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Monday, May 09, 2011

Motherhood Mondays: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? Or your parents?

On this Motherhood Monday, I'd love to talk about kissing babies.

First, here's a little story: When I was sixteen, we went to visit my grandparents in England. One night, I was saying good night to my grandfather. "Good night, Dilly," I said, standing next to his armchair, and then I leaned over and gave him a peck on the mouth. We had always kissed my parents on the lips, and I figured that was appropriate. I thought it was just what you did!

"Oh, yes, uh, well, Joanna," he said, flustered and almost dropping his whisky. Then he pulled himself together and looked up at me. "You know, I always say, 'A man should kiss his father on the forehead, kiss his friends and family on the cheek, and kiss his wife on the lips.'"

Oh, I thought, blushing a shade of lobster red. Good to know. I was mortified! After that, I stuck to cheek-kisses for pretty much everyone (even high-school boyfriends, but that's another story).

Fast forward fifteen years: Now that I have my own baby, I can't help kissing him all over the face, including his slobbery mouth. I basically make out with him. :) Nothing feels better than drool-y kisses from a baby. It feels instinctual. And I remember seeing a French movie years ago where the mother kissed her five-year-old daughter on the mouth, and it seemed sweet and natural (and chic:).

Funnily enough, though, Alex feels differently. I remember the day after Toby was born, we were still in the hospital, and I turned to Alex and said, "Oh, you have to kiss him on the mouth, it feels so good, you have to try it," and Alex was like, "No, thanks, I'll kiss him right here...on the top of the head." I teased him good-naturedly but, a year later, he's still rocking the forehead peck.

So, I'm curious: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? What about older children? Was there an age where you stopped? Have you ever kissed your parents on the mouth? Do you think it's lovely or entirely inappropriate? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

(Top photo of Toby; bottom photos by Anais and Alain)

587 comments:

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Anonymous said...

i am all for affection but it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think of kissing my parents or children past the age of 1 or 2 on the lips. nooo thank you!

Anonymous said...

i don't remember my dad ever kissing my lips, but my mom and i kissed on the lips for probably 20+ years. i'm 25 now, and sometimes we go for the cheek and hit lips, but it's not a big deal. i think i stopped kissing her on the lips when i got married. it wasn't on purpose, it just happened that way. but my mom is so affectionate, i think she'd love it if my brothers and me kissed her on the lips forever! i'm not sure if my brothers (20 and 23) kiss her on the lips, but i'm going to try to look out for it next time we're all together! i'm not a mother yet myself, but i know i'll kiss my babies on the lips as long as they'll let me!

stephanie said...

I always kissed my kids on the mouth...mostly when tucking them in at night. My son is now 15 and I still tuck him in (when I say that I mean i just go in when he is going to bed and tell him goodnight...not like tuck the covers around him lol). Anyway, he is not up for a mouth kiss anymore...he just wants a kiss on his cheek or forehead. But my daughter who is 12 still comes and gives me a kiss on the lips. Enjoy those slobbery wet baby kisses. I miss them so much!!! It is actually really funny. Your little guys reminds me ALOT of how my son looked as a baby. My son had the eyebrows just like Toby!

Moonlight said...

For us this (kissing a baby in the mouth) is just something we watch in the movies! nobody kisses no one in the mouth unless it's their husband/wife or so. So I'd say a no, representing the custom in Greece and in Cyprus! :)

Lucie said...

My mum was never a mouth kisser, she was an ear nibbler instead.

Mina said...

When I was a kid I kissed my parents on the mouth but now I kiss them on the cheeks and give hugs. Lots of hugs. I don't have any children yet, but I think I will kiss them on the mouth for sure! So please let us know when you decide is the age to stop that. :)

Jessica said...

Our families does hugs but anything more is a bit too much for us. Even cheek kisses weirds us out.

Benedicte said...

I think kissing your family on the lips is very american. Here, in Europe, we don't do that ; it's even very shocking, like "incest" !

Anonymous said...

good entry Josh Johnson. Title: District Sales Manager at Medtronic Spinal

Lauren@BaylorSays... said...

Haha! I never read this many comments, too funny.

As for the making out comment, I'm all over it. "If you need us, we'll be over here making out." LOVE it.

Colleen said...

If they're a baby, kissing on the mouth is okay. I figure up until they're in Kindergarten, kissing their mouths are alright. I don't kiss my parents on the mouth, and I haven't since I was really little. My Grandpa kissed my cheek.

Benay said...

My family never kissed when I was growing up -- we were huggers and I would always just rub my daddy's bald head for extra affection. However, when I married into my husband's Australian family, I had to learn to serve up kisses for everyone. I normally aim for the cheek (you know, those adorable European kisses), but some of them deliberately adjust their heads to get some lip action. While there are some of his family members I'd rather stay far away from, I can't imagine not kissing his sweet, sweet grandparents -- even if it winds up being on the corner of the lips. :-)

Kristian said...

I am SHOCKED at how many people kiss their kids and parents and friends on the lips. To me, that is TOTALLY weird and inappropriate. My parents are Persian and my husband is Latin and in neither of our cultures is it common to kiss on the mouth except for your boyfriend/spouse or whatever. But for the people who justify kissing on the mouth by saying "We're from a loving and affectionate family," I really don't think that you realize that for other cultures to kiss someone on the cheek once (as Latins do) or twice (as Persians do) does not mean that other families are not close and loving as well.

sk said...

I love this topic!
I'm really not much of a kisser (I barely kiss my husband, much less my parents) but my grandma always kisses me on the mouth, and I think it's really sweet.
When I have kids, I hope to kiss them on the mouth forever-- I love to see families be affectionate this way. It's something I will probably need to learn to be comfortable with....

Lexie said...

Haha! Mouth kisses all. the. way. I kiss my 10 month old son on his beautifully slobbery mouth all the time! He's my BABY for goodness sakes and it just feels natural. I suppose he'll be too embarassed at some point to kiss me on the lips so I have to get them in now, right?

junebug said...

Kissing! One of my favorite topics. In our family, we love to kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss in a baby's open mouth (it's especially fun if it makes the baby mad--isn't that horrible). Nieces and nephews, I pretty much stopped kissing their lips when they stopped being toddlers, though I know my sisters still kiss their own kids on the lips.

I have really, really loved these mothering Mondays. About a year ago, I became a step-mother to the world's two most adorable little boys. Mothering boys has been the hi-light of my otherwise already awesome life. They are so sweet and dear to me, and a few months ago, they started wanting me to kiss them goodnight on their mouths, in addition to just their ears, eyes, noses, etc. (they make good kissing). At first I thought it was weird, but now it just feels like I'm their [second] mommy and they're so sweet.

The littlest (almost 4) thinks it's hilarious lately to kiss like at the end of "Cloudy, with a Chance of Meatballs," so we each puff out our cheeks like Dizzy Gillespie and kiss until we can't hold our breath anymore.

Another fun kiss is puppy dog kisses, where you just rub your face all over someone else's face while "panting" through your nose. It's like kissing and tickling all at the same time.

I could go on all day. To quote my beloved sister and refute Little Bear's mother in "A Kiss for Little Bear" (have you read it? it's brilliant), "There can never be too much kissing."

Madison Mayberry said...

Goodness, I have never really thought about this! I know that for me and my family, we have always kissed on the mouth. Although, now that I am 23 I don't often kiss my parents on the mouth. However, it really hasn't been that many years since I last did.

My family is very close, open and we talk about almost everything, so it never seemed strange to me, but now that you bring the subject up, I guess I can see where some would think it strange. Especially when children are little, I think kisses on the mouth are incredibly normal and sweet.

Anonymous said...

hello, jo.
my mom used to kiss me on lips when i was little..maybe till 8..
i think more than 10 years it's not appears too lovely..
but when we talk about liitle child n baby.. the act is INEVITABLE! <3
you are in the right way :)
xo

graceful nichole said...

Haha! This is great.
I do think it's cute with little ones; and until I was older and had a similar experience to what you had, with my friends commenting on my mom kissing me, I didn't think anything of it. My whole family used to kiss me and my siblings on the mouth when we were younger but now that we're older, there's only one family member that does this to our family - our Grandma. She even goes in for a mouth to mouth with my husband, and it's hysterical! We all have great laughs about it because she's kind of a frisky older lady:)

inoakpark said...

I've always kissed my parents on the mouth.

erin said...

I love kissing my 13 month old on the mouth, even though it horrifies my mother. I don't know where she got her prudishness from, considering her own mother still kisses me on the mouth, and I'm 33 years old!

Arianne Wolfe said...

I had a similar experience. When I was little I always kissed my family on the mouth, and only when I learned that it was socially "unacceptable" did I switch to cheek kisses. Now I miss that familiarity and I'm sure I'll kiss my kids on the mouth when I have children!

pws said...

We were definitely not a touchy feely sort of family -- at most there were cheek kisses and it kind of took me a while to feel comfortable kissing my then first BF, now dear husband, on the lips :). But with my fresh, new baby girl, I can't help but give her kisses everywhere, especially on her chubby little lips! I doubt I'll do this her whole life but for now, while she's still so cute, sweet and little, I don't think she'll mind :)..and neither do I!

Rebecca Dreiling said...

I have always kissed my mom & grandma on the mouth. I think grandpa & uncle was on the cheeks. May have had to do with all the "how to escape a sexual predator" videos mom made me watch, which instantly gave me a weirdness with males. Even today, my best friend and I kiss on the mouth (and hold hands sometimes while we're shopping - and we're not Japanese). I think the stigma is dying and I couldn't be more thrilled. Just because my mouth is on someone elses, doesn't mean I have any interest in inserting my tongue! It's totally appropriate and I welcome mouth kisses! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Alex on this one, but I guess it's a family and upbringing thing.
My parents never kissed us on the mouth, they never did to their parents... hence i do not and onestly i never taught about it before this post...

In my mind, a mouth kiss is something sensual whereas a kiss on the cheeks or forehead is affectionate and protective. I kiss my lover on the mouth sensually whareas if he has a bad day or is just cute to bits i will kiss his forehead, cheeks, hands, lids or hair

Curious thing...

Cath said...

Sweet and heartwarming (and, yes, with your grandfather, slightly humiliating!)
I come from a big ol' Italian family so lots of hugging and kissing going on, but the kissing was pretty much saved for the cheeks or forehead, followed with a big hug.
Now for the wee ones, who can help but to eat them all up?!
I say, Love away!

TheNightJar said...

I have issues with this! I dont mind kissing my son any where (hes 4) but because my mom was pretty strict about "parents kiss only on the cheek" I told my son to kiss me on the cheek only too. But now since that is off limits to him my son always tries to sneak a big wet slobbery one on the mouth....I usually turn my head at the last moment as he chuckles to himself

StylinMommy said...

it seems like whatever im thinking you've got a post for!!! (also 'on having a boy' really spoke to me so much so that i was about to post on my own blog then saw your post and just couldnt because SO SIMILAR!!!)
anyhoo - my hubby is entirely against lip kisses with Baby H but I secretly slobber him bc as you say, it feels so nice and lovely. i dont think we'll continue this as he gets older tho, i dont lip kiss my parents or relatives :) thanks for such an inspiring blog and for being on the same wavelength! love it.

Anonymous said...

hello, jo.
my mom used to kiss me on lips when i was little..maybe 8..
i think more than 10 years it's not appears too lovely.. but when we talk about little child n babies..the act is INEVITABLE <3
you r on the right way :)
xo

jacobithegreat said...

I think it's weird! Although I'm not one of those people who kiss people other than my boyfriend or babies (On the cheek or head)

J.Mill said...

My fiance's parents and my parents just met this last mother's day weekend (crazy!) for the first time! When his mom was saying by to him she kissed him on the mouth. Later that night in a make-out sesh all I could think about was "you just kissed your mom you just kissed your mom you just kissed your mom!" My family and I aren't the kissin' kinda family and I like it that way. While I think it may be cute to do it to babies, I think we are too old to be kissing our parents on the lips.

Bladh photography said...

I kiss my little boy on the mouth whenever i get the chance, But he is 3 months old. Im sure when he gets older there will be a time to stop.. but for now i will continue to kiss him all i want while he lets me.

Eleanor said...

Joanna another great post! I baby sit a lot and often wonder if it okay to kiss the babies I baby sit, or to kiss the child I watch good night. I am currently watching a 1 year old and she is just so cute, its hard not to kiss her. but is that weird? I have only known her for 6 months but she is so giggly and so cute! I often wonder what her parents would say?

I also have been watching a family for over 10 years and the kids seem like family and they are often grossed out when I kiss them good night, granted they are 10 and 8 and just at the coodies age but I care deeply for them.

I just don't know what to do, but I feel like our society is so touchy about kissing, after all its just a kiss! we could all use more love!

:D

kim said...

I kiss my 4 year old and 9 month old on the mouth and all over their faces. I remember when I was about 7 the last time I kissed my mom on the mouth. It was awkward and we stuck to cheek kisses from then on. Now, I only do hugs. Kisses are reserved for my husband and kids and occasionally my parents kiss my head.

Alex said...

I'm working UP to the forehead. I'm still basically rocking the top-of-the-skull kiss! :)

Kate said...

My parents and I never really kissed anywhere, at least not as far back as I can remember. My grandmom did kiss me on the lips when I was a child, which I HATED. I would always wipe my mouth off afterwards. Now, though, my girlfriends and I peck each other on the lips like a hug goodbye. I'd say anything goes if both parties are amenable (or one is a baby, haha)!

Sooji said...

While my father has never been much of a kissy/touchy kinda man, my mother ALWAYS lavished us with kisses. Except, she never kissed me on the mouth, but my younger brother. And she still does! He's 17 years old.

I'm 21 and even though I've never been kissed on the mouth as a child, I can't WAIT to make out with my own baby when the time comes. :)

kaela d. said...

great topic! I remember kissing my parents on the lips for a long time....I used to kiss them every time they dropped me off at school...that stopped around age 11 when all the kids were watching the cars drop you off hahaha...i'm 23 now and we do cheeks. i sometimes will kiss my old dad bye when i leave ...it's almost involuntary. i dont think it's innappropriate. i think i just grew out of it when i became aware of what i was doing and it felt sort of odd.

Victoria said...

wow--I always kissed my parents on the mouth and it never occurred to me that others do otherwise. I don't typically kiss babies on the mouth bc I don't want their parents to freak out but I love slobbery baby kisses;) I remember when my nephew learned to kiss, he looked like a little cherub coming toward you with his mouth open. I don't think there is anything sweeter or more joyful than a baby coming up to kiss you:)

Love + Marriage said...

My parents kiss us all on the lips (my brother, sister and I are all in our 30s). We kiss each other on the cheeks. But we all kiss babies on the lips! The other night, we were all at dinner and my mom was kissing my two year old nephews ear, chewing and pulling at it with her lips. We all thought it was a little weird but he was loving it. Also, I just remembered how my husband loved when he first met her and she kissed him on the lips. With a mom like that you can't be shy of affection.

margie said...

I'm 33 and I still kiss my Dad on the mouth...it's probably because he has had a beard all my life. (My siblings do too.) I kissed my Grandma on the mouth until the day she died, but I gravitated to cheek kissing for my siblings and my Mom years ago. Cheek or mouth...it's still great to get kisses from those you love.

Olga @ MangoTomato said...

the only people I kiss on the lips are men I'm interested in :)

Not sure this will change if/when I have kids. That's definitely not something I grew up with.

Love + Marriage said...

Also, my dad gave us all "whisker rubs" where he tackles you and rubs his cheeks on yours and tickles/scratches. He's the best. It's fun to see him do that as a grandpa now.

I love reading these comments!

Beryl Lynn said...

Of course I kiss my baby boy on the mouth, how could I resist?

A. said...

My mom and I used to kiss on the mouth all the time! One time, probably when I was about 14, we were in some kind of shopping center and we kissed while talking about something on the elevator. I felt okay about it, but in that moment decided that I was maybe ready to move on to cheek kisses only. It was a very natural end to something that was wonderful all through my growing up.

In relation to your question, as well, there was a news story in Canada maybe 5 or so years back about a woman who had made an art video of her kissing her baby. It played in a loop, showing same (mouth) kiss with different filters each time. It was in the window of an art gallery and they were asked to take it down because of child pornography laws!

Anonymous said...

this post won me over. Joanna you are adorable, the basically make out comment is too cute & any loving momma can relate with that overwhelming feeling you are talking about...mommies and babies love and thrive on those kisses! Smooch away!

Anonymous said...

Americans have a tendance, how you say, to be uptight. Kiss little kids on the mouth and cheeks and crown of the head then when they get a little older phase out the mouth kissing. It's not rocket science, people.

Amber, theAmberShow said...

You think of the coolest things to blog about!

Kissing as we know it evolved from mothers chewing food for their babies and passing it mouth-to-mouth - the first baby food! So it makes sense for moms and babies.

I've never kissed anyone but lovers on the lips.

A Rancher's Wife said...

I kiss my family on the cheeks and we hug. A lot. If and when we have children I don't think I'd like others to kiss my children on the cheeks, but I'm a germaphobe. :/ I kiss my niece and nephews on the cheeks. :)

Ruby said...

I always kiss my 8 month old daughter on the mouth. Growing up my parents and I did this and I also did this with my two older sisters. I still kiss my sister on the lips and her two daughters and son. I think it's a beautiful thing. Like you though, my husband seems a bit weirded out by it. The way I see it, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. He has actually always said, even pre-baby, that he thought it was weird when people did that. Is it a guy thing?

Anonymous said...

Great Post! Growing up my Vietnamese mother would not kiss us at all--she would sniff our cheeks. When I had my babies, I would plant kisses all over thier faces and lips, I could not get enough!

Mimi said...

I have had this conversation with many of my friends. We disagree on what is appropriate and how it was deemed appropriate, if that makes sense. Here is the run down:

I kiss my kids on the mouth (they are 7 & 9) and I don't think anything of it. No one else in my family does this. Actually, there is no kissing at all.

My husband's family does kiss on the lips but he thinks it is gross so he rarely kisses our kids on the lips. More than once his grandfather gave me a good smackaroo on the mouth.

My bff always said kissing on the mouth was sicknast until she had her own son and now she makes out with him. Her family does not kiss on the mouth.

I can't imagine stopping but I am sure my kids will stop someday.

Viktoria with a K said...

I kiss my dad on the lips, but my mother on the cheek.

And my 90 year old grandfather would be down-right offended if I kissed him anywhere else than the lips!

megan said...

My husband and I kiss our little guy (who is turning 2 this weekend) on his mouth. I always tell him that he smells like kisses cause he gets so many. I do feel kind of weird kissing my parents on the lips. I will kiss my mom on the mouth but no one else.

Courtney Ann said...

Growing up we always did lip pecks. And i think it had to do with my mom's obsession with baby breath. But we each, at some preteen age, decide that cheeks kisses are just right.

I've never really thought much about the subject though. Lovely post!

xo

Lindsey said...

I kiss my baby on the mouth! I love her slobbery kisses.

Jessica said...

i'm sure it is because of how i was raised, but this whole thing is quite shocking to me!

i don't know that i've ever mouth-kissed anyone that i wasn't sexually attracted to. i think of it as a purely sexual or at least romantic act.

the idea of a mother and baby kissing on the lips isn't as disgusting to me, but hearing about adults kiss their adult siblings or older children just feels in appropriate and borderline incestuous.

then again, maybe i'm a cold fish. i think i was about 8 when i asked my parents to stop kissing me on the cheek/forehead altogether.

Eli said...

I used to kiss both my parents on the mouth--I'm 22 now. The only reason I don't now is because after converting to Mormonism my little sister was uncomfortable with kissing my father on the mouth and so he no longer does it to me either. I never really found it that weird though.

Kendra said...

My family is Icelandic and they ALL kiss on the mouth so it just seems natural to me. Even the 75 year old sisters and brothers! Family reunions are insanely adorable :)

 PIECE OF CAKE. PEACE OF MIND.

Reyna said...

Oh Oh I know exactly what you mean about sweet baby mouths! I absolutely am practically making out with them! my family gives kisses on the mouth. Mom, dad, and siblings. Every morning when we wake up and every night before bed. Extended family too. I love it. It is just so close and loving. I have a friend who won't kiss her children on the mouth, though. She says that mouth kisses are only for romance. Crazy! She is missing out on those sweet baby mouths.

emily said...

when I was about 10, I saw my second cousin kiss her baby on the mouth and thought - that is the sweetest thing I've ever seen, and when I have a baby, I will kiss her on the mouth, too. And now I do have a baby and I do kiss her on the mouth. I think there's an intimate sweetness there. But I also assume it will naturally fade away as she gets older and modesty begins to take over, and I'd like that - I don't think I want the practice to continue as she gets much older (though if it should mean a lot to her, that's another story). My husband sometimes kisses her on the mouth, too, but not very often. The other spots are less drooly, for one thing.

stacy said...

My hubs and I kiss our 2 yr old daughter on the lips every day- she loves to give kisses and I can't imagine not kissing her on her little lips! I know she will prob. not be so eager to kiss us when she becomes a teen, so we are stockpiling them now!

Anonymous said...

My mother always kissed me on the mouth, but I was ALWAYS disgusted. Sorry, but I always avoided kissing my mother for fear she would go for one on the lips.
I agree with your grandfather on this one.

Anonymous said...

I come from a greek family so I have always kissed my mama on the mouth. I kiss my 10 month old daughter on the mouth/cheek/chubby thighs too. I love it.

Nina Leung said...

Yes! I absolutely love kissing my 2 year old on the lips. As does my husband, my sister, my mother, the whole family. My son loves it and we love it. Not sure how long it will last, but it's great so far!

simplystylishmom said...

Hahahaa I reckon you can kiss your baby's wherever you want until they're old enough to say - - 'ah no Mom, not anymore' - nothing WORSE than a m-in-law still trying to make out with her thirty year old married son... but totally understandable for Dad's not to want to kiss their kids - esp. their daughter's on the lips!! I find a lot of it is due to their upbringing don't you think?

Bisoux, simplystylishmom

Christine said...

Thank you for writing about this topic. I really enjoyed it. As for my opinion... I don't kiss my parents on the lips. Though I may have when I was younger. My niece she gives me mouth kisses all the time. I think it's sweet. <3

Shenanigans said...

I think it is natural and affectionate, I've kissed my parents and my husbands parent and even close friends on the lips. MY son is nearly 2 now and I can see many more "lip kisses" to come. Even from my husband!

Emily G. said...

My family is not really into kissing. We hug each other often, and my dad kisses me on the top of my head, but I don't think I've ever kissed either of my parents on the lips.

Ariel said...

its so funny you mention it because for mothers day i found an old photo (that i actually used in my blog post because i thought it was so naturally sweet) of my mom and i kissing when i was a baby. i don't remember doing it often or anything but she kisses me on the cheek or forehead now. her favorite thing to do at the moment though is ruffle my boyfriends hair. haha.

Deb said...

I beg for lip kisses from my children. It's so, so sweet, and I know they probably won't do it forever (although I would if they would). My son can complain to his therapist when he's older.

Misty ~ Not an Empty Room ~ said...

eek, when i was growing up i was an OCD Germophobe and wouldn't kiss anybody. lips, cheek or otherwise. My family is still in awe that i actually got married and kiss my husband. lol. i still dont kiss anybody else but him. we are expecting our first baby in the next 6 weeks....i somehow doubt i will want to do the drooly kisses thing. we shall see...

Kellie {minimusthave} said...

How can anyone not want to kiss those adorable juicy little baby lips?! I tend to kiss both of my kids on the lips (and everywhere else on those gorgeous heads of theirs).

Anonymous said...

i can't believe the timing of this post joanna! my husband and i have just had this very conversation. i love to kiss my little monty all over, especially on his tiny lips! my husband is different though, like alex - and thinks it's a bit weird..i put it down to his british roots :) strange though, i don't like to kiss my mum on the mouth, freaks me out! alex xo

Marley said...

I always kiss my loved ones on the lips and give them a big hug it's just what I've grown up doing and when I become a Mum I'll be just the same with my kids -unless they tell me I'm embarrassing!

Jessica said...

We definitely kiss our little girly on the lips but I can see us growing out of it. Especially since she's such a social lovie & wants to kiss EVERYONE (even homeless strangers) on the mouth. Eek! But it is fun while she's small & very sweet.

Erin said...

I am totally a mouth-kisser, which is very strange, considering I wasn't raised that way AT ALL. We hugged, but hardly EVER kissed! With my 2.5 year old little boy, it's an entirely different story. I laughed out loud when I read that you "make out" with yours, because I've thought that A LOT. Especially at bedtime. He requires numerous kisses of various intensities and lengths of time. I draw the line at using tongue, although he has forced me to part my lips before (felt strange to me, but I loved it, none-the-less). I try to keep the mouth kisses close-lipped now, though, because I know people will judge :)

HQ said...

LOVE this post. I kiss my Dad on the mouth, but not my mom. I also kiss one of my aunts and 2 of her kids on the mouth. I guess for me, it signifies a special family closeness.

Anonymous said...

I'm only 17, but I always kiss my parents and all of my relatives on the lips. It feels normal.

Anonymous said...

I don't recall EVER kissing anyone in my family on the lips! I cannot imagine it, actually. I don't plan to have kids, but when my friend's kids kiss me, I'm game for whatever/wherever they aim - lips is fine! I don't love the slobber though - ew! As to friends, I'm a hugger, with an occasional cheek kiss. I have a friend who's a big lip-kisser and honestly it feels like an obligation - I watch everyone, comfortable or not, oblige her with a lip kiss. She is someone who sometimes gets cold sores and I hate to sound crazy, but I resent feeling like I have to kiss her just because she expects it...

Jaclyn said...

What a thought provoking topic! I kiss everyone on the lips! Well, anyone that merits a kiss, gets a kiss on the lips. My brothers, my parents, my relatives, my brothers girlfriends... I think it is sweet and a great way to show affection. My middle brother Matt, who is 24, grimaces a bit, but I think it's for show.

Vanessa said...

I stopped kissing my dad on the lips around the age of 9, and my mom around the age of 12 or 13. It was just uncomfortable for me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it for others.

Heather said...

oh kiss on the mouth - It is a sweet expression of a true love.

missmehoneybee said...

I with you. I kiss my lil guy everywhere, lips, cheekys, shoulders, hands. How can you not, they are so sweet and yummy.

Raquel said...

I kissed my baby girls wherever they wanted kisses, cheeks, lips, neck, ears. It was all great. But as they got older (probably after 2), kissing on the lips didn't feel right to me. So, no, I save lips for the husband. The rest of the family, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, get cheek kisses. It's the way our family works.

Rachelle said...

With my extended family and close friends"un bec" is pretty much the way we've always greeted each other. Its the french Canadian term for that quick little kiss on each cheek as a greeting. It usually more like five or six kisses by the end of the night when people are saying good by (depending on how much you've had to drink). Young children in my extended family always come around and give everyone a kiss on the mouth and a hug before they go to bed too.
With my parents I always kiss my mom; mainly on the cheek or forehead sometimes on the lips, with my dad and my brothers it is always a big hug the kind where my feet come off the ground but we hardly ever kiss.
My boyfriends family doesn't really do hugs or kisses, so I feel like he feels awkward around my family when everyone hugs and kisses (especially getting several sticky, sloppy goodnight kisses from my younger cousins) and I haven't really gotten used to having his parents send us off with a wave but no physical contact.

browneyedgirl said...

Wow! What an interesting topic! I am not a mother yet, so it will probably change, but for now I stick to cheek kissing!

Renae N said...

My grandma kisses me on the mouth.
My parents and I kiss on the cheek.
When I interact with other babies/little kids I'll kiss them on their heads or cheeks, but never mouth.
My best friend and I kiss on the cheek and occasionally a peck on the lips just because we're such good friends.
I don't have kids of my own so it's hard to say what I'll do when the time comes.
I think it's lovely until a certain age, of course.

feebee said...

I just kissed my eight year old son on the lips this morning in the school playground. I dread the day he doesn't want his mum to kiss him anymore.

Anonymous said...

wow i was thinking about this just this morning while plastering my 9 month old boy with smooches galore. i dont kiss him on the mouth too much cause hes constantly wriggling to my aim is always off, but i would if i could!

Heather Keyser said...

I adore that you posted this!...I kiss my parents, family, friends, etc. on the cheek though on occasion my Mom (i'm in my forties) kisses me on the lips, still thinking of me as her baby most likely! My dogs I kiss on the nose, lips, face, ears, paws ...which some humans find terribly unsettling if not downright unsanitary. I don't have children, but if I did, I'm sure I'd smother them in kisses...lips included. : )
Love your blog!

amerea said...

no way kissing my family on the mouth! i agree with your grandfather. in Europe it is not even a common thing, seen only in the USA!

Jenna said...

I am so glad you did a post about this. In my family we never kissed on the mouth. When I had a daughter in late November I started kissing her everywhere on her face and arms and feet and belly, but never on her mouth. Finally, a few months ago I for some reason started kissing her on the mouth. Now I love it! She's only five months old but when I ask her if I can have a kiss she turns her mouth to me and brings it in wide open for a kiss. It is so cute!

christina said...

my mom and i always gave little pecks on the mouth to each other, but she's the only family member i ever kissed on the mouth growing up. now i kiss my babies on the mouth, i agree with you their lips are just too precious not to kiss!

ron mac said...

Funny, just before I read this post, I kissed my mum goodbye on the lips. As much as I would like to kiss my dad the same way...my dad finds it awkward so i stick to the cheeks... My grandparents would close and tuck their lips in and kiss us grandkids using the philtrum (with a little sniffing sound--as if they inspect us by smell.)

I love this blog post Joanna! :) Have a great day!

tx.chelsea said...

My family and I never kissed on the mouth, but I have a nanny from when I was 18 months old until I was in 7th grade. When she had kids, they were mouth kissers. The day I discovered they also do Nutella kisses I thought it was the sweetest thing and became a huge fan! Literally sweet!

The Spann Fam said...

Mouth kissers, here! And I know that I probably kissed my parents on the mouth as a child, I don't ever remember doing so. We stick to cheeks now. My daughter and son used to kiss each other on the mouth (they are now 9 and 7) but declared it gross about a year ago. But we still give smooches, 3 pecks in a row to be exact!

Costume Diva said...

I, too grew up kissing both my parents on the lips, and almost 30 years later we still do. Its nothing lingering, just sweet pecks. I plan to do the same with my children. This is a whole other topic but, what about bathing with your child/ parent?

Anonymous said...

What cracks me up is how rah rah hurray this blog is. I have no problemo with kissing little ones on a mouth, up to a point. But dear crazy New Yorkers, I guarantee you most of America would think going around kissing anyone over the age of about 4 on the lips is weird. :) All the comments are all like "mommies can do no wrong." It's one thing to be supportive. It's another to say there are no lines.

the lil bee said...

Mouth!
You know what, though, I think it definitely is a cultural thing. A lot of the Italian men in my family kiss each other on the cheek hello.

Collin, Lani & Jude said...

Kissing my little Ju Ju Bee is one of my favorite things to do. It just feels right. I never kissed my parents on the lips much while growing up but there is something about kissing Jude that is just natural. Bonding. In fact, I'm going to go get him right now and give him a big smooch!

Anonymous said...

LOL- this is my favorite post of yours- ever! What a slightly uncomfortable, but relevant topic! I always kissed my parents on the mouth, and I'd imagine that I'd kiss my babies someday on the mouth, but perhaps it comes down to an age thing. I'm not sure if I'd kiss my grown son on the mouth at that point. I think it will partly have to do with our relationship in general.

Joanna Goddard said...

i love these comments!!! :) so funny -- both the thumbs ups and the thumbs downs. keep them coming! :)

lindel said...

I kiss my family on the cheek, and until recently I kissed my son (almost 2) everywhere but his mouth. However when he goes to sleep at night he rolls over and gives me big mouth kisses! Very intimate but also so sweet and lovely.

Jen said...

My family is full of cheek-kissers. When other people's children try to kiss me on the mouth (because that's how it's done in their home), I become pretty uncomfortable and try to turn my cheek. I'd say 75% of the time, the kids try their darnedest to get that mouth kiss and think that I'm the weird one, lol.

Lola Storm said...

Great post. I don't have any kiddos yet, but I do kiss my niece (11 mos) on the lips (and so do all other 8 family members).

Growing up, me and my 3 siblings all kissed my mom and dad on the mouth, probably until we were 8 or 9. My mom and I still miss every now and again and smooch each other on the lips. It's always funny and a little nostalgic.

Jillian said...

We are mouth kissers with our almost 2 year old, all the way! It is kind of funny when he tries to kiss other people on the mouth, but it is so sweet when he puckers up. :)

Anonymous said...

I love this post and reading all of the comments. Like many, I kiss my 2 children on the lips. My daughter is 7 and my son is 5. My daughter sometime kisses me on the cheek and I have noticed that she switches to cheek kissing if we are in public and she things anyone might be watching. There really is nothing better than a big, warm kiss on the lips :-)

Jac said...

I'm 24 and my parents, grandparents, sisters, niece and nephew all get mouth kisses to this day. No one in my family things twice about it.

jana beck said...

funnily enough, my parents are NOT kissers at all. i can't ever remember even being kissed on the cheek! but since we've had nieces and nephews, kissing on the mouth just seems so natural and NORMAL. [my fiance would beg to differ, but that is a different story].

i'm beginning to think though that there is an age where it starts to be awkward. no offense, but when i saw my friends kiss their parents on the lips at older ages, i've always thought it was so weird! i have even noticed that with my 7-year-old nephew he is getting a little too old for me to be comfortable with lip kisses.

but i always make him give his aunt jana a peck on the cheek - those are always appropriate!

xoxo.
jana

Sunshine said...

Great post! Growing up I didn't kiss my parents in the mouth. I think as a mother with her baby is fine to kiss in the mouth but when they get older I think it should stop.

Michelle Lee said...

love this post :)

pinklemonincrystal.blogspot.com

Melanie said...

I couldn't imagine going through life without kisses from all four of my beautiful babies (Okay, so the oldest is eight, but still my baby!) I did at one point, however, have to inform my youngest daughter that I am NOT Prince Charming and she cannot "kiss me like we're married" as she calls it. It was hilarious.
I have friends that refuse to kiss their children on the mouth and often find that, though they love their children dearly, they were never given that kind of love themselves. I find it sad that they choose, whether consciously or not, to carry on that cycle. Expressing love is so important!
My daughter made me so happy when I told her I loved her and she smiled at me announcing, "I KNOW, Mama. You tell me EVERY DAY." Then she gave me a big ol' kiss!
Great post!

Kathysue said...

Interesting, I have never even thought about it!! I have always kissed my children and grandkids on the mouth, cheek, forehead back of neck!! I guess it depends on where your mind is when you do the kissing. I think as a MOM we just kiss them because we just LOVE them to pieces. Enjoy kissing your babies,Kathysue

SeattleMommy said...

Wow- I never thought about it. I live in a family of mouth kissers. My son and daughter (4 & 7) kiss us on the mouth several times a day. I even have a couple friends that I kiss on the mouth.

andrea said...

Lovely post! My brand new baby niece just arrived this past weekend and everytime I see her I give her a million kisses all over, including her little mouth. She is just too precious not too!

Elizabeth said...

Joanna, I'm just the same - I cannot resist kissing my little boy Alex (4 weeks) all over! But my husband is "rocking the forehead pecks".

One Woman's Thoughts said...

A kiss that is sincere and sweet is good wherever it is planted. But I go for the gusto . . . on the lips, and forehead, and cheek and nose and hand and toes . . .

Gaby M. said...

I have a six month old baby nd I try not to kiss him in the mouth a lot ans so does my husband, but it is really hard. Sometimes after we give him a bath, ke kiss him all over the place and after the mouth kissin, we said "it was him, I swear"! and we laugh about it, Once I read somewhere that there was nothing sick about it, but as the mouth is somehow "reserved" for romantical kisses, if you kiss your kiss in the mouth, that means that you are an "invasive" mother, buuuuu!
Kisses (wherever you feel confortable) from Buenos Aires!

KMRH said...

Your post reminded me of this: High Five for First Kiss

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/09/harmony-smith-high-five-first-kiss-video_n_859731.html

So sweet!

ivey@durangomom.com said...

of course! on the lips! i always had a compelling urge to 'eat' my babies and I know I can't be alone!kids now older 5,9 and 12....still on the lips! my 9 year older is fantastic kisser!

ivey@durangomom.com said...

of course! on the lips! i always had a compelling urge to 'eat' my babies and I know I can't be alone!kids now older 5,9 and 12....still on the lips! my 9 year older is fantastic kisser!

Lindsay said...

I save kisses on the lips for my hubby. I want my kiddos to know it's special for mommy and daddy and for them and their future spouse. :)

Marie Bee said...

i come from a family of mouth kissers, too.

my husband and i are always kissing our 16 month old son on the lips. and he does it back. i don't know if this will be a forever thing, but i'm soaking up his slimy kisses while i can :) i hope your husband tries it, he's missing out!

Elissa said...

I always kissed my dad on the cheek and my Mom on the mouth/cheek. I mostly kiss my daughter on the cheeks because they're just so cute and soft and squishy I just can't resist them! I do occasionally kiss her on the mouth.

Now that I'm older though, I feel weird about kissing anyone on the mouth, unless of course it's my daughter or a boyfriend

sarah w said...

this is great! i'm not affectionate by nature, but my 2 1/2 year-old son is a total mouth kisser, and he has softened me. it's cute and innocent and sweet, and it always makes me smile when i'm giving him a kiss at bedtime and he says "on the lips."

Elissa said...

Interesting... I've never kissed my parents on the mouth and I don't think they ever kissed me on the mouth (that I can remember). My dad is American and my mother is Japanese. I can't even imagine being kissed on the mouth by my parents! Different cultural norms, very cool.

Meg said...

i think it is a very cute sentiment. and it's something i've been thinking about these past few days... i just got back from a week vacation in hawaii with my husband, parents, brothers & sister-in-law. we were celebrating my parents' 30th anniversary. it was lovely because we live on the other side of the country from everyone and hardly get to see them anymore. one evening during our vacation, my mom was going out for a walk with my dad and i was chattering to her from my bedroom, and she grinned at me and came up and pecked me on the lips and said "i love you mufty" (her nickname for me, long story!) and later she told me she thought it was nice to kiss me on the lips, that she decided to do it because she realized she hadn't done it since i was so little. she said, "was that ok with you" and i said "of course!" and she said "yes, it was weird but good." and we agreed that kissing family on the lips, or showing any kind of lovely affection, should never be a bad thing. the more kisses the better! and that first picture is sooo adorabe.

Sarah Hurwitz said...

my dad and I still occasionally peck each other on the lips (I'm 28). I know, its probably not a common habit, but its meant in the same way as your baby kisses.

Alejandra said...

Great topic! We have a really close family friend and neighbor who is the nicest guy ever, but he always kisses everyone on the mouth which weirds me and my mom out. I also remember watching Meet Joe Black and thinking it was weird that the daughter would always kiss her dad right on the mouth. I'm a cheek kisser with everyone except for my husband, but I would probably totally kiss my baby on the mouth. I also have no problem kissing adorable doggies on the mouth!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but when you said that part about making out with your baby...GROSS and totally not normal! That freaked me out. I have 4 kids 17-5 and we never kiss on the lips after about the age of 1 or so. Where do you draw the line i wonder.And as for the photo on the bottom of your post, i have one word for that INCEST...it looks way too sexualized....OMG SO GROSS

Anonymous said...

I am a 23 year old woman and still kiss family on the mouth. Mom, dad, grandmother, uncle. aunt, cousins. I dont think its weird and its not like we are making out its just a peck.

goosey chew said...

I still kiss my parents on the mouth and i'm in my 30's? My 18mo is a mouth kisser too and we seep her off her feet and smooch her like an old fashioned film star. ;)

becca b said...

I kiss my kid on the mouth (he's still little, though), but my parents on the cheek. I'm still getting used to being comfortable with kissing my friends on the cheek...I love mouth kisses from the babe, though.

Stephanie said...

Such a sweet post. I kiss my boys on the lips and they love it. My 2 yr old loves giving and getting kisses on the mouth. He loves to kiss all over his baby brother too making the most dramatic kissing noises.

Anonymous said...

I tend to kiss cheeks and foreheads and corners of lips. But that's when I kiss. Normally, I hug..and that's sometimes rare.

Paige said...

I'm from a kiss on the mouth family (Mom, dad, brother, sister) and I didn't realize that is was unnatural to do so until I came to college! I guess I never saw it as weird considering it's only the lightest kiss ever, but I could see if you didn't grow up with it then it would be weird.

Thanks for posting this! After learning that many people DON'T kiss on the mouth, I became a little self conscious about it. I'm glad to know there are other people out there like me who kiss family members on the mouth. :)

Jill said...

I never thought of myself as a prude, but the mouth kissing thing rubs me all wrong. Even that last picture made me cringe and normally I find it acceptable for babies/moms to kiss on the mouth. The idea of kissing either of my perfectly lovely parents on the mouth? No thank you.

abby said...

this is so interesting! I'm not a mom (yet) but i have a 4 year old niece and i kiss her on the mouth. I'm 28 years old and once in a while still kiss my mom on the mouth. I haven't kissed my dad on the mouth probably i guess since puberty, but when i was a little kid, i know i did! Now i stick to giving him kisses on the top of his bald head. I know when i have a baby, i'll be kissing him or her all over their cute little face.

Junaluska said...

I've never really thought about it! I give hugs to my family members, but I usually only kiss my grandparents, either on the cheek or the forehead [if they're sitting down]. I think people should kiss more.

Ros said...

I love kissing my baby boy on his slobbery mouth!! He always opens it wide just in time too!

Carrie LeeAnn said...

Joanna, have you seen this youtube video about a little boy and girl sharing their first kiss? It is so cute! Feels appropriate for this kissing post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEN-kHe5o_Y

Hillary said...

I kiss lots of people on the mouth, parents included. I can't think of who I kiss on the cheek only, which must mean it's not an important distinction.

Oh, except my uncle who thinks it's very European to kiss me on the cheek 3 times (like left-right-left).

Robin said...

I love kissing my baby on the lips! Come to think of it, I probably share more kisses with him than my husband lately...I need to work on that! Thanks for another great post!

Hillary said...

Oh, and I was re-reading comments and the one that referenced crazy New Yorkers got my family wrong: they are Michiganders (like Joanna's).

Zsuzsa said...

NO. In Hungary you never kiss anyone on the lips BUT your lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, housband. Never a child, it is considered somehow pervert. Sorry. Different culture.

Greta said...

I kissed my parents on the lips when I was young, but consciously stopped at about age 12 when I first started kissing boys! That was the first time I thought of mouth kissing in a different way, I guess. :) Before that, it was just normal.

Rachael said...

I am so glad to see at least one other non-kisser among the comments! I was a mouth kisser when I was little--probably up to around age 6--and then one day my mom made us watch The Brady Bunch, and it was the episode where they talk about French Kissing and that's what you do when you love someone, and I was like "well I love my mommy!" and...mouth kisses stopped. Now I am a hug and reluctant awkward European cheek-swipe-kiss person if I can't avoid it. It's so weird to think about kissing family on the mouth. Now I'm wondering how I'll feel about this when I have kids! I bet I'll kiss them everywhere.

Simply Mel {Reverie} said...

full on, smack dab in the pucker with my crumb ~ wouldn't have it any other way!

Nancy E. J. said...

I love this! It's good to know I'm not alone. :) I kiss my baby girl ALL day and anywhere I find sweet baby skin: her head, her slobbery lips, her chubby cheeks, little stinky feet, cute belly, her warm neck...I really just can't get enough of her! I always love it when I get a little giggle out of her when I kiss her.

I think it's really sweet for a mommy and babe to kiss on the lips, but I don't know if I'd do so with my mom at this point.

Sarah said...

haha wow it's been really interesting reading these comments. I honestly didn't even know that there are families that kiss on the mouth.
We've always kissed on the cheek and I cringe to imagine anything else. But maybe things will be different when I have kids of my own?

Lindsay said...

My baby boy turns one tomorrow and I cannot kiss his slobbery sweet mouth enough. The slobberyer (word?) the better!!! I am glad that you made that comment that you practically make out with Toby because that is what I feel like with my Christopher! :)

Thanks for the great post,

Lindsay

lindsaypompey.blogspot.com

Thea said...

There are different kinds of mouth kissing. I grew up kissing on the mouth, and still do, but I give different ones to different people. My mom always licks her lips before she kisses (which drives me nuts), so I usually give her a quick kiss and huge warm hug. But most everyone knows that I am mouth kisser, so whether they like it or not, they know they have a big smacker comin' towards them! I don't have kids of my own, but I can't wait for slobbery wet ones.

joy said...

Coming from a traditional Chinese family where Asian culture generally does not encourage much physical touching, I rarely kissed my parents during childhood (don`t worry, I did have many loving cheek and forehead kisses for goodnights!) and I don`t kiss my relatives- just a greeting is enough for us. Of course, I can`t help but kiss my darling younger cousins on the cheeks all the time! teehee!

Samara said...

I think your grandfather's story was wise and true.

I think it's a bit weird, to be honest.

Anonymous said...

I'm 27 and still kiss my parents on the lips. There's a big difference between a family appropriate peck and the kind of lip kissing reserved for lovers.

ferina said...

I still kiss my baby boy on the lips(his 3 years old now)... or all over his face... we have a ritual first, kissing on the lips, then cheeks, and forehead, and the last, hugging and say 'I love you' and he will reply, 'I love you too'

Mmm.. I think I never kiss my father (parents) on the lips, as long as I remember :)

Roseann (The Naked Rose) said...

My mother (and grandmother) and I have always kissed on the mouth, and still do. My father also kisses me on the mouth, but I never really liked it because he has a beard and is a smoker. I think it affected our relationship.

Hannah said...

I kiss my mom on the lips. Not as comfortable with my dad. But surprisingly, his dad always kisses on the lips.

I think it depends on family members. I feel very comfortable with lip kisses though :)

Anonymous said...

i always have, do, and will kiss my immediate family (parents, sisters, nieces, nephews) on the mouth, but for cousins, grandparents, etc. i usually stick to kisses on the cheek.

im in college, and all my friends think its weird that i still give my family kisses, but i remember thinking as a kid that i never wanted to make my parents sad by being embarrassed to show them public affection, like my other kids did, and i have kept that promise up until now.

i love that kissing them on the mouth makes me feel like i am still their kid daughter or sister who needs to be babied sometimes.

it really doesn't matter to me what other people think or feel about it, because i love my family, and i love letting them know that as long as my love for them in genuine and authentic, i will choose to show it to them no matter what others think!!

Jana said...

I kiss my kids square on the mouth. I guess I will stop when they no longer want me to kiss them there...but for now it is natural. I just love their little faces, so like you I want to kiss them all over...I think its part of taking it all in when you can...because eventually that ends...

I kissed my parents on the mouth, but now its cheek kisses...I would say around 14 is when the lip kisses ended, but I am pretty sure they ended because of me.

Anonymous said...

My grandparents kiss me on the lips and I'm 26! It's so lovely and normal. I don't know how I'd feel about my Mum and Dad but we've never kissed on the lips so I guess it's what you're used to.

It makes me sad to think of the day I wont get a stubbly peck on the smoochers from my Pa!

Heather said...

I kiss my 2 month old on the lips. I have since he was born. I can't help it- he has the cutest mouth. You're right- it is an impulse!

fine little home said...

we grew up giving our parents kisses, sometimes on the cheek sometimes on the lips, where ever it lands is fine with us. but we also were taught to kiss our elders on the cheek, i never felt weird about that either. i think most of our parents friends had mixed feelings but i think it's polite. i lived in Puerto Rico for a year and everyone kisses there and it was nice, like we were all family.
as a mama of two boys 3 & 6 1/2 we kiss lips, cheeks, toes, belly buttons, etc. my just turned 3 yr old loves to give long wet kisses and sometimes slips a little tongue in there but again whatever, i'm just happy he loves to give me kisses... of any kind ; )

Melinda said...

all about the mouth! and my mom also will kiss my kids on the mouth when we visit her, with my dad it depends. I still kiss my parents on the mouth, just a quick peck of course. hubby kisses the kids on the mouth also.

Colwyn Murphy said...

I think I melted a little bit the first time I kissed Leah's soft, teeny baby lips... they're just so innocent. Even the slobbery attempts she makes now are too adorable as it seems like they're just so filled with love. I am dreading the day she decides she's too cool for kisses. My husband is dying for her to give him kisses back, but she'd rather tweak his nose!

Anonymous said...

Great topic! My kids are 11 and 9 and when I walk them to school, I have to kiss them (on the lips) a street away! ha ha.I always kiss them on the lips when I leave them ie when I go to work. Actually it is a habit, i always say 'love you'and kiss them on the lips. It's a ritual! Not sure what will happen when they are teenagers will have to see. My parents live on the other side of the world to me so when we see each other we always kiss on the lips!

Emokitty said...

Nobody is trying to "make out" with their babies. A kiss from a one year old usually involves an open mouth and saliva. I think it's a funny expression in no way intending to be sexual. However, I can see how some may be completely grossed out by the term. Sorry!

Mary said...

This is a great post Joanna. It made me laugh. As a child I kissed both my parents goodnight on the lips. When I became a teenager I changed tack and now it's only cheek kisses for them. Funny thing is my boyfriend is from south africa and there you kiss your sister, aunts, grandma etc as well as your mom on the lips. The second time I met his step brother he kissed me on the lips too! That startled me but I tried not to show it at the time out of manners! My boyfriend and I talk about it from time to time and laugh how some traditions are different! If I had a baby I think I wouldn't be able to resist smooching them all over!

Beatriz said...

I have never thought about it! I never kiss my parents on their mouth but I do to my son all the time. (he is 11 years old)
Actually I kiss him all around, it doesn't matter where, I catch him and kiss him! And he does the same way to me (just to me), he doesn't do to other people.
And we kiss each other all the time (I'm Spanish) I don't know if it is a latin way to show love.

Anonymous said...

It's important for kids to know that their body is only their's. It's an awful subject to bring up but very very important -childabuse. It's happening even in homes and places you'd never guess. Often committed by family members and relatives.

I know by my own experience.

I never wanted to make out with my stepdad. I'm not saying that a kiss on the mouth is strange, but only until a certain age.
So give love but do not cross that fine line. As an adult be strong enough to see things, if it's there.

kez said...

I come from an extremely affectionate family and now (at the age of 25) still kiss both my parents on the lips. But it is only my parents - other family members get cheek kisses from :)

Catarina Almeida Santos said...

Love the photos ;)
http://santiroyalhome.blogspot.com/

Flourishing Networks said...

I think as they get older it does change....my kids would tell their nana off for kissing them on the lips and said it is for boyfriends and girlfriends only to kiss on lips. I remember my sister and I at that age really not liking our grandparents kissing us on the lips. So now respect their request as this is so important.

Izzy said...

I kiss my little on the mouth, cheecks, head, wherever the mood strikes. I kiss my mom on the lips, but not my dad. It makes him uncomfortable. I'm European, so kissing on the cheeck comes naturally, but here in America, I have to remember not to do that.

helen said...

I will definitely kiss my kids on the mouth. (But perhaps tell them it's not appropriate to do this with everyone they mett?) My ma kisses me either on the lips or both cheeks, I'm happy with either way, I only see her twice a year.

Polly said...

My parents always have kissed me on the mouth. I think my dad still does and I'm 20 now! Just a peck of course ;)

thejadeleaf said...

Joanna, I had never ever given this subject any thought until this post. Kissing my baby daughter on the lips is as natural as breast feeding her. Jade x

Anonymous said...

My folks and I have always been comfortable kissing on the mouth- the same kind of pecking kisses we'd give each other on the cheeks. I am 30 now, an only child, and it continues to be a warm and welcome habit for all of us.

Nicole said...

I scrolled through some of the many comments and am surprised at how many people kiss their parents or children on the mouth! Can't say I do either. But I kiss my baby boy all day long on the cheeks. I guess I feel it's really inappropriate to kiss him on the lips because I didn't grow up that way. Interesting topic!

Anya adores said...

In Denmark everybody kissed on the lips when I was little, and I never really liked it, and stopped doing it quite young, but I now have kids and kiss them all the time - all over, but perhaps not as often on the lips.
I enjoy kissing my husband on the lips though :O)
A xo

Kary said...

How funny that you posted this. At Easter Dinner my sisters and my parents had this very conversation about how very little we kiss or hug as a family. My two other sisters still do not have kids...but I have two kids. My daughter who is 5, and my son who is 11. I have always huged and kiss my kids. I really kissed all over them when they were babies as you do Toby, without a 2nd though. My son recently told me that he was getting to old for me to kiss him goodnight. I told him that his secret was safe with me I wasn't telling anyone, and he said he guessed he wasn't too old. I don't want the hugs and kissing to ever stop! Somehow it did in the family I grew up in...but it doesn't mean my family has to follow suite.

Glamour Diaries said...

Yes! Another wonderful post for Motherhood Monday!

When I was little I remember kissing my mom and my grandma on the mouth, no big deal.

I also remember trying to kiss my mom like how they kiss in the movies. I was only three and when I think back it's just funny. I would come at her with a big open mouth for a kiss. Of course she would say "no, no, dear, that's not how we kiss..." And teach me right from wrong.

But now, no, I don't kiss any family member's on the mouth. I must have simply grown out of it and become less affectionate growing up.

natalie said...

Funny, I had never thought of this as even being a discussion until now. Everyone in my family (extended included) plant one right on the lips. The Italians tend to go a little overboard with the affection, and I noticed my Scandinavian fiance's family do not love all over each other like we do, but I always assumed they were just weird... now i'm thinking maybe we are the weird ones.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness I am so glad you blogged about this subject. I live in Italy and my mother in law told my husband (after seeing me and him both kiss our 3 month old daughter on the mouth tons of times) that you are NEVER supposed to kiss a baby on the mouth she might get any germs you have come into contact with. Thankfully my husband still kisses her on the mouth and I of course still do as well (with loud kissy noises and all) but it makes me CRAZY that my mother in law feels the need to tell us that we should not kiss our own daughter on the mouth. It seems to be to be the most nautural and lovely thing in the world!!!

Bel said...

Hi, Joanna!
Well, my parents have always kissed me on the cheeks, and that seems lovely enough, and also appropriate ;) I remember being a little scared when I figured my same-age-cousin kissed her mother on the lips, so I swear I prefer the way my parents do! But I may confess that if I ever have a baby I am not sure I will resist (and probably I would feel comfortable to do so, as babe are no judgemental at all!)

Cara said...

In my family we are not super affectionate. I hug and kiss my parents on the check but I RARELY hug my brothers and I don't think I have ever kissed them or they kissed me (we are 25, 28, 31). Same with my aunts uncles and cousions, we rarely hug and never kiss.

I think with my kids I will be more affectionate, and I will encourage them to be more affectionate with their Aunts and Uncles. I think it is something missing from my family and I want to change that going foward.

Personally though I will stick to cheeks. I agree baby to toddlers giving kisses on the mouth is ok (they don't know better) but once they get to be school aged it will switch to cheek kisses.

Good topic!

lemondropdreams said...

Ocassionally I'll kiss my parents on the mouth. My older two kids have become cheek kissers but the younger two aren't satisfied unless is smack dab on the lips!

Corilu Designs said...

This is a really great topic, I thought I'd share. My kids are in there early teens and when they were babies, I always kissed them on the mouth. It is instinctual and beautiful. Even my husband kissed his kids on the mouth. Your kids will let you know when they don't want to be kissed on the mouth anymore, especially boys! My daughter (she's 13) doesn't kiss me on the lips anymore either, but I see some of her friends still do with their mothers. So, really it all depends on the comfort of the individual.

Charly said...

I kiss my mother all over her face, it is a ritual. Forehead, cheeks, nose, one eye, the other eye and then her mouth. It is a very personal, sweet and tender gesture. I have done it since I was a toddler and I still do it. In airports, in hospitals, wherever I feel like doing it. Because honest to God, it is the best chance God has given me to love and be loved and I don't really care if people find it creepy. It is so pure and unique, is a mother and daughter thing, it is pure bliss!.
Congratulation Jo, for talking about things almost no one dares to talk about!. Lovely!

kristie said...

We are mouth kissers. My daughter turns 13 tomorrow and she still puckers up and gives me sweet kisses and gets them as well. Now my 6 year old son he reminds me of the last picture you shared today. The hands around the neck, really leaning in...he is very affectionate. I let them lead, in public is different. Also, my husband kisses them on the mouth too, but it is more cheek these days as they get older. We both let them lead so if they want a little distance as they get older, no worries...both are extremely cuddly and feel quite comfortable with affection however it is shown. I figure as they grow we will allow space as they need it and be here for them to come back to as needed as well. Oh how I love the smoochy pictures!!!!

Megan Peiser said...

I am a 26 year old married woman, and when I see my father we always kiss on the mouth. Just because I have grown up does not mean that he loves me any differently than he did when I was a babe. I appreciate the constancy of his love.

Starry said...

Until I read this post I never even questioned it. I kiss my baby nephew on the mouth and also my friends babies. While I can see it as quite natural I can see how some people, more so for the men, might feel weird about it.

I just think it's adorable, once they grow up they won't want a kiss from mom or auntie any more!

Marianne said...

Oh goodness, I love sweet kisses on the mouth from my two year old. LOVE!

terry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Not your goddess said...

I kiss my babies right on the mouth and all over their pretty little faces. My 5 year old son happily kisses me on the mouth and his father has always done this as well. Although now he's taught him to shake hands instead, which I find both cute and a bit sad...
I remember kissing my parents goodnight although I can't remember whether it was on the mouth or not. I guess I stopped doing that when I reached a certain age, probably around puberty, but today I only kiss them on the cheek, I'd find kissing them on the mouth, especially my dad, very uncomfortable.

Bri (like the cheese) said...

Oh my, what a fun topic! I have so much I could say:
My family is all mouth kissers. I kiss my children, my parents and my grandparents on the mouth. My mom kisses my husband on the mouth. She even did it when we were just dating!
Baby-mouth kisses are the best. My 9-month old will occasionally let me kiss his mouth, although he's usually too interested in what's going on around him to offer up anything but a cheek. He chuckles when I get him on the mouth though! I wonder if he will still let me kiss his mouth when he's 4...or 10. My daughter will be 4 in a couple weeks and thinks that you're just supposed to kiss on the mouth - specifically when greeting someone or telling them goodbye. She's gets put-off by people who offer their cheek or worse, refuse a kiss outright (like little boys her age). I've had to explain that mouth kisses are for family. She recently went through a 'movie kisses' phase after watching Aladdin a few (hundred) too many times. I went to kiss her goodbye on my way to work & she grabbed the sides of my head an planted one on me, Hollywood-style - "like Jasmine and Aladdin" she told me. So I had to talk to her about how 'movie kisses' are for husbands & wives.

Jen said...

My Mom used to FREAK OUT when we would accidentally kiss on the mouth. Not because it was embarrassing in some way, but because she was convinced either she or I or both of us would automatically catch a cold. I never kept up with whether or not she was right, but she would laughingly say, "Oh no, we're gonna get sick!" I miss her.
I have a funny picture of my son & I, when he was about 4 months, lying on the floor. He sort of rolled up to me, put his hand on my jaw and...slobbered on my mouth. It looks like an adorable tender kiss.

Anonymous said...

I recently had a funny experience with this. I was visiting my parents (their in their late 70’s) and we were getting ready to leave the house when my mom puckered her lips to kiss my dad good bye and then I did the same thing and he planted one on my mouth. I was shocked because we have never been mouth kissers (well spouses do but not other family). It took me back for a moment and then I wondered why he did it or why I puckered up for it. We laughed for a second but it was odd and felt awkward. It was as if I forgot for a second that we don’t do that and so did he. I am very affectionate with my husband and my teenage daughter (we kiss both cheeks several times to say hello or good bye) but within our family we are mostly huggers. It’s interesting to wonder why this is and why families start the habits and traditions that they do. I don’t think I want to switch to mouth kissing them I prefer the big hug, plus I’m kind of a germ aphobe.

Anonymous said...

For as long as I can remember I only kissed my parents/ grandparents on the cheek (and vice versa). I did though have an affinity when I was a toddler to kiss my younger cousins while yelling 'baby kisses' with excitement.
I have to admit though I became uncomfortable this past New Year with my boyfriend kissing his female friends on the lips; after a certain age lip kissing took on a new meaning for me. I didn't previously consider this isn't the case for everyone.

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