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Thursday, October 03, 2013

Did you have sex on your wedding night?

Couples are expected to have wild sex on their wedding night, but I've always been curious about...

...how many people these days actually do. After such a big day, you're just too exhausted! And that's what the honeymoon is for, right? (In our case, Alex and I ordered a giant burger from room service to share on the hotel bed while I took all the bobby pins out of my hair for like an hour.) But maybe I'm TOTALLY wrong and everyone's out there having sexy sexytimes? So, to test it out, I asked 9 friends to share their funny wedding-night stories, below...

*****

"We got into our New York hotel around 3am, and I sent Michael down to the deli across the street to get me a cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel because I was STARVING. He found about twenty of our friends in the hotel lobby and brought them all up to our room for a party. As he opened the door I called out 'You better be alone!' (because I KNOW THAT MAN) and he called back 'Of course!' I later heard there was a lot of frantic 'abort mission! abort mission!' hand gestures and miming as everyone ran for the elevators..." —Stacey

"I was sober and looking forward to drinking Champagne, chatting and maybe having sex. Then I turned 'round and in the last five minutes of the party my husband was so smashed he couldn't walk! So when I suggested Champagne, he suggested coffee, walked into the bedpost and passed out snoring, and I took out bobby pins in a fury!" —Anne

"We didn't plan on having sex (we'd heard horror stories of wedding night sex gone wrong). We even talked about how tired we were going to be, etc etc etc, and that we weren't putting any pressure on the night (since we'd been living with each other and having sex for years). But, as it turned out, we ended up having epic, hot, mad-for-each-other sex. Maybe because it was the first time we'd been together in days, maybe because we hadn't put any pressure on each other, who knows! I remember Ryan taking off my dress which had all these little buttons in the back and both of us going crazy having to wait. I remember feeling and thinking that sex as married people was going to be awesome. And, you know, it really has been. Afterwards, I took all the pins and flowers out of my hair (I couldn't sleep with them LOL), and I sat down while Ryan slept and made a whole list of my memories from that day, a list I still have in a box someplace." —Amy

"A savvy friend tipped me off, and we actually stayed in a hotel the night before our wedding so we could, um, pre-party. It's a calculated move, which some might see as unromantic, but it was nice to have a stolen interlude to ourselves. And also nice for both of us to be freed up just to collapse happily into bed together after the biggest party of our lives." —Olivia

"We were determined to do the deed on our wedding night. But as social butterflies we also didn't want to miss the after party with all our friends. By the time we were finally in bed it was 5am. I managed to slip into a negligee, but I honestly can barely remember the actual moment. We were in a complete daze! That morning we left for Italy and I've never been so tired. We forgot to check our flight time and we ended up barely making it to the airport. My husband told the flight crew we were newlyweds and they had the whole plane give us a round of applause...little did they know, we really deserved it!" —Beth

"The first piece is that I did not want to take off my wedding dress. As in, DID NOT. But I bribed myself with some badass black lingerie. However, watching me work through my emotional dress-removal process required my new husband's last piece of semi-conscious energy and so by the time I'd taken the leap, he was gone. As in passed out. On top of the covers. In his tux. At this point I thought, meh, and happily dove head-first into the mini-bar snacks." —Melissa

"Our wedding after party involved In-N-Out burgers and booze until 4am, so sex was the last thing on my mind. But I was determined to do it, just so we could say we had! We cleared the rose petals off the bed and ate wedding cake on top of the covers...and then, with eyes practically closed and much less verve than a normal Sunday make-out session, we actually made it happen! Although the sex was mediocre, I'm still really happy that I can say we consummated the marriage on the actual wedding night. I've bragged about it many times, and I always give brides the advice that "you gotta do it, no matter how little you feel like it in the moment." (My other piece of bridal advice is to reapply lipstick much more often than you think during the reception.)" —Louisa

"When we got up to our hotel suite, our only problem was that we couldn't get my dress off. It had 50 tiny buttons down the back and my husband couldn't unloop them all with his tired hands. Thankfully one of the gifts we'd opened was a set of knives, and we used them to literally cut my dress off." —Ginny

"We got married at my husband's family's house, but the night before the wedding, I stayed at a nearby hotel so I could get ready there and show up all bride-y and stunning—I figured my soon-to-be husband didn't need to see me blow-drying my hair and curling my eyelashes. We had a great wedding and people had a wonderful time and the party went on well into the night. And it wasn't until I stumbled into our bedroom exhausted that I realized I had forgotten to pack an overnight bag, so I had nothing to sleep in, all my nice beauty products were back at the hotel and I had to wash my wedding makeup off with Dial hand soap. There was a brunch for guests the next morning, so I made my new husband go to the hotel and get my clothes early the next day—otherwise I'd have been wearing my wedding dress again. It was hilarious—the whole wedding day had gone off without a hitch, but I spent my first night as a wife sleeping in his old high school T-shirt with Vaseline Intensive Care on my face." —Lauren

What about you? Please share your stories below, I would LOVE to hear... :)

P.S. Would you wait to kiss until your wedding day?

245 comments:

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Audrea Rachelle Garcia said...

Our caterers were BRILLIANT enough to send us off with tons of food - which we sat in bed and ate with wedding cake, chatting about the best parts of the day. The officiant forgot to ask us to read personal vows, so we read them to each other and then got busy. ;)

CS said...

I am not married, but when I think about wedding nights, particularly sex on wedding nights, I'm always reminded of the opening of Jonathan Dee's (really excellent) novel, The Privileges.

"So the music stops, and the bar is closed, and the lights are all turned on because the night manager has had all the complaints from upstairs he can take; but there are still twenty or thirty people in and around the ballroom, drunk, tired, euphoric, young, beautiful, sweaty, dressed up and on someone else's nickel, and determined--as who wouldn't be?--to remain all those things forever. When the ballroom is locked they take over the lobby, and when they're chased out of the lobby they take it upstairs to their rooms. Dawn seeps around the drapes. They pass out on one another's floors, across one another's beds, refusing to part, sealing their legend.
At the bed and breakfast eight blocks away Cynthia, in a t-shirt and shorts, is propped up by pillows on the huge four-poster bed, some librarian's idea of a honeymoon bower; she strokes her husband's hair as he sleeps with his head in her lap. He didn't even make it out of his clothes. She's not disappointed. Sex is no novelty; being exhausted together, being each other's safe place--that's what tells you you've found what everybody's always whining about searching for. The air conditioner hums. Tomorrow they will fly to Mexico, and when they fly back to New York Cynthia will be pregnant. When she figures that out, she will wonder again what she is wondering right now: whether it's true what the priest said--that God gives each of us only what He knows we can handle--because, all her life, things have come at her very fast."

Rachel Pugh said...

Like several others, we had waited to have sex until our wedding night. We did the afternoon wedding so we would have plenty of time to ourselves that night.

I actually had to be sewn into my wedding dress, so we made a plan to run home after the reception and one of my bridesmaids cut me out of it! I put on a simple white dress to wear to the hotel.

I was really nervous and excited so we took a shower together to relax first. When we did have sex, we were so excited that we gave each other a high 5 during the act! We still laugh about that to this day. Even though we were inexperienced, our first time was wonderfully special and I wouldn't change a thing! Especially the high 5!

William Eastman said...

No sex. She cried. Sixteen years and three kids later, she tells me she never loved me and only married to get away from her mother.
The second one has lasted 31 years.

Kate M. (Heels on the Hill Blog) said...

We did! We got married in the Virgin Islands with only 6 guests - It was so romantic and not exhausting at all. After our dinner reception under the stars we headed back to our cabin on the beach. To our happy surprise, the resort staff had decorated our room with rose petals and candles. I slipped into the bathroom and put on a cute white outfit with little blue bows. I remember my husband looking at me and telling me how beautiful I looked, what a great feeling to be so vulnerable and in love. I remember it like it was yesterday - my husband and I with the waves crashing in the background and the candle light - what a perfect end to a great day and a great start of our life together.

PeachSponge said...

My husband and I got to our hotel, he helped me get my dress off and the pins out of my hair. We took a shower cause we were FREEZING (winter wedding!), and then we crawled under the covers and fell asleep in about 0.3 seconds. It's such a long day, but we were just happy to cuddle all night.

michael and marah said...

i've always wondered this too.. mostly because of how exhausted we were after the wedding! my husband & i were both virgins too, so we were totally excited to make it happen that night. he had champagne ready with a raspberry liqueur, i managed to slip into some lingerie.. i have to admit that it was awkward, though incredibly sweet. i could never have imagined how gentle and sweet my husband could be, but seriously - it was a special night, though i would say we only went halfway & enjoyed ourselves much more on the honeymoon.

Kelly Keating said...

Loved Amy's story!

mccart said...

I was married to my husband for 10 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2012 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when i called him, he don't longer pick up my calls and he nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, supremespellcaster@gmail.com i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the next three [3] day, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to prophet lord, but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man Prophet lord is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address: supremespellcaster@gmail.com

Jackie said...

Yup, same thing happened to me! I had my period on our wedding day. I realized this was going to happen a couple of weeks before our wedding so I warned my hubby. We were both kinda disappointed about the timing, but knew we'd have lots of fun on our honeymoon. We had been together for three years and owned a house together when we got married so this was not our first time at all.

On our wedding night we checked into our hotel and got upgraded to a huge swanky suite (benefit of checking in still wearing a tux and wedding gown!). We sat on the bed, ate extra wedding cake, opened cards and my husband helped me take the bobby pins out of my hair. I remember us counting the bobby pins (around 50!) and just laughing about the quantity. No sex that night but we had fun. Oh and our honeymoon in Napa was awesome. Lots of fun sex on that trip! :)

laura-london said...

Well this report out today correlates that over half the population DON'T consummate on their wedding night! http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/more-than-half-don8217t-make-love-on-their-wedding-night/story-fnet09y4-1226736859089

reckless daughter said...

so cheeky! I love it :D

Lara Nelson said...

The farthest we went before getting married was some necking. We had a quiet wedding with our family and closest friends in the morning and were in our hotel room by 4pm. I was dead set on taking a nap because I had two hours of sleep the night before, but he would have none of that. A couple rounds later and we realized we were STARVING. We ordered not one but TWO massive burgers from room service and a big plate of heirloom tomatoes. It was incredible.

joanne said...

Nope, no sex. Our wedding was small, only 25 people and we had it in this massive house we rented. There were enough rooms for everyone to stay over. The actual wedding day was a fun blur. Laughing, drinking, hugging everyone. At the end the only people still awake were some of my husband's friends, my sister and us. It was around 4am when they all decided we needed to go to bed and have sex. They led us to our room and went to their own rooms and called it a night. When we were alone we laughed, joked around (someone had snuck into our bathroom and it was sooooo stinky). So after a while we fell asleep. The next day for me was the happiest day of my life. That's when it all hit me, I was married to him. We woke up, looked at each other in the same excited way and THEN we had sex. That whole day was magical, not because we did anything too special, but because we were both feeling so sublimely happy.

Shelley said...

I just got married on September 28th! this is my first day back to work :) haha. We had awesome sex after the wedding - I wasn't nearly as tired as I expected to be. maybe it's because people kept talking about how exhausted I'd be so I was prepared but I still felt pretty wide awake and maybe kind of "high" from the day.

I didn't have a super complicated dress removal - just a zipper and it slid right off and I wore my lingerie underneath all day. It was absolutely perfect :) very romantic sex.

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adrata said...

While these are some great stories and interesting to hear, I think "you gotta do it, no matter how little you feel like it in the moment" is the WORST SEX ADVICE EVER, wedding night or not.
If you don't want sex, don't do it.
Aside from the slippery slope of "forcing yourself" to have sex and its eerie, vaguely rape-y implications, I honestly can't imagine anything worse than a great day spoiled by bad, half-hearted sex at the end of it - I'd much rather stick with "we were too blissfully tired, but did it like rabbits the next morning", thank you very much.

Sarah said...

Leading up to the wedding, I couldn't imagine not having sex that night, but my husband and I both woke up with the stomach flu on the morning of our day. We were in the ER an hour before pictures! We made it through the wedding even though I puked all night in my gown. We had so many friends staying at our hotel for the after party, but I saw none of it. I went straight to bed, curled up in a ball, getting up only a few times to hurl. HA! It was terrible. Sex was definitely NOT happening. True story!

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brian and amanda said...

hell yeah we did! we waited before we were married (yikes!) to have sex. so this was going ON! in fact, when i went to change for the reception, my husband performed...oral sex (TMI!!??) on ME before we went. so yeah, needless to say, there was sex that night. lol

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jagdish said...

Same here! We waited awaiting our wedding night, but still then I was so weary I just wanted to go to divan.

Sydni Jackson said...

We waited til our wedding night! After 4 years of dating, we were beyond ready to try the whole sex thing out. I put on a sexy bra under my strapless dress, he took my dress off, and I sat on his lap in my undies while we read love letters to each other. We hopped in the shower, then tried to do the deed. It's a lot harder than it seems like it would be! We didn't worry about it though, because we were just enjoying being together. We sat in a big bathtub together and talked about being naked, haha. We finally "did it" the morning we woke up on our honeymoon. We celebrated with mimosas!

Unknown said...

After our wedding we were both starving, so we decided to stop for burritos....only to discover that we could not find my husbands wallet or my purse. We spent the next hour frantically calling everyone who was at the wedding venue cleaning up, hoping that they would find our wallets. We had awesome sex in the hotel while we waited for someone to call us back. They eventually found his wallet in the venues kitchen and my purse ended up being packed in my suitcase by a well meaning bridesmaid. Memorable, but not exactly what we had imagined!

Stephanie Loudmouth said...

So many virgins! I officially feel like a slut. But at any rate, I do hope my baby daddy and I have sex on our wedding night. If not, I'm sure we'll still have fun!

Jacqueline Penn said...

We actually did! All of our married friends said we would be exhausted but they were wrong. After our wedding we went out to a bar with a group of my college friends and stayed out until 3am. We grabbed some late night pizza on the walk back to the hotel. I thought we were going to bed but my hubby had other plans. I'm so glad he wasn't tired ;). It was very romantic and sexy :).

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