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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Do or Don't: Honeymoon registry

After Alex and I got hitched almost three years ago, we went on a two-week honeymoon to Italy and Greece. To help afford our splurgy trip, we skipped the regular household registry and instead created a honeymoon registry. We signed up with buy-our-honeymoon.com (don't worry, guests never see the tacky name!). Then Alex and I spent a fun evening listing our trip plans, restaurants, hotels, even sun hats. Happily, our guests seemed to be into it, and it made our honeymoon possible.

Thoughts? Do or don't? You can see our actual registry below...

Here's part of our registry:
(The images above are faded because our friends and family bought the items. When they choose an item to buy, they just send the money directly through paypal, and then you save up for your trip.)

219 comments:

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plankface said...

Some friends of mine did this - I thought it was great! I was so excited to be able to buy them a massage for 2 at the hotel where they stayed. Any registry is, basically, asking for money/things - what's the difference if it's a set of silverware or a dinner for two?

Anonymous said...

When I first heard of these things, I thought they sounded fine. But when a family member actually used one, I have to say it just didn't feel right.

I want to give a wedding gift that will last and (hopefully) be part of the couple's daily life, not a the one-off that a trip is going to be. And reading through the list of activities we were supposedly paying for if we gave through the registry, their honeymoon sounded so over-the-top and self-indulgent. I wouldn't begrudge anyone a dream vacation that they could, you know, pay for, but seeing them ask for handouts to take one nicer than I'd guess most of their guests had ever taken left a bad taste in the mouth.

There was a lot of grousing among the extended family over that registry. It just felt very manipulative to a lot of us. And in the end, I noticed that not many seemed to give through it.

Anonymous said...

Really tacky! If you already have everything you need for household goods, aren't you capable of buying your own honeymoon? We're all adults here. If friends want to give you a gift, they will. I guess it depends on your friends but I would never tell my friends or family what to buy me for my "splurgy trip"

Fascinated said...

Totally tacky. This makes me appreciate more the cultures where the only wedding gift given is cash -- it's more honest! Don't pretend you're buying 2 sun hats for $30 or spending $20 on glasses of wine that are free on international flights.

But considering you're making money off everyone who clicks through to the buy-our-honeymoon site (it's not like you objectively mention alternatives), you're not beyond a little tackiness for the sake of making money.

Christy said...

I totally get why people do this, but I think it depends on your family dynamics/background. I think it would go over like a lead balloon in mine, who are super terrific, but not super worldly or cosmopolitan. Especially older family members...many have never been on a plane, let alone left the country...asking for a $200 couples massage on the beach or a helicopter ride or yacht outing or something like that would come off as snobby and overly extravagent. Kitchen stuff, however, they understand. Not saying it's right or wrong, tacky or not, I think it just depends on some touchy cultural factors.

Anonymous said...

Who cares where the money goes? Either way you can spend whatever amount you feel comfortable with, whether it is on some boring household gift or something they will actually enjoy. I don't understand why people want to give gifts that no one wants just because that is what THEY want to give. If you think it is so tacky just don't come to my wedding and I will use the money saved to get what I want!

racherpeg said...

My husband and I did this and had tons of fun putting it together. It makes sense when you already have household items. I was afraid others would think it was tacky, but we got a lot of compliments on it. :)

Janice said...

Hi Joanna, I think the honeymoon registry is a great idea! but like many readers mentioned, I was worried about what guests may think. We also didn't really need household items but ended up registering because a few friends and family literally demanded we do! They didn't what to get us otherwise, even though we told them gifts were not necessary.

I'm very curious, do you know where the photo you posted with this post was taken? it looks like the Amalfi coast, but I'm curious to know the exact location.

Julianna said...

We did a honeyfund registry for guests who wanted to give us a gift because we just didn't want more STUFF. We had a small wedding of only very close friends and family, so we were definitely not looking to get money. I know for my close friends, I WANT to give them a wedding gift - even better if it's something they truly treasure. It's the random baby shower and bridal shower invitations with registry info that I don't like!! THAT always seems like asking for gifts - especially when it's from people I'm not that close to who know I won't be flying across the country for their baby shower...

We personalized our honeyfund by taking a chalkboard heart with us on our honeymoon and writing personal thank yous to those who contributed, for each thing they had gifted us (chalkboard thought/speech bubbles were a part of our wedding). For example, for people that contributed to a spa treatment, we'd have a photo of us with at the spa and the sign saying "Enjoying our spa retreat in ____. Thank you!!". We printed the pictures when we got back and sent our thank you cards with the photo expressing how grateful we were to have had their love and presence at our wedding. Our friends commented how heartfelt our thanks were. We did end up putting an amazon registry as well, just in case people didn't feel comfortable with something like that (the old-fashioned folk), but thankfully, not too many folks used it!

zoe.k. said...

Ha! We did the exact same thing, only we live in Greece and when we got married (a few weeks ago) we kindly asked our guests, instead of giving us presents, to help us make our dream come true: to visit New York. And we are now planning our trip for September :) Now, I don't find it wrong to ask for something more useful and I would totally recommend!
Cheers, from Athens, Greece.

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chloe said...

I'm in the process of doing this, except we don't want to put in specific things, so I'm finding it kind of frustrating, as the sites aren't really set up to allow for open ended $ amounts unless you just have a generic gift amount. We're registering at more traditional places as well for those who don't like the idea. Our site specifically says that we don't expect anything out of our invited guests except that they show up, have fun and take some silly photos. And we made sure to explain that our adventure registry is not about us asking to fund airfare and lodging, which we actually don't want them to do, but for our friends and family to choose bonus adventures for us while we're on honeymoon, thus if they choose to give a gift it's the gift of memories, and not a spare blender.

I'm not actually sure whether I should bother to run the registry on honeyfund

chloe said...

I'm in the process of doing this, except we don't want to put in specific things, so I'm finding it kind of frustrating, as the sites aren't really set up to allow for open ended $ amounts unless you just have a generic gift amount. We're registering at more traditional places as well for those who don't like the idea. Our site specifically says that we don't expect anything out of our invited guests except that they show up, have fun and take some silly photos. And we made sure to explain that our adventure registry is not about us asking to fund airfare and lodging, which we actually don't want them to do, but for our friends and family to choose bonus adventures for us while we're on honeymoon, thus if they choose to give a gift it's the gift of memories, and not a spare blender.

I'm not actually sure whether I should bother to run the registry on honeyfund

4utea said...

On the other hand, my hubby and I waited to touch (entirely!) until we were engaged -- since the physical attraction was pretty much a no-brainer, we wanted to be sure the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects worked. (And they totally did!)
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Julia Ionov said...

Such a perfect spot for honeymoon. All those lights and cottages, and the view, it really looks relaxing and romantic to me. Such a great place for lovers.
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lahodod said...

High mountains and blue waters and boats Lost in front of bright lights ..Creative exists only in dreams

sanam arzoo said...

these are all such great and thoughtful gifts! I laughed at your comment about the marriage day gift exchange, I recently mentioned that to my fiance and he refused to believe "it could be a thing.I seriously just love your necklace in those bridal photos. you create me wish i had worn one. it's perfect!!!! I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.A fantastic presentation. Very open and informative.You have beautifully presented your thought in this blog post. Wedding Gifts

Amanda J said...

i love this idea!! my fiance and i are getting married in sept and we included a honeymoon cash gift on our registry (through myregistry.com). we also included some traditional items from department stores so our guests have the option to chose (i know some people don't like the idea of giving money just for the honeymoon)... hopefully the idea will be well received.

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