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Friday, January 18, 2013

Potty training advice?

Help! This weekend, we're attempting to potty train.

We were originally planning start potty training right before the holidays, but decided to wait until our trip was over. (We figured diapers would be best on car trips and airplanes.)

But, now, we're ready. A reader recommended this website, which instructs us to spend a weekend at home with Toby totally naked. Sounds strange, but the site says it helps your child realize that they're not wearing a diaper and instead should use the potty. Is that what you guys did? Did it work? I'd be incredibly grateful for any tips and advice.

Most of all: Go, Toby! What a little hero!

(Photo of Toby from the holidays)

240 comments:

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Amanda said...

Potty training charts! - Get one with a cool image like Thomas the Train... Toby gets a sticker on his chart every time he uses the big boy pot. --Once the chart is filled out he gets a prize/toy Or have a little M&M jar and he gets to pick a few out after going potty. - Positive reinforcement is key. : )

Dani said...

He can do it! You can do it! Go get em little guy!

Mary said...

I wish I knew! I've tried every trick in every book ever written! I agree with positive reinforcement, and yes I've heard great things from having a focused weekend/few days where you keep them as naked as possible. (Harder in the winter I would think!) I have two boys, and both of them were/are challenging. My older son was almost 4 by the time he was consistently going #2 in the toilet. My 3-year-old was accident-free for a couple months last summer, so I thought I was done. He then regressed and hasn't had an accident-free day since! So.....my advice? PATIENCE.

(Of course there are many boys who train easily, so my fingers crossed that Toby is one of those. ;-)

Genloftrichin said...

Worked great with my bot 17 years ago but we did it in the summer calling it Naked 75 Method with the 75 being how much it cost to have the carpets cleaned!

GIULIA said...

go, toby! you can definitely do it!

c & b said...

You could do a mixture of various training techniques. We used a chart, we left the kiddo in underwear (but not naked) so that she could feel the uncomfortable feeling of wet cloth clinging to her bum, and lots and lots of cheering, high fives and phone calls to g'parents after she went in the potty. Definitely positive reinforcement. But the cheering and such AFTER because one time she peed and we got so excited we cheered so loudly we actually startled her on the seat and for a while after that she had performance anxiety.

Don't forget that each child has their own pace. It took us many many times before she actually was fully trained. We had starts and fits. It wasn't that we didn't do it right, she simply wasn't ready, her muscles down there weren't ready when we were. So if it doesn't work out after a while, shelve it for a few months and try again. Don't feel bad. If it does work out the first try, that's awesome and you're diaper free until the next itty bitty arrives.

Good luck!
cg

Angry Asian said...

my household was a bit odd. myself, my sisters and all my cousins were potty trained the moment we started walking. every morning we were seated on the potty and had to go before we were allowed to get up.

is it a wonder that we are all anal now?

lucy at dear beautiful said...

We did naked from the waist down for a few days but within 24hrs the constant tiny accidents had stopped and he was working out how to hold it. So I'd definitely say it worked well for us.
Positive reinforcement is great but we avoided actual things as I didn't want him to start associating going on the potty with a treat or snack. We just cheered and did an excited dance, and we let him press the flush when we tipped it down the toilet which he LOVED!!! That was definitely excitement enough for our little guy.
Good luck. As someone who has been doing this only recently, I promise you it is not as bad or as hard as you think it'll be. X

Cindy said...

I have twin girls and potty trained them at the same time. We did the naked thing, which was messy at first and then changed tactics. We talked A LOT about listening to our bodies. If our body says it has to go potty, stop what you are doing, go potty, then go back and continue whatever it was you were doing. Also, we let the girls drink a lot of water to understand the Stop What You Are Doing and Go To the Bathroom idea. Then every hour or two we had them sit on the potty to try. Also, we stay up late so before we went to bed, we would "Pee the Girls" - we would take them out of bed and sit them on the toilet and they would pee. They did go immediately back to sleep and it was great because we didn't bother with pull ups. I found that pullups dragged the process out with my oldest. We did use incentives: for my oldest, she really wanted a bike, so we did the chart and when she reached the goal of 1 week dry she got the bike. Note - we did have to explain after the fact that to keep the bike she had to continue going on the potty. My twins were more into going potty and getting a chocolate chip or an m&m. Praise and encourage but DO NOT go overboard. Good luck.

macaca grava-por-cima said...

OMG - I want that too! But I guess i'll wait for the spring time, it's easier

Desiree said...

We completely skipped pull ups unless we were leaving the house. We put my daughter in big girl undies so that there would be absolutely no absorption and she could quickly learn to identify the "having to go" feeling with actually going. She peed her big girl undies a few time before she caught on. She was done in two weeks and only ever had a handful of accidents. It also really, really helped that we stayed home as much as possible in those two week. Not always possible but I definitely think that what why it went so fast for us.

Britt Bowen said...

I don't have kids, but I remember specifically how I was potty trained at age 2 or 3: I watched the video "Once Upon a Potty," for girls. There's a boy video. It's super cute and really easy for kids to follow. I watched it a bunch in front of the TV while sitting on a potty. Eventually, I got it :)

You can buy it on Amazon!

http://threeinchstitch.blogspot.com

Danhiskka said...

We did that with my niece, and it worked great. Ask her if she wanted to pee, every half an hour or so, also was very helpful.

Lynn said...

My only advice is - if you start and it isn't going well and/or he doesn't seem ready, let it go for awhile. Sometimes kids just don't have the control or interest yet, but the parents have trouble waiting once they've started. In fact, it seems like their response is to double down on their efforts! Then it becomes a source of stress for everyone when, let's be honest, the kids will learn how to use the potty eventually. It's unlikely you'll have an 8 year old in diapers :)

Nessa said...

My 3 year old is potty trained since last April. I knew she was ready because she was dry every morning for about a week.
I got a book called Princess Polly's Potty Training Book...Fantastic! Here's the link to the boys one:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pirate-Petes-Potty-Ladybird-training/dp/1409302202/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358524430&sr=1-1
Ask every half hour if he needs to use the potty and I agree with naked from the waist down for a couple of days.
And as Mary said...Patience! My girl got it then regressed but we are accident free for a long while now.
Good luck :-)

Sarah said...

oh wow, I think I'm the reader who wrote to you about Jamie Glowacki (or at least one of them). What other people said, patience, perseverance and positive reinforcement. I'm sure you'll get there!

Good luck.

Maisie said...

My advice would be to first look for signs that they are ready to make the switch (consistently using potty once a day or so, although still in diapers.) Then set aside a block of time to stay at home and really focus on the issue (which you are doing.) M and M's are a great reward (my daughters had fun picking out which colors they wanted.) Finally, be ready to accept that if you get into a real battle of wills, you may have to back-track a bit (flexibility and patience are key.) Also, you can read up on the different techniques (like having a timer go off, etc) and then keep switching them up as they loose effectiveness. This may temporarily consume your life, but try not to stress out to much!

Aim said...

3/4 days at hm- siting on the potty every 30 min (alot I know!) keep him in undies only. As he catches on dy 2/3 u can spread out potty trips (ie day 3- 45 min, day 4 1 hr) keep in mind day 1 will be frustrating- lots of accidents, but by day 2 he will start to catch on! Good luck!:))

Lauren Knight said...

That is great advice. It is how we trained our older two boys-- just rolled up the nicer rugs in our house or covered them with towels, and left diapers off all weekend.

We took frequent trips to the potty and when he would go, we gave an M&M as a treat and a high-five. Whenever he would have an accident on the floor, we just cleaned it up and ignored it. Positive reinforcement works wonders when your child is ready to train.

I also think it is key to not go back and forth b/w diapers and underwear, as this confuses them a lot. Plan for accidents. Pack a couple extra pairs of undies, pants, and socks when you venture out of the apartment.

Good luck!

EH said...

My pediatrician said that if a toddler successfully uses the potty even once, he's technically potty trained. From that point on it's just a matter of encouragement on your side and readiness on his side. Let cute Toby drive that boat.

Also, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Kelsey Ross said...

This is EXACTLY what my best friend did- and it WORKED! She had to be super dedicated that weekend, but both of her boys were potty trained by 2 years old. Pretty impressive. She did, however, find a few little tinkles around the house that weekend, too cute :)
I will use this method with our little one on the way FOR SURE. Go get 'em Joanna! (and Toby!)

Tanya said...

I used to do in home ABA therapy and when we would potty train our kiddos we would have a potty party. Usually this meant spending the day/weekend in the bathroom, but we would have the kids sit on the potty, and drink water/juice while reading, doing puzzles and singining. After sitting for about 20 min we would take a break for about 5-10 minutes, but our kiddo would be in underwear or naked and they could play right outside the bathroom. Or we just had them on a schedule where we sat them on the potty every 20-30 minutes for 10-15 minutes.

Positive reinforcement and praise is also super important! The kiddo would earn a preferred item or edible for going potty but they were not allowed to have it AT ALL any other time of the day. So if it was a small piece of chocolate they were working for, THE ONLY TIME they got the chocolate was if they went. We also implemented a backwards chaining reinforcement chart, so since Toby likes trains we would have a train and a little trail with stickers. The whole trail would be filled in (about 6-10) stickers with the exception of the final sticker. When they child went in the toilet we put on the last sticker and praised and gave the reward. Then as they continued to go more frequently they would have to go twice and earn two stickers and so on until eventually they would earn a sticker for each space on teh chart and then earn the prize.

Hope this helps! -Tanya

EH said...

My pediatrician said that if a toddler successfully uses the potty even once, he's technically potty trained. From that point on it's just a matter of encouragement on your side and readiness on his side. Let cute Toby drive that boat.

Also, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Courtney said...

Totally agree with the naked weekend. I did that with my daughter. Even if we tried just undies it would throw her off and she would have an accident. You can totally do it! It took about 3 weeks until I felt like she was totally solid and we could go out without me being in a constant panic. It's hard to have perspective, but just stay positive.

Natasha said...

We trained out 3rd child who is 26 months during Christmas holidays. It was great because we were able to be home and I left her be naked and we pulled the potty seat right into the living room. The hardest part was when we were away from home-- brought the little potty oin the car when we went to the grocery, church, etc and pulled over on the side of the road many times for her to go. She had one accident in panties and didn't like the feel of it, never happened again. I do put a diaper on her at night though. She will usually call out in the middle of the night for us to take her to potty but I like the night time protection, just in case.

My other 2 children were older when they trained (one boy, one girl) so it really depends on the child too. They just have to be ready.

Lucy said...

I'm not a mother - I'm an eighteen-year-old college student! - but I have a 6-year-old brother and when we potty trained him my aunt gave us some advice, as my mum had had me and my sister and was new to boys. If he ever uses an actual toilet, throw some Cheerios in the water and have him try and aim at them to sink them! Sounds weird but both my cousin and my little bro thought it was great fun, and it made them look forward to going potty!

allie said...

I definitely recommend having set potty times. I worked at a preschool for a long time and having set potty times (like every two hours) made it really easy for the kids who were just learning to use the potty to entirely refocus their attention on being in the bathroom. I remember one little girl was having a hard time with potty training at home, but when we put the distractions on pause and told her to just take the time to sit on the potty, even if she didn't think she had to go, she got it down FAST.

In general, I feel like it's really helpful for kids to have a new thing that has a routine built-in at first so that they get comfortable with it.

I hope that makes sense... It's surprisingly hard to articulate :D

Kathleen Manning said...

I helped potty train a boy I babysat. His mom asked if I was cool with the naked from the waist down approach. I said absolutely. Really, it's easier to wipe up the floor than change a gross diaper. That approach, along with a healthy dose of success M&M's, seemed to work. The key was consistency - as long as he was at home, no diapers, no underwear, no pants. It took a couple of weeks to eliminate all accidents.

Jane@Buzzmills said...

yup...I would agree go the naked route...or nearly naked...loose pants with nothing underneath...have him try often...remind him often and stay home for the weekend...or close to home...this is how we did it with both my daughter and son and my daughter was potty trained fully at 23 months, since our weekend spent at home...my son took a bit longer...ie. accidents occasionally and it took him/us about a month to feel comfortable with nightime, but he has been fully potted trained since 27 months. Oh, also...no pullups! Get some of those cotton training pants, they help make accidents less of an issue but they are basically just underpants. I added some cute little appliques to my sons and he totally loved that!! I think it actually helped b/c he loved to wear them! He still wears those at night, just in case, but regular undies during the day. http://buzzmills.typepad.com/blog/2012/09/funny-undies.html

Margot said...

We are reading Oh Crap! right now and are planning to implement next week. I've cleared nearly 6 days in our schedule to attend to the task. Did you buy the book? It's very easy to read and she discourages rewards/treats. Just a lot of praise and saying things like, "come, let's sit on the potty". It all seems logical to me. Glad you are giving yourself the long weekend. Good luck!

Jill said...

We are right there with you guys! We got our little guy a potty chair right before the holidays too, he was really intrigued, but we decided to wait to full on potty train until all of our holiday travel was over too. Now he's not too into it, of course. I've heard that you cannot force them if they are not interested and that they'll learn in their own time. This method sounds interesting though. Let us know how it goes.

Jill said...

We are right there with you guys! We got our little guy a potty chair right before the holidays too, he was really intrigued, but we decided to wait to full on potty train until all of our holiday travel was over too. Now he's not too into it, of course. I've heard that you cannot force them if they are not interested and that they'll learn in their own time. This method sounds interesting though. Let us know how it goes.

Danielle DeSantis said...

I don't have kids--but when I potty trained myself, my mother knew it was time because I started taking off all of my clothes and running around like a wild child. She said it was done in a week. Good luck!

Elle said...

I used this site http://www.3daypottytraining.com/ and I HIGHLY recommend the method. I have twin girls. We went for it right after their second birthday. One daughter was fully potty trained after three days and the other was trained in five days. We never used diapers again and have only had a handful of accidents. Good luck!!

Stephanie said...

Worked for us. Good luck. Just like most things in life, if you start a negative vibe towards the potty it usually spirals pretty quickly...lots of yummy sugary drinks you normally don't allow to encourage the need and Elmo Potty Time was also good. Good luck and stick with it.

kate reymann said...

We told our kiddo ten days in advance that the following Friday would be his last day in diapers and we talked about it A LOT. That Saturday, I put him in underwear and then spent the entire day cleaning up accidents - he peed eight times and missed every time. By Sunday we were down to three accidents and by Monday he was making it to the toilet pretty much every single time. Pooping took a few more weeks. Pooping is scary, until it's not, and then it is the most interesting thing in the world to talk about when you are three and four.

I also didn't potty train until he was nearly three and 1/2. He just wasn't ready until then.

Andrée said...

It took us forever with our son, but he has always been quite stubborn, so we let him get there in his own time. First we got him a bunch of new underwear with his favorite characters on it. We kept a bucket of plastic animals and cars next to the toilet (he refused to use a potty) and would keep him entertained with "puppet shows". It kept him on the toilet till he was ready and relaxed! Poops were scary for him, so we discussed that a lot. My husband and I would make a big deal about going to the toilet in front of him. Find out what makes Toby comfortable. Sesame Street has a cute potty training special.

Babs said...

Toby is just slightly older than my little guy, Stone. And we had a pretty laid-back, stress-free potty training phase. Stone is still having some difficulty figuring out the timing for his BM's (which results in him basically holding it and going to the bathroom in his diaper during his nap). We went pretty slow. When he started to show interest and used his potty a couple of times, we'd leave him pantsless every morning. After just a week or two he was going potty at home, exclusively. Then we started putting him in pull-ups and started introducing using the potty in public. Whenever we arrived somewhere and whenever we left. Then we made the move at his preschool. The first week in underwear, he did great. Had a little trouble telling his teachers when he had to go and missed a couple of times, but overall he caught on quickly. But then he regressed. He'd go up to his teachers and with a devilish grin tell them he was going pee pee in his pants. I'm convinced he did this b/c it was confusing to sometimes be in pull-ups and could pee-pee without wetting his pants but not in his underwear. We finally just made the decision to go cold-turkey & only use a pull-up during nap and at night and just bring extra changes of clothes when we left the house. Once we made the switch, he never had another accident. Immediately.

So my advice is no pull-ups/diapers at all except for sleeping. Just deal with the accidents with extra changes of clothes as needed. Also, really cute underwear designs goes a long long way. My little dude loves fire trucks and trains and he couldn't wait to put those undies on.

Good luck! Go Toby!

WhyNotMarie said...

Cutie!

I agree with EH.
- Don't force anything
- Or make a big deal out of it, be relaxed so it's not stressful for him.
- I am not a big fan of rewards and bribes at all but the sticker chart on the bathroom wall did help.
- For us (strong-willed child...) it wasn't a weekend thing but over a couple months but smoothly was better - when they are fully ready they just do it.
- Make wearing undies REALLY cool, just like daddy.
(My son kept pull-ups at night for a while. But by 2yrs 10months it was all done - day and night.)

Have fun :)

(I will say this again: I love your blog)

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Babs said...

Oh, we started in August and he was accident-free in October to just give you a time-frame.

Melanie said...

I honestly tried every trick in the book and nothing worked! My son started using the potty when he was ready and that was it! I think the key is to NOT freak out when he has accidents, it totally wrecks their confidence. I would just clean up the mess and tell my son "don't worry honey, accidents happen" and then cringe on the inside. I will say after he made up his mind to do it (almost a year ago) he never looked back. We haven't had to use pull-ups at night and we haven't had any accidents! So my long-winded advice is to let it happen. Before you know it he'll use the potty and never look back! Just be prepared for setbacks when the new baby gets here. That's going to be a big adjustment for Toby!

Andrée said...

Oh and put a sticker in the toilet and let him aim for it. So much fun.

Victoria said...

We also did the naked time - well no pants, anyway! Lots of liquids - including homemade popsicles! - and tons of encouragement. We gave 1 M&M for trying, 2 for peeing and a Hershey kiss for pooping. And we didn't harp on the accidents. I would be prepared that pooping is much harder for them and takes a bit longer, so set realistic goals. Help him point his penis down, otherwise you'll wear it. And expect pee on the floor. It will happen! Once he started to get the hang of it, we used a chart for pooping because he needed a lot of encouragement there. Also, prepare yourself for the immense cuteness of chubby toddler thighs in underpants. It's almost unbearable ;) Good Luck!!

Emily said...

I'm literally in the middle of this right now with my 26 month old daughter. Skip the pull-ups and go straight to underwear. 15 minutes after drinking she goes on the potty; otherwise it is every 1.5 to 2 hours we put her on it. She finally has started telling us when she has to go! No accidents this week. We are still doing a diaper for naps and overnight, but I may pull those soon. She has been waking up dry for the past few days. Good luck!!

The Ferguson Family said...

We started our son around 2 years old getting used to the potty, talking about it, and having him go along with us. He was scared/concerned the first couple times he pooped on the potty chair. After a couple of months, he was really interested in using the potty so we picked a long weekend and we made a BIG deal about going to pick out special underwear. For our son it was Thomas underwear. Then we constantly reminded him not to pee on Thomas, to pee in the potty; constantly asked him if he had to go potty; took him to the potty every hour; used a potty chart and kept a special surprise wrapped up in sight but out of reach for when it was full.

Everyone has their own pace, we were lucky. It took a few months to be completely accident free, but we are there and 2.5 years old (knock on wood). We still remember to praise him for using the toilet, reinforce that he is doing a great job, especially now that he can basically go on his own if the lights are on.

We went through a couple of different potty chairs and then realized it was more rewarding for him to skip the potty chair and use the regular toilet - easier clean up too!

Whatever method you use, it's important to be consistent and praise him!

Roo Magoo said...

we did not really need to do the whole " spend the days naked" thing. We waited until my daughter seemed to really grasp the concept of going in the potty, which was right after she turned two, then we sat her on it and she felt like a big girl, and would pee in it once in a while when i put her on it for a week. We put her in pull ups, told her they were for big girls and that she was one, and she just wanted to use the potty when ever she could. We did reward with jelly bellies for a couple of weeks. Highly recommend a reward. Also, highly recommend one of those seats you put on the big potty versus a small potty you have to clean and sanitize adter every use. Yuck! Good luck.

tawnya said...

WAIT until he's ready. If it's not until he's 4? So be it. Every morning ask diapers or undies and let the decision be his. He has an accident? Don't make a big deal of it and switch back to diapers for the rest of the day. Repeat the next day. Make it SUCH a non-issue. And don't use pull-ups. They become a crutch. They'll want to be out of diapers way sooner than pull-ups!

Ali said...

We used Jamie's method and it worked wonderfully. One thing that is pretty important is to spend time *before* the naked weekend talking about the potty, building up the new thing you're going to do, etc.
But seriously, getting Jamie's support through the website is a huge help!

Denise Thomas said...

let me first say, good luck. :)
We did go on potty training lock down, but we did not have him run around naked. I think that is probably a personal preference. It is helpful to practice with clothes on because pulling your pants down is part of the drill. Here is what we did:
1. stayed at home for 3-4 days
2. gave him lots of liquids throughout the day.
3. set a timer for every 20 minutes. tried to pee whenever the buzzer went off. a little trinket was given for trying- something more substantial if there was success.
4. when you finally venture out of the house. use the bathroom right as you leave and as soon as you arrive at your destination. carry a complete change of clothes with you including socks and shoes.

For my first - all of the above worked perfectly. With my second.....not AT all. [He wasn't potty trained until well after 3 and he did it himself in 1 day. Stubborn, you think?] Be patient. Most things we can control in their little lives, but a bodily function is not one of them. They will all get there...it just will be in their own way - in their own time. [AND don't be afraid to through out a pair of underwear if you don't have the energy for the clean up process.]

Erin Black-Mitchell said...

Still potty training my last one, but for both my kids none of the charts, treats, etc... worked. We just followed their cue of when they were ready and it has been pretty problem free.

Lauren said...

We tried the weekend no diapers thing with my son when he was just 2 in preparation for baby #2 and I really regretted it. He wasn't ready and I think it put us back quite a bit. With my daughter I put her on the potty before bed etc and she often pees. It helps that she sees her older brother do it of course. I definitely think the child has to want to do it. I would recommend going slowly with it. It will be less stress in the long run. Introduce him to the potty and let him get used to the idea. Good luck!

Unknown said...

Did the weekend, method also. My daughter is now 11, but at that time was inspired by a Jane Brody story in the NYT that espoused a similar method. You could look it up. The method worked for us, but that said my daughter was definitely at that magical "ready" stage, the stage where she could go in the toilet if she wanted to (which was usually in the dirtiest public bathroom imaginable - glamorous I guess) but needed the encouragement to use the potty ALL THE TIME.
You all can do. My son (older) was largely trained by his preschool. They told me just put him in underwear and we will do the rest. The lesson from all this - I think - is pick a path and stick with it. The child will get the message. It's seesawing back and forth that kids find confusing. Hope that helps. Good luck! It's worth the weekend of house-arrest.

Debs said...

Daycare! Having friends doing it is very motivational.

At night, I used a calendar with stickers. He gets to put a sticker on it the next day for a dry night. No fuss is made if an accident happens.

Julie said...

No matter what method you use, be sensitive to the fact that he might not be ready. We tried last summer with my son and he simply was not ready to do it. We kept the potty in the bathroom so he could see it and a few months later he wanted to try it. Because he initiated it this time, we were much more successful and he is now almost fully trained. He's still scared to go poo on the potty which I think is pretty common. That aspect of potty training usually takes more time than peeing on the potty. We also started with our guy sitting on the potty for a few months, and now he wants to "pee like Daddy" so we have just started with standing up. Be prepared for a few messy tries while he figures out how to aim correctly. I've heard of people putting Cheerios in the toilet so they have a target. We haven't tried it ourselves though.

VeronikaS said...

My mom (a Russian) started potty training my twin girls when they were 20 months old. They were either without pants on in underwear. One of the girls got the concept within 24 hours - we cheered and clapped and were very happy when she peed in the potty and she wanted to do it again and again. The second one - got the concept but didn't want to do thing according to us. She didn't want to use the potty for 2 weeks and when she did - she did it secretly, when no one was in the room - we'd just find a potty with pee in it. Having twins teaches me every day to remember the simple thing that each child is different. And I've heard that it's harder for boys.
Also, yesterday we got yelled at in Palisades Park in Santa Monica when one of my girls peed under a tree. A woman screamed with the top of her lungs: "You are disgusting! Has anyone else seen this - she just peed on the grass!" Lots of dogs happily pooping around and homeless doing it right into their pants because they don't have facilities were ok by her. My 2 year old was disgusting. Sigh.

J2 said...

Agreed on positive reinforcement. I did not use pull ups for my twin boys. They were just like diapers and did not make them uncomfortable enough to remove if they had to go.
Cheerios in toilet for target practice was a fave.
We potty trained in the summer. My mother in law's sage advice worked. They walked around the house sans diaper. When they felt the urge to go they ran straight to the bathroom. We only had one incident when someone pee'd on a plant :) good luck!

Robin said...

Naked, ring on regular toilet rather than special potty chair (cleaning poop out of a potty chair is NOT a happy experience), lots of praise, if it's a huge fight, wait another month and try again. Mine were girl (with constipation issues) 3 yrs, boy (with I don't want to stop playing to go to the bathroom) 3 yrs 3 months, girl (who was by god not going to be a baby when her brother and sister were so grown up) 20 months (but then proceeded to pee in the middle of Target, grocery store, park about once a month until she was 4). None were better/worse, and they were all night-dry within a week of being day-dry. No diaper during the day and diaper at night sends some pretty confusing messages, I think. Go Toby!!

sumslay said...

That made me laugh so much! Hahaha, glad you got through it, even if it did cost ya!

Nataliya said...

I think taking the diaper off and not putting it back on is great advice. That's what we did :) It might take longer than 1 weekend to be 100% potty trained, but it should get you on the right track. I would also try to limit outside activities for a couple weeks after that. Accidents outside the house, in January (think layers and cold temps) are not fun.

Good Luck

Heather said...

Oh! moms love, love, love to give advice. We learn all these tricks and then don't get to use them again - so we love to pass them on. I have two boys and two girls and it was different for each one but I usually potty trained in the summer so we could have at least one or two days running around with just a t-shirt on. Some kids potty trained in those one or two days others took weeks. But I always used a treat box - a little box filled with small treats and tiny toys and every time they went where they should they got to pick a treat out of the box. And like others have said, it is mostly about them being ready - as soon as they are it goes rather smoothly.

Sarah said...

How old is your son? Mine is 2 yrs and 3 mo, but I don't think he's ready. I'm trying to figure out when to start and what to do...but I am NOT letting him run naked because we have carpet and that is just disgusting. If I had hard wood everywhere it may work. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

c & b said...

DITTO!

margie said...

All kids and timelines are different, that is the one thing you can count on. Patience and encouragement are the two best things to have when trying to potty train, and third for us was the Elmo Potty Time video.

Sharon de Jager said...

Well my children are now 23, 21 and 15 so potty training took place centuries ago! but I'd say no to be naked all day. After all most of us do not spend days walking around naked at home. I would tell him you are training him to use the potty, put on a pair of training pants and ask him to let you know when he wants to 'go'. Leave the potty in the toilet/bathroom so that he can relate the bathroom to wanting to poo etc. There will be many accidents, but sometimes you can see when they want to go, they get that look. My children were potty trained within 2 months or less , no hassle at all! Time and patience, and consistency is the key. Good luck!

Pamela said...

Omg, that's horrible. There are some ... very overly zealous Santa Monicans in our city. (smh)

Jessie said...

3 day potty training method, patience, lots of undies, and 3-4 different types of rewards (as kids go for one thing one week and then a different thing the next!)

we did stickers, a star chart, and chocolate! read more here:
http://jdf-jjf.blogspot.com/2012/05/potty-training-losing-10-years-off-my.html

good luck!

lise prud'homme said...

I've tried few times with my oldest son, didn't work so well, until he was 2 years and a half and I could tell he was ready to try again. Funky stickers, happy happy dancing, applauses and patience and within few days he stopped wearing nappies during the day. The nights came a bit later.
Good luck!

Jody said...

According to the Usborne's A Guide to Potty Training, some kids wig out when they poo, because it's like losing an appendage. If you line toilet paper between the lid and toilet bowl, the poo will stay there for a moment before the weight of it falls into the bowl. Apparently that makes it easier for some kids.

One Dad I know took his toddler out to buy "fancy" underpants. Then they bought tons of juice. They woke up on Saturday am and started drinking juice like crazy. They were toilet buddies for the weekend, constantly peeing and high fiving each other.

tellmeastoryjosie said...

We're not to that stage yet, but my mom said training her second son was the easiest. She just sent him in the bathroom with his older brother so he could see what the deal was and learn by imitation. Using the potty is cool!

Katie Brown said...

You know I think this one of those milestones that is unique to each child and what parents are comfortable doing. My oldest son was really easy to potty train, but we went the pull-up route because he was so concerned about having an "accident". But, that being said, he was a little over 2.5 and very self-motivated to use the big potty so pull-ups were more like underwear for him then diapers. He moved on quickly and was in underwear well before he was three.

The thing is I've heard pos and neg experiences about pull-ups as well as the "cold turkey" approach. I truly think it has to do with the kid,what works best for their personality, and if they are ready.

Good luck and just remember you will not even remember how he came to use the the toilet in 10 years. Ha!:)

Chasing Emerald said...

Trust that it will happen and don't let yourself get stressed out!

Katrin said...

PRAISE & PATIENCE

The whole potty training fuss was not necessary. It just happened. We had the potty hanging around for a while, and one day she decided to use it.

@distract_me said...

I'm not a Mum, but my housemate has a (recently potty trained) two year old, and I toilet train older children at work (I work with disabled kids). So, stuff that's worked for me... Get Toby used to sitting on the toilet/potty all the time; praise him for being a big boy; try to make him excited about all the stuff...put a poster of his favourite characters (or whatever) in the toilet and get him to choose his underwear, go for lots of praise and enthusiasm when he sits on the toilet/potty, and especially if he goes! Emphasise that he's a 'big boy' now and he can go to the toilet like Daddy does... Just loads of enthusiasm, make it seem really special. To begin with, encourage him to sit on the toilet/potty regularly (as often as you need, even if it's every 20 minutes to start with), then work on him going only when he needs to (this part can take longer to come). And obviously do day times first, nights can take a bit longer.

Good luck! xx

Courtney said...

I have two nieces who are just about two years apart so they really wanted to my older niece to learn before my younger niece was born. That didn't happen exactly but they eased her into it and made it "fun" and gave her an M&M every time she used the potty. They never forced her to use it though. An M&M is a small bribery haha but it works! They also kept telling her that "there are no more diapers your size! You need to start wearing big girl underpants!" and would let her pick them out on her own which made it fun too! Good luck!! :)

Jillian Estabrook said...

That's what my parents did for me and my sisters! And well...I'm potty trained so it works!

Melissa T. said...

Here are some things I learned:

Go all in! No pull ups. Diapers only at naps and bedtime. Yup we did a lot of clean up, but our son seemed to get the message faster compared to friends who used pull ups.

Bribes work. We gave out 1 M&M for success. If he sprayed around the potty it didn't count. Once he got really good, we went to 1 treat/day.

We tried three different toilet seats. Our favorite was the small Baby Bjorn.

We saw friends with this cool magnetic toilet seat that you can fold down for little ones. http://www.homedepot.com/buy/bemis-nextstep-round-closed-front-toilet-seat-in-white-583slow-000.html

Good Luck!

Caroline said...

My sister waited until her children were interested in going on the toilet. She never forced it, they all decided at different times that they wanted to go on the toilet and not wear diapers. Her youngest was potty trained at 2 while her oldest wasn't until he was 3. But there were never any fights, it was on the child's time and that's what worked for their family.

Picking out fun new underpants was pretty exciting for them too :)

Shan said...

I don't know anything about potty training, but Toby's wispy hair is so cute I had to comment! Good luck :)

whitney said...

We definitely designated a full long weekend where we had nothing else to do to potty train our kids. They went pantless from the moment they woke up in the morning. And got a sticker on a chart for Number 1s and they got to watch a cartoon if they went Number 2 in the potty. Which, in our house, is an extra special treat. It was incredibly effective.

After the weekend, we made another chart and they got stickers on Accident Free Days and got a special treat at the end of Accident Free Weeks - like go out to dinner or a trip to a museum, etc.

Good Luck!!

Nantucket Daffodil said...

When we first started our son wanted no part. The dr. said stop, wait a few months and try again....worked perfectly. If they are not ready or interested....isn't going to happen!

Of course girls are different...stubborn and independent...they do it when they want to!

We kind of let our kids guide us on this. And we never even had one wet bed after they trained....no word of a lie....we were very lucky.

Of course, that little boy turned 14 this week. In the blink of an eye!

Good Luck!

(p.s. summer is easier)

Sarah said...

I nannied many little kiddos and potty training was a total challenge for me. My tips: naked totally works, if you pump them full of fluids and get ready to clean up pee, its not such a big deal. Hardwood floors also help a lot.
Also, reading books on the potty helps a lot to make them relaxed in the bathroom.

Lora Gellerman said...

I asked my mom this once. She said... she took me underwear shopping and let me pick out some of my favorites. We went home and washed them in a load of laundry together. When the underwear (Strawberry Shortcake- no doubt) were clean, she let me pick one out to wear. She told me that they were nice and clean and to try and keep them clean by using the potty. She was surprised at how well it worked. I really wanted to wear the pair I picked out in the morning all day- so I made sure to keep them clean. I should also note that my mom is really calm and doesn't make a big deal about things. I can imagine it was more of a conversation between the two of us rather than orders or rules. I'd like to try this with my children some day.

Ashlae said...

I'm a nanny for a family who did the no-pants method and it totally works! The little guy had a couple of accidents (to be expected) but he caught on by the third day. And then instead of letting him run around naked for an entire week, we put him in boxer briefs (from H&M), and he was SO excited to have underwear like his dad!

Hannah Murray said...

This is a little late for Toby, but I thought I'd give my two cents for people with little little guys (not yet crawling). Look into ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION ! Some people call it "infant potty training." It's way easier than it sounds and actually really fun I thought. Plus it enabled us to lose the diapers at 18 months without any real work. She was just waiting for me to put her in underwear! Check out www.diaperfreebaby.org .

Kate said...

There's a great chapter in the book "How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm and Other Adventures in Parenting" (which is also a fun read to begin with) on this subject. Good luck!

Abby said...

I potty trained my daughter at 25 months using the 3 day potty training method. Found here, http://www.3daypottytraining.com/
IT WORKS!! and, they guarantee it! Stock up on underwear, juice, m&m's and patience :) Good luck!

Jen said...

We used the royal throne (a potty that sings with the addition of a #1 or #2). Worked for us. Don't be tempted by pull-ups... they just prolong the process.

Maclean Nash said...

My parents kept the bathroom door open when they were potty training my sisters and I. That way it wasnt "private" and we could wander in asking what they were doing. It helped big time apparently!

Kelsey said...

Just potty trained our 3rd boy with the no-pants method. After a couple of days, they really get the hang of it, during the day at least. Night takes us a little longer. But I believe age and readiness is a huge factor too. We don't do rewards. We just talk about how cozy and clean dry underwear feels and give high-fives and "Yeah, Buddy!"s when he initiates going potty on his own.

Our girl was a different story: at 18 months she just asked to use the toilet and never looked back! Sigh.

Cheryl West-Hicks said...

We used the http://www.3daypottytraining.com/ method and it worked like a charm. My daughter was 22 months at the time and never used diapers again.
We have since had a baby and had a few bad phases as an attempt to get attention. However, this method comes with mentoring and the author helped me realize what was going on and how to stop it. Once we ignored the accidents they stopped.
I would highly recommend this method and my #1 tip is to never let them see an accident get a negative response!
It's all about the positive reinforcement!
Easier said than done!
I hope whatever method you choose goes well.

Erin said...

Hey Joanna!

I've potty-trained my two boys ( one more boy to go!). I deserve lots of medals and back rubs and jewelry. definitely recommend:

1. Naked from waist down.
2. Potty chair very accessible (in the living room)
3. Sitting with him every twenty minutes or so (read books, have a snack, drink a grip load of water).
4. Go cold turkey (besides naps and bedtime, stop wearing diapers/pull-ups completely).
5. Use the padded training undies when chonies are necessary.

Leah said...

Wording is key!
"It's time to try the potty."
Not "do you want to try the potty?"
Happy, encourage voice but matter of fact tone. Good luck.

E.B. said...

LOL!

Jo said...

We made multiple attempts with my 2.5 year old daughter as she seemed ready, but in the end it was clear that she wasn't and was just getting frustrated. We waited a few months and when she was about 2.8 months we tried the 3 day process. Day one she was naked from the waist down, day 2 we put pants with no underwear on her and day three she had both underwear and pants (she went to daycare day three). We had a chart that she added stickers to when she pottied which was a huge incentive (it wasn't when she was 2.5). We also had a potty she could access in the main room for the first two days and then she was introduced to a seat that sat on a regular potty. I say take the three day process and try what works for you (you'll know what might be the best incentive). She had treats and small gifts we were going to give her, but never needed them. She was trained after the 3 days and after 2 weeks no longer had any accidents. I think part of it was that we caught her at the right time for her. Oh, and girls sometimes train earlier than boys so don't panic too much about age details. Good luck!

my name is jill said...

the "3 day naked trick" sure worked for us!

J+H @ Beyond The Stoop said...

my brother says he let my nephew watch him pee, and my nephew wanted to "be like dad" and just did it!! he walked up to the toilet and took down his pants, haha. also, cheerios in the toilet and tell him to "aim" :P

megan said...

We used: 3 Day Potty Training

Start Friday, Done Sunday!

The Queen of Potty Training will share tips, advice

and secrets to potty training in only 3 days.

By Lora Jensen

3DayPottyTraining.com

3rd Edition

And it totally, absolutely worked. It was crazy and I didn't believe that it would (it's kind of the same concept - naked over the weekend - lots of drinking water - and a lot of "You tell ME when you need to use the potty" to put it in his court - so he feels like he's in control.). Good luck whatever you guys do!

megan said...

Sorry - I didn't mean to hog up that much space!

Anitra Sweet said...

going naked worked for us, too!! you can do it! ps. ditch the pull ups except for naps and night time!

Amie said...

good luck!! YAY Toby, so big!! ;)

http://herestohappinesses.blogspot.com/

Boston mama said...

Like others said before WAIT UNTIL HE’S READY. Watch for the readiness signs. It’s really tempting to give in when everyone else is working so hard to potty train similar age kids but it’s **significantly** easier to do when the child is ON BOARD. No need to have naked child running around the house peeing everywhere…No need to use pull ups, stickers, scorecards, etc. My now 4 yrs old toddler boy was potty trained at 2 ½. We went to the store one day and he saw these cute boy briefs and said “mama, I want to try them” so we did. He has had accidents since then. It’s part of the process. However, he looks forward to using the potty so much. He doesn’t have incontinence issues like many kids that I know due to holding peeing/pupping for fear of going potty. Good luck!

Anitra Sweet said...

also, have toby drink lots of liquids so he starts to recognize that feeling!

Ashley said...

Definitely agree with the mamas who say wait until he is ready! There is so much pressure to get your kid potty trained, but no matter how many cool stickers, m&m's, and positive reinforcement you give them, they just aren't really going to do it until it's the right time for them.

We were getting nervous when my daughter was 3 1/2 and wasn't interested or responding to our encouragement. Then one day in the summer she just said, "I want to go on the potty"! And she did it through the rest of the week without having an accident once. We went back to preschool in the fall, and all of the other kids were going through the same thing - they didn't seem like they were getting it, until one day they just did!

Whatever you do, just don't let it frustrate you. If you're putting a lot of effort into it and if either one of you are getting stressed out or disappointed, just take a deep breath, step back, and try again in a few months.

Our preschool teacher had some words to say that really put me in the right mindset: "She's not going to go to college in diapers". All kids get there at some point ;)

glenda said...

Think you should read this post on potty training in 3 days

http://www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com/heather/all-aboard-the-potty-train/

I think if Toby is ready you can do it!
Good luck!

Quiana said...

The naked weekend process worked for us after my daughter refused to keep her cloth diapers on around 20 months. We had first introduced the potty when she turned 1 year old as just her chair then slowly followed her direction to ease into potty training. She was PT by her 2nd bday. Of course night wetting still happens occasionally, but it's great to be able to go out and about NYC without dealing with diaper changes. GL!

Nina Leung said...

Yes, the naked weekend is a great idea! Actually, whenever you're home, get Toby at least bottomless. Keep his potty in the room where he's playing, too. Ask him every 30-45 minutes or so if he needs to use the potty. If he starts to get upset when you ask him, stop asking. You don't want him to associate bad feelings with the potty.

Also, if you're going to seriously potty train, you need to fully commit. That means no more diapers (except at night) even when you go out. Just make sure you bring extra underwear and pants for him. Always know where the nearest bathroom is so you can take him at a moments notice. With my son, I found that if you just let him stand on the seat, drop his underwear, he'll go standing up. Try it at home and see how he does. It makes going to public restrooms SO much easier!

In the end, Toby will decide if he wants to be potty trained. You really can't force it. Just praise him like mad every time he uses the potty and hope it sticks.

Good luck!!

Little Lj said...

From a purely practical perspective my mum always swore by potty training in the summer, when kids spend a lot of time out in the backyard, and letting them run around out there naked. It meant less clearing up/laundry as any accidents were likely to happen outside!!

Courtney Suzanne said...

LOL...I love the thought of "toilet buddies!"

My son just turned 2 yesterday. They are already putting the kids on the potty regularly at daycare, and he's peed a couple of times, but I don't think he's ready to train yet. I read that you can't fully train them until they are able to understand having to "go" and articulate it.

I've already told my husband he'll be in charge of the peeing-while-standing phase of training; I'm not going to go that far!

Little Hiccups said...

I have a two year old who is pretty much toilet trained at the moment. By that I mean that she wears underpants when she's at home but changes into pull ups when we go out (just incase). She does use the toilet when we're out but knowing the pull ups are there is a good backup! She is also still in diapers at night. When we started toilet training I made sure that we could spend the whole weekend at home. While I didn't strip her down naked, she did spend the entire weekend in a t-shirt and underpants. We had lots of little accidents on the floor (I wish we didn't have carpet everywhere!) but after one day she started to find it uncomfortable and worked out that using the potty or toilet was a good idea. I kept her potty in the lounge room, or whichever room she was in, so she could get to it as quickly as possible. If you decide to have Toby wearing underpants instead of being completely naked make sure you have a lot of pairs on hand. It's amazing how often they pee. You don't realise just how often toddlers go when they're in a diaper. I also think that having them in underpants rather than being naked is helpful as they feel uncomfortable when they're wet. In my experience this encourages them to use the potty rather than just pee on the floor.
One big thing that helped my toddler was the fact that she wants to be just like her 5 year old sister. Of course, this doesn't really help you so much ;) Does Toby have an older cousin or friend that he looks up to? My 5 year old was desperate to be toilet trained around the time she turned 2 as she wanted to be a big girl like her best friend who was already wearing underpants.
My oldest daughter really responded well a rewards system - we made a sticker chart - however my youngest hasn't really needed it. Having a dry bottom and being a big girl seems to be reward enough for her :)
Good luck!

Kate Parker said...

My best friend used the weekend strategy as despite swearing it was the crappiest weekend of her life, she swears by the process! By monday morning her two year old wasx completely competant in the day time and he was night potty trained by the end of the week!

a couple tough days is definitely worth a diaper-free kid in my books. Good luck!

catwing said...

We're still working on this with my two year old, but the naked thing didn't end up working for us. He was too interested in inspecting himself and then would rub his eye or something so that ended pretty quickly, but he loves being in undies. He doesn't have any character clothes so he thinks its pretty cool to wear Cars undies. I also thinks its important to stick to a normal low key routine where you're close to your house for 4-5 days. We started before the holidays and all of his routines got messed up while we were traveling so I kind of feel like we're back at square one!

Amy Lauree said...

Our daughter fought potty training but we finally made it happen. She was 3 when she was finally trained. I brought her little potty into the kitchen, and made her sit on it every 30 min-1 hr and set the timer on the oven for 2 min each time to make her sit there until the timer went off. If she went pee I'd wait longer to put her back on. Then yes, just in panties otherwise. At nap time it was back in a diaper and at night time until she got it. I had to find the best motivation to make her stay on the potty for those 2 min...for her...it was a soother (she didn't use one anymore, but she just liked holding it and then she had to put it away when she was done on the potty). If she went pee or poo on the potty she got a tiny reward such as a chocolate chip or sticker and lots of verbal praise! we would even call daddy or grandma and tell them so she could feel proud.
But it took a solid 2 weeks to establish when so many said it would take one. and going on a public potty is STILL a challenge because they can be big, loud, scary, etc.
She doesn't wear a diaper anymore at nap time and can hold it but we still put her in a diaper at night time just in case. She now will willingly go to the potty at home on her own but sometimes needs to be forced to go sit on it if she hasn't peed in a couple of hours.
It's challenging and can be frustrating but they will get it! Good luck!

Amy S said...

Do it! It worked for us! We just started one day and said, "No more diapers" and made the switch to underwear. It took my daughter, who had just turned two, a little over a week and we have never looked back! (She was not naked the whole week :) )

sarah said...

my advice is to let him tell you when he is ready. one day my son told me "no more diapers" and that was they. seriously. when they are ready they are ready.

Christina said...

I pretty much followed the program from the book Pottywise, here:

http://www.amazon.com/Pottywise-Toddlers-Developmental-Readiness-Approach/dp/B0027CSNDK

The basic idea is that you "reward" for staying dry as opposed to going potty. The idea being that you have the control instead of the child. It worked really well for my twin boys. We did a bit of the naked thing too, and that worked as well, but my rug paid the price :-) I agree about the pull-ups dragging the process out, it feels too much like a diaper. We do still use pull-ups at night though, because they don't seem to have completely developed their "wakeup when I have to go potty" mechanism. One last note: I started on the weekend too, while my husband was out of town, and having mimosas fixings on hand for moi REALLY helped me stay sane ;-) Good luck!

Krista Dillon Hemming said...

I think this post has great advice on weekend potty training:
http://www.themoesfamilyintexas.blogspot.com/2012/01/potty-training-part-2.html#

It's certainly something i'll be trying when my little one is ready!

joolee said...

go straight to undies, cold turkey! he'll still be able to feel that wet/messy sensation without you having to clean up ALL the mess (which would happen if he was completely naked). good luck! every kid is so different, it's hard to stick to advice from others. but if you find something isn't working, scratch it and try something new. i absolutely LOATHE potty training, and need to gear up for it with my 3rd child this year...ahhh! hope it goes well for you and Toby. :)

Natalie said...

3 day potty training method. Worked for my daughter and one of my daycare little guys. I like the concept as it encourages you to be patient and wait for them to have an accident to learn rather than trying to go which can make them frustrated and not want to use the potty. You remind them a million and one times all day to tell mommy/daddy when you have to go pee. The lady behind it sells an e-book. My daughter was pee trained in a day and will wake up at night to tell us if she has to go (not always fun but great she's waking up!)

Most of all good luck and do what works for you and Toby!

l_r_ said...

I've potty trained two out of my three boys and here's my method:

1. Wait until they're really ready. For my older boys it was around 3.25.

2. Go cold turkey, except at night. Otherwise, it can be confusing for them and tempting for everyone to backslide.

3. Have them pick out cool underwear that they're excited about, get some new books from the library, and a few treats (we used jellybeans).

4. We never used those little potties, just the seats that go on the grown-up toilet. I didn't want to deal with emptying and cleaning the little one or transitioning them again to the regular toilet.

4. Don't plan to leave the house for two or three days.

We talked it up but didn't emphasize becoming a big kid, since they had mixed feelings about that, especially with younger siblings getting lots of attention. Lots of love and praise for effort. We had them sit on the potty regularly, read to them, kept it really positive. It helped both my boys to learn to point their penis into the toilet when they needed to go. Plus, less mess. My oldest son basically never had any accidents after that first weekend. My younger did for about a month and has very occasionally since then. All in all, it was an effective and quick method. Good luck!

Achterhof said...

We attempted potty-training our son when right when he turned three. It just wasn't the right time. 4 months later he initiated the transition and it was a pretty easy process. And then my daughter was ready at 2 years old so it just goes to show that every kid is different. I'm sure you'll learn after a few days of trying if it is in fact the right time. If it is, congrats! And if not, it will come!

kate said...

I agree about cold turkey. Also: Fill him up with juice, set a timer to go off every 20 min. when it rings, say, did you hear that? that's the potty bell! We have to go! Everyone within earshot must try. The rule applies to all, but the kid can choose whether he tries first or makes you try first. anyone who succeeds gets an m&m. going #2 might be worth a couple of m&ms. No m&ms unless something is produced! For going out and about, bring a folding child-butt sized potty seat in your bag, to make public toilets less huge, cold and scary. it will fit in a big ziplock in your tote. For suburbanites, I recommend a car potty, which gives another "control" moment to the kid--do you want to go in the store potty? or your car potty. I think for city kids you could use the personal seat the same way. One more thing re: undies: there will be accidents, involve your child, cheeprfully, in the clean up--putting soiled undies in soapy water to wash, blotting up carpet and scrubbing. This is not punishing, it's just a natural consequence--it will interrupt his play time, and will motivate him to avoid future accidents when possible. My first kid was 2 yrs and 8 months, very physically coordinated and I was epecting #2, it took less than a week, he was really ready. With #2 we decided to start a lot sooner--2 yrs & 2 months, since we had a method. It took more like 4 or 5 weeks, but life without gross toddler diapers was so worth it.

sara said...

It just dawned on me that one day Toby will be 25 years old and have this complete record of his mother's discussion of weaning him off diapers. Really of his whole life. It's so beautiful and mortifying. HIS FUTURE GIRLFRIEND'S MOTHERS MAY HAVE READ THIS.

So delighted.

Martha Mann said...

My only advice is to be patient and know that - eventually - it will work. I thought my twins would have some epiphany or something and it would be done, but even after they understood and were willing to use the potty, they didn't immediately switch from diapers to potty. It took probably a month or so before they were really trained. The other thing I didn't expect: once my kids were potty trained, they would often tell me that they had to go IMMEDIATELY when we were in the most inconvenient places! Children will keep you on your toes, that is for sure. Have a lovely weekend, and best of luck with it. Go Toby!

Danny said...

Release expectations!! ;)

sara said...

Do it. Nakey baby worked great with our first. Here's hoping it gots just as well with number 2

sara said...

Do it. Nakey baby worked great with our first. Here's hoping it gots just as well with number 2

Alicia Marie said...

Don't expect a miracle. Some parents get them.. I did not. My oldest potty training just like his personality. Consciously and slowly, figuring everything out at a slow pace. We did not push him. When I pushed, accidents. When I left him be, no accidents. My second (a boy) has verbally told me that he likes to pee on the floor and does NOT want to pee in a potty, regardless of the rewards. Obviously, we are taking a step back with him. Lots of talking, a few hours or so of nakedness (and clean-ups) but I won't push till he is ready.
My friends with girls had super quick results. My friends with boys did not. It was really a matter of them wanting to do it and when they were ready...no matter how sick and tired we mothers are of 2.5 yr old poop diapers ;)

Christy said...

ITA. 2 yrs old for a boy is pretty young, so don't get discouraged if it doesn't take right away. My girls started around 18-24 months, but two of them took about 6 months before I would say they were fully trained....lots of #2 accidents and one just didn't want to do it (she is very very stubborn). Naked or undies works, pick out his own undies helps, I am a big fan of positive reinforcement (jellybeans, m&ms, TicTacs, sticker chart, toy bag, etc). And yes, ply him with water and juice boxes and take a 5 min trip to the potty every 20-30 min or so.

Chandra Fredrick said...

My little guy started self-potty training at 20 months. I thought he must be a baby genius (of, course) but his interest was somewhat short-lived and we weren't great at keeping up with it with our holiday travels. So now to get him back into it at 26 months we've been using a "potty candle." Just find a little candle (travel candles work great) and matches. Put him on and encourage pee pee in the potty or poo poos (I tell charlie to make a toot toot (which he calls farting and knows how to do that, which sometimes helps make a poo for him). After he is done, we sing a little made up song about how "yay, he went pee pee/poo poo/tried to go, etc. in the potty!" and then he gets to blow out the candle. he loves it. So far he is doing this 2-3 times a day, and wearing pull ups. I'm not in a hurry, but it does seem to be gradually working. good luck. once toby is all potty trained, please share what worked - I'd love to hear! good luck :) and go toby!

Mom in Repose said...

Here is my best advice on Makaboo's site (go to Makaboo if you have not been. It is great.):

http://www.makaboo.com/Blog/post/Modern-Potty-Training-A-Crowning-Achievement.aspx

Laura said...

All good advice, so I won't reiterate what has been said prior. (All good, because if the variety of advice tells you anything, it's that different kids will need different approaches.)

So something new:

As a pediatric urologist, I see kids who have pathologic trouble potty training. From incontinence at the age of 15 to terrible holding patterns in five year olds. Obviously, there is no such thing as blanket advice, as these kids are certainly unique in their own ways, and I'm certainly not going to dispense medical advice over the internet!

But make sure your little guy isn't constipated.

Constipation can be the root of all evil, as far as I'm concerned, and it can make what was once a success into a dismal failure. Spend a couple days observing him. Make sure he has a good poop every day. Make sure he isn't grunting or straining when he poops. Check and make sure his poops are soft and not hard little pebbles. If he is constipated, you can use natural remedies (prune juice) or over the counter stool softeners. (We like Miralax, or the generic equivalent. It tastes like nothing (I know, I've tried it) and is easily mixed into a morning bottle or juice.) Poops of a toothpaste or peanut butter consistency that are easy to pass are ideal.

And use the gastrocolic reflex to your advantage. Ever wondered why it seems like you have to poop after a big meal? The gastrocolic reflex is the reason why. Some people are *really* in tune with this and others may never really notice. But try putting the little guy on the potty 15 - 20 minutes after major meals as well.

And never push if they aren't ready. I've seen those kids regress.

Alexandra Wright said...

We just went through it for the first time last weekend. Peter is 2 1/2 and also was ready before the holidays, but I think waiting made it easier. We spent the first day naked and sitting on the potty every 20 minutes (use a timer). One jelly bean for sitting and "trying", 2 jelly beans for a "score" on the potty, and 2 jelly beans plus a dollar store truck for a poop on the potty. We did it for 3 days adding in underwear the second morning and taking him off the timer half ay through day 2, with lots of reminders. It's amazing...once they "get it" and it clicks, there are few accidents left to happen. He's even staying dry most nights as long as we wake him for an extra trip before we go to sleep. And without shaming him, we are discussing any accidents and talking about how yucky that feels and how nice it is to just be clean and dry. And let him do all the pulling-up and dressing/undressing himself -- makes Peter feel like such and independent Big Boy!

andrea said...

Relax, that is my most important advice. It's is gonna happen. Put the potty in the bathroom. Explain what to do. Put a step stool next to the sink so he can wash his hands after. Also, pick out a pack of undies that he will think is cool. Pack extra clothes and wet wipes wherever you go. Don't stress and it will be a fun thing for you both.

andrea said...

I really did not do anything special, beside getting superhero undies. I think potty training is more difficult if you stress about it, or make a huge deal out of it.

lindsay said...

When I was little my parents followed the advice to let me wander naked so that I would have use a potty but instead I popped a squat behind the couch. It was actually seeing a friend my age use the potty that convinced me that I could too.

Clare Priest said...

If you time it right, it's nowhere near as hard as you are imaging it, but your child has to be ready or else it's veeeerrrry challenging and stressful for all involved! You'll know if its the right time as soon as you start training! If its wrong, just leave it a while then try again. Good luck!

elisabeth.ellis said...

I read through some of the comments but not all, so forgive me if this has been said already. I am also not a mother, so also keep that in mind, however I was just discussing this over the holidays with my mom and my sister who has a 16 month old boy. My mother claims that she potty trained all of her kids (myself, my sister, and two brothers who are twins) in a single day using a doll that wets itself and spending an entire day devoted to the training. She says it takes a lot of patience, liquid, and consistently asking if the child needs to use the bathroom. I suppose it's focusing on recognizing the feeling and also making the child feel special, but not necessarily overly rewarding. My mom also said that when we were in diapers she made a point to keep us as dry as possible at all times, changing our diapers as soon as they were wet, so that we would always know the difference between dry (comfortable) and wet (uncomfortable). She also said that once the decision was made we never went back to diapers and never wore training pants, so while there may have been occasional accidents, we were never made to feel as if it were more than just that, an accident. We also discussed this with a family friend who used this method with both of her daughters with success. I believe there is a book out there describing the metod and a cursory search led me to some instructions on dr. phil's website of all places. Anyhow, whichever method you choose, good luck!

Caroline Shields said...

We are currently working on the potty right now. We give 1 m&m for #1 and 2 m&ms for #2. We also talk about going all of the time. Sometimes in the morning we wear her big girl pants. We have been doing this for the past month and it has been working really well. She goes most of the time on her own now. So we are almost ready to switch from diapers completely.
I have heard from my cousins with lots of kids- that it is best to wait until the your child is ready (it WILL happen). Then you deal with less accidents, anxiety, and parent stress. :)

cindy said...

Good luck.
But keep in mind, even if the parents are ready, sometimes the child is not.
Your child will "tell" you if he is ready or not by showing interest (or not) into the process.

Respectfully,
Cindy

cindy said...

Good luck.
But keep in mind, even if the parents are ready, sometimes the child is not.
Your child will "tell" you if he is ready or not by showing interest (or not) into the process.

Respectfully,
Cindy

Allison said...

We did part-time EC (elimination communication) from about 2 weeks old, and then have followed up with lots of nude/undies-only time at home. Do not START with reward/sticker charts. Ideally this should be something your child learns to do for intrinstic, not extrinsic reasons. Most toddlers love to imitate what their parents are doing, as long as there's not too much pressure to do so. He will probably be interested as long as you remain matter-of-fact about the process when you introduce it. He might also enjoy helping pick out his potty at the store and some fun undies, so that he's excited about trying out these new things. The first step is always for the child to re-learn the awareness of eliminating and that's why running around naked is usually suggested. You can also do a shirt and undies if it's cold. Either way, they need to learn to associate the need to go with the results and wearing diapers interferes with that. Good luck!

steph2088 said...

My son potty trained early but then regressed and it took a while before he was ready to go at it again. I think that's the important piece, he has to be ready. It's unfair to make it be on our terms. Of course, we have to initiate it or they would never get trained (picture Toby at 18 with a diaper! boys!!!)
Have you heard about the game "sink the goldfish" put a goldfish (edible cracker type) in the toilet and see if he can sink it.
Good Luck.

figwittage said...

We let Zayn (turned 2 last Oct) play with the potties at Target, he loved playing with them. We bought the Arm & Hammer potty 3-in-1 and he just loves it! We don't give him stickers or treats because he doesn't need them, he just loves to pee in his potty. Also, I let him watch Elmo's Potty Time way more than I should have! It totally worked, he knew to wash his hands after he peed in his potty too. He also knows to hold his penis down so he doesn't wee all over the floor.

Fashionista Extraordinaire said...

Hi joanna! Potty training + boys=loads of fun and patience. For my 4 year-old peeing on the pot was the easy part, it just took a full week of commitment from both me and the husband. It was the pooping that was the hardest, which I realize comes later developmentally, however what I did was to create a Social Story, which included a story specifically about my son and him being successful at using the potty and how happy it made his mommy and daddy. It worked! We read the story everyday and night for about a month and it finally clicked. I never could fathom the thought of letting a naked, loaded weapon, run free in my home...Couldnt do it! Best wishes to ya!

sammyw said...

Just potty trained our 20 month old last week and you will be so happy you did! It took a good week of staying home close to her potty. Let them pick out there Big girl panties to wear. throw out the diapers (let them help!) put away the changing pad and all diaper essentials, so they see no going back! Set a special timer every hour and try. I got special stickers and a little pad only to be played with on the potty. At first we had LOTS of accidents but its been 3 days and all on the potty! We still use pull ups for nap and bed until she gets the hang of holding it. Good luck! Lots of praise and don't get angry or frustrated when they make mistakes they've only know diapers it will take a while to retrain them to use the potty!

Amy Parks said...

Honestly we did not really "do" anything. We picked out a potty together and explained to Jack that he was all grown up and from now on he was going to pee and poop in the potty. We would often take Jack to the potty to see if he would use it. And we got rid of the diapers all together(even at night)and that strategy worked for us. I think it was important to get rid of them all together to not confuse him. We had great success and just like that he was potty trained. As others have said he was ready. He was 2 years and 3 months old at the time. I was amazed that we even had success during the evening at first. We had many months of no issues during the evening but have since reverted to diapers at bedtime as we saw a change in sleeping habit and an increase in accidents. Best of lunck

MollColl said...

We successfully used Jamie's method on our 2 year old daughter and it was great! The weekend is a bit stressful (more so for the parents, I think) as you are basically homebound. She actually recommends a 3 day weekend if possible, so hopefully you aren't working on Monday! I have recommended "Oh Crap Potty" (her book) to friends and each have pulled different things that have worked for their little ones. Good luck!

Ashley said...

I just went to a "toilet learning" parent session at our nursery playgroup. Hudson is a bit young for the topic, but it was nice to hear what's coming. The instructor definitely advocated naked time so that they could be familiar with their bodies and its cues and know when they're wet, etc. She also wasn't a big fan of pull-ups (except for long trips, etc. when you really need to avoid accidents); otherwise, she liked the cotton "training" pants so that they still get wet and get the sensation. She of course also emphasized following their lead in everything including level of enthusiasm over successes. Good luck!

kristine said...

Hi,
I've been reading your blog for a long time.....I'm from Germany, now living on Hawaii. I have a 4 year old boy and it is really interesting to notice all those small cultural differences in parenting. As for the potty training, many parents in Germany don't really do it; I mean in he sense of a "training". We waited until Matti seemed interested and "ready" for it and kept announcing something along "peeing". We bought a potty, but he didn't like it, instead he loved this: http://www.amazon.de/Kidskit-Toilettentrainer-Kinder-Toilette-Toilettensitz/dp/B0090F0BEQ I guess it made him feel much more like a "grown-up". Also, letting him pick cool underwear made it easier (:
good luck! cheers, Kristine

Maria said...

* NO diapers at anytime, especially during nap time and night time. He'll wake up and get upset if he pees while he's sleeping. That's okay and that's normal. Just be patient ;)

* Buy underwear with cool prints; maybe with superheros on it, or cartoon characters, or anything Toby likes. IF he accidentally pees his cool underwear while playing or doing activity, he will be upset but I am sure he will try his best not to repeat it again... Sounds hard, I know! But it works :)

* Give him REWARDS when he tells you that he needs to go potty and ACTUALLY did. Give him like his favorite snacks, his favorite ice cream flavors, or stickers of his favorite characters.
(I do not recommend giving snacks or sweets or ice cream AFTER 5 pm, so always have stickers or little toys)

If you do this everyday, he will get used to it within 1 to 4 weeks!
My daughter took about a week, but I heard that potty training girls is easier than boys.
Good luck y'all!

KLB said...

I'm a preschool teacher, and I find that loads of praise and encouragement when they potty in the toilet is best. I don't like sticker charts because often the children value your praise just as much as stickers, and they can become overreliant on the stickers. I love the idea of keeping his clothes off all weekend! I also LOVE these potty watches from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Time-Watch-Blue/dp/B001AH8JNC. You can set them to play a song every so often (30 min, 1 hour, 2 hours) so the child knows to go to the bathroom. The quality isn't great (they break after a couple months), but usually by then the child doesn't need it anymore!

second floor dweller said...

We used the approach that you don't learn to walk in a weekend, and potty training isn't any different. We started very early - maybe just before the first birthday, and the girls would sit on the potty right when they woke up before getting dressed, and also right before bath (for just a minute of two). They did that every day until one day they released and the lightbulb seemed to go off. Once they did it a few more times and really knew what it felt like, we took off the diapers and they quickly figured out the timing part - getting there in time. The first kid was about 20 months old, the second one was about 19 months.

I liked it because it didn't feel like a boot camp, and I also firmly believe that most kids can get it a lot earlier than we ask them to get it these days - trust me, pull-ups are a major money maker for diaper makers! We had the benefit of watching friends with older children struggle with 3-4 year olds who just refused to do it - it seemed like a battle of wills. When they are younger they are typically more apt to please.

Night time is a different ball game entirely. Kid #1 was dry in the morning from 10 months on, Kid #2 wore pull ups till just over 2 - about 6 months after she was trained during the day. That seems to be something you just can't push as much - but once she was dry a couple of times in the mornings we took off the pullups and only had to change the sheets a few times.

I think potty training is more about the parents training - diapers can be easier than a newly pottying kid, but there's really no need to stretch out the expense and pain of diapers more than necessary.

Kelly said...

In NYC you'll want to POTETTE seat. You can find them on Amazon. They are priceless for moving around the city or being at the playground with a toddler newly in undies. They can be a seat or standalone. Also for the record, I found thinking of it as potty learning AKA a process helped.

shaunna russell said...

We did the three day no pants thing and once it starts it just "clicks" for them! HIGHLY recommend it. Its a miserable couple of days but totally worth it, and it's not drawn out for months!

Little Hiccups said...

Just one more thing... All kids are different and reach developmental milestones at different times. If he's not ready, don't push him. He'll be ready soon enough. :)

Jaime Rugh said...

I'm a big believer in waiting till they're ready- -and being as understanding as possible that sometimes they just aren't when you are... Especially boys... I waited till my daughter turned three using a lot mentioned above and she got it in a couple of days but my son wanted nothing to do with it when he turned three. We eventually stopped trying and by the time he was 3 1//2 he wanted to - expressed he wanted to and just organically "got it." Waiting felt right. I know a lot of people who struggle with it for months and months and the "training" seems never ending... I see this all the time with everything my kids do-- things like reading and writing... Being more social etc... When I push - & they push back- they regress because they're just not emotionally ready or whatever- but when they are reading - they just do stuff and its really amazing. The best piece of advice I ever got was to always respect my children and their worlds and I think it applies to every "parenting" scenario I've encountered thus far.

Jaime Rugh said...

I'm a big believer in waiting till they're ready- -and being as understanding as possible that sometimes they just aren't when you are... Especially boys... I waited till my daughter turned three using a lot mentioned above and she got it in a couple of days but my son wanted nothing to do with it when he turned three. We eventually stopped trying and by the time he was 3 1//2 he wanted to - expressed he wanted to and just organically "got it." Waiting felt right. I know a lot of people who struggle with it for months and months and the "training" seems never ending... I see this all the time with everything my kids do-- things like reading and writing... Being more social etc... When I push - & they push back- they regress because they're just not emotionally ready or whatever- but when they are reading - they just do stuff and its really amazing. The best piece of advice I ever got was to always respect my children and their worlds and I think it applies to every "parenting" scenario I've encountered thus far.

Lindsay Rondo said...

we did the naked thing too. gave him as many drinks and juice boxes that he wanted. Also, we set up a little jar of m&m's that he knew when he at least tried to go potty, he got 1 m&m. Going #2 came 5 months later but now at 2.5 years old, he is all potty trained! And for going #2, I bribed him with chuck e. cheese.

madameherve said...

so fun, this sounds (for me) really american.... ;-)

Michelle said...

I used Oh Crap Potty Training, and my son got it one week. And when I mean got it, he was peeing and pooping in the potty, and telling me when he had to go (for the daytime atleast). hardly any accidents since.

Scout and Rice said...

We are potty training too. :) I decided to wait until my girl could recognise when she needed to go to the toilet (every time I changed her diaper I'd say 'Oh you did a WEE!' or 'Oh you did a POO!' so she would catch on). One day she just started telling me before she went. So then I bought a little potty seat that sits on our regular toilet (the theory being that she has to learn how to use the regular toilet anyway, so it just eliminates the extra step of teaching her potty-to-toielt. Also, pottys are gross. Who wants to clean them?

So far it's going well - I take her to the toilet at regular times each day and she just goes. She'll often forget to tell me if she needs to go because she is busy playing, but she always goes if I take her to the toilet (even public toilets).

Good luck! Different things work for different children, don't be afraid to try a few methods. :)

Oh and one final tip that a friend suggested that I thought was clever;

Rather than giving your child candy when they go the toilet, buy them some train stickers. Each time they go to the toilet/potty, put a little sticker on the wall where they can see it. The idea is that there is a new carriage attached to the train each time they go, and they can always see how well they have done with the toilet in the past - rather than eating a candy which, once gone, they will forget about past attempts. If that makes sense?

Sandhya said...

My grandma potty trained every one of her 6 kids and 10 grandkids. When she decided we were ready, which was when we showed interest or understood what the potty was for, she would put us in undies and when we said we had to go, she would put us on the potty. It helps if you control their liquid intake because if you know you gave Toby a box of juice 20 minutes ago, he should have to go soon. It is essential to stay home, and it will probably take you more than one weekend. Toby is young, especially for a little boy, and he will take some time. Good luck! I remember when you announced you were expecting him :)

Unknown said...

When we potty trained our twin boys, we took them to the store and let them choose the potty that they wanted and let them just hang out w/ it. Sit on it, with their diapers decrorate it with stickers and didn't make a big deal out the entire process. They would go and we'd reward them w/ stickers in a sticker book. I did a total no stress aproach. They just figured it out and yes, we had several times when they would pee in the potty; (cheers from the crowed) and poo in their big boys before they walked away! Ha! Good luck, you will all figure out what works for him and it will happen.

Suzanne Fletcher said...

I have only sketchy memories of potty-training my children (there are three, and the youngest is eight)that include lots of wet underwear and a boy who was harder than his sisters. I only know that no matter what you do, it will work, and he will be done. And then it will be time to buy those so-tiny-you-can't-believe-it newborn ones.

Erica @ Acire Adventures said...

My biggest advice is not to expect too much from him. My son is going to be four next week and still has accidents often (more than once a week generally). I have met parents who talk about how their kid was potty trained by 2 years, or 18 months and always have some sort of "secret". We've been working on it for 2 years now and tried everything and it can be frustrating, but he will get past it eventually. Having high expectations and getting upset with him generally makes him regress, so stay positive no matter how long it takes.

Also, make the potty fun. If there is a book he loves or some kind of toy or something that is ONLY for potty time, he will be more willing to leave whatever he is currently absorbed in and go to the bathroom. My son knows when he has to go potty, he just doesn't enjoy having to stop playing to go do it.

Grete said...

Yep - that website (and ebook from it) is exactly what we used when our son turned 2 years old & was telling us when he'd poop in his diaper. Now, at 28 months old, he's fully potty-trained during the day (and tells me when he needs to go beforehand without my prompting), and we've started night training since he's been staying dry through naps.

sydney said...

my child is perfect! no problems whatsoever ;) just kept him naked at home, never bothered with one of those kiddy sized potties, he saw all the other big kids going at his day care and voila! very smooth transition. lots of praise for his accomplishments and oops for the accidents. e was just a little over 2.5 to 3 yrs when i started with him. a very easy and smooth transition. he wet the bed only once! i was lucky.

Deann Anderson said...

yes, naked works.

des said...

we did elimination communication at 8months and were totally out of diapers by 1yr. I took tips from my mother who grew up in the Philippines, where they don't have older toddlers hanging out in diapers. we had a naked baby in the house for a week or so, so that i could learn her cues and signals, (sign language helped here) leg warmers came in handy. my life revolved around the potty for a bit but nothing i couldn't handle (i even kept a travel potty in the back of our car. offer the potty every hour, especially after naps, lunch, snack time..read a book or two or create a photo album of fun photos to look at and when she did go potty we did make a big deal out of it!

megan said...

Before starting any training we would watch for the signs that he had to poop (which was always in the am) we would take him to the potty so he could poop in on the chair. We also had our son naked whenever we were at home. When he would pee we would say "uh oh! Lets do that on the potty!" Once he was pretty familiar I started asking him when we were out in the public if he wanted to go potty. He resisted at first but then he started to see his friends using the potty while we were out so that definitely encouraged him. Once we took the big step of no more diapers while we were out I made sure to make bathroom visits often. We did not stop diapers completely until about 2 months before he turned 3. Our doctor discouraged us from the weekend potty training. He said especially with boys it can be a longer time to get them fully adapted. Good luck!!

fleur_delicious said...

that's genius! =)

Payal said...

We did the 3-day method and it worked. I'll admit, I was skeptical and really surprised how well the weekend went. We used stickers also as a reward since my daughter is obsessed with them. The few accidents we had happened a few weeks later when she was sick and not able to make it out of bed in time in the middle of the night. I used 2 fitted sheets with a throw away pad in between and on top so when we had the night time accidents, we were able to quickly strip the top sheet and she had a clean one quickly. Good luck!

Sigrun said...

I think the kid needs some entertainment on the potty, check this out, "the ipotty"
http://mashable.com/2013/01/10/ipotty/

Should have seen this coming...

fleur_delicious said...

my mother likes to brag about what an easy kid I was; I was the opposite of stubborn (and still am, a very strict ingrained respect for authority). Apparently, she showed me a picture of a "big girl bed" in a store catalogue and asked me if I would like to be a big girl and have a big girl bed like this one. I apparently said that, yes, I would like a big girl bed. She then explained that big girls do not wear diapers and use the toilet (my mother also didn't believe in baby talk! No "potty," no "pee" no "wee," etc!).

To this day, my mother insists that that conversation was the extent of my "potty training," and that following weekend, she and my father found a bed at a garage sale that looked like the one in the catalogue (we were pretty poor) and painted it to match, and that was that! Maybe it helped that my older brother was already potty trained? Who knows. I still can't get her to spill about the details, she swears the conversation was IT.

Janan said...

For my 4 I always watched for when they woke in the morning dry. (They didn't sleep with cups or bottles though.) That let me know they had some control. Then waiting for a several day period when we could be home and never far from a potty. All 3 girls and 1 boy were trained by 2, and I didn't find the boy any harder than the girls. I think that because people say boys are harder then parents wait longer to start, then the kids are more set in their ways and so it's harder. Within my extended family we noticed the pattern with over 30 grandkids that the older the child the longer it tended to take. (ofcourse there were exceptions:) Anyway, a major key for us was that if there was an accident I would still plop them on the toilet. Because after the basic skill was down usually accidents were due to them not wanting to stop their play. By still putting them on the potty they quickly learned that they'd still have to go. Make sense? :)

kiki said...

he's the modern Cody from Regis & Kathie Lee! :)

Karen said...

Potty Training is one of the toughest things moms go through, but you can do it! Give tons of fluids... Stay home... Accept the child will pee everywhere for two days... have 20 clean underwear for child to change into... have a timer and set child on toilet every 20 minutes... have rewards ready... chocolate works well!!! :) Wine works well for moms! It takes a good four days and then it will be over! Good luck!

Pixie said...

yep me too. do not stress anyone out during this. if he's not into it, just stop. I used to ask youngest son (Edward) if he would sit on the potty. He would say "when I'm three". and you know what? he pretty much trained himself from his third birthday. I've called him Edward the Adamant ever since!

Nancy Cavillones said...

For both my girls, I let them go around the house with no diaper. Sometimes they wanted to wear underwear but I found that a naked bottom is more effective, especially when it comes to #2. We also use a sticker chart for #2. x number of stickers=a small toy that they get to choose. So, if my 2.5 year old makes #2 on the potty 5 times (not necessarily in a row), she gets to pick a toy. Good luck!!

Lauren said...

I just remembered a great thing to have when you're out is a Potette. You can put it on a public toilet or stand it up on it's own (bags with pads collect whatever is needed to collect!). Helped me feel confident I could deal with a sudden need for a potty when out and about.

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=potette+plus&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=2137703711&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=572938896762328814&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&ref=pd_sl_6y6vo40m2n_b

Sarah said...

We potty trained our girl at 21 months with the oh crap potty training book and it worked a treat. She just got it straight away and even if it felt like taking out a newborn for the first few weeks, I think going nappy free cold turkey is the best way, as it just confuses their little minds otherwise. Good luck!

secretfragileskies said...

It's pretty simple - doesn't have to be complicated. Most importantly, don't tell anyone. As with nursing, everyone has a different take and this is your child. You'll know what to do. Children are smarter than we are :) I think the issues arise when you want it more than they do. I showed the potty (and the bigboy underwear) to each of my four sons and told them when they were ready to use it to let me know. They were all trained in a week when they were three years old - no struggles, no accidents - just stay close to home, they get distracted! Only one of the boys resisted but was smart enough to explain he wasn't in nursery school because he was not "potty twained." One day we were at the beach with my teenage sisters-in-law and their boyfriends. When the older boys went to the restroom, my son wanted to go with them. I guess when they got inside they saw that my son had a diaper under his bathing suit. All the teenagers had to say was, "Dude, you wear a diaper?!" My son took it off - never looked back.

Tovah said...

We have three kids. Our youngest is 8. The best advice I got from my oldest daughter's 1st AMAZING preschool teacher-- don't sweat it. They all get it. Some just get it later. The ones who get it earlier just have more accidents- so plan on taking a change of clothes in place of the extra diaper.

Enjoy and just do whatever you feel is right. It all works out in the end!

BrooklynKat said...

I was hoping someone would mention this! I have friends who swear by this method, and we're planning on doing this when our first arrives this summer.

GK said...

it always makes me laugh when moms encourage their kids and claim 'hero' status over things we do everyday. not because it isn't true, but because we all have such trouble feeling that way about our own lives. so, it's not just toby this weekend, it's you, too. you're a hero! it's your first time potty training another human. go you! do your best. i'm sure he'll be proud.

Nikki Mata said...

I must say; this is a really cute little man! <3

xo

Nikki Mata
http://www.thebellabordeaux.com

Schenck cath said...

Yes Go Toby, but not naked! I've read the opposite method (nobody lives naked, it won't work once you put his clothes back on, and you have to be prepared to pick up poo and clean the floor a lot!)Actually for both my son and my daughter, wearing cool underwear was a big appeal! (Thomas underwear? )
What I did with my son: first pick the right moment: at nearly two, he was getting upset when I picked him up to change his diaper, he was fed up with it and with having to lie down still instead of playing (you can roll toy cars next to the potty, it's more fun)
So basically I told him that I understood he was fed up with having to change his diapers, so we were going to stop wearing them, he could use the potty and more or less keep playing. He was trained in a week, we might have had 2 accidents.
The minute he was up, I put him on the potty in front of the Tv, once he had peed, I put on his underwear. Before we left the house, I asked him to go potty; if we were going for a long time, I had another potty and wipes with me in a backpack (sounds crazy but workded)and we would go to a bar/café (I live in France, they are everywhere)and he would go potty in the bathrooms there, and that was that! Very soon, I bought adaptable toilet seats for the house and one we carried. He turned 2 in March, and was potty trained in February (originally, I had planned to wait until summer, but you know what, we were just ready, and it was a piece of cake!)He stopped wearing diapers for his naps and at night about a month after this. I kept making him wear them even though he clearly didn't need them anymore, I just couldn't believe it!
On the other hand, my daughter was potty trained at 2, but a little too well, she could hold her pee for most of the day, and she would basically only pee at night... It was really hard to reverse (the bathroom where she peed had to be spotless, she refused to use the bathroom at school (pre K and K) She had diapers at night until she was 6. Now she's almost 8 and everything is perfect!!
So in a word, do what feels right for you (I hadn't planned any tactics, I just figured it out along the way!) and trust your kid, and don't make too big a deal out of it and it will be easy!
Ah and a last tip, once the diapers are off, they're off, don't go back or it will feel like failure (or that's what I've heard!)

Carlyree said...

Hi Jo! :)

My son was 100% potty trained (both #1 & #2) by 25 months after only about a week of me really 'trying' to train him. I am only saying this right off the bat (not to brag AT ALL) but to let you know that my tips might actually be useful.

For us, the key was complete consistency. As with discipline, consistency on the parents part is the most crucial rule. Once we began sitting on the potty, we were exclusively using the potty. So even at 2 AM, if he said he needed to go, no matter how inconvenient or perhaps seemingly untrue this felt, we had to go in & sit on the potty. That also meant we had to follow through at any given time in the store, restaurant, church, etc. No matter where or when (once we had started training) we would consistently use only the potty & trust him when he said he had to go.

The other main component of our success was using a (very homemade & honestly quite homely) chart. Since he was so little, all I had to use were stickers as a reward for when he had gone on the potty. Specifically, I used these little 'ocean creatures' stickers since our little guy loves sharks and fish that were literally from the dollar store. Having an assortment of stickers helped (sounds silly) but because he got to pick the sticker & actually place it on his chart himself, it was all the more gratifying to his sweet little 2-year-old self. I tended to let him pick out 3 stickers for #2 (since that seemed like a bigger deal to me:).

As he got really awesome at it, I'd occasionally take him to the store to pick out a little toy. For instance, once he went on the potty all week perfectly, we made a special trip to Target's toy aisle & let him pick something out. God bless his heart, he only chose a small little Cars toy. It was so fun seeing how proud of himself he became & of course, how undeniably proud we were of him.

Finally, we did use an adorable mini potty at first that sang songs when he went {which my beyond precious grandma (his great grandma, aka Gigi)} got for him. I think it was helpful because it was A) his size B) friendly & unthreatening & C) fun because it sang. Very soon, though, he moved onto our normal toilet because he happens to be a very tall little man.

Sorry for going on & on, it's just a topic I actually know something about & would love to be able to help others. I have to admit, the success we had was mostly because of our son's readiness and overall maturity. He made it so incredibly easy on us. We miraculously almost never had accidents. He could be a fluke child, but I think the overall key really is just consistency plus rewards. I hope you find any of this helpful. Good luck! I love your blog beyond words!!!

XO,
Carly

Carol said...

My pediatrician gave a lecture about this and the take away was: you can start at 2 and finish at 3 or you can start at 2 years 9 & 1/2 months and you'll still finish at 3. So relax and follow this advice : I did and it worked!

Stephanie said...

Webdid naked weekend and it worked for us.

Carlye Ignatenko said...

We did nudity for training our baby girl. It worked pretty well. When she got to the age where she was having accidents because she was distracted playing, we started a positive reinforcement system. If she went Mon-Fri without accidents we took her to the trampoline park as a reward. We didn't like the idea of rewarding her with treats (like a dog), and she LOVED the fun activities we did as a reward! It worked for us. On another note, she became VERY fond of nudity.... haha!

Ashlee said...

I just potty-trained my 3 year old brother while I was home from college over Christmas break. I managed to get him potty-trained in about two weeks. What we started off doing was taking diapers out of his day, and placing him in some cool 'big-boy undies.' I constantly asked him where it was appropriate to pee/etc and he would reply 'in the potty.' I'd ask if it was okay to pee in his big boy undies and he'd reply with 'no.' I feel like this little day to day mantra helped ingrain the idea.

When we first started out, taking him to bathroom every hour to an hour and a half was a pretty good idea. Just making him get into the routine of sitting and trying to go potty was helpful. Though, I won't lie and say that there weren't accidents along the way. Sometimes I'd feel discouraged, but we stuck with it and by week two it got so much better.

We let him wear his diapers at night initially, not making him go totally cold turkey (day + night) until week 2. I found that when diapers were totally taken away he started being the most successful! I made him a potty chart (piece of poster board in a color he picked out, sharpie, ruler, and some stickers). He LOVED it. Every time he went to the bathroom successfully, he got to pick out a sticker and place it on the day. Positive reinforcement has been one of the greatest tools!

Now he asks to go while we're out (ex: restaurants) and the accidents have been very minimal (only when he's drank too much before bed).

Hannah Murray said...

I have been so happy with it! Diaper Free Baby talks a lot about the different ways you can do it, which I appreciate. It's not all or nothing. We kept her in diapers (and she used them), so for us it was more about being comfortable using the toilet from 5 months on (instead of using it every single time). My big goal was to avoid poopy diapers once she started solids at 6 months. And we mostly accomplished that!

Hannah Murray said...

I love the point about intrinsic reasons and not using rewards. After skimming through all these comments (I already made my comment about the glories of EC), I feel so so so so so relieved that I did Elimination Communication and didn't have to deal with all this traditional potty training stuff! It's work either way (EC or traditional), but the EC work is fun and easy, and the traditional work sounds like a nightmare in comparison!

julie Thrapp said...

I agree with above. We have 4 kids--Rachel pretty much potty trained herself at 2 as did 2 of the other boys but they were 3yrs old. One of our boys took longer--he told us he loved his diaper but once he was ready he potty trained quickly and easily with few accidents.

roberta jane said...

hi joanna - can you share the best reader-submitted advice for those of us also starting to potty train? thanks!

Amy said...

My girlfriend just posted about her "bare buns" method, which is very similar to how we did it too, though we had the advantage of having done infant pottying, which I think makes potty training a lot easier. Here's her post: http://ourdailylegacy.blogspot.com/2013/01/potty-training.html Good luck!!

jamaica byles said...

Zero experience with potty training ( do puppies count?) but just had to comment on how very adorable your little boy is.Such soulful eyes! Heartbreakingly cute......

Meryl & Russell McLendon said...

Yes, we did the same and it was successful. Planned a weekend at home with no clothes on our daughter. Kept lots of towels handy and a couple of potty seats stationed so we could grab them quickly. It took about 3 days, but it worked. Lots of love & praise is good too! Best of luck!

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