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Thursday, May 03, 2012

Have you ever lived alone? Thumbs up or down?

We've talked about seeing movies alone and cooking dinner alone, but now let's talk about living alone...

Have you ever lived alone? Do you now? Almost half of households in major American cities are occupied by a single person--that's a lot!

Funnily enough, I've actually never lived by myself: I grew up with my family in Michigan, went to college with roommates, lived with many different roommates (and cats) in New York, and then Alex and I moved in together.

But TONS of my friends--both guys and girls--adore living alone. They say it's both liberating and peaceful; they're free to decorate however they want (no wagon-wheel coffee tables), talk or not talk, cook whatever they want, and do whatever they feel like. And you definitely don't have to pee with the door closed:)

When you live alone, you can also be as goofy as you want (think: drinking Champagne in the shower and jogging in place during TV commercials); there was even a New York Times article called "One is the Quirkiest Number." Writer Kate Bolick, who lives by herself, even has a home-alone outfit. "I have this pair of white flax bloomers that go down to my knee. They're like pantaloons. They're so weird," she said. "If someone comes over, I change out of them."
And what if you're married? The fascinating Elle article "Divide and Conquer" profiled couples who live separately and swear it's the best thing for their mariage. And remember this New York Times article about a Vermont couple who lived in two different houses, joined by a bridge? They say it's bliss.

So, I'm really curious: Do you live alone? Do you like it? Do you ever get lonely? Do you ever get freaked out sleeping in a place by yourself at night? Could you live apart from your spouse? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts! xoxo

P.S. A funny video about what it's like to live alone:

(Bridge photo by Trevor Tondro for the New York Times. Video via Michelle)

303 comments:

1 – 200 of 303   Newer›   Newest»
Olga said...

I've never lived alone and I don't think I would want to. It gets lonely!

Emily said...

I live alone, and have for the last five years. It definitely has its pros and cons. It is bliss to walk around in the buff, wear whatever you want, eat ALL of the food in the fridge, and have beautiful things you know no roommate would ever ruin. It does get lonely though. While I do not wish to go back to a platonic roommate, I would like to come home to a loved one. However, this speaks more to being single, than living alone.

Lindsey Arotin said...

I have never lived alone, either! Between cats, my sister, friends and my husband, I have always had company at home!
xo
Lindsey
http://lindseyarotin.blogspot.com/

Amanda @ Once Upon a Recipe said...

After living with my parents, then living with roommates, then a long-term boyfriend, and then going through a horrendously difficult break-up, I am presently living alone. (Well, not completely alone - I have a sweet little pup that keeps me company). I have to say, I love living by myself. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes, but I've learned so much about myself while living alone. And hopefully it won't be forever. ;)

Anonymous said...

I've lived on my own in both NYC and London for 4 years in my 20s and absolutely adored it. Once I became used to it I never wanted to have a roommate again. I move in with my now fiancé about 2 years ago and have adjusted to having him around, but it definitely took time! I had to remind myself to close the bathroom door and to not tweeze facial hair so openly. Also, eating popcorn with a half bottle of wine is not a normal dinner. Wouldn't ever trade the experience of living alone. It really taught me self reliance and how important alone time is for your psyche.

Prescott Perez-Fox said...

I live alone for a few reasons, but partially because I have to. Last year, I had a bad roommate situation and I had to find a place in a hurry. I had no other friends who could serve as roommates, I had no girlfriend to move in with, my family are too far away, and the time it would take to search for an apartment with people looking for a new roomie would have been too long (not to mention the process). So I'm kinda stuck by myself, which is an odd place to be.

Living solo can definitely be lonely. I stay in by default, and for the years that I was freelancing and working from home, this solitude was exaggerated. I'm working a regular job now so it's not so bad to come home to an empty apartment (and my cat waiting for me.)

The tough part, of course, is the financial end of things. In addition to the rent, I've got to pay all the utilities and for common household items. Have you seen the price of Windex lately?

I'll gladly live alone as an alternative to living with random strangers and the mad scramble of coordinating an apartment hunt with three people you kind of know from college, all of whom keep different schedules, but I'll be happy to move in with a close friend or some hypothetical lover.

MsAmanda said...

One of the best things I ever did was live alone for a year and a half between roommates and moving in my husband. Its really freeing to be able take a bath with the door open. And, its good lesson to be solely responsible for all the bills and household decisions.

Laura said...

I lived alone for about a year, though I was dating my then-boyfriend/now-husband and we spent an awful lot of time together. And I suppose my time in my dorm without a roommate could be considered living alone, though there were always people around. I liked being able to choose when I spent time alone and when I ventured out with people. But even now that I'm married and live with my husband, there's very little I feel I can't do at home because I'm not alone. Maybe our relationship lacks mystery because of it, but there isn't much we won't do in front of each other, and we delight in each other's quirkiness.

ashley faye said...

i've lived all over the place, and I luckily got to spend two very lonely, cold, singular winters at my family's beach house in new jersey. although i felt so isolated and alone i am so glad i got to do it. i wish i could go back to that freedom at this very minute.

Emily Anne said...

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/things-ive-learned-from-living-alone/

i love this post about living alone. :) i've never lived alone... i get too spooked even when i know i'm safe!

AVY said...

I like being alone with just my thoughts, but not for too long. It's nice to know there's always someone you can call.

/ Avy
http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



Martha said...

I did have a single room as a RA in my college dorm for a year and a half, but I'd hardly call living in a college dorm living alone :) I went straight from college to being married, so I've never been on my own. When I have to travel for work, I hate sleeping in a hotel room by myself! I have trouble sleeping by myself. If I lived by myself, as evidenced by my single dorm room as an RA, I would be the most slovenly person. My dorm room didn't have a flat surface that wasn't covered in piles of clothes, laundry baskets, school notebooks....my husband complains that I'm messy but I'm a lot cleaner living with him than I would be by myself!

Ethaney said...

I don't know. I sort of feel like if you need to live apart while married in order to be happy...that sort of says something strange about your relationship. That's just my personal opinion.

Amber, theAmberShow said...

My husband moved out in January, and this is the first time I've lived alone (I turned 30 in March).

I'm posting this comment stark naked, eating peanut butter for lunch with a spoon, sprawled on my couch. I'm really effing comfy right now.

I miss the dude, but I'm kind of loving living solo.

Zana said...

I did. I liked it! When I get lonely friends can always come over, but most of the days I would just curl up under the covers, or read for hours and stay up as long as I like.

pam said...

i married for the first time later in life (i was almost 41). i lived alone for almost 20 years (after college until age 40). i loved living alone. i even bought myself my own house for my 35th birthday. living alone has its advantages (you never have to pick up anyone else's socks!) and disadvantages (no one but you is going to take out the trash!). now... i love living with my husband and miss him terribly when he goes out of town.

Silvia {Silvia Berlin Design} said...

I lived alone for years, but when I started dating my now husband in 2009, it was like a switch was thrown and I had major separation anxiety. I HATE being away from him! My favorite things is to climb into bed a few minutes after him, because his body heats up our sheets. That's weird.

I agree with MsAmanda above, living alone for a certain period of time is definitely a must in growing oneself... it's incredibly liberating to have complete autonomy.

Stephanie said...

I love living alone! And have for the past 5 years or so. I love having the freedom to walk around naked, go to sleep at 8PM, watch the channels I want, and have the temperature exactly as I want it :)

dizzy_izzy said...

I currently live alone and I LOVE it! I live alone because my roomate moved out of my apartment, it is only a one bedroom and her "room" was actually the living room. I love the video it reminds me of myself, I do talk to myself and pee/shower with the door open. I contantly forget to close it when I have guests over. My guests usually just laugh at me. Thank goodness! I love cooking and cleaning my own messes and watching or not watching whatever shows I want. It is great! I grew up with a large family and barely even had a room to myself. So having an entire apartment is liberating and exciting.

brooklynash said...

I currently live alone and have for about 3 years of my 29 year life. I have to say that yes there are positives to it (spontaneous yoga poses, not doing the dishes after dinner), but I actually find it very lonely!

I feel very safe where I am. It's just a bit too quiet for me. I remedy it by telling myself that once I "grow up and have kids" I'll wish I had this space back, which helps me to savor the alone time....

Trina said...

I first lived alone as a Peace Corps volunteer in Eastern Europe, and never went back to having a roommate after that. Even now, being in a relationship, I still like to have my own space--"a room of one's own," if you will (and I do feel lucky to be able to afford to do so). I've always liked solitude and always been a bit of a loner (which is why it still sort of cracks me up that I'm with a guy who's gregarious and charming)--so it feels good to keep my own place for doing my own thing, even if that's just reading or writing or taking a delicious nap after a hike or a trip to the farmers' market. The important thing is that it's at my own pace. As an introvert I find it essential to have this alone time for myself.

He and She said...

I've never lived alone. Always with family, friends and now my boyfriend. I have to admit, I do love having an evening all to myself every so often when he goes away for work. To be able to sit silently, take baths, pamper myself or watch trash t.v. is sometimes needed although I'd never give up living with Adam for anything. I think it's so much more fun to have someone around to laugh with, chat to and just sit with.

I have always been intrigued by those couples who have 2 houses next to each other such as Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter.

Great post and so interesting to hear other peoples thoughts. Although you've never lived alone do you think you prefer living with someone?

C x

mariclare said...

That home joined by a bridge reminds me of Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera; I remember when I learned about their home, I thought it was the BEST idea ever. I would LOVE for my S.O. and I to live in two separate houses joined by a bridge. It seems like the perfect amount of togetherness while maintaining your individuality.

Christina said...

I currently live alone. It was exciting, but for me a little scary. I have always lived with someone whether it be my family or college roommates, and I found myself having a hard time falling asleep at first because my mind was full of what-if scenarios that seemed scary to handle alone. I have since gotten used to it, and I am proud of myself for taking on something that was a bit of a challenge at first. Now I love it!

JEREMYandCHELSEA said...

I've never lived alone and it's probably for the best because I already am a home body, I would probably just never leave. And then I would probably end up being that old lady that lives alone with a million cats and is dead 10 days before anyone finds me.

Sad.

So all in all, I say it's good that I don't live along, even thought I know I would love it.

Miss Katie K said...

I think I would love it. I only live with one person right now and prefer that MUCH more than a group of people.

Miss Katie K

http://katie495.blogspot.com/

eriKa said...

I've lived alone for the past two years and love it. My first roommate was a nightmare, so it was a much needed change. Being able to come home, everything exactly where I left it, and lounge around in my underwear is really quite a privilege. I've only recently started to get lonely coming home to an empty apartment. It is pretty expensive though, especially at only 21, so when this lease is up, I'm moving in with a friend.

Elise said...

I hate living alone, but I'm not great with roommates. I really only get on with my husband the best. I'm sure kids will be great too but I have no desire to live with others. I'm scared to live without my husband though.

Kelly said...

I have never lived alone either! I took the similar parents > roommates > boyfriend route. Not sure I could live alone, a little too paranoid! Though living with someone certainly hasn't stopped me from being as "goofy" as I want (I sing + dance around the house virtually all the time, and not well)... much to my boyfriends dismay! ;)

Elise said...

I hate living alone, but I'm not great with roommates. I really only get on with my husband the best. I'm sure kids will be great too but I have no desire to live with others. I'm scared to live without my husband though.

J+H @ Beyond The Stoop said...

i did it once. not by choice though. it was in college during an internship, and there was nobody to live with in the city i interned (though i had friends at my fingertips). i hated every minute of it, and i vowed not to do it again...

....until i had the roommate from HELL at my first apartment in the NYC area. in hoboken. saying we didn't get along was a total understatement. she pulled passive-aggressive moves for EVERYTHING.

now, a REAL adult with a REAL job and a REAL life, i could totally do it alone, though i pray i don't have to... crossing my fingers my boyfriend (of nearly 4 years) and i stay together forever :D

Judy said...

A lot like Pam--married in my 40s for first time, lived along a long time, miss my hubby when he's gone. Loved living alone because I had tons of friends and children in my life. Loved being with colleagues all day and friend/kids at night and then home to my own place! Think learning to love your own company is a great, great gift :-)

Maggie said...

couldn't do it! i hate being alone, i get too scared.

Amanda said...

Would you consider writing a post (or a few) about living with roommates? I'm guessing a lot of your readers live with roommates whether they're in their 20s or older or younger and it would be great to get tips from you! I always love the other tips you share and I'm not even married or a mom! But I do have roommates and I know it has its ups and downs :)

The slow pace said...

I lived alone for a couple of months and it was nice sometimes... but I missed my wife. It was too much: I have moved to another country, new job, new house, new food, new everything!
I guess it is nice to have some time alone at home... but I think living with your significant other is the best option. For me is the best part of my life!

Anne said...

I've only lived alone in adulthood and I love it so much. I get to talk to myself, be as messy as I want, and I don't have to consult anyone before getting a pet or having guests.

But in 5 months I'll be moving in with my fiance. I have no idea how to live with someone else. It's the thing about marriage that scares me the most!

Claire said...

I live alone, but in a city where a lot of friends live within blocks... which gives me just the right balance of quiet/decompressing space and social options. I like it for all the reasons other people do- control over my space, freedom to eat/where/do whatever I want... but the reason I love it is because I'm really proud of being able to live alone- financially, and that my mind is in a place where I feel comfortable being able to take care of myself. While I hope not to live alone forever, it's nice to know I'm okay on my own.

Margaret said...

I was living alone while I did my Masters in England, but had to move back home with my family after (stupid economy and useless degree). I loved living alone, and transitioning back into living with others has been hard! I loved being able to be OCD without judgement. I could have everything JUST the way I wanted it! It did get lonely sometimes, but I really like being alone, so on the whole it was bliss.

RZY said...

In a way, I liken living alone to travelling- its significance in one's life varies from person to person. I personally love it and feel that it is very important to do it in my life because there is so much I learn about myself in the process.

I lived with a lot of awesome roommates in university but I much prefer being on my own.

laura fox gill said...

Is it bad that I do all the things single people do in that video even though I live with my boyfriend? it's just two people's laundry covering the bed instead of one!

x

tali said...

That video made me laugh :) As did Amber's comment! Funny, when I lived alone I would lock the bathroom door while I showered because I have a weird fear of being attacked while in the shower! Now that I live with my husband I pee and shower with the door wide open all the time! There is actually not much I don't do because he's there...I like that about our relationship.

Jessica Tholmer said...

I lived alone for four years and have recently re-entered the roommate life. I can honestly say I WAY PREFER living alone! It is the best. You can leave the house in a rush without worrying about cleaning up your mess because you're the only person who has to deal with it. You can listen to your music as loud as you'd like. You don't have to worry about your food going missing, you never have to discuss when you want to shower, you can do laundry in the middle of the night without worrying about waking someone up.

It is seriously THE BEST.

stephanie said...

I've never lived alone but have ALWAYS wanted to. After living with parent/siblings, then college dorm, then apartment with three girls, I'm now living with one roommate who is never home. It's so close to living alone and is the best living experience I've had. I'm hoping to live alone starting sometime next year -- can't wait!

amourissima said...

I live alone right now and to be honest, I find it lonesome. I've been alone for 3 years. I had a roommate for the 2 years before and I really enjoyed that. I do have a second room but now my father ueses it as a second office so he rents it from me during the day and it gone by the time I get home from work.

It's nice to have my own space but I still find myself somewhat lonesome and spending more time with friends or my boyfriend outside of my place then at it.

Nicole Scibetta said...

I really do think I have the best of both worlds. My husband is a firefighter and he works a 24 hour shift every 3 days. It's the perfect amount of alone time (I do all the things in that video, lol) then when he comes back it's been just the right amount of time for me to miss him terribly. When he doesn't go to work for a while I start to get irritated with him, then I realize, "oh yeah I haven't had my alone time in a while"

elizabeth said...

I always lived with roommates in college, but I've been living alone ever since I started law school two years ago. My at-home-life is pretty much exactly like that video. Don't know how I'd manage going back to sharing a space. But the privacy/freedom is worth the extra cost to me.

Victoria said...

I just cannot imagine not having someone else to be goofy with! It doesn't seem as fun alone.

Rachel said...

I bought my own place last year, after having lived with roommates since 17 (I was 24 when I got my own place). I am a very private person and I like to get my way, so it's IDEAL. I can schlep around, talk to myself, and do whatever weird things I want without worrying about freaking anyone out. I'm actually worried about the day I get married and have to move back in with someone.

Panda Head said...

I lived alone for pretty much my entire 20s, and I totally credit that time for my cooking skills (I'm convinced there's no better way to spend ALONE TIME), and also how to move a couch up two flights of stairs by oneself.
That said, I now live with my (six foot tall) husband, and I don't miss having to pull the stepstool out everytime I need something out of an upper cabinet.
Also, I haven't taken the trash out in three years (FOR! THE! WIN!).

Betsy said...

I've bounced between living alone and having roommates. Currently looking to move out to live alone again. I don't have any terrible roommate stories. I just decide I want to be able to do things like turn my kitchen table into my painting studio and never clean up my paints. There is an AMAZING book called "What We Eat When We Eat Alone" http://www.amazon.com/What-We-Eat-When-Alone/dp/1423604962
Which captures perfectly the romanticism of living and eating alone. There is a certain indulgence about living alone that I crave from time to time; leaving West Wing on constantly in the background for example. I've watched all 8 seasons at least 4 times now. I know that someday I won't be able to do these things whenever I want to so for now I'll have dinners of wine & hummus while sitting on the kitchen counter and talking to myself.

Heather said...

I *loved* living alone. I adore my husband and my son, but sometimes I could cry for how much I miss living alone.

Sabrina said...

I lived alone for years before I got married and I LOVED it!!! Especially when I finally bought my own house and had a whole house to myself!
I absolutely love my husband and baby, and I can't imagine my life without them.
I've had the best of both worlds and they are both equally awesome!

Kate said...

I've never lived alone because I'm too young, but I'm kind of looking forward to living on my own for a little bit because I can finally have some independence and freedom! But I suppose at university I will always flat with other people :)

Kate {Something Fabulous}
http://thesomethingfabulous.blogspot.com

{BESO HANDBAGS GIVEAWAY ON MY BLOG!}

Amanda said...

Hilarious video! It is interesting what a different perspective living alone can give you. - Funny to see that not all the quirky things I do are unique to me! ;) -- I have lived alone for a year and honestly, I adore it. I love not having to abide by anyone else's schedule, having uninterrupted sleep, listening to classical music in the morning, rocking solo dance parties while I cook supper, and knowing where I last put something (most of the time). While I have had wonderful roommates in the past, I don't think I will go back to having a roommate until I'm married. ;)

I think there is something liberating about living alone and it truly gives you the opportunity to discover who you are, have some quality quiet time and simply reconnect. I used to refer to myself as an extremely extraverted person, but now it seems like I value my alone time more than I ever have before! – It also makes hanging out with those friends you potentially could have lived with more special!

I think there is something liberating about living alone and it truly gives you the opportunity to discover who you are, have some quality quiet time and simply reconnect. I used to refer to myself as an extremely extraverted person, but now it seems like I value my alone time more than I ever have before!

major284 said...

I lived alone from my early twenties to early thirties -- it's not just been one year that I've lived with my boyfriend. I love living with him, but man, do I ever miss living alone sometimes. I really did love it, it was really nice to be so free and independent. I was recently at a friend's house and she had such a girly bathroom, and I wanted that back!

Christine said...

I've lived alone for the last 6 years, and I've loved it! I'm back in graduate school so I'm cutting back on costs and living with 3 others starting this fall. It's going to take some getting used to! I'll miss being able to sit on my couch in a t-shirt and undies, eating straight out of the peanut butter jar. ;)

malleka said...

Iv lived alone for 2yrs out of choice despite my parents home being a 10min walk away. I'm from bombay a city in india where property rent rates are out of the roof and no1 really opts to move out of their parents house untill marriage or if theyv gota be elsewhere to work. Fr me it ws a bold step but I think ever1 should experiance it, I got to know of a lot of responsibilties that we generally take fr granted when living with our folks..the electricy bill for example..and that if u forget ur keys, ur sleeping on the steps tonight!
It has its ups n downs..sometimes u get terribly lonely and talk to the TV, who is very often the only sound u hear if ur not talking to urself :P but on the upside, I got to appreciate the company of friends n mostly my parents. And walking around in ur fav girl boxers that cover nothing has its charms don't u think?

Anonymous said...

I lived alone for a little less than a year before I got married. I thought I would be scared and lonely, but to be completely honest, I loved it. No one else to clean up after. No need to tip toe around in the morning because I got up before them. The groceries were all mine.

I said that I would never live alone. I bought a house and didn't want to deal with roommates right before I got married. Best decision ever. I was past the stage of trying to see if my friends were easy to live with. To make up for the loneliness, I entertained a lot. Had friends over to watch our weekly TV shows, drink wine, and enjoy dinner parties, etc.

Cara said...

I lived alone in a gorgeous apartment with a sweet view in the city and it was amazing. I think that everyone should experience living alone at some point in life. You really do find out a lot about yourself when you live alone.

If you get lonely, call a friend to come over or go out. You don't have to be alone all of the time.

I live with my boyfriend now and to be honest, its a toss up which one I like more...

Mollie D said...

I love my husband, but I miss living alone dearly

Anita said...

I am going to live alone for my next year of college! I am honestly SO excited. I have loved both of my roommates in college, but I'm ready to have a space that I can really call my own.

Miss Mel said...

I've never lived alone, always with my parents or roommates! I think I would get kinda lonely if I knew no one was ever going to be home! By the way, that video was hysterical! I have friends who do live alone and I know that video is 100% accurate haha

missmelandmissheather.blogspot.com

Tragic Sandwich said...

I lived alone from 1993 to 2004, when Mr. Sandwich and I got married. There were things I liked about it--I could do what I wanted in and with the space, without regard for anyone else's preferences. But there were things I didn't like about it--I could get lonely, particularly on Sunday afternoons (I always find Sunday afternoons depressing).

But on the whole, the pluses outweighed the minuses for me. If I could go back in time and get a roommate, I wouldn't.

rachel kirk peterson said...

i am married and living with my spouse. often, though, i wish i lived alone. but if i lived in the bridge house, i would be at my husband's side of the house all day, so it would be a moot point! i think with these types of things, you usually crave what you do not have. great topic!

emkat28 said...

I've lived alone (with my cat) since I graduated from college in 2006. I love it! I appreciate the peace of mind that comes with knowing I can take care of myself and live on my own, but I am also looking forward to living with my fiance after we get married this August. :)

StephV said...

I live with my fiance, but he plays professional baseball...so from April-October, he goes on road trips for 6-7 days at a time. Lucky for me, we live close to the stadium, so when he he's playing at home, he's home with me. Sometimes I LOVE having the place to myself, but of course I miss him. He's on his first road trip now, and I've used the past 3 days to really buckle down on wedding planning with no interruptions!

Anonymous said...

This is my first living alone apartment. Before that, I have always lived with a boyfriend or with my sister. And while I felt like I could be pretty free with those people, I am absolutely loving living alone and I don't know how I will go back to living with someone. I can decorate exactly like I want, I can sing as loud as want, I make terrible jokes to myself or the plants. Sounds a little crazy, but it is just so freeing and refreshing. Even with my sister, who is my best friend in the world, I felt like I had to tone down the crazy. (Although she is plenty crazy herself.)

Annie said...

I lived alone for a year, after my roommate finished school and moved and before my now-husband moved to my city to start grad school. It was actually really pleasant--I could watch any embarrassing tv show I wanted, eat dinner inappropriately early if I was hungry, and never have to rush in the bathroom. The downside was seeing a mouse one morning and having no one to scream with.

Anna said...

That video is hilarious, but sadly so true. Walking to the laundry room with no pants because you left them in the dryer seemed so normal when I lived alone. I could have never done that with roommates.

Living alone is something everyone needs to experience. I loved it!

Amy said...

I lived alone for two years and absolutely LOVED IT. It was so wonderful to have such freedom. I moved in with my boyfriend three and a half years ago, and it's been great...but he also travels about 4 months per year, so I get a taste of living alone again. It's great for someone like me, who is super independent.

Celia said...

I've always lived with someone--family, college dorm mates, roommates, etc (it's probably because I live in NY--rent is brutal). But I'm actually going to live by myself for a few months this summer before my fiancee moves in and we get married! It's kind of my last bit of independence before I'm officially tied down. After living with two smelly boys for two years, it's going to be nice to "girly" up my own place. Hurray!

Red Panda said...

I used to live alone and loved it, but now live with my significant other. Whenever he is out of town, I get really freaked out at my house alone. I wish I could get over that and enjoy my alone time!

kendra said...

i lived alone one summer. my roommates moved back in with their parents (both were students) and i did most of those things in the video. I slept on the couch, and didn't stop even when they moved back.
i never wore pants. One of my friends lived in the nieghborhood and came over one day. I had left the garage open so he just walked in. I totally did NOT have pants on. It was pretty horrifying.

Anonymous said...

Thought I'd chip in, just because in the past week I finished my last university exam, got my first full-time job, and found a gorgeous (tiny!) apartment in the city! I lived at home all through university, but I always knew that once I left I did not want to live with roomies at all. I don't care how tiny my new little studio apartment is - it's shiny new and clean, free for me to decorate and use however I want! I can't wait!

unfounddoor said...

I lived alone for a couple of years between university roommate and now future-husband, and I LOVED it -- I stayed up late painting big canvasses in my pants or went to bed early if I wanted. I spent some Saturdays just reading and reading and reading, and some Sundays wafting about in pyjamas, listening to Andrew Bird and drinking Campari. I didn't have a tv and I listened to a lot of somewhat pretentious radio plays (hey. It was a phase.) I never has to wait for the bathroom, nor apologise for waking anyone up if I rolled in late after an evening with friends... Ah memories.
(I mean - I can do the vast majority of the above with FH, but that first flush of freedom? Ah:)

I guess: if you are an introvert, but can keep tabs on any tendency to over-hermitise (oh. And can afford. Rent be pricy) then BIG DO!

J.Mill said...

Thumbs up! I'm super introverted and need a lot of space to be by myself. I lived alone in college for a year and for a year when I moved to Chicago after college. It was a huge adjustment getting married and is now a huge adjustment when my husband's gone for a week at a time.

Leah said...

I LOVED living alone. I live in Austin which is a fairly safe and cheap place so I could afford the luxury. I miss it although my boyfriend is a great roomate. I could be as social as I wanted and then be able to go home to silence...or music, or whatever I wanted! No cleaning up after anyone elses messes but mine and the groceries I buy are there when I want them.
I especially miss living alone at the moment since my boyfriend's friend "came to visit" and is now here a week longer than expected...I feel trapped in my own home...

s.r. said...

I've lived alone since my mid-twenties, so it's been about 10 years now. I really do love it, so much so that I committed to buying my own home just before I turned 30. It's hard now to imagine sharing my space with anyone else. I've even joked that if I ever get married that my hypothetical husband and I will have to maintain separate residences. Still, there are times when I wish I had someone around to either pick up the slack around the house when I'm feeling lazy or convince me to leave the house when a weekend afternoon on the sofa is just too enticing (I don't really get lonely as I have a pet and good friends nearby). Then I remind myself that wanting a husband for the purpose of sharing vacuuming duties or reaching things off tall shelves without a stepladder isn't really "marriage" but "indentured servitude."

Breanna said...

After living with five roommates for three years, I live by myself right now. Although it does get lonely sometimes, and I miss being able to borrow clothes from people, I have become rather fond of being on my own. The absolute freedom is fantastic.

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

I ADORED living alone when any messiness in the house was my messiness (which was rare by the way) and I came and went without accounting to anyone and always had control of the TV remote and didn't dust or vacuum unless I felt like it and cooking was... COOKING? Heck. Who cooks when you live alone? BUT, I do adore being married now and living with the love of my life.

dmarie1517 said...

I live alone.....in fact, I just bought my first house....all by myself....of course, you can only count me living alone if you only count humans....I have a nine week old teddy bear puppy who lives with me.....

I like living alone....most of the time....true the responsibility of the house (the chores etc) all fall on me....but like you said, I decorate how I want....I don't have to share closets or fridge/freezer space.

What sucks is cooking for one...its never much fun....and neither is mowing the grass!

Vanessa Marie said...

Gosh I LOVED living alone. I don't currently, I live with my fiancee. But I have lived alone for long stretches of time and also with roommates and I'm just a little too much of a control and clean freak to live blissfully with roommates. I've tolerated them, yes, and have even lived with good friends and remained good friends :) But my very first roommate was a good friend and it caused us to end our relationship...granted I was 19 at the time. But it's still regretful that we both acted so immaturely.

Living with a partner you love is sorta like living alone but without loneliness! I still get to walk around in the nude, I pee with the door open, eat enormous amounts of ice cream from the carton, and he doesn't seem to mind :)And when I ask for my alone alone time, he also grants me that.

Sarah said...

I lived alone for a little over a year. If I could have done that and had a boyfriend, it would have been awesome.

Jenn said...

I lived in a studio (400 square feet) when I was 20. It was the best! I was busy with school, work, and a boyfriend, so I never felt lonely by myself. I also had an awesome neighbor who would make soup on cold days and bring me the leftovers. Man, I miss those days....

Lady Natalie said...

I've never lived alone, but I LOVED that article about the couple with 2 separate but connected houses. Think of all the thermostat wars you could avoid!

Paige @ Little Nostalgia said...

LOVED IT. I only had 1 year to myself in between finishing college and moving in with the man who is now my husband, but MAN was that a fun year. I could do whatever I wanted, watch whatever weird TV show caught my eye, stay up super late and crash on the couch.... Not that living with a partner is bad, but that total freedom was pretty nice.

olive said...

The most freeing and liberating feeling was when I bought my own apartment last October, at age 27.

I had it in my head that I couldn't do it alone; but then I realized, who or what am I waiting for?!

It is my dream space, with a beautiful patio. It makes me so divinely happy!

xoxo Jenna

www.oliveandclementine.com

sophie said...

i've never live alone but i'm going to do it by September

Luisa said...

My husband works in another city, so I live alone Mondays thru Fridays and honestly, it's kind of wonderful. Yes, I miss him and it's not the situation either one of us would have voluntarily chosen, but there's something really romantic and special about the excitement of seeing him on Friday nights and getting to spend the weekends together. I appreciate every single minute we have together. Then Mon-Fri I get to have my own life, see my friends, eat whatever I want for dinner and keep the apartment in whatever state I like. There's no arguing over whose turn it is to clean up or wash the dishes or make dinner or take down the trash - any of the smaller quotidian details that sometimes deaden a relationship. It makes me think a lot of marriages would last longer and be happier/more harmonious if we weren't forced to live together 24/7 for 60 years! ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi Jo! I've been reading for a while now and I haven't commented before, but how could I pass on this one! My boyfriend and I bought a flat together last year but he works away and so I live alone Monday-Friday. I love it.. I get my own space in the week and then company at the weekends. He's actually been away for 5 weeks and wasn't due back until this weekend but he decided to surprise me a week early. Let's just say that I was not impressed when I got home to find him here...all my 'quirkiness' out on show for him to see! Ha ha The video made me laugh so hard, it can be very embarrassing when you forget to revert back to you non-solo living ways!

Allie said...

I lived alone in a tiny studio apt for two years before moving in with my fiancé, and it was the best! I didn't have to look at dirty dishes in the sink ALL THE TIME like when I had roommates, could sing in the shower, and drank smoothies for dinner while watching Hulu in my underwear. It was seriously great, and I feel like I really "grew into" myself during that time - I was just really happy and comfortable in my own skin, moreso than ever before.

But now that I live with my soon-to-be hubby, I totally hate being alone when he has to travel for work ;)

Loulou said...

I lived alone for almost 2 years during which I met and became engaged to my now husband. So for 1/2 the time I had my own place we were each visiting each other's home fairly often. I had the cutest apartment on the top floor of a house, and a very decent landlord living on the main floor. The apartment had it's own little outdoor deck way up above the trees. I totally loved the experience of living alone, but am happier now living with my beloved.

Loulou

sumslay said...

I'm a firm believer that everyone should live alone at some point in their life. Confession: The part that scares me most about marriage is having to live with someone. :\ Not that I mind living with someone, it's just every time I've lived with a significant other, I think, "Oh my god.... what if this is it... and I never get to live alone again!!!" Next thing you know, I get the phobia and I'm done. I'm a big picture thinker, I guess. :P

Alejandra said...

I lived alone from my Junior year in college through to when my now-husband moved in--about 6 years total, and I loved it! I love being home alone (and since I work from home, it's like I sort-of live alone during the day until he gets home). I mostly love the silence, although I'm pretty much the same way I was then even though he lives here now (peeing/showering with the door open, laundry piles, sleeping with my laptop in bed, and all other weird habits included!).

ladyannie19 said...

I lived by myself when I moved to the city in a new state and different time zone. It was definitely lonely since all my friends were intially ones I made through work so I didn't have anyone to share my day with and that was the saddest part. I liked living alone for the freedom it gave me but I missed the companionship of having that close friend or family member around. I highly recommend it as a right of passage to younger adults though! :)

Anonymous said...

There was an article recently, I think in the NYTimes, about how couples that lived together before they were married were more likely to divorce later. I'm curious, how long did you and alex live together before you married? I'm moving in with my boyfriend soon after living mostly in dorm-like situations so I'm not sure I'll ever get to live completely alone!

E. said...

I live alone, and like it more than I thought I would! Would rather be living with my long-distance bf, for sure. And i don't imagine i'll change my "single" behavior - sharing those quirks is what true love is about, right?

www.voyage-on.blogspot.com

Kate said...

I've lived by myself in a one room studio for 5 years now and I just love it. I can basically make myself breakfast and blow dry my hair at the same time. My boyfriend and I are talking about moving in together this year (almost 4 years of living 40 minutes away is quite enough) and I have a lot of talks with myself about re-learning how to share space and chores. The thing about living alone is, I know where everything is! My cups go here, my cereal there, my towels over here, my bills there -- I know it's going to be a HUGE transition living with someone else after so long. But I'm really really excited :)

That being said, there's a couple a few blocks down from me who bought two houses next to eachother and connected them with a porch. Not gonna lie, it looks pretty great!

Kate said...

Also, to Anonymous (commenter #5 up there) - popcorn and wine all the way!!

Candice said...

Not only have I never lived alone, but I don't believe I have ever spent a night alone. Not in my childhood home, college dorm, sorority, my first apartment and my condo. I have lived with my twin our entire lives except for one semester in college) and we wouldn't have it any other way!

Meg @ Mr.C and Me said...

ha! I was just going to link that video if you hadn't already. so funny, so true.

The closest I came to living alone was the year in college when I didn't have a roommate. I was free to do whatever I wished in my room be it jump on the bed, sleep in 'til 2pm, run around naked, you get the gist lol but sadly, that same year I was also an RA in charge of a floor of girls so much my free "alone" time was spent with them. still a great experience though!

and after 8 long months of living in a cramped studio apt. with my husband...I sometimes daydream about that year when I was alone :)

thanks for yet another great post!
xo,
meg
www.mrcandmeblog.wordpress.com

Meadow said...

I moved out into an apartment on my own when I graduated from university and got my first "real job". I was freaked out and lonely so I had my bf move in with me, and it didn't end well. I figured he moved in because he wanted marriage, but it ended up not being the case. We broke up and then I lived alone for over a year. In some ways I really enjoyed it... I could do what I wanted when I wanted, and I had closet space to myself, etc., but it did get lonely... and I was scared every single night. I slept with a hammer beside my bed lol. The building is safe and secure but I am just a paranoid girl.

In that time alone I was also single, and getting over the mess of a relationship I had, so I think the time did me good. Not to sound lame, but the self reflection definitely did me good, and I knew I was tough enough to live alone.

Since then I have been in a relationship.. for over a year now, and we practically lived together from the start (but it's a healthy relationship, unlike the past one I described). I am glad I lived alone, but I am happy to now be settling down, on the road to marriage, etc. I wouldn't want to live alone again. I hate it when he isn't there (business trip etc)... especially at night.

Anonymous said...

Like most everyone, I lived with my family, growing up. Since then, I've lived with roommates, housemates, alone and, now, with my husband.

I think it should be a requirement for everyone to live on their own, for some period of time. How else do you learn that you can stand on your own 2 feet?? I feel sad for people who have not had the experience. They don't know what they are missing.

Katie said...

That video was HILARIOUS! I related, big time.

I miss living alone and have always wished I could have had more time on my own. I lived with my parents until I was 24 (unless I was away at school with roomies) and decided to just DO IT: got my own apartment. No boyfriend -- just me and my fat cat in a dingy basement studio apartment complete with a noisy radiator, massive waterbugs, and a fridge from 1965. But it was alllll mine. I moved in on a February day, and met my future husband in June. We became happily inseparable, but that meant no more solitude. We never moved in together, but if he wasn't at my place, I was at his.

Later, I realized how little time I had to be alone, really alone. After 3 kids and a dog, I frequently go back to those few brief months I spent alone and wish we would have taken things slower, enjoyed my solitude a bit more.

goodnightstars said...

I know myself too well and I would definitely not do well living alone.

Natasha and Jesse said...

I lived alone for about two months before I got married. It was nice not having to worry about dirty dishes being out or putting clothes away right away. But then again if I lost something I would be solely responsible since I was the one that moved it! I'm glad it wasn't for long because it did get lonely for sure.

Ana - Toil and Trouble said...

When I switched from having a roommate in my college dorm to having a single room, it was amazing! So when I graduated from college, I moved into an apartment by myself. I lived alone for a little over a year until a boyfriend moved in with me. Loving alone was great, and I was happy when said boyfriend moved out again... haha! Now I share a house with my husband, but apart from having to share the food, I still give myself pretty much all the same freedoms.

Alexa said...

I am 24 and have lived alone for nearly three years. I LOVE it!!

I'd always known I wanted to live alone at some point while I am young and the opportunity arose my senior year of college. Then, when I moved to NYC by myself after graduation, I found a studio and it continued. I am really looking forward to getting married and having a family one day, and I can't imagine not having this time to myself...it's essential to my becoming.

Emily said...

I'm the same as you, I've never lived alone. Which is funny, because I consider myself to be a pretty independent person. I went from dorms, to roommates to living with my boyfriend/husband. I always wonder what it's be like!

Mandy said...

After I moved out of my family's house, I moved in to the dorms, and I've lived with roommates ever since (mostly one of the girls I was randomly paired with in the dorms. It really worked out!). I'm moving to Austin to go to grad school, and I'm really debating the live with people/live along thing now. I think I'm going to get a roommate, just because I won't know anyone in Austin. It could get to be way too lonely without having someone around.

Danette Dillon said...

After college I lived alone and hated it. I got a dog and still hated it. After two years I just couldn't take it anymore. I moved 30 minutes away from work just so I could live with my housemates.

Although I'm not home very much, I would much rather live with someone than live alone.

Katie said...

Oh gosh, I've lived in a variety of situations and right now, it's alone.

I grew up sharing a bedroom, then a dorm room, then a 2 bedroom apartment in college and grad school, then with my parents, then with a roommate in her house, then in an apartment with another roommate, then she moved out and I was alone.

For about 2 months.

When my brother started living with me when he was working on rotation, so he'd be with me for 5 weeks and gone for 2. It was great because I got to experience having the whole place to myself with the knowledge that he'd return soon enough.

Then I bought a house, and he moved with me. Then he moved down his fiancee and they lived with me for 6 months and now, at long last, I am fully alone.

And it's everything I hoped it'd be. Sometimes, I wish there was someone other than my cat waiting up for me on the front porch for my car to drive up, but the freedom of letting go when I walk in the door is liberating.

I now have listed my guest room on airbnb to host the occasional guest and that serves as a nice bit of refreshment to an otherwise quiet home.

Best of both worlds?

Anonymous said...

I have lived alone for 25 years. I loved it for the first 8 years, now I hate it.

He and She said...

In addition to what I mentioned earlier ... I was just discussing this with my boyfriend and he says when he's alone he talks to himself quoting movies. I think this is hilarious because I never imagined him to do this and I thought I was the only crazy person who talks to herself when alone. Especially in the shower.

Thanks for making me laugh this evening. That video is hilarious and oh so true.

C x

marketa anna medas said...

:) this is funny:))))) thank , you make me laugh:) sure i lived alone, and now i love to live with my honey:) and sure i can pee with door open, anyway my parents are on visit. you know why? its about the music, put your music louder and nobody will argue:D:D:D:D

nuveasantoscobb said...

I love being married, but I LOVED living alone. Two seperate houses connected by a bridge? How perfect is that?

Diana said...

I am DYING to live alone! I'm definitely over having roommates, and I'm not ready to get married so I think this sounds absolutely perfect. My financial situation is the only thing standing in my way. If only, if only...

Jaime said...

I have lived with my husband for three years now, and don't get me wrong, I adore him. BUT I miss living alone. Only worrying about myself—cleaning up after only me, feeding only me, spending money on only me. Lucky for me, he travels a lot, and while I miss him when he's away, I secretly look forward to having a week here and there of complete me time.

As for separate houses, I joke about that but he doesn't seem interested.

Jaime said...

I have lived with my husband for three years now, and don't get me wrong, I adore him. BUT I miss living alone. Only worrying about myself—cleaning up after only me, feeding only me, spending money on only me. Lucky for me, he travels a lot, and while I miss him when he's away, I secretly look forward to having a week here and there of complete me time.

As for separate houses, I joke about that but he doesn't seem interested.

melissa said...

I've lived alone for basically a decade now (before that I lived with my parents, and then with roommates in college) - for several of those years I was married but my then-husband worked overseas; then we were divorced and it's just been me and the cats since. All that is about to change again (:D) and there are many things about living alone that I will NOT!! miss. (and some I will, but I think that is going to be just a matter of creating personal space).

The key is to have cats so you have someone to talk to.

VintageDanielle said...

I've never lived alone. Went from Living at home to living with boyfriend, now fiance, during college. I could never stand roommates. If I could financially afford it, I woud've love to try living on my own for at least a year.

K said...

I lived alone for four years (not even any cats!). It definitely had its ups and downs. When I was in a new city, it was enormously hard... I didn't know anyone so no one stopped by, and quiet in my non-working hours was deafening. But when I lived in Africa, it was wonderful... I had people stopping by all the time, but at night I had quiet peace of the place all to myself. I would watch DVDs of LOST episodes all night, bake bread late in the evening, play music and paint a wall (and leave all the paint out because no one was going to step in it but me). It was really happy.

Now that I live with my SO, I sometimes miss and crave my single living. Some mornings when he gets up very early and goes to work, I pretend like the house is wholly my own and my time is all my own and I selfishly love it.

Votre Amie said...

I lived by myself for several years after college, minus a year in there when a freeloading ex-boyfriend and nightmare of mine lived with me, and for the most part it was marvelous! I loved it!
I also had a cat then too and he was always a world of comfort when I was feeling lonely or sad.
I really feel like my time living alone allowed me the space I needed to grow-up {though not all of it was easy and fun}, and I honestly feel as though I wouldn't quite be who I am today without it!

x
http://iloveublank.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I moved into my own one-bedroom apartment by myself at the start of my second year of college. I've lived here for seven months now and I love, love, love it! I take classes at school year round and I need peace and quiet to study, plus I work part time and often have to stay for the closing shifts; when I get home around nine or ten at night chances are I'll be up until one or two in the morning before I finally get sleepy! I don't really worry about what will happen when I move in with someone one day, I'm very picky with my boyfriends and chances are if we get to that point he will have already recognized and accepted all my "eccentricities". (:

stephanie said...

After a really difficult time in my life I decided to live alone to prove to myself that I could handle life. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I proved a lot to myself and now I'll never have to be afraid wondering if I could handle things/living alone.

Sarah said...

I lived alone for years and loved it. My dog kept me company just fine :) Now my sister lives with me and well...I kind miss having the house all to myself.

Anonymous said...

I just bought my first home, by myself. I love living it in, I love being here and owning my own space. Sure, there are times when I think it would be nice to share it with someone, but most of the time I just love the independence. It was empowering to do by myself. And I cherish the quiet moments.

Arielle Wren said...

I lived alone for just over 2 years and I really miss it. It was so nice to have EVERYTHING the way I wanted it, to follow my own schedule, to not have to adhere to someone else's rules... I really hope I get to live alone again one day.

Aya said...

I was living with a wonderful friend in Beijing when she was transferred to Shanghai. I was determined to finish out the lease and live on my own.

It was a challenge but I loved it! I loved keeping the place immaculate, coming and going as I pleased, entertaining a male guest on the fly ;). I agree that the hardships of living alone are having sole responsibility and having to deal with loneliness. However, I had friends in the neighborhood and I think living alone made me more social and proactive than I am now. I relish my alone time. Watching a movie, while eating hodge-podge dinner in my underpants. Yes!

Margaret Lamar said...

I live apart from my spouse. He lives in California where he works and I live in Colorado where I'm finishing school. When he comes to visit, I have to dash to clean my house. When he isn't there, I live in the equivalent of a messy girls' dorm. I leave bras hanging up everywhere. I leave all my personal products out so I can to them easily. I sleep with my computer in my bed sometimes.
I usually wear sweatpants or yoga pants. Sometimes I wear capri yoga pants and wool socks. I have about 3 inches of my calf showing. Definitely not sexy! Super comfortable though.

saigon said...

king of my castle- briefly that would be it. the only ruler and the sole commander. heavenly

nadia said...

I loved living alone. In fact, I never lived with anyone (roommate or boyfriend) until I met my now husband. First time ended up being the charm!

xo Nadia

Megan C. Stroup said...

I live alone and I LOVE it. I'm 22 and a recent college graduate, so it's my first time living alone. Everyone told me I would be lonely, but boy were they wrong. I can be quirky, I don't have to worry about people eating my food and yes—I definitely pee with the door open and usually don't even wear clothes when I'm home. I read that same article in the NYT and actually blogged about it a few weeks ago:

http://megancstroup.blogspot.com/2012/03/quirks-of-living-alone.html

mosey said...

Fantastic post! I've never lived alone but have thought it might have been a nice thing to try out before I got married. I wouldn't want to live in separate houses from my husband. I love having him around. :)

deannagabriel said...

I lived with an ever-rotating cast of roomates in NYC for a while. It worked out well, until I got totally screwed. My last roomie and i were friends before we moved in together, then she just up and left me a "dear john" letter of sorts one day and I was left to foot the bill. Thankfully I could afford it, but I also decided it wasn't worth it to get another roommate and I've been living alone in 1br apartments ever since. It works for me. I'm incredibly independent. I like being able to come and go as I please, live in my own mess if I want, and know that no one is going to ruin my stuff. I don't miss having a roommate, but what I would like is some companionship once and a while. Sometimes it gets lonely, which is probably heightened by the fact that I am single at the moment as well. I do think, though, if I do get married, that I will definitely miss living by myself!

Ilaria said...

I lived alone for years and I loved it! I could invite friends for dinner or enjoy peaceful evenings reading on my sofa.

All changed when I met my boyfriend: our homes were a few blocks apart and we ended up spending most of our time together.

Nonetheless, I've been absolutely surprised when we decided to move in toghether: I used to think of myself as a "likes to live alone person"... until I experienced living with him: it's better I could ever imagine!

lcb said...

I lived alone for three years after college & in grad school. I was capital T terrified to do it, but it really was quite nice and I remember writing in my journal: "This is, God-willing, one of the last times in your life when you won't be living with a boyfriend, or husband, or children-- ENJOY IT." And for the most part, I really did.

The nice thing is that even though I now have the live-in boyfriend/future husband, we are both equally goofy and do our quirky stuff together :)

Jesse Nattamai said...

I lived alone for almost 5 years in my early twenties - and loved it! Family and friends were the only people concerned I'd get lonely - because I never did. I have a fond memory of drinking a bottle of wine, smoking a cigarette and singing sappy love songs in my living room after a break up. It was a revelation -- and I miss those days every once in awhile!

Cle said...

I've lived alone for maybe 1.5 years out of my 28 years. My parents are still married but live in separate houses about a mile apart from one another, and I've NEVER seen them happier. If only they had done this when my sister and I were kids!

Jin said...

I had roommates in college, lived with a bf for 4 yrs, and now I live alone. I actually like living alone. I don't have to clean up after anyone, I can wear what I want, watch what I want on tv, and have company whenever I want to. I also like not having to worry about people touching or using my things. For now I think that I will live alone until Im married or atleast engaged. I will never live with a boyfriend again :)

Luli said...

Yup I love it. I'm surprised you are asking this question. I assumed most women lived alone by choice. I love my apartment! I've been living alone since 21 and I'm 33 now. I also prefer to travel alone. I've traveled solo in Africa, Europe, North America, and Asia. What else? I've also dined out alone and loved it. I've also trained and ran marathons alone (minus the 20,000 strangers running along) but I have been in a serious relationship this past year so I'm pretty sure my living alone days are over soon. But only once we are married.

Linda Davidson said...

I lived alone in my late 20s and early 30s in NYC. There were some lonely moments and it was great learning experience. It really gave me a chance to learn a lot about myself, what I liked. When you are living alone you cook what you like to eat, you find your own decorating style. It was also liberating in the sense that you could do anything in the spur in the moment and not need to ask permission. I am married now and have a beautiful family and I feel that I was lucky to able to live a few years alone to find out who I am.

Linda Davidson
www.sharingthanks.blogspot.com

Kelli said...

I love living alone!!!!! It is my favorite favorite thing about living on the opposite side of the continent from my family. I have plenty of friends that I see but then I have this little home that is all my own. The perks: during a heat wave I once went 5 days without putting on any clothes (I wrapped myself in a towel when I answered the door to get my delivery sushi), nobody knows that I make entire batches of rice krispy treats and eat them all in one sitting on a regular basis, I go to the bathroom with the door open, I talk on the phone on the toilet because nobody is in the house to be grossed out, I sleep on the sofa (I had a roommate for a while and she thought it was weird that I only use my bed for sex and watching movies and cutting my toenails), I can watch Laguna Beach DVDs, I can eat spaghetti with cheddar cheese and bacon for dinner every night for a week and nobody is there to think less of me.
I love it. I jump ten feet in the air when I'm at my parent's house and someone walks into the room because I'm used to being the only one around.

Elizabeth Soule said...

I live alone. That NY Times article definitely made me think about what weird habits I might have developed in the past 3 years.

Anonymous said...

I lived alone for two years and loved it! That video is so true! But it makes you learn a lot about yourself. And now that I live with my boyfriend I appreciate living with him so much more! There are pros and cons to either (living alone or with a loved one), but I'm glad that I got to experience both - if I didn't, I'd feel like I was missing out on that experience.

MJB♥ said...

I've lived alone for 7years and loved every single minute of it. Now I live with my boyfriend, we've lived together for 7 months now. What a difference it is. Been together 3 years, then decided to move in together. Definitely an adjustment....good and bad. Loved the video, so true!

Natalie Meteoroid said...

I friggin LOVE living alone!! I grew up with my family then moved out with my then boyfriend for four years. When we broke up i moved out on my own and it has been bliss!! I'm currently in my bed fully clothed eating gelato out of the container with a spoon. I almost never feel lonely and dont think I would want to move in with anybody any time soon. ^_^!!

Steph said...

I love living alone, and my boyfriend does too. You aren't lonely, you have the freedom to invite people over or go out when loneliness strikes. Its so liberating to live by your own rules, and do whatever you want whenever you want.

living well said...

I lived alone for a little over two years before I moved in with my now husband. I loved it! It made me so much more independent and confident. It was also SO nice (especially after living with roommates) to have my own space. I love living with my husband though so I could never give that up.

andrea said...

I lived with my parents until I was twenty seven. I then bought a condo and moved out solo. I have a cat and a dog who keep me company, but I love living alone. I like the freedom and quiet and living how I want to live.
I dont think however, that I could live all by myself. I need the little fur balls here, without them I would be so lonely!

Anonymous said...

I have lived alone for 14 years, most of my adult woking life, and I love it wholeheartedly. I do not remember EVER being lonely; I have plenty of friends and family nearby. As long as I have someone to bring me Ginger ale when I'm sick, I will happily live alone for a long time to come.

Freya Lily said...

I have never lived alone but kind of always wanted to. In college, I craved being in a social environment so I never tried to live by myself. I hated being alone. But now, I wonder about it. But now I love with my boyfriend and HOPE I never have to experience living alone :)

Lisa said...

I've lived with my partner Dave for the last 3 years, but had my own apartment throughout most of my twenties. There is so much I adore about sharing a life with the man I love, and I wouldn't want it any other way, but I have very fond memories of my time alone as well. I left home at an unusually early age (at 17, before finishing high school), and worked, so I could afford my own apartment. Over the years there were some brief experiences with roommates (1.5 out of 13 years to be exact!), though if I had to refer myself to anyone, my recommendation would be to pick someone else! I make a very boring roommate, because I tend to hide in my room most of the time :) (I'm an introvert and need a lot of time to myself) and I can be pretty shy around others.
Some of the things I loved about living alone were:
- the freedom to be who I was/where I was at and to do whatever I wanted
- alone time after a long day of work
- decorating my place as often as I liked (without asking for anyone else's permission)
- being in control of my own mess
- not feeling judged for the way I spend my time (e.g. for being on the computer too much)
- not having to take consideration of others
- privacy

Obviously, a roommate situation is very different from a life with your significant other. With my partner I feel at ease and believe I'm able to be myself 98% of the time. I'm so glad to be sharing a home with him! And yet, when I look at those two houses, connected through a bridge, I can't help but think: "How perfect is that?" ;))

serene said...

living alone permanently is no fun as it gets lonely! but if you get to just stay home for a week or so alone, that is liberating! haha

breadbutterandjam said...

I chose to live alone when I moved for grad school. I've always had amazing, best-friend kind of roommates. And I miss that really special time, but setting up shop on my own was a really beautiful act of independence for me. Not only did I nest and make the apartment super cute and all my own, but I felt really confident knowing that I can create shelter and comfort for myself, by myself.

Christina H said...

I lived by myself between the ages of 24-33 (the last three years were with a cat). After years of living with parents who don't get along and roommate dramas I couldn't bear to live with anyone again! It was fine - I've never really understood people who are too afraid to live by themselves, travel by themselves, etc. They seem awfully codependent to me, but I'm an only child so I was always used to doing things on my own.

Suzabell Muses said...

LOVED my time living alone!!!!!! important for growth and my self development. Best thing I ever did was not to follow best friend and boyfriend (at the time) to Chicago for college and do my own thing through college until mid-twenties. A time I will never forget or regret. BTW heading to NYC with my 5 yr old in 2 weeks. Staying in Manhattan. We need restaurant idea in or around Time Square.....Fpr day out on town with just the two of us was thinking MMA and Central Park Zoo.....

crystal said...

I don't have enough thumbs to indicate how much I loved living alone!! I think everyone should do so for at least a short period of their life.

Iris Rankin said...

I thought it would be lonely to live alone until I actually did. Then I realized it was amazing. Now I live with a roommate, but she basically pays our rent to stay with her boyfriend, so it's the perfect mix of alone and not. Mostly, I still drink cocktails in the shower and do weird home exercises.

But I don't think I would live separate from my boyfriend. Since I'm in college, the roommate thing is nice now, but after that we're moving in and I think it will work out well. Then I'll still drink cocktails in the shower and do weird home exercises.

Lauren said...

I love living alone. I lived with room-mates in college and my boyfriend and I now go back forth between our houses. But there's something so wonderful about that feeling when you get home from work and you walk into a house that's all yours.

I worry sometimes though if I've gotten used to living alone for so long that when I do get married it will be hard for me to live with someone again.

Lauren said...

I love living alone. I lived with room-mates in college and my boyfriend and I now go back forth between our houses. But there's something so wonderful about that feeling when you get home from work and you walk into a house that's all yours.

I worry sometimes though if I've gotten used to living alone for so long that when I do get married it will be hard for me to live with someone again.

Anonymous said...

Hey! I live alone, have done for years, my places have been decorated exactly as i want, my clean laundry is on the bed, i eat scrambled eggs or cereal for supper, no t.v.
It has never been scary...it's hard to cook for one person and to lug wood to keep warm...hard on sundays but there is no way i would change the way my life has turned out...

L.O. Ratliff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Smith And Ratliff said...

I'm an only child, but I also lived alone for four years of undergrad. I live my boyfriend now, as you know, but I don't see why living with someone would stop the quirkiness! We drink plenty of champagne in the shower. ;)

RoOHOohoO said...

I've lived both with roommates and alone. Living alone definitely beats having a bad roommate. But a good roommate it's debatable. I miss hanging out at the fridge with my roommate and rolling on the floor laughing at the silly things we did. Living alone gets a bit lonely. But you always have the option of visiting people or spending time on your hobbies...I go out a lot since I have no T.V. so I come home to sleep, relax or eat :]

AlinaH_RD said...

I grew up in Eastern Europe in a small town with a lot of people. I didn't have my room until I was 14 and even then it wasn't really "my room". We had neighbors, relatives, friends coming in and out of my parents' house. No phone calls, just showing up unexpectedly. :))) At 25 I moved to US and... wow! It was terrible not having all those people around. I'm a very friendly individual, fluent in English... but never felt so lonely. Hated it then, dislike it now. I guess I just got used to it.
When I go back to visit I ask my mom to make sure her friends/relatives call before coming to visit. Not happening! :))))

alyson said...

I'm concluding my first stint of living alone. I lived with my parents, then moved in with a long-time boyfriend, then moved out to a place of my own. I enjoy it, but I must say it does get lonely. Although, I spend most nights at my partner's house, its a good feeling to have a cave of your own to come back to. Overall, the experience has been empowering to know I can make it and its been a great life lesson on how to be better friends with myself, but I'm excited to have a roommate.

Tiffany said...

Hahahaha! Hilarious video!
I can relate to Alina above on the lots of people at home thing. Maybe it's a European thing, although thank goodness we didn't have people just constanly showing up.However,I have never lived alone. I do a lot of things like watch movies, cook dinner, sip a coffee at a local coffee shop... but living alone hasn't happened yet. we'll see later with graduate studies and all ;)

Katie said...

I'm about to live alone for the first time -starting tomorrow! I'm excited!

Sara said...

I absolutely love living by myself. I'm an introvert and so having my own space is fantastic. I only get lonely when friends don't live in my neighborhood since I will forget or not think about calling people when I do spur of the moment stuff. Plus, I love not having to share my DVR.

Anonymous said...

I lived with 6 roommates during my college years and then when I went to graduate school decided it was time to live alone for a bit. I have never looked back! I love having my own place with no one to report to and the freedom to do anything I want with it. I surprisingly rarely feel lonely but I think this is because I live in the same city as my family and my fiance lives a short drive away as well. We are getting married this year and as excited as I am to start our life together, I'm also a little sad to give up my apartment!

How I Roll said...

I loved living alone. I also lived in an awesome part of Baltimore where there was good food within walking distance and I could eat whatever I wanted for dinner, whatever time I wanted to eat. I didn't have tv and I was really productive. I loved having whoever I wanted spend the night.
I didn't have any pets so that was the only thing I missed.
Now I'm married and so glad I live with my husband but I'm kind of glad we have different schedules so I can stay up late by myself after he goes to bed.
:)

Stephanie Hillberry said...

I've never lived alone and sometimes wonder if I would have liked it (I'm married now so it's not really an option...). I think it would be liberating...but lonely. I will confess that I like it when my husband travels. To have the house to myself for a few days is WONDERFUL--but then I'm always glad when he comes home.

Emikos Werid Unexplained thoughts said...

I loved the video so funny. I do that stuff at times. I was living alone but due to family problems i dropped a lot to help out so now i left but im living with a friend but its different. I guess because hes a boy I do not know but I miss being alone with my cats. I do not speak much so I gotta make myself say things.AHH! im not weird at all lol some days i want company some times i do not.

ElsaD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lexie, Little Boat said...

i really love living alone, and i NEVER thought i would say that! i think it's something people should experience. i think it's made me a better person!

Sam said...

I've lived alone for almost 6 years now and, though, I agree that the freedom of getting to do what you want to do when you want to do it is awesome, I also feel that there is no sadder feeling on Earth than loneliness. And, unfortunately, living alone for me equals many lonely moments. I suppose if I was a socialite, it would be different, but I tend to hermit and get stuck in my own little world and it can sometimes be a sad place. I DO know that if I ever get to be married, though, I will be incredibly appreciative of the companionship which is something I would have taken for granted had I not had such a long time alone.

ElsaD said...

This is a really interesting question! As much as I love to live on my own -I have been living alone for 4 years now!- I am currently in a very much loving LDR and I cannot wait to move to him! At the same time, I want to enjoy my very private moments with 'myself": cooking & enjoying my dinners after I come home from work, reading in bed, waking up and make coffee and a big breakfast...I love treating myself! My end-game is to reunite with my love, until that, I try to embrace my independence! I don't like to give advices...but I had to, I would say: 'embrace your reality, and keep dreaming! Dreams come true'!
XOXO

Mersey said...

Although I love alone time, I hated living alone when I moved into a single college dorm room for a semester. It can get really lonely! But I totally would jog in place during TV commercials!! That was my go-to exercise when I didn't want to get too sweaty because I would always strip down to my underwear to do it.

Lindsey Fyfe said...

Yes- 3 years in Los Angeles when I was between ages 23 and 26 (seems young now).

pros:

-Any music any time
-Teaching myself how to cook
-Inviting guests over and having the place look exactly as you want it to look
-having boy sleepovers as often or as infrequently as you want, without having to explain complex situations to inquiring minds.
-NOT sharing walls with anyone
-Fridge can look perfectly nice and arranged as you want, and stock ALL your favorite food.
-Nice bottles of whisky or bourbon last much longer :)

I relate to the quirky food habits. ha! I ate many of my "dinners" outdoor on the stoop. I also ate a ton of cereal!

Cons-

-I got a tiny bit scared any time someone knocked on the door (too many bad horror movies)
-Friday nights if you haven't made plans yet (no roommate to fall back on)
-Too easy to not talk to a soul all day.
-Coming home late if there was no parking avail
-Sat/Sunday breakfasts alone (if no plans made)
-in LA, there were always helicopter lights shining in the neighborhood- sketchy when alone.

xo

great post, thx!

katemakes said...

I loved the short amount of time alone but did go out an awful lot (this was pre-internet). Hated having room-mates. Though now with a husband and 3 kids in a one bathroom house is like having a whole lot of bad room-mates at times but I am never lonely.

Kaitlin McCafferty said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEK. I'm moving in all by myself for the first time ever in June. I'm having anxiety. But I'm excited. Hopeful anxiety?

kayla! said...

After great roommates, then a terrible one, then back with my parents for a stint, I've lived alone for almost three years and I LOVE it. Never would have thought that. Luckily I have a friend in my apartment complex so I don't feel TOO alone. But I can wear whatever I want, shower (and other bathroom things) with the door open. It's fantastic.

Briel said...

I live alone and I LOVE IT! I do have three cats but I don't count them as living with someone really. Before this I lived with my family and when I moved to LA I found a guy roommate on Craigslist. We lived together for 4.5 years and I wanted to move out for about 4 of those. haha Hopefully I never have to have another roommate unless it's of the boyfriend or husband variety. :)

Stephanie said...

I have never lived alone, but I love it when I am home alone. Then I am free to stare into space while eating peanut butter from the jar and singing Ella Fitzgerald songs in my best and loudest jazz voice. :)

elena prikhodko knapp said...

i lived alone:)) and i loved it
i did share so many different apartments and houses and some flatmates were cool some were not... and at some point i really wanted to be alone and live alone
found a nice studio and moved
it was just awesome! moved out of that studio only coz was relocating from Dubai to USA to get married:))

Taylor said...

I have always lived with a roommate, except for 1 month between roommates and when my roommate was gone for 2 months and I had to take care of her cat. While I liked living alone, I did get sorta depressed as I got pretty lonely. When my roommate got back I had to remember simple things like putting things away. I am pretty clean, but my roomie is super clean and I had to remember to put my glass or bowl in the sink, something I didn't really think bout when I was living alone. I like having a roommate & had to go the craigslist route, but made sure to "get to know" my roomie before making the decision. My roommate and I do things every once in awhile together, but were not best friends which I think helps because when I was rooming with best friends it was harder to get a long living in my opinion. I like my roommate's cat too because I always wanted a pet, but have such a busy schedule it would be hard so I can cuddle with her pet, but not have to worry about it when I go home to my parents or travel for work.

Cherry Blossoms said...

I lived in a sorority during college and it was so much fun and then moved and got an apartment with some of my sorority sisters after college. A few years later I took a leap of faith and moved to Phx all by myself. I was scared and lonely at first but eventually I found it to be a good experience in making me become more independent.

Jillian said...

I LOVE living alone. One of the many perks: the entire fridge space is ALL MINE!

Anonymous said...

There's no better way of knowing yourself than living alone! You learn about your own habits, likes and dislikes, you start to appreciate your own company.

I have many friends and I love to have them around, but sometimes it's nice to be quiet, hear the silence or even sing at the mirror (I love to do that on Saturday's mornings!).

Thanks for the usual greating posts! I'm from Brazil by the way and love your blog!

Ligia

Luna said...

Oh dear, you and I had the same train of thought this week. Loved it, miss it, but that was another time. Ahhh.

http://lunaheartslists.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/living-alone.html

Anonymous said...

This is so fascinating to me! Would love a post discussing more about the transition from living alone/with roommates to living with a significant other/spouse.

Patti said...

I live alone now (bought myself a condo!) and have for the past 11 years, since senior year of college. I have always found living with other women to be a challenge. When I lived with a group of my guy friends for a few months back in college I adored every moment of it. They were far less drama. I have to admit, most of the time I really enjoy the peace and quiet of living by myself. The fact that I have ALL closets to myself. And that if I don't want to wash my cereal bowl until the evening I don't have to. However, there are moments in time (like last week) when I really miss companionship.

Living apart from my spouse, when I finally am married, would be a whole different story. My boyfriend and I live 2.5 hours away from one another and because of transportation "challenges" we really only see one another at most a couple times a month. While this is all well and good right now, we both can't wait to finally share an apartment together. I'm not sure how people live apart when they're married. I'd miss hearing my man clicking away on his keyboard in the next room over. Heck! I miss that a horrible lot now!

Lisa said...

I lived alone for about 10 years and totally loved it! My last roommate was a psycho, and ever since that I really savored the peace and freedom of living alone.

One thing I learned was that when you live alone you have to make a conscious effort to get out and be with other people regularly, or else loneliness will sneak up on you.

I really don't want to live apart from my husband - it's all the little quirks of living together that make life fun! Otherwise it would just feel like eternal dating ...yuck.

Jen said...

only for a semester in college. i loved it! but i'm super frugal and it's cheaper living with a roommate. fortunately, for me i only had to do it for three years after college and i moved in with my forever roommate, my now husband!

Erika O. said...

I can dress funny, jog in place and do pretty much the quirkiest things while living... with my husband and two cats.

M said...

Thumbs up! I have lived alone and I loved it. Me being a very outgoing person living alone is no big problem - I never had a problem getting my self out to see someone or to invite someone to my place. There is something amazingly peaceful and liberating about having your own space and you can do with it what you see fit. Still it does not beat sharing your home with a loved one.

*M*

Dizzy Lizzie said...

I used to live alone before I got married and I used to LOVE it. It is everything you described and more. Now I am married and I live with my husband and I love that too! It's like a permanent sleepover. Fun! :)

Sara D. said...

Hi Joanna!

I just want to say that i really enjoy reading your blog!
Mostly because it is a good mix of the more serious matters and the more light-weighted stuff, and i think you are really funny!

xo

Celeste & Scott said...

I lived alone from age 22 to 26, and then moved in with my now-husband. I wouldn't trade the years I lived alone, but I also wouldn't trade my now-roommate!

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