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Thursday, September 03, 2009

Nichole: "Our Secrets to a Happy Marriage"

Think play, not romance.
Forget flowers, dinner and candles, and instead play a video game, have a water-gun battle or play in a photo booth (or with Photobooth if you have a Mac!).

Embrace imperfection.
Accept that you're both going to make mistakes, and if the mistake was not intentionally hurtful, let it go. Adjust your expectations and align them with reality (dirty towels on the floor, pre-menstrual hormone insanity), not fantasy (a pristine house, a perpetually perky disposition).

Reinvigorate the Old.
Life's grind sometimes whittles away the parts of us that are carefree, inspired, focused or fun. One of the best things you can do for your spouse is to defend the parts of them that you married them for. And that doesn't mean saying "You used to be so..." It means reminding them that they ARE those things; they're not gone, even on their most beaten down days.

Discover the New.
Embark on unplanned adventures. Often.


-- Nichole, Little Brown Pen

65 comments:

paperhill said...

so true :) we are celebrating our 10 year anniversary this week.

modernemotive said...

Beautiful!

Adele

lesley said...

what a gorgeous post. thankyou!

montague said...

thanks for the inspiration!

Jaeve + Things said...

I agree with everything! Well said! My boyfriend and I approach our relationship the very same way. :)

Elizabeth y Ibraim said...

I loved your answer. It's very true. My husband has a theory that hollywood has ruined romance and fun for all real couples. Hollywood romance makes us think that the only forms of romance are flowers and candle light dinners, and before we know it we've forgotten how to recognize other demonstrations of love and happiness, like playing a video game, or randomly dancing in the living room, or the fact that you always have breakfast together, etc. My husband and I are different in that he is a homebody and I love to go out. We've been working in Brazil for the past nine months, and we decided that for our last two months here we're going to take an adventure to a new town or beach every weekend. We're having so much fun!

-Elizabeth

mandiegirl said...

Love reading this when most of the time you read of complaining about spouses or failed marriages. :) It's cool to love your spouse and make it 'worth it' to stay married!

Paisley Petunia said...

Well said. Thank you for posting this, it really made me think...and smile.
Congrats on your wonderful marriage!
I hope to remember these words for a long time.

Amy (the b-line) said...

Adorable shots of the two of you, Nichole. And wonderful advice, too. I think the "reinvigorate the old" point is especially important.

Sara Szatmary said...

The first part of this post made my heart melt. My boyfriend is all about play, not so much for the romance. However, the longer we're together, the more I appreciate that laughing with him until my stomach hurts IS romantic. Thank you Nichole!

Chucklebum said...

I wish I could have stumbled upon great advice like this before my relationship fell apart...

A French Cloud said...

so true about playing...that's what love is about!

Anne said...

So what if I hate loosing a(nother) board game to my husband? Looove to play. ;) Great pictures, Nichole!

ColourOfAbsence said...

lovely! thank you for the inspiration :) and i love your blog!

katie said...

the first tip is fabulous. well they all are.

patricia said...

I love, love this. We're all about the play vs romance too. You two are just adorable.

Zom! said...

Too true! This series was such a great idea & has inspired the perfect wedding gift for a bride to be who has everything. Thanks and congrats Jo!

Kaylen said...

So far, I like this one best.

Rachel Dangerfield said...

Perfect :)
What fantastic advice. I love the pictures of Nichole and her hub. You guys look so wonderfully in love!

Simply Mel said...

Brilliant advice from an obviously blissful couple!

Fern said...

As I am recently engaged and have only begun to think seriously about what marriage entails, I really really love this series, Joanna. Thank you!!

That City Girl said...

i am getting married in a week and a half and am SO happy to see all this great advice and know that there are many couples out there still thriving and still in love. i LOVE seeing that!! thanks for this...

fanny said...

they're so cute together and their vision of a happy marriage pretty much sums up what I think.

xx fanny

Maranda @ {Evoked} said...

So true! I don't think my husband and I would still be together were it not for the play! Laughter can solve so many problems and make easier so many difficult situations!

I have really been enjoying this series =)

Bexpress yourself said...

This post made me feel like crying! My favourite tips of the series so far, hands down. I might print it out and put it on my wall...

The Lil Bee said...

These are all great bits of advice, but most especially that last one. So very true:)

Laura Trevey said...

great advice!!
you have to be able to have fun, laugh, and joke to keep the sparks alive!!

Melissa said...

I really love this special feature! Thanks for sharing it with us.

the southern hostess said...

Terrific advice! I love these thoughts.

Corinna White Charlton said...

LOVE THIS! I think women especially get caught up in the idea that love should be a fairytale and our husband should be our prince charming, all the time. always doing the dishes and paying the bills. but a sink full of dirty dishes happens, and dirty laundry...i needed that reminder to remind my husband of the fun and awesome guy he has always been, despite the brow beating work gives him...thank you! off to visit your blog! :)

Michelle | Cicada Studio said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Very nice to read!

nichole said...

Aw, wow. Thanks guys! I am so inspired by all of your reactions to the marriage posts. We all really want the same things, and it seems like none of us look to Hollywood or fairy tales for the keys to happiness.

;)

Nichole

Blueprint Bliss said...

Love this.

Melissa de la Fuente said...

This is wonderful advice Nicole...especially that last bit about reminding them.....I love it! Thanks for sharing.
xo
Melis

christina said...

Nichole, you've gone and done it again. I love how you can express your feelings about Evan without sounding silly or sappy. I absolutely love every word you said. So true.

Antonio Barros said...

Lovely tips!!!

thesingular.blogspot.com

Janet said...

such wisdom! especially like the one about reinventing the old. good stuff.

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

I have a serious crush on your couplehood! :) Lovely advice Nichole.

The Wanderers' Daughter said...

I agree with "think play" 150%. Our marriage is based on a foundation of humor. I think a really fine sense of humor is the sexiest thing about a man, no contest. Play and humor are the grist to the mill or our marriage.

**WE BLOG ARTISTS** said...

Brilliant you are...have a great weekend and thanks for sharing!
Char

Jen said...

This sounds so much like me and Joe :) This post made my day!

Sassy Molassy said...

OOh, i really loved this one. So true and good tips.

Susan said...

I love this one!!!

And my husband and I are quickly coming upon our tenth anniversary :O)

Down Pillow said...

Wow! What an inspiration you both are! Thank you so much for sharing.

baballa said...

I just love this post!!!

Michelle said...

This post is perfect. Really speaks to my own relationship with my husband!!!!

Rumo ao Altar said...

Hi!!!
Thanks for the advice...Sometimes is good to remember...

André said...

Nichole!
You guys seem to be a very nice couple. It's always refresing when i come across with such inspirational words and lifestyle! Wish you the best!

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m said...

really inspiring - thx :)

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