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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

How to Piss Off Every New Yorker in 36 Seconds


Made me laugh.

P.S. How not to look like a tourist in NYC.

(Via Swissmiss)

54 comments:

quinncooper said...

OMG every single one of these is true. I was laughing out loud.
Will definitely be sending this to all my friends. SO funny, thanks for sharing!
xo Quinn

Quinn Cooper Style

mamalooks said...

Funny! I think 90% of them apply to London to!!

simone antoniazzi said...

They DO apply to London, I live here and totally agree :)

Stephanie McDonnell said...

Funny those are "rules" for New York. Most of it seemed like common courtesy. How rude to steal someones newspaper! Smh.

NewlyMynted

Shoko said...

Hilarious. Just what I needed to see this morning. Thank you!

Tracey said...

Ha! Have to say all of the above apply to Chicago, too, if you just switch out Times Square for the Mag Mile... :)

Zoë said...

This is so funny. I lived in New York for two months and I think I did a pretty excellent job avoiding these things - except maybe the first time I rode the subway. I definitely struggled sliding my card and I received so many death stares.

Thanks for sharing!

Tiffany said...

Ha! VERY good to know! ;)

tiff

tisfortiffanyblog.blogspot.com

bakeorbreak said...

So very true. I'll add: walking 4-people-wide on the sidewalk.

Clare said...

Ha ha! So funny...and definitely applicable to London too!

Heather Patton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shanti Knight said...

sooo true. I got antsy just watching some of these stunts!

fancyalterego said...

I don't even live there and I'd be pretty pissed off by most of this stuff! Not sure how it happens, but every time we vacation somewhere, we get mistaken for people who live there. I even had a nun at the Notre Dame cathedral arguing with me about which suburb of Paris I was from (turns out my French skills back then were pretty good). She didn't want to believe I was some idiot tourist from Ohio!

I guess that means we've managed to figure out how not to look like dumb Midwest tourists, which I hear is a difficult thing to do. ;-)

Corrie Anne said...

Hahaha.... if you live in Denver/Boulder you're just used to all the petitioning!!

pilar said...

Many of these also apply to Chicago! Especially "excuse me, can I have a moment of your time"!

Hilary said...

Haha - this is very true! Love it.

Xx Hilary

Maria Ana said...

Ah, and there is one more, when everyone is coming the other way and you can't even swipe your card because there's this flow of people...pfff

Hilary said...

Also, the hair salon/students that stand outside and say, "Miss, I would like to ask you where you get your hair done?" So annoying! haha

Lilac In May said...

...and Londoners, just replace Times Square with Trafalgar Square!

joeycake said...

ha! this was great! after having lived in NYC, it makes me so nostalgic that i get all of those things:)

Mary said...

Most of them true for London too except here people also go nuts if you stand on the wrong side of the elevator (left) and if you walk slowly on busy footpaths, thus holding others up and worse still stopping suddenly on a busy footpath before looking behind you thus causing a start a pile-up, albeit unintentionally! Ah big cities! Love 'em! x

Stella Dobry said...

Lol! We're visiting my brother in NYC next month, so thanks for the tips. :) I will do my best not to look like a tourist.... but I have a feeling the big clunky camera & my tennis shoes are going to give it away in about .5 seconds......

Mary said...

Oh also chuggers - (combine charity and muggers). They drive pretty much everyone nuts in London! I get mad thinking about them!

Mary said...

Most of them true for London too except here people also go nuts if you stand on the wrong side of the elevator (left) and if you walk slowly on busy footpaths, thus holding others up and worse still stopping suddenly on a busy footpath before looking behind you thus causing a start a pile-up, albeit unintentionally! Ah big cities! Love 'em! x

Michelle Panting said...

Haha, perfect! I agree with many of these. Big city attitude in a small city.

http://www.fullbellywornsoles.com/

Bahar Orang said...

This all sounds awfully familiar.. I'm from Toronto! I guess the same rules apply :)

http://orangeyouhip.blogspot.ca/

Caitlin said...

this is awesome!

Kait said...

"doing anything in times square" hahaha this video cracked me up - so true!

Melissa Blake said...

Ha, looks like a lot of that stuff could be true of any big city! :)

lessthanperfectmama.com said...

love this. so true.

moseyblog said...

haha. spot on.

Modern Grace said...

The Metrocard... lmao

Callie Glorioso-Mays said...

This probably shows how naive I am, but...

i am appalled that people would steal newspapers from someone's porch/front door!!!! have you no common curtsey??



aa31b8d4-3390-11e0-b088-000bcdcb471e said...

He forgot, "standing in the middle of the sidewalk and looking up/taking pics" AND/OR "NOT HAVING A TOURIST LANE ON THE SIDEWALK" lol

Ms. Shypoke said...

When I lived in Germany the expression was Rechts Stehen, Links Gehen on the escalators. which meant if you are standing.. stay to the right so that people can walk on the left side of the escalator. I have been in big cities a lot of this applies to any situation where you are in a crowd of some sort. It's funny though. I wouldn't trade my rural to semisuburban environment for anything. I love sitting on my back steps and seeing not one single house.. just the peaceful pond with geese and the occasional blue heron! I love being back in the woods 2 miles from the nearest paved road. Sure.. you don't have a coffee shop to walk to or whatever.. but you can make coffee at home without some snoot giving you a hard time because you don't order it "properly". It helps that we are great cooks.. I can tell you from experience that the steamed lobster with drawn butter is just as good when you eat it at home..lol.

I guess it's just as foreign for a New Yorker to think how anyone could be happy living on a 65 or 4 acre property without things within walking distance. (though within reasonable drives..:)).. as it is to understand how someone would put up with living in such close confines with so many other people! Both types of living certainly have their plusses and minuses.. but for me.. I will take Oliver's farm over Ava's city.. (Green Acres reference there ha!).


www.singlewidediva.blogspot.com

liz @ bon temps beignet said...

I think this is probably true of every big city.

Nancy said...

Here in The Netherlands we have the same saying - Rechts staan, links gaan. Funny!

Nancy said...

I am very happy I didn't do any of these when I was in New York :)

Love,
Nancy

Lizzie Polish said...

Last week I found out that my husband thought we had started subscribing to the paper while I thought he had started a subscription. It turns out that they paper boy has been leaving the paper for the basement apartment on our steps. I felt so guilty that I left the couple downstairs a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, flowers and a note explaining what happened. They were very sweet about it but I felt so bad!

Donna said...

These are good to know since we Bostonians live to piss off New Yorkers !!

Poppy B. said...

So true! And I second aa31b8d4-3390-11e0-b088-000bcdcb471e 2:53 PM that we need an "express lane" on the sidewalk for NYers!

lauralcharles said...

Pretty much how to piss off a Londoner too! :P

Amy at Ms. Toody Goo Shoes said...

omg - that was absolutely hilarious because it is so right on! Another would be slow-walkers, three abreast on the sidewalk.

theycallmekatie said...

i'm pretty sure the bottle of Veuve made up for any news they missed :)

Sara P said...

Only mildly related: have you heard of the Mapping Manhattan project?
? I think it's super interesting:

http://mapyourmemories.tumblr.com/mappingmanhattan
http://www.thejealouscurator.com/blog/2013/05/17/im-jealous-of-becky-cooper-manhattan/

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

hahaha! So true!
I found the Metrocard bit especially funny - it took me a while to master that one to get through on the first try :-)

Yazmak iyidir... said...

Istanbul, the same. Just change the subways with metrobus :P

And once I even stopped the guy who was about to get into the cab that I'd been waiting for the last 15 mins. I literally tore his tiny hands off from the cab's door with my poisonous mouth. Dude, that cab was mine.

http://yazmakiyidir.blogspot.com

seakist said...

"Culture peaked in the 80s" -- agreed!

food addict said...

Melissa! How fun to see you here. I'm a big fan.

SteffanyF said...

I think all of these things are true for every major city! Though the metrocard thing totally threw me. NO other city in the US has you swipe a transit card like a credit card! Weird. The first time I visited new york I actually watched people use the turnstiles before I ever got on the subway. I didn't want to announce my tourist status to the world. :)

Jane said...

this made me laugh, too! and made me miss ny terribly!

Lily Lemontree said...

Too funny! Loved this!

Aurélie said...

It works in Paris too ! So true that I laughed for 5 minutes ! I can add "Walking slowly and stop in the middle of the sidewalk" or "Coming in the subway with all my luggage".

Olithée said...

Your youtube selection is alway hilarious !
I am also sharing some on my blog

xo

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