's great to hear about your own personal life and the wonderful and hard things about it! Like everyone else has said in the comments, it will get better, hang in there :)

Alison August said...

Wow. Sometimes the simple things really can help, can't they. Hope each day gets a bit easier:)

Ryann said...

I have never left a comment but couldn't help it with this post. Please don't feel bad for one minute about sharing this. I can remember feeling just that way after our little guy (who is now two) was born. It felt like I had spent months flying to China and back over and over!

It is refreshing to read an honest account of how amazing, exciting, but also tough those first months can be on a mom. You're work is fantastic, it is literally something I look forward to reading each day; and it's clear you've got such darling, sweet boys. All this to say, I think you are doing just great - and I appreciate your willingness to be so real. Thank you!

Akshara Vivekananthan said...

You definitely do not sound like a psycho! Motherhood is a beautiful challenge and it sounds like you're handling it like a wonderful adventure! Those photos look like magic- gorgeous.

Champagne Sunday said...

Ugh, I feel your pain. My girl is 15 months but the first sleepless year still rubs pretty raw. lol. I thought you said the second one was easier!! I'm amazed you've been able to maintain this blog at all the first couple of months. Hopefully you will get some more sleep soon.

Cheers!
www.champagnesundayliving.com

Katie Thisdell said...

How beautiful! Sunrises and sunsets really do make worries fade away. Thanks for sharing :)

Sita Daavettila said...

I would think you crazy if you didn't talk about it! The sleeplessness is crushing. you can go on and on and on about it if you want, and any mother out there will sympothize with you and remind you that it will pass. I was CRUSHED by my little guy waking me up all the time. 3-4 months was absolutely the worst too. I remember the pain vividly, like it was physical. You'll make it through, in the meantime, I think you're amazing for evening finding great posts and still being the master of the blogosphere. You ... are doing an amazing job.

LeeLee said...

Hope you get some rest soon, Joanna! Beautiful photos.

Katie said...

Joanna - I have a 5-month-old and am just now coming out of the fog. You don't sound crazy to me and you will get through this, one day at a time! I have read your blog for years but just today felt prompted to comment, because I called my mom and cried with my baby many times. You're doing great!

Emily said...

I think that Sita summed it up well with the word "crushing". Motherhood can be amazing, but it can also be debilitating at times - especially in the beginning. In the early months after my son was born, I clearly remember many, many times when I thought we'd never make it through - through the screaming, (how can such a tiny little being reach that decibel level?!), the endless cluster feedings, the leftover soreness from labor, and the lack of sleep. I know it seems impossible and endless while you're deep in the depths of it, but remember that it WILL get better.

I loved Ann Lamott's reminder to treat herself like a beloved relative, and I think it's such good advice. I have a very difficult time being gentle with myself (why are we women so hard on ourselves?), but it's so important. You're a rock star, Joanna! Hang in there - I know you can't see it yet, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

H said...

These photos are beautiful, and Anton looks so sweet. You definitely don't sound psycho, and after all it is YOUR blog so you can talk about your lack of sleep and your frustrations and time you want, and I don't think anyone would think twice! I just love seeing pictures of the boys though because they are so adorable!

Rachel Jordan said...

something to cheer you up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-VYYRGZKeyk

almost too much cuteness

Steele Marcoux said...

Hang in there Joanna. You're doing great, and you are not alone. xo

h.jo said...

i agree with much that has been said. those first few months (years?!) are tough and beautiful. the lack of sleep is killer! sending you love from provo, utah :)

Michelle Kendrick Hartney said...

You do not sound psycho at all. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture!! It's so hard being tired and taking care of a baby and a toddler. (I'm doing the same right now too) Give yourself a break! (What a spectacular sunset!)

Katie Truelove said...

Totally understandable! I've *almost* forgotten how tough those first few months are! And it totally depends on each baby's patterns and temperament (just to make things simple;) So glad you experienced such a wonderful gift at the end of a long day<3

Miss Sarah said...

NO JOKE is right! You keep hanging in there!

Miss Sarah said...

NO JOKE is right! You keep hanging in there!

Sherry W. said...

You sound exactly how I felt at this stage! My son is 8 months now, and he recently started night wakings again for a week (teething). I've been reminded of those rough first few months, when we were dealing with breastfeeding issues (he had a severe tongue tie), and it seemed like we would never sleep normally again. I remember quite vividly that I felt like a complete and utter failure at the time. It's no bloody wonder sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture! Meanwhile, the really crazy (psycho?!) part is that now that he's 8 months, and I'm returning to work soon, I find myself feeling nostalgic about those very same first few months when I basically lived and breathed him. Funny how hindsight overlooks the fact that exhaustion basically forced me to live and breathe him, since I had little energy for anything else! It will get better, and you are not alone in feeling this way. You will sleep again, and this will all seem like a distant memory. Really.

Schenck catherine said...

Try giving him a bottle, Daddy can actually participate and you can sleep!

krisel keeper said...

I just wanted to say hang in there! I know exactly how you're feeling and it's even harder with the second. Your time and attention are divided between two leaving you no time for you to regroup or get a breather. I have our 18month old and an almost 6 year old. The two played together for the first time the other day while I made dinner in peace, albeit still in a rush bc you never know when the bliss will end. I thought about how I wouldn't go back one day bc it has been hard but it's getting better. I wish I could give you some trick or great solution to the lack of sleep or rough baby months but the only thing I can say is I'm there with you in spirit, I hear ya and it will pass. Time will make it all better. You amaze me daily. Every day I read your blog and think she's doing this plus juggling the two kids....AND A MOVE!!! Btw, we moved a month before we had our first and it took years for the boxes to finally be opened. So....any progress is great progress. Anyway, sending you a hug from a sister in motherhood!

April said...

You are absolutely right: these days are no joke. To be honest, Joanna, I find it so reassuring that you too are going through this right now! I am a long-time reader of your blog and I really admire you, and this post prompted me to comment for the first time. I just had a little boy, James, a few weeks before Anton arrived so I know just how you feel (well not quite, as I don't have a toddler as well!). Babies are HARD (like, 100x harder than I ever thought?). I sometimes can't comprehend how I am functioning (debatable) without a full night's sleep in almost four months! I'm just now starting to feel that things are easier (mine is crying much less these days), but those first months were very tough going. My only advice is to get outside every day. I go for a walk around our village in England every single morning with James, and it's a complete lifesaver. You're on to something with the sunsets, see? I think it's the power of nature, to sound incredibly hokey. Chin up as best you can! You can do it, and I am rooting for you.

Emmy said...

You never sound like a psycho Joanna, and I am grateful you are willing to share the realities of your experience with us! I am 26 and child-less but it's reassuring to hear that others are overwhelmed by motherhood, since it both fascinates and terrifies me. I'm sure you're doing a fabulous job with your boys, and all of your readers adore your voice. Enjoy those well-deserved happy sunsets!

Vikike said...

Hang on there Joanna! I know what you are talking about! Try to survive one day at a time, and it will get better! Anton is lovely. Sending you power and love from Hungary <3 Viki

SUSANA said...

My one year old baby is still bad sleeping, but as he is my second child I am aware that it is a really short period of time so I try to forget about the bad sleeping, the exhausting days and everything that is bad and I focus on the bride side of maternity...

marija said...

Love your photos...Here is the sunset in my hometown...
http://nesto-netko-negdje.blogspot.com/2013/09/jucerasnji-zalazak-sunca.html

Anna McGregor said...

You're not a psycho! It's actually refreshing to get an honest account of life with a little baby - my son is now 10 months old and i still find it tough! Yesterday was one of the very few times I followed the sage advice 'sleep when the baby sleeps' and had a morning nap myself while he napped!! I felt like I'd been drugged, I was in such a deep sleep! Be gentle with yourself & try to let people help where they can xxx sending big hugs from across the pond xx

Anna McGregor said...

You're not a psycho! It's actually refreshing to get an honest account of life with a little baby - my son is now 10 months old and i still find it tough! Yesterday was one of the very few times I followed the sage advice 'sleep when the baby sleeps' and had a morning nap myself while he napped!! I felt like I'd been drugged, I was in such a deep sleep! Be gentle with yourself & try to let people help where they can xxx sending big hugs from across the pond xx

NiceMatters said...

Feeling the crazy here, too. Baby #3 is almost 3 months. He is a good sleeper. Better than my two girls. Lack of sleep is completely my issue. Trying to keep up with life in general has me staying up too late and getting up too early. Then we have a breakdown and a forced catch-up. Noticing the sunsets, the sounds and the beauty that is right here keeps me holding on. No good advice to share but it helps to know that other mamas share the rough days!

AHMED HUSSIEN said...

very good

Natasha said...

Things will get better! Anton will eventually start to 'sleep like a baby' :P

https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheModernLovely

Ramsey said...

We are all sending you one big collective hug! You are not the least bit "psycho" and everything you are experiencing is completely normal and understandable. Remember this, my friend: sleep deprivation is an extremely effective means of torture; good men and women will sell their souls for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. No joke!! Good luck, hang in there, and know that all of us are in your corner cheering you on.

erin said...

You decidedly do not sound like a psycho. Sunsets are good for so much--calming nerves, especially. Go mama, go!

C. Johnson said...

Beautiful sunset shots. I feel the same calming effect about my city Chicago!

Daska Davis said...

You have a kajillion comments above, but to echo and also say that in my experience, the second time was in some ways harder. First time around it's exciting, everyone's cooing and fussing around - the second time everyone expects you to get on with it. But also you're juggling your other baby (even though suddenly they've been jettisoned into the role of the eldest!) and managing everyone else's emotional and physical needs. It's tough and – even with a willing partner – mama bears the greater part of it. Be kind to yourself, be a little selfish sometimes, and know in what will feel like but a moment, you will be looking at two grown young men. Hugs xx

Joanna Goddard said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for these comments. i love you all so much. thank you.

Joanna Goddard said...

@annaslammo, hahaha your comment made me laugh out loud. i feel you! we just got invited to see a band by a friend who also has a newborn. i was like, a band? at night? like after sundown??? :)

Joanna Goddard said...

i am tearing up from all these comments. thank you again. :)

Eugene Lim said...

The sunset looks incredible! Hang in there, you are doing just fine, and this time of your life will make you stronger and more emotionally resilient than you ever thought you could be. Love the honesty of your posts, thanks for sharing (:

barbara said...

I'm in the same situation: two kids (two years old and a new born) and some days are so.... difficult! Reading the comments of your lovely readers make me feel better too!

Lara said...

Oh Joanna. Thank you for being so real. It is much appreciated. Very refreshing AND encouraging. Hugs.

Janelle Bryan said...

Amen sister. No need to say another word except it's hard! Thank God for good coffee and wine. But now thanks to you i think i'll hold off on the tears and keep looking up... for those sunsets ...Barbados has great ones too.

morestatelymansions said...

this post brought tears to my eyes. (now they are on my chin) my daughter is now 12 but the memory of those first few months still haunts me. There is nothing more terrible than feeling that you are alone in your struggles, as if everyone else knows something or IS something that you are not. It is so relieving to hear all these mothers share thier feelings. I wish I could call every new mom and say, "your feelings of stress and inadequacy, resentment and exhaustion, guilt, joy, whatever, are normal. it will end, and you will be great ."

becomingjolie.com said...

Joanna, my daughter is coming on eight months and the memories are still so fresh. Those first few months are like nothing else, and so many days I thought I was LITERALLY going to lose my mind. In fact I DID lose my mind on a few occasions. You are not psycho, and it feels good to get it out, so you tell us about it anytime!

e024b39e-59a7-11e2-9397-000bcdcb2996 said...

We never think you are a broken record. Let it out!! ;) I appreciate your honesty and look forward to your posts every morning when I get to work. I have a 1 1/2 year old little boy too. I feel connected somehow. I guess it's a Mom thing. XOXO

Sharita Hyppolite said...

Hang in there girlfriend!! Us moms have your back!! I know how it feels to be totally exhausted with a 6, 3 and 1 year old of my own. Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I hope us readers will give you comfort and confidence to charge forward. We love you and Go Cup of Jo!!!

Sharita Hyppolite said...

Hang in there girlfriend!! Us moms have your back!! I know how it feels to be totally exhausted with a 6, 3 and 1 year old of my own. Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I hope us readers will give you comfort and confidence to charge forward. We love you and Go Cup of Jo!!!

Amy said...

Oh Joanna - I have a 2 year old and was just thinking how amazing to be able to say I came this far! How lucky to have your sweet mama to call...they seem to solve everything. I'm glad your new home gives you these gifts of sunsets...

said...

My son is 9 months now and I finally start feeling myself again. But, d***, those first months were so hard!

I still remember getting a textmessage from someone called Marion. I got really frustrated because I didn't know who that person was. While obviously she knew me and she was being so sweet in that message. It bugged me all day. That night my husband got home and had to remind me that Marion is my sister. Really. That's how tired I was.

I asked myself so often these last months why people never tell about these first months. So thank you for sharing. It makes me feel a whole lot better. And it will get better for you too. My thoughts are with you. :)

Megan F said...

Love the honesty (and the photos)! I think I still have PTSD from our son's first 8 weeks. Hang in there!

Stephanie said...

You're doing a great job! Hang in there. :)

emily said...

We are reaching five months with our second, and it is probably been the hardest experience of my life (and I hope for the reward of character building!). I think you can definitely give yourself a new baby gift of not needing to apologize!

Magda Rangel-Hendrick said...

I remember the early months oh so well ( AAHHHHHH!!!!). Keep on venting. It helps!

ew said...

hang in there mama and don't feel bad about being honest! it really is so hard I remember the joy and misery as well xx

Katie Thamer said...

Thank you for being honest about it! So many people are not. I don't have kids yet, but I appreciate your viewpoint and know I will think back on your experience.

Denene said...

Love the pics! Beautiful!!

Maywyn Studio said...

WOW! The photo of Anton will be a forever favorite! You've captured the very essence of wonderment fascination.
Don't stress over it, just hang something fun on the wall even if you know it won't stay there. Stay away from the sugar and peanut butter stuff for a while. Feng shui the crib. Dance to the next song on the radio. Listen to the radio or a book read with a voice that stirs your imagination. And when the grumpies loom, tell them to *&^% off because they aren't welcome. Be good to yourself.

lauravaughn said...

It's really not funny ha-ha, but in a way it makes me chuckle that you had a plan to burst into tears. Hopefully things will get a little easier soon!

Faith Evans-Sills said...

I appreciate your honesty and candor, those first months are so crazy hard, I've done it 3 times and each time I thought it would get easier but somehow it was harder since there were other little people to care for and I was even more tired! Just hold onto the truth that it gets easier with each week each month. Moments like this that you had at the sunset were really what kept me going with my third infant, moment by beautiful moment. I learned lessons about living in the moment and about being much more Zen and grateful that I have taken with me going forward. It really is all a gift. xo

Rachel said...

No need to apologize to us. We are your fan base! You might not hear us out loud but you've got lots of readers rooting for you and cheering you on during these tough early months (...or first year) with baby. I remember feeling so helpless and guilty when my baby would not eat. When you're nursing it is hard not to feel ultimately responsible for their nutrition! I had to remind myself that some days, I don't feel like eating much and some days I pig out. Why should I have expected anything different from my baby?

marni zarr said...

all the heartfelt comments make me weepy. it's good that you share your feelings so honestly so maybe a quieter unknowing mom out there doesn't feel quite so alone. moms are a team, we should always encourage one another and more importantly just be there to listen.
i will be waving to you from the park this weekend with all of my best wishes in hand!!! off to catch my plane in one hour :) xo, m

CCL said...

i love this, calling your mom so you can burst into tears.... we've all been there before!!!! hang in there!!

CCL said...

i love this, calling your mom so you can burst into tears.... we've all been there before!!!! hang in there!!

Mindy Lee said...

I just keep repeating "the days are long but the years are short" when I am up feeding the baby at three in the morning. It really gets me through the tough times. And contact a sleep expert if you need help!!! We don't get extra points for white-knuckling it. I used Eileen Henry and she was awesome!

brianne said...

Thank you for telling the truth! We all feel like psychos from time to time in the first months (or year!) with a new baby. It's nice to know we're not alone. :-) Hope you get some sleep soon!

Amber Marlow said...

Tuesday was amazing! I was on the downtown N going home to Brooklyn, and on the Manhattan bridge, the whole car was peering out the window. It was magic.

Hankaskakanka said...

Stunning views! You don't sound like a psycho - you're tired and who wouldn't be?? If it's any consolation, during these sleepless nights you are Anton's hero - someone who can bring him comfort and calm him down. Isn't that something? :) All the best!

Lauren said...

Girl, you are raising a baby, and I can't BEGIN to imagine how difficult that is!

If I get less then 6 hours of sleep a night, I'm a frizzy-haired monster, so go on wit' yo bad self. :)

Unknown said...

Hey! Stop being so hard on yourself! Look at the joy registered on that child's face by showing him (& me!) that stunning view! Sleep deprivation is a crusher- it skews how we perceive everything. Be extra loving & gentle on yourself & Anton on days like these & just live in the moment. Don't worry about anything outside of doing what is going to make you & Anton happy & comfy on that day. You know this time goes quickly- it doesn't last forever. He is so beautiful & has the best Mama in the world! X

Marissa said...

I think you'd sound like a psycho if you didn't say those things.

sbt said...

Joanna, I don't think you sound like a psycho at ALL. I'm a new mom also (a first-time one!), and I'm also having a difficult time. While my son sleeps pretty well at night, it's a struggle to get him to nap during the day. And breast-feeding hurts me badly. It's really helpful to hear you talk about what's going on with you, because then I know others are also in the same boat. And I know we'll get through it. Thank you for being so open about everything.

Tracy Bartley said...

With two, now 9 and 12, I can tell you it only goes faster and faster and to hold on, and enjoy those sunsets together. I don't want to say it necessarily gets easier. But it changes. And the difficult bits shift around. But looking back it is all worth it. And overall it is the greatest joy imaginable.

cassidyjane said...

I love that you are honest about how hard being a new mom can be. It's silly that we can feel like society wants us to pretend it's all peaches and cream when it comes to parenting, but when it comes to the workforce world it is almost encouraged that you be stressed and "busy"--that must mean you have a very important job, right?! But if we admit that parenting is difficulty? The truth is that things that are hard are the most rewarding and that goes for parenting, too.

dajana, all kinds of lovely said...

Thank you so much for sharing this, Rachel. It's such a mood booster!

Lindsay said...

My daughter (a delightfully goofy 10-month-old) goes on eating strikes from time to time. It's terrifying and frustrating every single time. And oddly, no one can seem to tell us much about them. The advice we get (even from her pediatrician!) tends to be along the lines of "Meh. Just make sure she has plenty of wet diapers and watch her for a fever." (One time the pediatrician even said "Maybe she just needs to rediscover the feeling of hunger." Even though it's kind of a lovely sentiment, it didn't help the fact that we were WORRIED worried worried about her.) We finally came across some solid, reliable research linking eating strikes to large developmental leaps. It doesn't make the strikes any less difficult, really, but it is nice to know that for our little girl, at least, it's all part of normal development.

So, I feel you. We just want to feed those little babies and see them get bigger and sturdier, and it can feel like everything is out of our control when those little babies don't want the food. And oy, the lack of sleep! You already know you'll get through it because you've done it before, but damn it's rough sometimes.

Thanks for being honest. I love me some mommy/lifestyle/fashion blogs, but some days I'd rather poke my eyes out than see one more photo of happy, smiling, well-rested, styled families accompanying a post about gratitude.

melissa said...

I felt like I had a similar day and for no particular reason. Also, I'm childless and able to sleep...but that sunset worked it all out! You are amazing!

Kim said...

You never sound psycho! You always sound honest and I really appreciate you for that. Hang in there!

Ana Simões said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ana Simões said...

Joanna. We've all been there and no one got us t-shirts. I'm the first-time mother of a 6-month-old and I still feel I'm losing it every single time the eating/sleeping patterns change. And I need to skype to my mom in tears, she just moved to Brazil. I always call her a bad grandma, just for "abandoning" us in this time of need (of her shoulders, of course).

We'll make it. And all our babies are the sweetest babies in the whole world :D

dajana, all kinds of lovely said...

Thank you for sharing your reality, Joanna.

I've been feeling overwhelmed by life, too. And then I read this woman's advice on Humans of New York:

http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/62860161678/if-you-could-give-one-piece-of-advice-to-a-large

It resonated deeply with me and I think it will for you, too.

valerie said...

Oh mama, you are not alone! And you don't sound anything like a psycho :)
Our baby girl is almost 8 months and STILL NOT SLEEPING. I am very familiar with the need to call your mom and cry. So familiar. It's so hard to have two littles! And to be working on top of raising them is a HUGE challenge. You are doing an awesome job and it will get easier. Enjoy those sunsets and get yourself a
burger too!

gster said...

Oh my gosh you do NOT sound like a psycho! In fact you seem super together, like you're handling it all really well! I'm due in a couple months with my first and nervous about the transition. Such a good reminder to just go for a walk! Always helps:)
~Gaia

Eric and Jill said...

the hardest time of my life was last summer when my 2nd baby was months old, my father was beginning chemo treatment, and i felt like i was nursing all the live-long day and had the worst thoughts about life. i was a hormonal hotmess! but man, life gets sweeter w/ 2, especially when your babies start playing w/ each other, it's worth all the no-sleep, PPD bullshit of that first whole year of hell, i know you don't believe me now, but it truly is worth it.

thecreamline said...

I just have to comment because you sound so stressed. My advice is to get an inflatable mattress and you and your husband bunk with your other son for a while. Give the baby his own room (in the crib) and see if he starts sleeping better. Crank the white noise, block the light, etc. Once he's in the groove, you can move the crib to the other room and reclaim your bedroom AND your sanity.
And as soon as he can start solids--do it! Start with protein (chicken) early. Here's a recipe http://thecreamline.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/making-homemade-baby-food-chicken/

Alison Kilpatrick said...

Sounds pretty natural to me. With my second, who is now 11 months, I thought I had everything under control having been through it with my now 2.5 yr old not that long ago. They're all different, and sleep deprivation is the worst. The good thing is this time you know there's an end to it and it gets better, even when you feel like you'll never sleep again. Hang in there!

aimeecartier said...

I almost hate commenting on your blog because you already have so many comments and I always feel like, "Jeez I don't want to give that woman more to do." But here, I couldn't resist. I loved your line about being a broken record and feeling like you sound like a psycho. I think the same things sometimes! I'm in the throws of it too-- just a few months ahead of you. My second was born in March. Anyway, for the sake of uplifting... here's a funny letter I wrote recently on my blog to my old and dearly missed friend Sleep. Hang in there lady... it has to end at some point! http://aimeecartier.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/dear-sleep/

Michelle {lovely little things} said...

I have a 5 week old, so I'm right there with you. Sometimes it's the little unexpected things that just make you take a deep breath and immediately feel a smidge better :)

sexualperfume said...

You're a beautiful and normal mom and your baby is a beautiful and normal baby. As a mom of 3 boys, I was sometime caught by my mom or my dad secretly crying (to relieve the stress of it all) in the garden, in the kitchen, in my bedroom. (Parents seem to always know when something is going on with their kids no matter how old the kids become.) I loved my life (raising 3 boys and owning a fragrance company), but that doesn't mean it didn't come with hectic schedules, lack of sleep, and the wish to please everyone (impossible!). My boys are growing up in a flash and now it's my oldest (16 years old) that is now finding me secretly crying in my garden, kitchen, bedroom. I'm crying now because he's off to university next year. His hugs make it all better. Good luck and remember, you're perfectly, beautifully normal.

frumdoc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Agree. If you have to supplement with formula it is not the end of the world. I couldn't breast feed my son past two weeks and he is one smart little cookie. Don't be so hard on yourself. You need to take care of yourself too. Have your husband give him a bottle (pump or formula) so you can get some rest. Hang in there. It will pass.

Maureen said...

Hang in there. I just cried through the first 4 weeks especially. At 8 weeks it got a lot better. I can't imagine having a newborn AND another child! The best thing a friend did for me was to spend the night in the nursery so I could sleep - I pumped bottles for her so she fed my daughter and rocked her back to sleep every time she woke up - and I slept from 8pm to 8am - it was like I blinked and woke up! But I felt so much better. Even if you have to hire a sitter to do it for you - it is worth it just to get back on track. This too shall pass...:D

Maureen said...

Oh and a glass of merlot and a piece of chocolate every night helps!

Jade Lancaster said...

Never apologize for how you are feeling. Anyone who has had a baby/babies knows exactly what you are going through and can sympathize. My second was a really bad sleeper and I remember feeling all over the map with my emotions because sleep deprivation make everything harder. Hang in there. If I have learned one thing from being a parent, it's that these tough times with your kids are just phases and they will pass.(although it doesn't feel that way when you're in them!) I sincerely appreciate your honesty because I feel so many parents can relate.

Megan said...

Giiirrrrllllll I feel ya! I always felt worse at dusk-gearing up for the night ahead. I often repeated this african proverb to bring a sense of reality and calm to myself. "However long the night, the dawn will break."
Good luck to you, I am sure you are doing an amazing job and (eventually) it will get better!

Caroline Shields said...

Oh my goodness, we are in the same boat! Our little guy is 8 weeks and I am ready to sleep. Walks are such a lifesaver! So is a glass of wine with dinner.

Patricia O'Shaughnessy said...

Hello. I know you have a ton of comments telling you to hang in there (you CAN do this, mama) and I know you probably stop reading all the comments by this point, but I still needed to add to the chorus that there in light at the end of the tunnel. Boy oh boy, my second child (I have two sons, 2.5 years apart) WOULD NOT SLEEP for two years. I am not exaggerating. He woke up ever hour or two for two years. We tried everything. Nurse back to sleep, don't nurse so he does not expect (when he got older), don't cry it out led to cry it out desperation (that did not work for us), sleep with us, don't sleep with us, drive, walk, go to bed late, go to bed early. Well, you get the idea. I was a walking zombi. It was so hard. But...at around two he just started to sleep, and went to bed well. He is 9 now and is the best sleeper ever. Goes right to bed at 8 pm, never argues about it, goes right to sleep and sleeps until a decent time. This will pass, but boy is it hard when it is going on. Keep going, mama. You are doing great.

Maz said...

HUGS AND KISSES!! Xx

Nina Leung said...

Beautiful post! It's so true, sometimes the simplicity of a nice walk, fresh air, and a beautiful sunset can make all of your worries and cares disappear. It's also a good reminder to live in the moment and not worry so much.

You're not a psycho! It's true, the first few months are super hard, especially when you have more than one child! Live in the moment! That's my new motto after having 2 kids and having plenty of my own psycho moments!
http://itsazooatthezoo.blogspot.com/

Becca Gilgan said...

I'm in New York for the month staying with my boyfriend who's currently doing a photo internship (we're from Toronto.) We were riding the F train home and I was admiring the sunshine on my fellow passenger's faces, so when we finally got out at our stop and I saw this amazing sunset I was in awe. So glad we were up high on the elevated train to get a decent view. It was a pretty magical experience to add to my time here. I saw your photos on instagram too which made me happy. :)

Jamie said...

I feel like that with our 5 month old puppy! I'm a wreck, I cried for weeks and it's a dang dog! I have a new found amazement for you and every mother I know. Maybe that's why women are so damn strong.

stephanielibby said...

Hang in there, friend! Know that other moms with babies (and toddlers too - insane right??) are rooting for you! One tip I found helpful in those early months... I always left good, soothing music playing in our family room overnight. This way when I got up to nurse the baby at 2am (and 4am and 6am!) I didn't feel so alone. And the music made me feel happy and cozy. My husband and I also live by a new mantra that our friends with babes have also taken on: WE'RE DOING IT. When toddler and baby are going berserk and you want to rip your hair out, just think: WE'RE DOING IT. When you're at a restaurant and your boob is totally exposed and your toddler is throwing noodles everywhere, think: WE'RE DOING IT. (Also, high-fiving husband helps too.) I swear!
Thinking of you! YOU'RE DOING IT!

Terree said...

Hello from the other side. My youngest kid is 23, and he is only 12 minutes younger than his twin sister. Their older sister is 2 years older. Although it was a while ago (my husband was in medical school and never home), I recall with a shudder the sleep-deprived fog of those days. I imagined I would never get another full-night's sleep. They grow, they sleep, you sleep. It's so hard to get through sometimes--but it's all worth it. I don't look back fondly on those days as some said I would. I do really love my kids & I'm glad they're here!

Jennifer said...

Please don't apologize EVER about how tough it is with the little ones. It IS hard. And the sleep deprivation is astounding (and made me see why it's used as a form of torture!). Vent all you like - after all, this is YOUR website. And you have lots of us out here (who have been through it) to support you. Hang in there!

Jen said...

Aren't those moments wonderful? I feel like its the heavens saying "You can do this!" Its nice to hear you be honest about how difficult it can be with a newborn (and another little one). You can do it girl!

Melissa Ariate Jarvis said...

You take walks with your new baby!!!! How awesome is that! When my baby first got here (he's 3 1/2 months now) I counted getting up to go to the kitchen as walking. You are an awesome mama!

Audrey said...

Complain all you want - it's totally your right too :) The first few months are always SO hard, but soon enough they will be far behind you. Hang in there, and keep on watching that sunset. One of our favorite things to do in Battery Park was to have a picnic for dinner, because no matter how bad our days were, just being outside, seeing the water with the kids running around made up for it. Hugs! Audrey - This Little Street

lauraloo said...

We need moms to be more vocal about how difficult motherhood is! Thank you for being honest!

Unknown said...

That little face is the most precious thing I've ever seen. No you don't sound psycho. You sound honest. I wish I had had an outlet for that type of honesty when I was in those first few months. I definitely needed it. Say hi to Anton and Toby's dad for me.

eypolapol said...

My baby number 2 is coming out this March and I'm nervous.

eypolapol.tumblr.com

Vixenlibra said...

Aaawww! Anton is tooo adorable! I know he is frequently attacked with kisses. I'm sure it gets hard sometimes but hang in there Momma!

Vixenlibra said...

Aaawww! Anton is tooo adorable! I know he is frequently attacked with kisses. I'm sure it gets hard sometimes but hang in there Momma!

jillyjally said...

Loving the updates about the new atmosphere. :)

The Slow Pace said...

You don't sound like a psycho! Sadly I don't have kids, but when I'm really stressed and sad, nature always help. I'm not a "let's go for a hike" or sporty person, but just sitting in the park, watching a nice sunset or feeling the wind or the rain makes me feel more relaxed and think that everything is going to be fine. :)
xx,
E.
www.theslowpace.com

Jaclyn Barr said...

you're doing a great job, Jo!

megan golden said...

one of my favorite things about my commute home to brooklyn from midtown is how the timing lines up with the sunset. when i hop off the subway and look back to that mesmerizing skyline + sunset, i get this sort of accomplished, indescribable feeling... even on a day when nyc has totally beat me up :)

meg

http://www.twininthecity.com

Sanja said...

I'm so glad you've shared how you feel this time around. Feel free to do so and thank you for doing so. Sleeplessness is the main problem for new moms, I think. I had my first baby two months ago and you sharing your experience has made me feel less alone and more understood :)

Unknown said...

Oh Jo! You are doing great. My kids are 4 1/2 and 13 months, and this first year of the second baby's life has been the hardest most intense time I've ever been through. But a few other posters pointed this out, LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Don't worry about later or what happened. Be there in the moment and don't impose stress. When the baby isn't sleeping, don't think about what you have to do or how much you wish he would sleep, just be there. This year is gonna fly by so fast when it's over that your head will spin.

Florescaroly said...

Are you traveling to France and could use a portable French food dictionary menu decoder that will fit in a coat pocket or a purse?  Do you just need a concise dictionary for those French recipes you make at home? The A-Z of French Food is a 4000+ entry, 142 page, lightweight, compilation of French cuisine gastronomy terms translated into English and augmented with explanations and historical anecdotes.

nomdevirtuel said...

I remember those first few months with number 1 as being really hard and now I have number 2 coming at the end of January. I wondered if you had any tips for what has worked with Toby as a toddler while you tend to Anton. You mentioned a nursing bag that comes out just for the toddler when you nurse number 2 - has that worked? Anything else that helps when you can't move from the couch and the toddler wants to play? Thank you Olivia (New Zealand)

Eva Tallmadge said...

My son is a week or two older than yours, and went on a "boob strike" a couple weeks ago, refusing to eat. I was so tired and stressed out, BUT my Little Man finally ate, and all was well. A friend reminded me that a missed meal won't hurt him, and it turns out he was pushing out his time between feedings. Best of luck, and hopefully you can grab some sleep this weekend.

Georgia said...

thank you for making me feel that I am not the only one who wants (and does) burst into tears when things with babies don't go smoothly...recently i had a very complicated fracture in my leg, and i had a very difficult time with my 14 month twin girls that actually didn't want to sleep, eat not even come to me, because i could hardly move...i was convinced they hated me!...I was so stressed out! thanks to my husband's support i got over it, and realised they are just babies...it s too hard to be a mother sometimes!good luck!
mygenerouslife.blogspot.com

Taryn Louise said...

You are so not a psycho. Thanks for being honest, it's what we all love so much about your blog. :)

Taryn Louise said...

You are so not a psycho. Thanks for being honest, it's what we all love so much about your blog. :)

Taryn Louise said...

You are so not a psycho. Thanks for being honest, it's what we all love so much about your blog. :)

Tracy S said...

you're not psycho. Many went through the same thing in the first few months, some even went on to have harder journey (never really sleeping well, etc) for a lot longer, I hope Anton will get to adjust to good sleeping schedule and be easier to feed as time went on (sooner than not). Hang in there, honey.

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