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Thursday, July 07, 2011

What are your dating deal breakers?

Speaking of dating, do you guys have any dating deal breakers? :) My friend recently went out with a guy who wouldn't stop biting her while they kissed, and she woke up with bruises the next day! Isn't that straight out of Sex & the City?

Back in my mid twenties, when I was single and searching in Manhattan, I was riding the subway with a guy I was dating, and we were having a nice night, and all of a sudden he said, "You have the cutest little moustache." What?!?!? I tried to play it cool, but I was mortified. I laughed and asked him if he was serious, and he said, "Yeah, you have blonde hairs so it's hard to see, but you have a little moustache." I was so traumatized that I went home that night and shaved. Like a dude.

What are your dating deal breakers?

P.S. On a happier note, my first date with Alex.

(Photo by Corey Arnold)

227 comments:

1 – 200 of 227   Newer›   Newest»
Katie said...

Oh no he didn't!!!!

Erin said...

Oh my gosh, that's terrible! I'm glad you didn't end up with him :)

My dating deal breaker? Hearing a guy say, "I don't really read..." BIG turn off! My favorite thing to do is cuddle up with my boy and a good book or the Sunday Times.

Patricia said...

thankfully happily marrying a great man, but my DONTS are -no smokers. no looking at my chest when you speak to me. no talking down about others. no talking about your finances like you're a hot shot. no dirty sheets. and a semi clean bach pad is fine, but try to look like you can take care of yourself

http://www.pinkpeonieswithlove.blogspot.com

Joanna Goddard said...

yes! non-readers! good one! :)

Hannah J. Holmes said...

I think the mustache comment would have been a deal breaker for me too...oh my. haha.

baileythebookworm said...

I won't date a guy if he's not a reader. Or if his pick-up line is that he thinks I'd be cute in a Sailor Moon costumer (which happened recently) - I'm all for cosplaying, but I'm not a blonde schoolgirl!

aubry. said...

i just went on a blind date this weekend (thrown together by one of my blog readers.... making the whole story terribly unbloggable) with a guy who asked me what "i liked to do for fun in the city {salt lake city!}" since most of the things he liked to do were illegal... "like blow things up or shoot things in the desert".

we had a painful, PAINFUL 4 more hours wandering around the planetarium. FOUR HOURS AT THE PLANETARIUM.

new rule: first dates over lunch. one hour max.

Ashlae said...

What a jerk! If it makes you feel better, most women have a little "peach fuzz" - it's normal.

Dating deal breakers, hmm.. crazy moms. And grandmas. But mostly moms. Who talk about your wedding day on the second date.

Heba said...

oh that's not cool at all ,if i were you I'd definitely punch him on the face.

http://girlynote.blogspot.com/

Katherine Summers said...

Republicans. And smokers. But mostly Republicans.

Amy@OldSweetSong said...

OH DATING! I've been single for about a year now but have been dating one guy for about two months and it's going really well. Knock on wood!

Dealbreakers: republican, jeans that are cooler/more expensive than mine, bad manners

Karen Cheung said...

Oh my goodness. My now husband said 'nice moustache, by the way' to me before we started dating. Being of Oriental descent, it shows and I was mortified too! Luckily I didn't go and immediately shave, but instead went down the plucking and bleach route later on. Somehow we got married... :-)

This so reminds me of a series of fun drawings I did for my blog, all about first dates. Here's the link, including one about facial hair:

http://alternativeeagle.blogspot.com/search/label/drawn%20-%20first%20dates

x

Dana said...

My #1 dealbreaker is a guy who doesn't read. It's so unattractive.

And I can't deal with a guy who doesn't have a sense of humor. Especially about himself.

Rachel said...

I have broken up with a guy for not knowing the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
I would rather date someone that lives 200 miles away than someone that doesn't have decent grammar.

Christine said...

I agree that not reading and smoking are definitely deal breakers! He also has to be considerate...to me, waiters, the cashier at the grocery store, etc.

Amber, theambershow said...

I literally gasped aloud!

I dated a guy who told me I was awesome, "except for my weight."

I was a cute size ten! :(

Sarah said...

If you have been drunk more times than sober when I am around, it's not gonna happen.

If you angrily talk to our waitress like she is mentally handicapped because she forgot to bring you lemon with your water, I might have to slap you right there at the table.

Also - please don't joke about sleeping with other girls, and please please don't secretly be serious about it.

Anonymous said...

my main deal breaker was being rude to retail employees or waiters. as someone who previously worked in retail i didn't want to be with anyone who was part of the problem.

Kristyn said...

Oh my ! I would've gave him a nice kick in the butt!

I have to admit my dating deal breaker is a guy who smokes. I've kissed a smoker before and let me just tell you it's absolutely disgusting. :X

Maggie said...

Where the hell was his mother when he was learning what's acceptable to say to women? That is horrid.

Bronwyn said...

Oooh, that's awful! I once dated a guy who told my that his favourite thing about me was the way that my hair smelled...
And I agree, Erin, someone who didn't read would be a HUGE issue for me. Also, someone who didn't like music - I grew up in a very literary, very musical family...

windeater.blogspot.com

Twenty's Girl said...

What a jerk! I cannot believe he actually said that! That's horrible! What's going on in the picture above is a BIG deal breaker for me :P and guys who aren't really interested in listening or asking questions to learn about you but instead more into talking about themselves the entire time.

Smith And Ratliff said...

I once dated a lip-biter. We dated for awhile, so after a few dates I finally had to tell him. He was mortified and wished I had told him sooner! Poor guy!

(No deal breakers with my current love though. :)

Melissa Blake said...

That's horrible! Not accepting my disability is a big dealbreaker for me, but then again, I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't accept it.

Miss B said...

My boyfriend in college asked me to wax my blonde "mustache". So for three years every other week I waxed my upper lip. The first time I did it I waxed off part of my lip and walked around with a huge scab, so much worse than a little hair. In three years though I got really good at it.

I stopped when we broke up but every now and then I get self-conscious and break out the wax. These things are scaring.

We are still friends and I give him a really hard time about it all now.

Nicole LeLacheur said...

Oh god that's awful! You did NOT shave it! Funny story... I wasn't dating yet but when I was younger a boy in my neighborhood (who I had a huge crush on) told me I had hairy arms and wouldn't stop picking on me so I went home and shaved my arms! My mom was pretty angry and told me the hair would grow back worse than it was! I cried and cried.

Rik said...

hahahahahahahaha! That is so funny. I would have DIED!!!

Christine O'Connell said...

I actually have a blog post for tomorrow about guys that shave their chests - YUCK!

I also went on a date with a guy that didn't have a bed, but had a blow-up mattress ...but then his dog popped it & he slept on the floor. Pretty bad.

vanessa joie said...

cinnamon gum! blech!

Little Lovables said...

I went on a few dates with a guy who idolized his sister. He told me, "NO woman would ever compare in beauty or brains to her."

Yeah, I ended it.

Funny, I married a guy who also idolizes his sister and mom. But not in as much of a creepy way.

labuonaforchetta said...

Hilarious! This literally made me laugh out loud. Some guys just have no filter between their brains and their mouths...

Closet Cravings said...

Your mustache story made my day. Shaved "like a dude." Totally mortifying but I loved that you shared it. I can't believe a guy would even say that to a girl he liked - probably still single. =)

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The Vox said...

About a year ago, I went on a date with a guy friend who I had no idea liked me (or that we had just been on a date).
We got as far as making out, and in the midst of great kissing, he stuck his tongue in my ear! Not on. In. What?!

Karina Cifuentes said...

Not sure if this has already been said (didn't come across it) but don't be mean or talk down to the waitress/waiter!

Sidney Ann said...

When they wear tennis shoes on a first date. Not like cute trendy sneakers, I'm talking like Nike running shoes. I live in Seattle--not exactly the fashion capital--but come on! Even worse, hiking boots. Yes it happened, on a third date (i.e., last date).

Lilly said...

Oh Joanna, that's terrible! I laughed because it was kind of funny, the things that we go through/have to put up with. I am married but deal breakers were definitely non-readers and guys that were offended by bad words or health freaks! ha, I know I don't sound lady like but the last thing I want is some guy judging my potty mouth as he counts calories! just saying:)

Prescott Perez-Fox said...

I'm quite seriously turned off by girls who watch really trashy reality TV. Anything from the Real Housewives series is a sure way end things.

Also smoking, but that's common, right?

Jenny in Ohio said...

oh boy, i've had some awful ones. Once a brain surgeon told me how much he made- on the first date! Then he tried to make out with me when i OBVIOUSLY wasn't into it. He was weird. He also ordered a drink called a strawberry fizz. I got a beer.

A HUGE dealbreaker for me is....smoking weed. I seem to attract stoners, i don't know why. I dated a few against my better judgement. blah.

gladly, now I am with a great guy who does none of those things!

Dancing Branflake said...

You are my hero and I love you for this! One guy (aka jerk ex-boyfriend) asked me why I had hair on my forehead. He said it was odd because he knew others Asians and they didn't. Anything that involves hair or comparing me to other people are huge dealbreakers.

Ashlee Dearie said...

Wow! That's terrible. I'm sure you so did not even have a moustache issue! Haha!

Dating Deal-Breakers? Clingy guys (!!!), overly mushy guys, guys who don't read, guys who turn into bragtastic jerks around their friends, and guys who I can't have an intelligent meaningful convo with every now and again.

missandmatch said...

NO way! Thats awful I would have plucked his eyebrows off in the night! haha Just kidding. I'd have to say that after dating a couple odd balls I've refined my list and made a couple key qualities that are deal makers and deal breakers. Long finger nails, lizard kissing, bad sense of humour and if they are unaware/not interesting in the environment and issues of the world.... step aside. But a man who can live his life, make a date, surprise, laugh big, a man who gives big consuming hugs, has big ideas, loves children, icecream and bike ride I'm waiting...oh and if you look like DOnald Draper!

swanntastic said...

Oh no way! "Cutest little mustache"? I can't believe that guy!

I went on a date with one guy who confessed that this was a change up from his "usual weekend" because he usually sat in his basement playing video games and watching porn. Now, I'm a video game kinda girl but... porn?! Keep that stuff to yourself! There was never a second date.

U U N A said...

my last date went on and on how she thinks girls that do sports are straight up ugly. especially ones that do ''guy'' sports.
i thought it was the perfect moment to tell him about my plans on taking my thai boxing hobby one step forward and starting to fight in a real ring.

Amber Leigh said...

when a guy's response to anything you say is some sort of "i've done that too...only better" kind of thing. no need to one up someone all the time!
Obviously a deal breaker if a guy steals from you - which unfortunately really happened to me.
p.s. a guy told me I had a moustache one time too so I feel your pain, embarrassment etc! The cheek of some guys!

Mandee said...

ha! I have been biten before too. to the point of being bloody later! It sucks...and I was too shy to say anything while it was happening but if it happened again I for sure would!!

Andrew and Crystal said...

hahahaha wow! that is hilarious. One time a guy did a similar thing to me. He said "You know a girl needs to shave her mustache when you can pinch it. Let me try to pinch yours." ???????? what the...???? NO!
-Crystal

Tonia said...

I'm terrified of spiders. A boy I dated once ran away and screamed "kill it" when he saw a spider on the wall. I broke up with him that night.

The man I married lovingly kills every spider he ever sees for me before I'm even aware they're there. :)

G. said...

I don't know why guys would even mention our mustache!!
I had a mustache sitation once too. I was in Middle School, and as a very shy girl, I sent a note via "a messenger" to the boy I was in love with. He knew it, but I was just too shy to talk to him. Anyways, on the note I asked if he would like to go on a date with me. And his answer was (he didn't write but said it to my friend) "yeah if she didn't have a mustache!" I was horrified and cried for 2 weeks. But 3 years later I was still in love with him but we never dated.... Since then I'm waxing my face every week haha

Joanna Goddard said...

Crystal, hahaha, omg, these comments are hilarious!!! i am dying over here!!!! :)

Julie said...

The comments are just as great as your post!!! I was lucky enough to find a great man at a young age! Although, there are things he does now that would have been deal breakers while we were dating!

Diana said...

Some of my deal breakers are: bad posture, smokers, filthy shoes/sneakers...

Jo said...

Happily married now, but went the online dating route and hated it when men lied...lying men in general suck, but don't lie when you know you can be caught...i.e. don't tell me your are 5'6" and when I meet you, you are shorter than me at 5'3"...really?

Bridge said...

This is perfect. I am going on a first date with a guy I have only had small-talk conversations with this weekend. Reading is a must, as well as a good sense of humor..

tinkmakesart said...

I am newly single and have been on a few dates. I find guys are very confident when it comes to going in for a kiss...even on a first date! I've realized if I am interested in just hanging out as friends but still do want to hang out, I need to say so! I'm thinking the words, "Yes! But don't try to kiss me!" ;)

Meg Blocker said...

That is one of the most hilarious stories I have EVER heard.

I don't have a list of dealbreakers (outside of the men I see needing to be feminist, liberal, generally upstanding), but I did have one notably terrible date.

It was with a Russian guy who took me to the Russian Vodka Room (Original!) and proceeded to talk about himself the entire evening - that is, when he wasn't discussing his friends' terrible relationships, his love of open marriage, and his ex-girlfriend, who was apparently super-dirty in the sack due to being the child of two ministers.

(Note: I have no problem with open marriage, so long as it's consensual, but it's not really first date material, you know?)

vanessa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Mary Edith said...

I was JUST looking through your past posts, trying to figure out how you and Alex met (I was trying to figure out how to find one of my own!). I'm single in DC and oh how I despise dating most of the time--it makes for stories that are usually hilarious only in retrospect.

Some of the turn-offs I've experienced: a mixed CD brought to me on a first date (he hadn't even met me yet!), a guy who cut his burger into halves to eat it, a guy who talked incessantly about the French horn, cocky guys, over-sharers, super-conservatives, picky eaters. The absolute worst? A foot fetishist. Sometimes I just want to give up!

Kate said...

I too was teased horribly about my mustache in elementary school (dark hair thanks to my Portuguese descent), but thankfully have only been with understanding and tactful men when it comes to that!

I did go on one date where he took me to a play (at our university, this was fine) and then back to his dorm to watch a pot smoker movie that he though was hilarious. It was our only date, but it was all I could do to get him to stop coming around afterwards.

One of my biggest turn offs is smoking. In fact, my now husband smoked before we dated. He liked me before I knew it, and found out I really didn't like smoking, so he quit there and then just to be more attractive to me! He's a keeper.

JenLynn said...

A deal braker for me is when a guy doesn't like new things/change. I had a guy tell me before that he only ate meat and potatoes and that he would not under any circumstances try new foods, even if I asked.

P.S. My rule is first dates are only coffee only. Learned this after several misadventures. And it has worked out for the best.

Eliza Jane said...

I can't believe that guy said that to you! I would have reacted the same way lol. I'm currently in a strained long distance relationship. But my dealbreakers are smoking and slobbery dogs. I just don't like dogs. Also, a guy needs to let me to order food first. And if they swear a lot, or are overly crude, that's a turn off.

Anna said...

oh my goodness - little moustache what a ...... that is TERRIBLE!!!

Ok my deal breaker (as an old married women) is that they have to be left handed like me!

KIDDING - but seriously all the guys I've dated have been left handed! How weird is that?

Hahaha, no serious deal breakers here - I've never gone out on a date with someone who i haven't known beforehand. And my first date with my now husband involved him forgetting his wallet and having to leave me as a 'hostage' at the restaurant while he ran home to get it?? And I married him!

Loving the responses to this post!

www.simplystylishmom.com

El said...

I once dated a guy who claimed his favorite move was "A Walk to Remember". REALLY?!!?

Zoƫ said...

Ugh, my boyfriend points out my "mustache" all the time and it bothers the heck out of me!

I dated a guy about two years ago who, whenever conversation got quiet, would say, "Did you fart?" He said it, like, five times a night. The first time, I said, "No, did you?" and he didn't reply--and every time after that, I pretended like he hadn't said anything. He was 28, but it was such a childish joke and after a month, I just couldn't date him anymore, despite how attractive he was.

Kathy said...

I feel your pain. My now ex-boyfriend (whom I was with for nearly ten years) never said a single thing to me about my mustache until after I started waxing it. And then he decided to tell me how he was so glad I was finally waxing because it was something he noticed every time we kissed. Mortifying.

Other dealbreakers: non-readers, condescension, poor grammar, always checking their Smartphone, and being rude to your mother.

These aren't entirely deal breakers, but I personally think it would be difficult to date someone who did not like cheese or cilantro.

Deanna (Silly Goose Farm) said...

ACK! Are you serious? I would have smacked him! I dated a guy who said to me "you're so beautiful, you could probably be a supermodel... if you lost 30 pounds." Then, with my mouth hanging open, he said, "well, maybe 40." WHAT?! I was 5'9", 150 pounds at the time, so if I lost 40 pounds, I definitely could have been a anorexic super model.

Cigarettes are a no-no for me, but thankfully I'm married to a wonderful man who is practically perfect in every way :-)

Jo Black said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deanna (Silly Goose Farm) said...

To all the ladies that said "no Republicans" - out of all the guys I've dated, the more politically-conservative ones ended up being the most inventive and frisky in bed ;-)

Jo Black said...

a moustache?!?!? really?!?! deary me! that's just a big no no!

i've been dating a wondeful guy for 2 years and we still like to go on "dates" :)

my latest post was about our lastest date :)

http://dreaminginthesun.blogspot.com/2011/07/lets-go-on-date-honey.html

love jojo xxxxxxxxxxx

AJ hates OJ said...

two words: MAMMA'S BOYS!

I dated a guy who would answer his mothers phone calls... in bed with me.

call her back, fella.

Abbi said...

Oh these are all so awesome! I have an entire web site that I started just to capture the horrible dealbreakers I was hearing from friends. I haven't updated it in a bit but this just inspired me to post again!
http://www.datingdealbreakers.com/

Kary said...

Prior to my great husband of seven years, my deal breaker would have to be the “Toppers!” You know the ones I am talking about. You have a terrible day at work, but their day was much worse. You both wake up sick with the flu, but of course they are sicker. Whatever the story or issue they have to top you. Which is probably why my ex husband is just that an ex! And my favorite topper story of all was when I had just given birth to our son, and he was complaining about how tired he was. Please! However, there was some satisfactions recently when his girl-friend broke up with him and he asked me “Do you think I am a topper?” I guess she thought he was too!

leathergal said...

Love this post, Jo! I married a GREAT guy last year after nearly 10 years of dating and we consider ourselves super lucky to have found each other-we are an awesome match! That said, my deal-breakers were: smokers, drug addicts, non-readers, mama's boys, abusive (physically or emotionally), doesn't like children, doesn't like animals, rude to customer service people/waitstaff, non-ambitous, non-adventourous.

Allie said...

One time I went on a date with a guy who was OBSESSED with PeeWee Herman. Yeesh.

But in a seriousness, my dealbreaker is guys who try to pressure me into going too fast physically. I'm old fashioned, but I'm also a strong woman who will make that decision myself, thank you.

Looks and Books said...

Oh that's terrible. A guy walked me home from a second date, and when we got there, I said "I'd invite you in, but my place is a mess." It wasn't, but I clearly did not want him to come in. His response? "Oh, I can just wait out here while you clean up." So I went inside and stood around, panicking for 5 minutes before letting him in, and eventually asked him to leave after he had worn out his welcome. Too much.

Lilacs In May said...

My best friend once dumped a guy because he ordered a mixed grill for dinner! Too boring apparently...

Mary said...

I'm dating two people now and both have some things I'm on the fence about. One is a really messy eater. He uses his hands a lot and it grosses me out! He has lots of great qualities as well, though, and he's a reader. :) The other is really cute and sweet, but he has some hygiene issues: there is this icky mystery rash on his arm... I'm too nervous to ask him about it.

ElizabethB said...

This makes me think of Seinfeld and all the funny reasons Jerry stops dating women!

I dated a russian babe years ago that told me I should smoke, it would make me even more attractive. As if!

D*mac said...

These are hilarious! My biggest no-no's would have to be guys with no ambition/drive (they also tend to be guys who play lots of video games...interesting). I'm pretty driven myself and I just can't stand the thought of someone who has no goals, hopes, or dreams! Also, guys who are rude or condescending to retail workers/servers/cleaning staff etc. Finally, bad oral hygiene. Please don't make me grateful that I've had the hepatitis vaccines when you try to kiss me.

Angela said...

Have you seen the Sonic mustache commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDH4AboJKPk

Makes me laugh. :)

13bees said...

i love you. too funny.

Ladeeda ~ my alter ego said...

My deal breakers?
I've been asked on more than one occaion, "Can you really make a living doing what you do?" and "What's wrong with you?" (when they learn I've never married) I love men and enjoy dating. My answers (preceded by a smile) are "Yes" and "Nothing" :-) A man who askes these questions has stepped over the line of "my deal breakers"

Stella said...

I'm wondering what he was thinking saying that?

...I can't remember anything horrible at the moment, but I think my friend was either seeing this guy, or he was just a friend, either way, my friend is beyond beautiful, and this guy says to her "you are so pretty, but have you ever considered getting your ARMS waxed"? yes, she has dark hair but mind you, she's not a monkey!


btw Jo, love your blog - it's such a sweet mix and I love your motherhood Mondays!

oh.just.jess said...

omg! this just made me laugh OUT LOUD. i still cannot believe that happened!

thank goodness for finding the right one ;)

Carly said...

Oh my gosh this is a hilarious post!
I have been told the moustache thing! I was asked "So do you bleach your moustache?"


NO, I DO NOT BLEACH MY MOUSTACHE. I DONT HAVE A MOUSTACHE!

So funny. Guys don't get it.


-Carly
www.createliveblog.com

M said...

I knew my boyfriend and I were going to break up when he told me, "MacKenna...you're so close to perfect." I think he meant it in a sweet way, but I was so offended. It still makes me mad now! I also had a boyfriend who I really, really liked but who had no interest in pursuing an education past high school. For some reason I just couldn't get over how much I disliked that. Definitely a deal breaker.

Kash said...

Deal breaker?

Guys who are rude to servers/gas station attendants/anyone in the service industry.

Also, ditto on the non-readers!

Suburbia Sputnik said...

he can NOT be allergic to my dogs and cats. This is non-negotiable.

Erica Christine said...

I'm sure Mr. Moustache had no idea that what he said would offend you, but sometimes boys are just SO utterly clueless. Buuuuut still I would've been mortified nonetheless!

As for my deal breakers, they are:
Rudeness
Being close-minded
No sense of humor
If he was a convict of any kind
If he has or had any sort of job in the drug trafficking or pornography industry

Celia said...

cologne. just can't do it.

Corey said...

I went on a date once with a guy who showed up wearing sweatpants. Like, the kind that are all scrunched and gathered around the ankle. Not necessarily a deal breaker for me...but later on he mentioned how he doesn't really enjoy food and just eats because he has to and is pretty much ascetic. For me, someone who oohs and aahs over delicious meals and foods, that triggered Liz Lemon in my brain, saying, "Now that's a deal breaker, lady!"

On a related note - any plans for future cheese tutorials? :-)

Hilary Nicole said...

Oh wow! Now that is a story. I can't think of any stories that mortifying, but I am sure I could think of something.

XO Hilary Nicole
http://thehippinista.blogspot.com/

Real Life Catwalk said...

Oooooh boy, there are alot of deal breakers...

Smokers/potheads
Liberals/Democrats
Non-ambitious
Still living at home
Pornography addicts
Self-obsessed
Non-adventurous

Quinn said...

Picky eaters. Guys with Asian fetishes. Guys who aren't good with words.

That said, I've dated all but the last one. Just, now I know better.

Chessa! said...

WHAT?!?!? I just laughed so hard I snorted...OMGAAAAH. why would a guy think a woman wants to think about moustache on herself?

Simone said...

Someone who has poor manners and loud. And they're not gentlemen.

Angry Asian said...

in 2 days it'll be 5 months with Devin & it has been wonderful. recently he confessed to me that he wants to learn how to ride a unicyle. my response: ME TOO! IT'S ON MY LIFE LIST!!!

i'm going to marry this man and live happily ever after with him.

chopsuey said...

Oh there are so many stories! Good ones, sweet ones, hilarious ones. One guy (after showing up 45 minutes late to our first date - that he scheduled at 9am) actually text me "I have a heart-on for Mondays." Was that an apology?
Apparently it's a reference to The Office, but I didn't get it at all.

Here's another favorite weirdo - http://chopsueyseattle.blogspot.com/2010/07/too-much.html

Shorty said...

Fortunately I'm not in dating mode, but one of the things that stands out for me is teeth. If a person has stained, gnarled or missing teeth I won't be going in for a kiss. Ever.

K8 said...

joanna, that is a hilarious story! thanks so much for sharing.

wildchild said...

ha my little fine hairs are dark, so i do have a mustache! i bleach it and am just praying no one can really tell. ha. i've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and still haven't told him i bleach it! i'm scared.

but i'm not really sure what my deal breakers are. i think it's just that my man has to be a man. no waxing, pedicures, he can't be more dramatic or emotional than me. i like rough and tumble men :)

Bethany said...

I'm married now, but this is a topic that comes up a lot in conversation because most of my friends are still single. In my opinion, any time a guy blows you off after promising to hang out, it's a deal breaker. You can be friends with them, but clearly they don't have the kind of tact or mutual respect that a relationship deserves, even if you're not "serious" with one another.
One friend of mine has been doing the online dating thing. A few months ago she and a guy exchanged phone numbers after messaging for a few weeks. He began texting and calling her, but she soon realized he kept confusing her with other women - presumably women he was romantically involved with! Major deal breaker, albeit a hilarious story to share with friends.

Julia said...

I had been dating a guy for a couple of weeks and on our fourth date he said something like "...I mean, like Evolution - that's a ridiculous theory, right?"
We didn't go on any dates after that night.

Miss Becca said...

Guys can be so obtuse! My deal-breakers are being mean to anyone, ANYONE! Being clingy, smoking, not being able to carry on an actual conversation, and for first dates I do have one iron clad rule - his thighs CAN NOT be slimmer than mine. And mine are not slim. Sorry, I just can't handle that.

Carocka said...

Hahaha - theses date stories are too funny! Made my evening! We don't really date like in the US in Germany I guess but major deal breakers for me are guys who get too close too quickly. And I cannot handle chewing noises while eating (and I don't even mean smacking only) - I do need to close my ears or turn the music louder...

Chung Nguyen said...

I think being a habitual asshole is a huge dealbreaker for me. A good, kind heart is very important.

Isabel said...

Ohh.. Over the years I got quite a lot of those..
First date, restaurant, after dinner waiter comes and gives us dessert menus - my 'date' reached for mine over the table, returned it to the waiter and said "She doesn't need it".. and kept browsing through his. Me (as well as the waiter) just kept staring at him with our jaws on the floor.

Melisande said...

that mustache comment is ridiculous! haha! i just can't stand when a guy is rude to the waitstaff or a bad tipper, or is all-around clingy and needy. blah.
luckily, my boyfriend is none of the above and absolutely wonderful :)

lori said...

ohhhh my gosh. thats hilarious and awful at the same time! the worst date ever was when this guy complained about how much everything cost AND it was valentines day.(it was a cheap dinner and a movie with snacks... i mean seriously?! how cheap-o can you be!?)

thankfully im married now and i dont have to deal with the awkwardness of dating anymore!

Rachel @ HealthyTeacher said...

There is nothing worse than someone with a limited vocabulary. I dated a guy in college who said, "Cool. cool, cool, cool, cool, cool."

First things first, one "cool" will do it. Secondly, he said it entirely too fast, so it was unsettling because that was his only response to what seemed like everything.

We broke up soon after.

Tsuki aka LittleGrayFox said...

oh my gosh! I probably would've cried if a guy pointed out any facial hairs!

My deal breaker is a bad kisser who refuses to learn how to be better.

I had a guy who would close his eyes and stick out his tongue before even reaching my face!!!

Dumped him after two tries!

Nick Goddard said...

It's a deal breaker for me when girls have moustaches :)

Isabel said...

Seriously? and what about those really bad kissers. I mean really bad...... Just few days ago, a guy gave me flossing lessons with his tongue. Or rather tried to count all of my teeth - from right to the left.. Central incisor, lateral incisor, canine..oh, oh! there is your second premolar!
I just forgot to return his calls.

kelly said...

To quote my hilarious (and wise) friend, Jessie: "In order for me to date a guy, he must ALWAYS pick the 'more street walking, fewer transfers' option on Hopstop."

kate reymann said...

Oh! How rude was that guy?

My husband once told me that he replied to my initial email to him - we met online - because I used the word "hasten" correctly. Improper grammar usage is a deal breaker for me. When I was in high school my litmus test was whether the guy liked the movie Room With A View, which is a pretty brutal test in retrospect.

Sandy said...

he needs to have a passport and the willingness to try new foods.

Anna M said...

I don't think this one was mentioned yet but my deal breakers for a first date (I would always make him choose) were: picking a lame/chain restaurant or bar and ordering a lite beer. If I'm drinking a lager or stout, you're not allowed to have a tasteless beer!

Also, any guy who doesn't know what he's doing with kissing. It's just a precurser to what WILL NOT be happening later.

me said...

So, I have one story... :) I'm a ballet dancer ,small ( 115 lbs @5'5), but with huge for my frame boobs( 30 E...). Let me tell you ...im always conscious of it as well as of any extra oz , which I guess is normal. I always wished to be a flat chested little skinny. So , I guy on the 4th date told me while talking about dance and arts " you know , you are pretty FAT for a ballerina, but all in the right places. I liiike it". I guess he meant it to be a compliment. But using the "f" word with the dancer?! Needless tp say , I've never seen him again... Another breakers are : dudes that discuss girls make-up abilities and that know way too much about make up as is... Dudes that do not appreciate arts - the worst ever is " oh, dance is for fizzies. I'm a GUY".

miss hill said...

YOU ARE TOO FUNNY! I've always thought your little mustache was very fetching!

Sage Crown Parker said...

This is great! I have a list, and my now boyfriend helped create part of it, really. When we first started dating he would slap my butt when ever we would leave a store or place and I was walking in front of him. Drove me crazy (not in a good way) he stopped. The other thing he use to do that would have been a deal beaker was call me "devil woman!" I'm so grateful that he stopped when I brought it up:)

Holly said...

bahaha- this post made me laugh out loud! thats TERRIBLE of him! I once had a friend who wanted to date me. In the same sentence, call me "kind of flighty" and then proceed to ask me to dinner. It didn't go much further than that.

laura_d_f said...

Hmm I don't know if anything like not into reading or being a bad dresser would actually be a deal breaker for me. I think if the guy was inconsiderate or treated me bad or other people that would be though.

http://happentanceandhappiness.blogspot.com

victoria / cats dreaming in keylime said...

I had a date in college ... it was going well UNTIL he kissed me and called me Veronica. But my name is Victoria. ***Fizzle***

anna said...

oh no - what an idiot!

deal breakers for me - bad breath. a mean spirit. and i once went on a first date with a guy who kept tapping me on the nose throughout the whole evening. i think he thought it was a cute, playful thing to do. i did not.

Taylor said...

I couldn't date someone who shared different political views.... Horrible fights would happen. Also, smokers are SO out of the question. And hugeeee drinkers. Dad is an alcoholic, don't need a bf/husband like that! Luckily my bf is great :) But those are my deal breakers!!

Alyssa Ball said...

So one time I went on this big group date with a bunch of friends and this guy I was really interested in. We went to dinner and the whole time we were there he complained about feeling sick and on the way home he threw up out the car window and all over himself... in the middle if traffic! Weak stomachs and hard? Complete deal breakers!

Taylor said...

OH. AND a man who smacks their food. EW. omg.

Ms. Sweet said...

Somehow I find all of these comment wonderfully reassuring! I've just ended a brief romance with a man who, despite many fantastic qualities, possessed too many deal breakers for me to overlook: he schedules his life around quality time with his dog (WTF?), he does the silent burp thing (Um, gross), he uses his finger rather than a knife when eating (UGH!), he doesn't read books (despite the graduate education), is overly in touch with numerous lingering ex-girlfriends (took a call from one at 3 am when I was in bed with him!), and teasingly mocked me when I was sharing a difficult childhood memory. Not good. He's a goner.

Eleanor said...

thats so mean! i had a bad experience where a guy i went on a date with took one look at me and said, 'oh my goodness are you standing on a step?' because i was around an inch taller than him, and he felt threatened by my height. dreadful.

Designs Good said...

Ha, ha--no way? That's awful! Good thing you got rid of him, because if he was that insensitive on the first date ... can you imagine?!
If a guy doesn't get along with his family or have a strong connection with them, then that's a big deal breaker for me.

LaRD said...

1. While dating a vegetarian who said he was totally cool with me eating meat in front of him: said I had meat-breath.

2. Was told that there was a "time and place for kissing"...apparently, it wasn't the time or place on my couch, alone, no tv on.

3. Said "ma-ma" in a baby voice when my shirt had come off.

4. Sharing difficult memory and he said "why does this have to be so serious?"

5. Tried to tell me that I should drop my depression medication and replace it with meditation....on top of that "he didn't want to change me."

6. Rude to anyone. Period.

7. Only talks about himself or money....seriously, the poorest people I've dated talk considerably less about money than the richer dudes I've dated.

sumslay said...

I agree with everything said. For me, grammar and spelling are huge (a lot is not one word). Also, from a previous experience, I need someone who knows who Salvador Dali is. I don't mean you have to explain his works of art, I mean, you need to know the freakin' name, okay? I'd also have to say rude to retail workers or servers. A guy I was seeing was rude when a retail worker asked his phone number with the transaction, and in front of the store I said, "You know she's just doing her job and you were just a huge dick, right?" Oh, which reminds, me, I look for someone whos's sure of himself to put up with my emasculating ways, but still not be cocky and boastful.

One more thing, living in Texas, I can only handle a total of maybe two redneck hobbies. However, chewing dip, smoking, or being racist count as 5 each, so no need to apply.

Damn, I am picky, aren't I? Ha.

Joanna Goddard said...

these are HILARIOUS!!! anna m, i am laughing out loud :)

Jamie @ charmingly ordinary said...

Not paying attention to current events. Very un-sexy.

Catherine said...

Sorry, that's hilarious! On the same note, I was told when on a bus date home from school, aged 12 or so, that I needed to go home and brush my teeth. I still remember that, 26 years on.

My dates (past tense as I'm married now) need a sense of humour, to be kind to waitstaff and taxi drivers, and to be open to discussion without getting defensive and worked up.

Catherine said...

Sorry, that's hilarious! On the same note, I was told when on a bus date home from school, aged 12 or so, that I needed to go home and brush my teeth. I still remember that, 26 years on.

My dates (past tense as I'm married now) need a sense of humour, to be kind to waitstaff and taxi drivers, and to be open to discussion without getting defensive and worked up.

Beka said...

absolutely HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am laughing so hard. love the way you right. :)

Kelsi said...

These are my personal dealbreakers, aside from the obvious (such as cheating, abuse, being a serial killer, etc.):

- Not believing in God
- Smokers
- Unable/unwilling to understand or exercise proper English grammar
- Zero sense of humor

I add this last one because I went on a horrific date with a guy who took everything I said literally and was completely incapable of understanding a joke, sarcasm, hyperbole, and so on. That was a tough hour to get through. Afterwards, he called and text messaged me several times, hoping to see me again so we could "do more romantic things next time." Yeesh!

tigerhearts said...

- people who say "books just bore me."
- people who don't believe in vaccines, among other illogical rejections of science.

Josie said...

Dudes who are skinnier than I am.
Complaining.
Rude to waitstaff (or anyone!)

Anonymous said...

Once I was out with a guy I'd been dating for a few months. It wasn't going well, mostly because he wasn't very engaged in any of my attempts at conversation. On our (long) drive home after dinner and a play, I gently mentioned that he'd been pretty quiet and he said "I'm sorry. I'm trying to listen to my tires."

He had just put new tires on his truck and was distracted by trying to determine how they were handling the highway. In retrospect, I should have known right then that this wouldn't work.

- Natalie

julie said...

Oh my God. I love 99% of your posts, and like the other 1%...but this one seriously just made my day. I once had a guy blow into my nostrils. Like the picture above, but his mouth completely encompassed my nose and then he blew into it with full force. Definitely memorable. ; )

Leah said...

If they smoke, yuck!
If they don't read...it makes me sad!
If they don't like dogs.
If they judge me based on the fact I love to cook and eat.

My ex used to get fed up with me and thought I put too much emphasis on food. It don't have an unhealthy obsession, I like to try new restaurants and I like to try new recipes. It always made me feel ashamed.

Shea Nichole said...

Greatest deal breaker...smoking! That and being a jerk! No bueno.

http://justbreathe18.blogspot.com/

Dianna said...

I once dated a guy that didn't like the feeling of napkins--kind of like how people don't like the sound of styrofoam--so he would wipe his hands all over himself and lick them while eating. I just couldn't take it!

abby said...

wow- if someone even remotely commented on any kind of imaginary facial hair i might have, the deal breaker would be that. right then and there.

really, it's a deal breaker with any guy who does something to make you feel like a moron (oral assaults and all). when you finally find the guy who makes you feel amazing, keep him.

Molliee said...

I would have to say the games! I don't do the whole, he's just not that into you, mindf*&k! hehe great post!

http://mstwirlyskirts.com

HeadOverRedHighHeels said...

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious!! You should have responded with something like "thanks! You have the cutest little chicken-legs." I definitely have dating deal breakers. I made a whole blog of it! Smoking is the most crucial. He could be Prince Charming himself and tell me that he's trying to quit but if he lights up, he leaves. I once went on a first date and found out that the guy had an unhealthy obsession with Taylor Swift. Or a guy who tries to have sex on a first date. Even if he's respectful after I say no, the fact that he would even think of trying on night #1 says a lot about what he's looking for. Also someone who drinks and drives and sees nothing wrong with it. You'd be surprise how common that actually is.

Aditha said...

If he is like "Me myself and I blablabla and I blablablablabla and I prefer blablablabla". I once dated a boy that was only talking about him, his life, his friends (yes, he did have friends !!??!!), his hair (??), his travels... I only said one thing : "And me, I..." That's all !! Oh yes, and "Goodbye" too ! :-)

kaela d. said...

no to closemindedness (religion, politics, etc)....no smokers....and no to anyone without a sense of humor (it's for their own good...my sarcasm could be detrimental) hahaha :-)

Oriana Zens said...

i went on a date with a guy who was COMPLETELY clueless about how to treat a woman. First, he was a major talker - just nonstop chatting about himself & never reciprocating my questions. Then, he ordered apps w/o asking if i wanted anything - just ordered for himself! ummm, okay. When the bill came he made me split it with him (yup, his food & all) He even had the nerve to lean in for a kiss after he dropped me off that evening -- I left him standing there puckered up. Here's a tip: if you don't pay for the first date (& your own food) don't expect the girl to kiss you! ughh.

Ellery said...

First dates always get the P.S. Test! If he doesn't know the majority of the words to all the songs on the Graceland album or at least appreciate Paul Simon, it's usually a pretty good indication that there's something off about his character.

Betsy said...

Deal breaker: Rude to the waiter.
Sooner or later, I'll be the waiter.

Jessica said...

That is hilarious. An ex boyfriend of mine once told me I had "peach fuzz" on my face. I was totally self conscious about it after that!

MsK said...

I agree about non-readers being a turnoff and a guy needs to be chivalrous - at least to the extent that he is courteous and kind. I went out with a guy who was doing a fellowship in DC for a summer. The first time we went out he kissed me and he licked my teeth. Yes, really... I thought "maybe he missed" or it was an accident. The second time we went out and he kissed me, he did it again. I never saw him again. SO GROSS!

Anonymous said...

Deal breaker: Endless stories about his "hilarious" assault and battery and indecent exposure charges.... Check please!

Emily said...

A guy who tells me I need to hurry up & get married because I’m getting older. I’m 29. I'm fully aware.
A guy who pushes too hard, too fast & borderline sexually assaults me.
A guy who will pay for nothing. NOTHING. Yes, this happened to me once. And shame on me for going back for more.
A guy who is clearly trying to get you wasted.
A guy who is cheating on someone else by going out with you.
A guy who is using you.
A guy who is bi-sexual.
A guy who is gay.
A guy who is rude to my mom or my friends.
A guy who hits, yells at, scares, overly criticizes, or tries to control me.
A guy who doesn’t like animals. Or at least can’t understand why I love them. YOU don’t have to love them, but please let me enjoy my puppy, ok?
A guy with bad table manners, who uses his hands to eat, & doesn’t even put the napkin on his lap.
A guy with crud in his teeth.
A guy who has slept with a prostitute.
A guy who prefers to watch porn instead of make out with me.
Not a total deal breaker (I understand there is context) but a guy who has left his wife, that’s a serious red flag.
A guy who fights his ex-wife in front of me. A guy who screams at his ex-wife in front of me (um, hello? Raga-a-holic???)
A guy who has ever gotten a girl pregnant.
A guy who has had/currently has an STD.
Any guy who makes me feel worthless.

Is that so much to ask for? I think not. Sadly, I have dated every single one of these guys. I think I’m due for a good one soon :)

kersey said...

That is awful! I had a first date pick up a roll off of my plate, lick it, and put it back on my plate. His only explanation was that he wanted it. Needless to say, that was our last date.

A Sunday Kind Of Love said...

i went on a blind date once- i suggested we go to the book store. when we got there i asked him what types of books he liked to read and he said, "oh, i don't really read..."
WHAT?! i mean, i don't care if he said sports biographies or tom clancy novels (two things i have no interest in reading :) ) but come ON, you don't read?!?! ANYTHING?!?!
the other problem was that his dad was italian (like, from italy, grew up there until university) and he didn't know A SINGLE WORD of italian! i love languages, and i always wished that my parents spoke a second language and had taught it to me growing up. the fact that he had that opportunity and took no advantage of it made me realize i could never respect him.
(guys i'll never go out with- ones who expect sex/anything other than a hug, on the first date)

Blue Is Bleu said...

Nooooo that's horrifying! Shame on him!

My first bf was beautiful... but soon dawned on me that he was seriously dumb. I couldn't have meaningful conversations with him about books, music, etc, and that made me really sad. So I decided that the men I dated from then on had to be intelligent, and if they were easy on the eyes, that's a bonus. Thank goodness my husband meets both requirements! :)

Michelle {lovely little things} said...

If he has bad teeth or bad breath, or is a bad kisser - deal breaker!

That mustache comment is HORRIBLE! Did he really think you'd want to hear that??

Mighty Burns said...

bahahhaah that would be my reaction too.. man oh man

naomi: said...

oh my gosh, that is too funny. way to be charming! my dealbreaker is bad manners. if a guy isn't well mannered & considerate, forget it! luckily i'm in a serious long-term relationship with the kindest and most polite boy i've ever met :)

KateH said...

My deal breaker is... his mom. I work with youth and kids which means I don't meet too many guys my age. Just recently a guy started volunteering. People have been asking if I might be interested in him. Problem is - I already know his mom and there is NO WAY I could be her daughter in law. She's mean... So I'm not even interested in the son - it's totally turned me off to him. We can be friends, but definitely nothing more.

My boss, who has a 2 year old son, said, "That's a scary thought! I could have an effect on whether my son would have a wonderful relationship or not." Fortunately, she's a nice loving person. Her son will be fine and find someone awesome.

Elissa said...

I have lots, many of them I discovered when dating ex #2. If he smokes. Is too rough when making out. Puts me down because of something I like ex: I like reading and because he didn't he would put me down for it. Immature. Has no compassion, or understanding for others. Only cares about himself.... I could go on all day

http://www.littlemisscards.blogspot.com

Wendy said...

Omg... I had something like tha happen to me and did the same exact thing (wax now because whiskers are icky, lol). Dating deal breaker: No sparks.

Collins said...

aahh! you crack me up! that is totally something that would happen to me! one of my biggest deal breakers is someone who talks over me while on a date. so obnoxious!

chaunceypants said...

Smoking. Not necessarily a makeout deal-breaker... but definitely a dating deal-breaker... though I'm married now so just sayin'

Elaine said...

OMG, Joanna! You just made me laugh all by myself in my apartment. I think my dog Zoey probably thinks I'm nuts. Too funny... and yes, that would definitely be a deal breaker for me as well. Ha.

Anonymous said...

Deal Breaker: Bad kisser!

Andrea said...

married. but no bad spellers and no tasseled loafers.

Particulars said...

To answer this question, I could probably list a bunch of negative characteristics that I would not be able to tolerate. . .
1. Someone who sees the cup as always half empty
2. Someone who has no ambition
3. Someone who is a control-freak
4. Someone who has dangerous addictions
5. Someone who is self-absorbed
6. Someone who is downright mean and angry
7. A mama's boy
8. Someone who has no boundaries
9. Someone who is arrogant and cheap
10. Someone who is narrow-minded

Come to think of it, writing this was helpful!

Ainsley said...

oh my word, that IS mortifying! I would have been appalled that someone I was *dating* would say that to me, ew!

Allison said...

This was such a fun post and the comments are cracking me up! Love your blog and the smile it brings me. Unfortunately, i am notorious for being a serial dater...please mister right, I'm ready already!! That being said, I do have some hilarious stories and now have a list of deal breakers. Besides the obvious ones, he has to like dogs, there is just some sort of innocence in a guy who likes dogs :).

Sydney said...

gosh! maybe he thought that was counted as a sweet-talk... lol

sydsense.blogspot.com

Elana said...

That is hilarious (though I'm sure it didn't seem so at the time)! I was once in a nail salon getting my eyebrows done when the waxer lady asked me if I wanted my mustache waxed as well. Um, I wasn't aware that I had a mustache, so no thanks

CheekyPinkTulip said...

I went out with a guy at University the one time. Tall, intelligent, talented...a real catch. He had a bit of bad skin on his forehead which I didn't mind one little bit! He used to cover it a bit with makeup, whatever. I could get past that.

On our first date, he must have had a particularly bad skin day as he came out with a pretty big band-aid across his forehead claiming he'd walked into an open kitchen cabinet. Um, ok.

Whilst dessert was being served he slyly asked if I wanted an 'Expresso'. I said 'No, thanks - I don't drink those'. He then ensued to wink and lift his eyebrows in a highly comedic way. What he meant by Espresso was a quickie in the bathroom. This was our first date.

Needless to say, there was no second one.

Maria xx
www.cheekypinktulip.blogspot.com

anabel said...

I love the responses here...I wonder what guys would say?? Deal breaker for me...close minded, and if he acts like he knows it all. Oh...or doesn't like korean food...Can't do it....

Gemma said...

According to 3 different guys I've dated, body hair on women- be it nipples, toe, finger, upper lip is flippin' unacceptable! I'm irish, so I have a peach fuzz situation going on and have been repeatedly asked by above guys to "do something about" the light smattering of pale hairs on my upper lip or other areas.

Several of them also thought it would be cute to regale me with stories about how other girls' body hair had turned them off in the past (Like, OMG, she had nipple hairs, I broke up with her the next day!)

One of the above also told me that he would dump me if I gained 10 pounds. (I was 5"5, 115lbs at the time) this was after dating for a YEAR.

and on and on...

Having married a European man and gotten to know lots of european men as friends through him, I've got to say, that is the way to go. So many men I've dated in several different areas of the US all had the same standards for their girlfriends, essentially expecting perfection. Their ideal woman likes all of the same books, music, movies, food that they do, cooks, cleans, stays uber thin, fit and sexy.

The british, italian, french and irish guys that we've become friends with since we moved abroad are the opposite- no nit-picking minutiae. You're a vegetarian and I'm not? Who cares! You love rock and roll and I'm a Beethoven fan? Who cares! Any of the men I have met over here would never remark on a womans body hair, age or weight...you respect the person as they are.

Anonymous said...

Jo, just be excited that no women will ever be saying these things about Toby! He's going to be a great catch ;)

Anddd bravo to the ladies above for knowing who you are and accepting those who love you for who you are!

Lydia said...

Deal breaker: When a guy calls a girl a slut, especially if the girl in question is me. In my early college years, I had a passionate, yet fraught relationship with a boy with whom I shared a strong emotional connection, but no real interests or hobbies. I warred it out with him until the night he drunkenly called me a slut, and I said, "no you didn't." That was that! I love my hubby (although he is a bruiser), but I sometimes catch him saying something (never some one) looks slutty, e.g. a sequined dress, a patent leather boot. I raise an eyebrow and he corrects himself post-haste... "I meant trashy!"

saturated canary said...

i never dated much; married my first and only love...but i think a guy who eats a salad for dinner would do me in. i want my guy eating steaks and manly things. not salads:)

Anonymous said...

I once dated a guy who had to keep a washcloth over his face while in the shower to keep from "drowning", a habit he'd kept since childhood....

Kimia Kline said...

haah. an x boyfriend of mine said the same thing about my mustache. only i have black hair and his comment wasn't nearly as sweet. :)

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

That's awful!

I haven't dated in a long time - we just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago - but I can tell you two things I wouldn't be able to handle:
1. guys who are full of themselves
2. guys who'd make me feel bad about myself

Those would definitely be deal breakers!

Tracy said...

I hate these. All are from first date experience. Some men were double offenders
1.guys don't tip, unless it is horrible service.
2.Talk on their cell phone too much.
3.Shell necklaces.
4.State they are only interested in a sexual relationship...?really?
5.One guy was secretly doing coke in the BR and then offered some to my friend.(We were at a concert I left, he walked me home and then I went back to the show :).
6. Talks about the 'ex' a lot.
7. Mention future plans that may include you and the state "If you play your cards right"

Tracy said...

I also have a guy friend who breaks up with his girlfriends if they weigh more then 110 pounds. He only dates young girls. Who seem to not care about this. Awful, right?

Chitowngrrrl said...

Ack! Too funny about the mustache comment. I've been shaving my peach fuzz daily for years (like a dude) too. It's blonde, but I'm not taking any chances.

As for deal breakers, I'm married now but definitely agree with a lot of the above generally-not-a-good person ones (mean, disrespectful, etc.). One of my most memorable deal breakers is from a guy I dated who I was kind of on the fence about anyway. He was really sweet, but the chemistry wasn't 100% there. At one point he told me he had 2 paintings of dogs above his bed that his mom had painted. He said that he would always have these above his bed no matter where he lived in the future. I was thinking that dog paintings probably wouldn't be my first choice, but it was kind of sweet that he was so sentimental about something his mom had painted for him. That was until I saw them. They weren't just dog paintings, they were really ugly puppy paintings that had obviously been done for a child's room in the 1970s (very cartoonish). I'm pretty sure they were paint by number (remember those?). Things weren't clicking with us anyway, but I'm pretty sure that was the beginning of the end. My friends now refer to him as The Puppy Painting Guy. I'm happy to say he found someone who could deal with the puppy paintings and is now happily married, which only goes to show that the more superficial deal breakers go out the window when you're in love.

Roxy said...

I met up this guy twice for a walk and a bbq and then told him that if he wants to see me again he should take me on a real date. He asked what that meant! Pffff... I told him if I have to explain to a thirty-one-year old what a real first date is I don't think I want to do this. We did. It was terrible. We're done.

Non readers - definitely a turn off.

What else...

Men who brag about money.
There's probably more, but can't think of any now.

nested said...

Major deal-breaker: Back when I lived in NYC I was on a second date with a guy I had worked with briefly. Before dinner we were talking about my starting to eat meat again after 15+ years as a vegetarian. I said, the only meat I could never ever eat would be veal. What did he order for dinner? Veal osso buco. And then he proceeded to scrape the marrow out of the bones telling me it was his favorite part. Needless to say, this was our last date.

Cara said...

Wow, I can't believe someone said that to you! You are beautiful!

I'm happily married now, but back in the day: smoking, poor grammar and taking yourself too seriously were dealbreakers.

Joanna Goddard said...

anonymous, that is HILARIOUS about the washcloth!!! omg, i'm laughing out loud :)

Joanna Goddard said...

these are so funny, i love all these comments!! xo

Megan said...

Alas, I have a slight mustache as all. You can barely see it, but I know it's there. I have shaved it, and in fact, I still do. I tried Nair but it has the same exact effect; plus you have to wait for it to grow in a bit before you can use the smelly stuff. Better just to shave.

marie said...

i've also shaved my mustache in a moment of weakness. ugh!one of my biggest turn offs: long fingernails, EW!

but for real, not asking enough questions. thats a deal breaker for me.

Claire * Lola Is Beauty said...

My most recent deal breaker was the guy who asked me what I wanted to drink and when I said a glass of red wine please, said, "that's so bourgeois" (that was strike one - we had just met so I thought maaaaybe he was deadpan joking. Unfortunately he wasn't.)

Next date: he agrees to order a bottle of wine, then when I offer to pay half scolds me in front of the bar staff shouting, "you just have to make a feminist statement don't you", finishing his rant with "End of discussion."

I'm blissfully single now. :))

Sarah Leslie said...

dating deal breaker? Probably when the guy actively does not care about the things you are most invested in...Not just your little hobbies and interests, but career plans, and the things you spend the most time pursuing.

rachel said...

Lol, that is mortifying. What is wrong with some guys, for real?!

Via Los Angeles said...

I keep an actual list of my deal breakers and red flags. I check in with my list often because I find that the fantasy of early love can cloud my judgement and make me forget the lessons I've already learned.

My deal breakers include: "Doesn't think it's bad when his friends cheat on their girlfriends" to "Wears diamond earrings." LOL Live and learn.

Michelle Vinson said...

I am happily married now with a sweet baby boy, but before I met my hubs--I had so many horrible dating experiences that I started to write a book about it (or a dating journal at least).

Worst was a teacher that I met. We met up at a restaurant at 6 and he told me he'd only pay for an appetizer on first date (ok, fine). Then he told me he first wanted to ask out my friend, but learned she had a boyfriend, then my other friend, but when we walked up he realized she was too heavy. So he asked me out instead.

Then, he told me that he fantasied about one of his students and needs to wait until she is 18 and out of HS to ask her out--what?!

Then, he told me he fantasied about his friend's wife, but that couldn't ever happen. What? What?!

Weirdo! I was so creeped out. First time I have ever just left in the middle of a date and didn't even tell him. I just left.

So glad I am where I am in life.

Bunnun said...

Oh my goodness. That is a great date disaster story!

I once went on a date with a guy who was incredibly good-looking and charming, but halfway through the evening he started spewing all this anti-immigrant crap. I pointed out that as a foreigner in his country, I was technically an immigrant too. At which point he said I was OK, because I brought "added value" - read, I am white.

The guy later sent me an incoherent e-mail saying he wanted to kill himself. When I questioned him about it, he said he routinely sends e-mails in his sleep and has no memory of them when he wakes up. Needless to say, there was no second date.

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